languish, lament, lie down

call me emily porter or saph! they/them | ⚢ | tragicomic melancholic [beautiful header by sable @knifepatron]

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[letsknightinarmour]

[kosmogrl]

am I unforgivable or is it just wednesday

[probablily]

I just love it when things are earnest like everyone get more earnest now

[machine-unlearning]

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

[thereforealiar]

[fiore-firelily]

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

[lakemojave]

"Please don't hit on anyone when we go out later you keep swearing chivalric oaths of fealty"

Me after one beer talking to a woman two inches taller than me: I could be yuor sword

[mortalityplays]

you can stay indoors all day when the sun is out, and sometimes it's nice like a cool draught from a tranquil spring, but watch out because if you stay indoors for two days in a row while the sun is out you start doing odd gothic literature things, stalking the halls and passages and muttering to yourself and parting the blinds to gaze down at your neighbours with a haunted look before turning away to contemplate your mannequins #yourmannequins. three days and you're basically fucked. you have to throw a towel over your head to scurry as far as the store for milk and people jeer at you like frankenstein's monster.

[aroace-ryland-grace]

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

[i-said-im-a-fucking-star-deacti]

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

[cryptotheism]

There should be more types of ovation. Spinning, prone, supplicating. We have barely scratched the surface of ovation techniques.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

taking my jestosterone bc i’m a fool

[rhinco]

i love you semicolon. no one look at my 80 word sentence

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[ryebreadedd]

im a protected species you fucking asshole

[motherfuckingshakespeare]

A HANDY CHART FOR THOSE OF YOU WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THESE. NOTE THAT THESE ARE ALL THE INFORMAL AND YOU IS THE FORMAL SO LIKE YOU WOULD ALWAYS ADDRESS YOUR SUPERIOR/ OLDER PERSON/ SOCIAL BETTER WITH YOU BUT WITH YOUR BUDS YOU CAN USE THESE.