[making-memories9226]

I haven’t been on here in forever wow

I got my stem cell transplant just in case anybody on here was checking for updates..Im on day 4 post transplant. Theo is still in the NICU on a high flow cannula with a feeding tube, they won’t give us any estimate of when he’ll be coming home because he’s been very touchy about weaning to lower oxygen settings. Weston is getting into a new routine at home with my dad staying with us to take care of him and me when I come home from the hospital in a few more weeks. Life has been hectic and stressful but we’ve been making it and I feel like given our circumstances were doing a pretty good job 👍

[making-memories9226]

Does anybody else get annoyed when someone like your mother in law refers to your child as theirs or am I just really overbearing and possessive?

[making-memories9226]

person: *breathes*

me: you are so fucking annoying can you please CONTROL YOURSELF

[making-memories9226]

Theo pics ❤️❤️❤️ Our original plan of being home by Christmas is not going to happen 💔 he isn’t tolerating trying to wean him into lower respiratory settings and he’s going to need surgery to repaid a hernia in his groin. I go into transplant on dec 30th and I’ll be in the hospital 4-6 weeks, his dr said he will *possibly* be coming home in January but it could be as long as February so there is still a chance I will be home to watch my first baby truly transition into a big brother. He hasn’t even been able to see Theo in person because they don’t allow anyone under 4 into the NICU 🙇🏼‍♀️ he can point out his baby brother in pictures though! I truly can not wait until these chapters are behind us and our family can be whole and complete and healthy.

[making-memories9226]

Josh made me a bunch of different essential oil candles for when I come home 😍😍 he's the best 😊

[petersquilll-deactivated2018092]

[chrerri]

Tell me every terrible thing you ever did and let me love you anyway.

Sylvia Plath (via inverse-pieta)

[making-memories9226]

I was allowed a 4 hour pass out of the cancer hospital today to visit my son ❤️ he's 4 days old now and still completely stable! This visit was so needed. It's nearly impossible to lay in a hospital bed every night knowing your child who should still be inside of you is across the city. Holding these photos close until our next visit becomes possible, and hoping it won't be too long before his daddy and I are able to pick him up and hold him. My baby Theoren Max 💙💙💙

[making-memories9226]

26 weeks gestation, we welcomed baby Theo into the world today 💙 a placental abruption put me into early labor and they took me to the hospital in an ambulance, realized the baby was breach, and started rushing me into the OR room for an emergency C section within half an hour of arriving at the hospital..I ended up delivering him in the hallway on the way to the OR instead, with his amniotic sac still completely in tact!

[making-memories9226]

I've been back in the hospital for a little over a week now..pneumonia. It'll probably be next Sunday or Monday before I can go home. It's been a week since I've seen Weston. I've been depressed.

My biopsy results came back..I'm exactly where they want me for transplant. Which is great, because transplant is going to save my life..also sucks because if I'm ready for transplant they want the baby out as soon as possible..so my December baby just became an October baby and he's going to be spending some time in the NICU. I can't even be a proper NICU mom. I'm getting induced, I'm having him, and I'm going to a different hospital for transplant. I can't be there for him while he needs me. I'm going to be depending on josh big time to be there and spend time with him..he'll be a month old before I even get to really bond with him.

I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I don't know how long of a NICU stay to expect for him, or if he's going to have complications from the chemo, or anything. Nobody does. We're completely in the dark. This is my second time facing cancer, but this is by far the hardest thing I will ever have to do and I'm not sure I have it in me to get through it.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[meangirlnurse]

one of my friends is a very pregnant dog and like 3 times a day i say to her “hello! you are full of several other smaller dogs!” and she wags her entire body at me like “it’s true!!! i contain multitudes”

[brehaaorgana]

i love that ur friend is the pregnant dog. what a nice friend to have.

[meangirlnurse]

ya she’s my buddy i love her!

[meangirlnurse]

update: there were five (5) smaller dogs inside my dog friend, but now they are all outside of her instead (!!) 

[jkrwkernkwerk-wlml-rmw-deactiva]

I don’t go thru ppls pictures on their phone cause I wasn’t raised in the jungle

[making-memories9226]

Thursday I'll be 24 weeks ❤️ His kicks have gotten stronger through the last round of chemo, my little fighter is doing alright in there 🤗

[hplyrikz]

You’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness.

(via hplyrikz)

[mountainmavensandmuses]

[making-memories9226]

So I’m too afraid to actually post this pic anywhere but I love it so much I feel like I don’t look sick 🤗