Project Hail Mary is perhaps one of the most scientifically-grounded stories I've ever read, and, as is true for many fans, that's a big part of why I love it so much. my day job is as an astrophysicist (in training, anyway); that spectrometer Grace pointed at Adrian to figure out its atmosphere? I do that for a living! every piece of real science in that book—from exoplanet study, to radiation poisoning, to biological evolution, to insert science here—was discovered by scientists who dedicated their lives to developing our understanding of us and the universe.
all of that is in jeopardy. again.
if you live in the US, you may have heard about the changes recently proposed by the OMB to the federal funding process (ie, how we as scientists get money from the government to do our science). these changes will make attaining scientific funding exceptionally difficult, shroud the process in political and wholly non-scientific bureaucracy, and make it possible for funds received to be revoked at any time without legitimate cause. scientists with federal funding would no longer have freedom to choose what conferences to attend, and would not be able to use their funds to cover the (extremely expensive!) costs of publishing their work in a journal—these are the two primary ways new discoveries are circulated.
these changes, if enacted, will choke out american science when it is already severely struggling.
the good news: we still have time to comment on these changes and tell them we do not want this.
I highly encourage you to read this article from the American Astronomical Society and take action as described within. this article dissects the worst of the changes in detail so you can leave an informed comment on the proposal, which can be done anonymously (or not) directly on the public comment page or through AAS's comment form (linked in the article). public comments will close on 13 July, 2026.
now, more than ever, we need the public to show that they care about science. thank you thank you thank you.
there's a post going around about frank's hands not shaking until he's alone with mel and it being because he's realizing his feelings for her.
and it is a very loving and flaily post and i support it! i don't want to rain on anyone's parade!
but that is not how i read that scene.
to me, it was there to be contrasted with the urine sample scene. in that scene, frank was in full defensive mode. he was absolutely not going to show weakness in any way. he was in the same swaggering mode we saw him in when he and whitaker had their weird moment over who was going to write louis's prescription. he was showing control and displaying strength the way he did later when he told robby he needs help.
this is frank hiding his vulnerability, keeping up a front of strength, protecting himself. he has had to do that with colleagues all day and has done it in various ways (joking about his addiction, choosing his moments to make amends, etc.), but maybe never more than in that moment with the urine sample guy precisely because he's aware of how little power he has in that moment. he just had to run to do this degrading thing in order to prove himself. he probably had to apologize for not being on time. he knows he's going to have to do this over and over, again and again, and maybe he'll get used to it, but it's always going to be degrading, it's always going to be a reminder of how he failed and how everyone judges him for that and no one trusts him.
so he was holding himself in check. there was no way in hell he'd let it show that it was getting to him.
and then he finds mel. alone. at a distance from everyone else. and he can finally be vulnerable. he can let his guard down. he can let someone else see that he doesn't have it all together, that he's got messy emotions, that he was scared.
that is so incredibly intimate to me. for her to be the person who he doesn't have to keep up a facade in front of. for her to be the person who he can show his soft underbelly to. for her to be the person he doesn't have to have an act for. for her to be the person he can be his full, messy self around.
because he trusts her. he knows (already!!!! after two days!!!) that she's going to accept him in a way that no one else does. and he also always wants to make her feel comfortable being vulnerable in front of him, which we've seen since the season 1 break room scene. he lets her know that it's okay for her to be vulnerable by showing her his vulnerabilities.
and she really needs that after having shown her ugliest side to him that day. you just know that she never allows people to see those darkest aspects of her that she revealed today. she is such a genuinely upbeat person and also has been in survival/caretaking mode for so many years that she doesn't feel able to show any of that.
but this was one of her worst days, and she was already on edge, and then the painful revelations about becca (that her person lied to her, that maybe they aren't as close as mel thought they were, that becca has a life of a kind that mel doesn't precisely because mel has sacrificed so much to allow becca to have that), she cracked open and showed the shadows she stuffs down so deep.
and that's a harrowing thing. it's scary! and frank absolutely has to know that. so he gave her a kind of steadiness that she needed (their last interaction in the ambulance bay where he asked very matter-of-fact questions) and now he's showing her his own vulnerabilities to remind her that it's okay for her to have her own and that he's not judging her or thinking that she's less strong.
when they're alone together, they create this little bubble of softness and vulnerability and serenity and rest. they can let their guards down, they can show their full selves. this is going to make them both better doctors, that they can take these recharging moments together to root themselves in their humanity. the reciprocity of it all is just so deeply moving to me, whether you read their relationship as platonic or potentially romantic or some secret third thing.
So, in Robby, we’ve got a character whose main plot point for two seasons now has been that he is not coping nearly as well as he wants everybody think he is. That he’s in a very dark place mentally, and desperately doesn’t want anybody to look closely enough to realise just how bad things are, who desperately wants to fix it himself so he doesn’t have to let anybody else see the damage that he is deeply ashamed of having in the first place.
In the past 6 years, he:
Has worked on the frontlines in the ED throughout the pandemic, and has had multiple PTSD flashbacks that we’ve seen from the trauma that that alone has caused him.Â
Had to make the call on turning off the life support of his mentor/father figure (canon btw, not conjecture)
Then had to be the one to physically turn off the machines that were keeping said mentor/father figure breathing.Â
Then had to watch the aforementioned mentor/father figure die in front of him as a direct result of the decision he was forced to makeÂ
Then, instead of taking time to grieve this massive personal loss, he instead had to step into the shoes of that very same mentor/father figure, in the middle of a pandemic, and take on an incredibly stressful job and huge amount of responsibility at the drop of a hat in incredibly traumatic circumstances (a position that he’s repeatedly told by the people in charge he is doing a poor job at in comparison to his predecessor, who he greatly admired, saw as a father figure, and watched die because he had to make the decision to take him off the ventilator, not because he was gone already, but because they needed the equipment).Â
Has, for the past 6 years, compounded this trauma by returning to the place it happened day in, day out, to carry on working an already immensely emotionally taxing job (even under the best circumstances).Â
Then, on the first anniversary of Adamson’s death that he’s attempted to work through, he got whacked over the head (along with everyone else) with the absolute shocker of a day that was season one, some of the highlights being:Â
Every single fucking patient death that happened that day, that he stored away in his little mental mausoleum along with who the hell knows how many other patient deaths he’s held on to over his career
Finding out Collins had been pregnant with his child, but the timing just wasn’t right.Â
His step-son being caught in the middle of a mass shooting (at an event that he had bought the tickets for and was supposed to be at with him)
His relationship with said step-son being damaged, potentially beyond repair, because he couldn’t conjure up a miracle and save LeahÂ
Having his faith and trust in Langdon, his protege, shattered due to the drug stealing/hidden addiction (along with his faith in himself for having missed it completely).Â
Culminating in him stand on the edge of the roof, seriously considering stepping off of it (at his own hospital, when his own friends/team (that he clearly cares about) were working and would have had to work on him if he had. Seriously, can we just take a moment to comprehend how desperate and hopeless he must have been feeling in that moment for that to seem like the answer)
In the ensuing 10 months, he has now attempted therapy but, whether because he wasn’t ready for it yet or because they genuinely weren’t good fits (or a combination of the two), hasn’t gotten anything out of it beyond confirmation that it can’t help him.Â
If we’re taking Noelle’s gossip at face value, is so uncomfortable with his own thoughts and company that he has to have the TV playing in the background in order to relax enough to sleep.Â
Is exhibiting risk-taking behaviours and is currently, at best, passively suicidal, if not actively taking steps in preparation for an actual suicide attempt (yet to be determined).Â
Is being pursued by the aforementioned protege who is hoping for a reconciliation that he is not in a place to take part in right now (after he’d made plans to try to avoid said encounter, because he knew he was not in a place to be dealing with that right now), but due to circumstances, Langdon’s persistence, and the interference of outside parties, he keeps having that situation forced on him.Â
Not to even mention the stress of handing over the reins of the department to somebody he doesn’t know or trust yet, who is very eager to make big changes while he’s away and can’t do anything about it, so if he comes back - he doesn’t know what he’ll be coming back to; he’s potentially realising that he’s being pushed out of the job that’s killing him but is also his entire life/all he's got left, his last tie to Adamson, and something he did love once (if you subscribe to that interpretation of the admin-influence storyline); whatever the hell is going on with Duke’s appointment and why he’s not returning his calls; the incoming cyber-attack/Digital freeze; getting publicly side-lined by the CEO of the hospital; and whatever the hell else is about to go down in the, I’m sure, really rather chill next eight hours of his shift
Knowing that all of that has gone on, all of that crap is bubbling away unchecked under the surface (and that’s just the stuff we know about so far), is it any wonder at all that he’s a bit prickish, petty, fed up, defensive, burnt-the-fuck-out and lacking the emotional bandwidth to give the sort of grace someone in a better headspace might be able to? Not even all the time either! He’s still trying to be encouraging to the residents/med-students, still gets on fine with the team, still trying to do his job the best he can. But yeah, his temper is shorter, because he is at the absolute end of his rope (even then, the outbursts in question are about the level of a teacher/manager who’s having a particularly shit day and is just not putting up with anybody’s crap today).
Should he get help - hell yeah! Does it suck that others are copping it a bit because he's in such a bad place himself - yep. Would it be nice if he was a perfect victim and never lashed out, never got short with people, managed to maintain perfect patience and grace for everybody around him no matter what - your milage may vary there, but what doesn't is the fact that that wouldn't be realistic in the slightest.
Unfortunately, the maxim 'hurt people, hurt people' does ring true - and the whole reason that 'admitting that there's a problem' is such a huge step is because the denial and desperate hope that if you just ignore or refuse to put a name the problem for long enough, it'll sort itself out and won't actually be as bad as you know it actually is is so incredibly difficult to work your way through. You can't just click your fingers in the middle of all that and go 'right, time to put in the work and fix this' if you're not yet at the point to start putting in the work and fixing things.
I’m just so tired 😅 Empathy is not a finite resource. You can 100% feel for, or at least understand, multiple characters at the same time. You don’t need to tear other characters down and make them cartoon villains so you feel all the more justified in backing your fave (or to make your fave more sympathetic - they already are! Every character in this show is flawed, but every single one of them are still fundamentally good people who are trying their absolute best to do good in the world).Â
Coming out with stuff like:
Everyone in the Pitt should get a pass to punch Robby in the face tbh 😋
‘Manifesting Robby getting run over by a semi’Â
Do a flip!!Â
It’s actually really awful. We have such empathetic people in this fandom, it’s been so incredibly disheartening to see that get tossed out the window these past few months (I hope by a loud few, but it’s honestly hard to tell at times).Â
ok well I asked Will Graham, and he closed his eyes and twitched for a while talking to himself and then opened them and started hyperventilating and shaking.
I found my mini rant in my google doc about how making mousefur a lesbian would’ve fixed spottedleafs character.
I really do think it is a great piece of writing that stands out in comparison to the majority of warrior cats. more than anything fireheart is scared, really scared. he’s facing losing one of his mother figures and the main source of stability, wisdom and authority he has now that bluestar is so unwell. in the back of his mind he knows if she dies, cinderpelt will suddenly have to carry the burden of the entire clan’s care (including bluestar) all by herself and he is scared for her, as well as scared of telling her. he’s scared because he is only in this moment realising that she really, truly believes she is bad inside.
all this time she has actually believed she is rotten in her core and now she is about to go meet god thinking that she isn’t worthy of heaven. he’s horrified by the fact that there is just nothing he can do to fix that now. it’s too late. he’s out of time to try and convince her that she’s good. he has no way to comfort her meaningfully in her last moments. of course he’s going to try. he would eat her shame if he could. but he feels so terribly inadequate in this moment, and he has lost his yellowfang, and he has failed her by not realising how deep her wounds went. arc 1 warriors was at its absolute best when it was getting into adultification and this book did it spectacularly.
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