i don't do bad sauce passes
ojovivo

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d e v o n
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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YOU ARE THE REASON
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Peter Solarz
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@malicious--intent
Pretty sure I just got promoted twice in less than two weeks....
So last night I guess I slept walked-ish and went into my bag to take my medication and my boyfriend was awake and said to me “Are you sure you are suppose to be taking your medicine this late?” (it was like 1am and I was in bed since 10pm)
When I woke up this morning I thought this was a dream and that I was flipping out on him saying “fuck you, you think I am a fucking drug addict, overtime I take out my medicine I have to be judged by others and now you are fucking doing it to me. Go fuck yourself.... etc etc” I felt so bad because I didn’t know if that happened or was a dream because I remembered it so vividly.
So I wake up my boyfriend in the morning and go “Heyyyyyy..... so did I flip out on you last night saying (what I said above)” and he told me that that did happen but he just asked me if I was suppose to take my medication that late and I told him yeah I take it before bed and he again asked me if I was sure (because I literally woke up from a deep sleep and went to my purse to take my medicine) and after that I got angry but no cursing or being that mean.
In conclusion to this story, he was right, yes I was not suppose to take my medicine at that time, and I might have to hide my purse at night.
stop it
Wolverine in the Kitchen
Turned 23 years old today
and I feel old.
90′s punk/goth looks from various t.v reality shows
Last night I went to see Wonder Woman and I got out of the theater feeling like damn I can do anything and kick butt boutta fight a bitch. THEN on my way back home from the movie theater I had a huge anxiety attack threw up on the street and have been in bed ever since. Kinda weird how your body can go to a full superhero form to a frail lump.
Life
I am late to work because I haven't pooped yet, but I was 40 minutes early to work yesterday so I don't feel so bad.
Really really need to find a new job. Something anything close to what I got my degree in. I can’t stay in my job anymore, they use me because I am a hard worker and will schedule me and MAYBE one other person but when I am not scheduled they will put 3 or more people on the schedule because they know I will bust my ass running around and consider me to be able to do the work of 2/3 people. But I am overworked and feel sick by the end of the day. It is just impossible to be able to be at 3 places at once and then I have to deal with customers getting angry at me because they have to wait while I am at the cash register and theres like 50 fucking cappuccino orders to be made and 20 food orders that need to be taken out but when I go and rush to make everything and give people their food the people waiting at the register are like “hello there is a line, is anyone working here” LIKE YES I AM FUCKING WORKING HERE AND I CANT FIND ANYONE ELSE IN THIS PLACE TO FUCKING HELP BECAUSE THEY ARE HIDING IN THEIR OFFICE
I have a new coworker and the 2 times that I have worked with him he has made me feel uncomfortable and has said gross shit to me. The first time he was talking about my ass when I was bending across the counter to fix the display, I brushed it off and pretended it didn't know what he was saying and my manager told him to chill. When I was clocking out he did it again but I laughed it off because it was around a group of my other coworkers and it was involving my piercing and if I had then "any where else" and ending the conversation with him asking my manager if he should show me a picture of his dick piercing (in Spanish) which my manager looked at me because he knew I knew what he said and told him no. The second time I was leaving again and he kept saying "sexy sexy you look sexy today" basically the same way I would be getting cat called on the street but inside my job. I ignored him and left but forgot my phone so when I came back he was like "what you didn't hear what I said" and I said "no I am able to block that shit out" and he said "well I said you look sexy today" and I said okay... and then he fucking says "what I don't get a thank you" after that I went off and yelled at him but obviously it didn't go thru his thick skull. But what pisses me off even more than all of that is that he doesn't fucking do his job. He just stands there when it's busy and hides and fucks around when we are cleaning up. On top of that I found out he is my managers brother.... so I don't even know what to do.
The world lost Batman today. Adam West who was 88 years old died as a result of leukemia. Helping to influence the comic world one catch phrase at a time with sidekick Robin, West channeled Batman into the hearts of kids everywhere who would grow up to revitalize the comic book world that it is today.
Holy Sadness, Batman :(
(long post, sorry)
In spite of everything I love Harley Quinn but, damn, writers treat her so badly. I swear, the temptation to make her actually stupid must be terrible because it’s so often implied, or explicitly stated, that she slept her way through school. First of all, it does not work like that. Second, she’s not a therapist or a psychologist, she’s a psychiatrist, she’s a fricking MD and a damn young one too. Managing pre-med and collegiate gymnastics that she relied on to keep her scholarship? Harley is fucked up, but she’s not the dumb blonde she plays. (also stop making her stacked, she’s a gymnast. she is 4’11” of pure muscle and is not top heavy)
If you want a good Harley backstory it’s simple. She’s ADHD but medicated and slightly robotic because of it. I want to take special care not to demonize meds but, rather, people’s disapproval of neurodivergence and a lack of focus on what is best for a patient rather than what is most convenient for others. So, maybe, around ten years old Harley is a hyperactive space cadet who’s brilliant at tests but sloppy at coursework, who would be a gymnastics prodigy if she could actually focus on technique and put in practice time instead of fooling around. Then the meds come and it’s actually really cool because she can do the things she needs to do instead of just wanting to do them, doing something else entirely, and getting in trouble. People are proud of her, she’s proud of herself. But now there are expectations. Family and teachers and coaches overschedule her, find worth only in her success and don’t care about her mental health at all as long as she’s performing and castigate her when she does fail. Fuck if you don’t internalize that. But she doesn’t look unhealthy and she’s doing amazing. She actually has to choose between the Olympic trials and continuing her grad studies. She probably has some issues with self-harm but it either doesn’t look like self-harm or is well covered up.
When Arkham accepts her, fresh from her residency, it’s not a mistake. The woman is amazing. All they can see is a mountain of achievements rather than the seething ball of nerves, self-loathing, and imposter syndrome boiling just under the surface. That’s when Joker comes in. He’s got the Hannibal Lecter shtick down. Where everyone else sees an intelligent driven young woman he sees a frightened overwhelmed girl who is working her hardest to convince the world she’s anyone other than herself. Sending her into a nervous breakdown would be too easy so he doesn’t even bother. Instead he’s open with her, almost friendly. The other doctors are amazed, Harley is amazed, she’s not done anything particularly revolutionary but, for the first time in forever, it looks like the clown prince of crime is showing progress. He unravels her and it’s a challenge, she flinches back and gets very serious when he comes too close to the real Harley under the professional. Still, soon she’s questioning everything. She doesn’t even really like her co-workers. She hasn’t had a real friend in years. She’s forgotten how to have fun. Did she ever want this to be her life or did she just do it for other people? It starts so slowly that it looks, at first, like she’s getting better at self-care. Maybe something totally silly one weekend, a trampoline park where she can enjoy the way her toned body moves without stressing out over landings, a face painting booth at a street fair, some garishly colored downright tacky decoration that clashes with her sensible apartment. Suddenly she realizes how much she hates knowing the difference between cream and ecru. The beigeness of her life is repulsive. She hates the person she’s pretending to be even more that she hates herself which is really saying something.
After her weekend of freedom she would have called in sick if it wasn’t so suddenly important to see him. The relief she feels at talking to one of Gotham’s most infamous supercriminals is disturbing but it is relief and she’s been swallowing a slow-motion panic attack for hours. She admits, though she shouldn’t, that she took his advice about doing something fun and he teases her, what would straight-laced Doctor Quinzel do for fun? Did she realphabetize her sock drawer or buy a new clipboard? It’s not important to impress him, it’s really not. He’s dangerous, cruel, and he looks so proud when she admits that she bought a lamp shaped like a lawn flamingo. The only mistake, he says, is that she should have stolen it. She hopes the wicked thrill it gives her doesn’t show on her face. It does. She almost even laughs. He likes it when he can make her laugh and she likes it when he likes things.
It’s wrong and unprofessional, the relationship she develops, and she knows it but her whole life she’s been so high strung. Nothing she’s done has been for her, she’s not sure she knows how to really do selfish things anymore, but he knows the selfish things she needs to do. It feels good when she follows his advice even when it’s small things like the rainbow striped socks she wears concealed under her very bland slacks and sensible shoes. She’s so happy, almost giddy, and he loves her happiness, he loves her, he loves the real her that she’s had to beat down and hide for so long, the her that even she isn’t able to love. She is able to love him, though, and since he loves her she’s able to love herself for him, to protect and nurture something so important to him.
When the choice comes between her old self, the tedious endless labor of making the world proud, and Him, the spectacular man that brought color into her life, it’s not even a question. She kills Doctor Harleen Quinzel, she throws away the version of her that let herself burn just for medals and hollow accolades. She embraces Harley Quinn and it’s so much a part of her nature she can’t even see that she’s still living her life for someone else’s approval, except this time that person is a murderous clown. She hasn’t let her hair down, she’s just put it in pigtails instead of a bun.
7x17 – Haleb’s engagement!