The Horse that makes sure your mail is safe.

I'm not here of a particular reason. Things happen in my line of work.

[mailhorse]

Fruit punch is the borg of flavors. You can't add anything to it without just making more fruit punch.

Fruit punch + lemonade= fruit punch

Fruit punch + grape = fruit punch

Fruit punch + tea = fruit punch

Any liquid + even the smallest tiniest drop of fruit punch= fruit goddam punch.

[mailhorse]

That moment of bliss you feel when it's way too hot and humid and you walk under the ac vent briefly then walk around trying to find the exact best spot to stand in to escape the humid hellscape just long enough to get the energy to carry on working until dipping back into the cold like a little bubble of air

[mailhorse]

To all the people out there who find out that you can mail a potato then go out and scribble an address on one and hand it to us...

Never stop

This is what I get out of bed for.

[mailhorse]

A tip to anyone who wants to ship rocks. Please make sure you put the rocks in a bag or something. Don't just open up the box, dump em in, and tape it up. Your rocks will not be on there for very long.

[mailhorse]

I don't know who invented the PA systems. But we have one of their prototypes.

[mailhorse]

Interesting thing today. Got a whole hamper of these arbor day trees. Each one of them soaking wet and stinking of whatever fertilizer they were filled with. Each one had a few air holes in them, so they dripped everywhere. We kept em away from everything else to keep everything all nice and dry.

It's just interesting what all you can actually ship, and were just supposed to be like. "A whole tree? Going from California to Boston? That'll be five bucks!"

[mailhorse]

As far as I can tell the temperature and humidity in this building is not based on anything. There is no pattern, there is no connection between the inside and the outside. It is beholden to no natural law. The only thing I can rely on is that will be the exact temperature and humidity to make me miserable.

[mailhorse]

The only acceptable response for when your boss asks

"Do you know where (co-worker) is?"

Is, "No I have no idea." Even if they are standing right next to you. It's not my job to keep track of these people. If you can't find em you must be a pretty shitty supervisor.

[mailhorse]

I can't remove the last time I was excited for an email. But a letter? From a real human? Oh boy, now that's something I- and it's junk...

[mailhorse]

I just do my job. I move mail, I check addresses, I DO NOT LICK THE ENVELOPES THEY'VE ALREADY BEEN LICKED, and I make sure the trucks get out on time.