The Melodies In My Head

I'm a songwriter. These are my stories www.malmagorel.com

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Ive been away too long again. I’m sorry but I have a good excuse. Meet my new “opening act” 😉 and love of my life.

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Yesterday marked two years since I launched #malfunktion into the world. I can't believe it. Time sure flies. Some highlights from one of the best nights of my life.

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The show must go on...

Last night I had the pleasure of being the main event for my first ever house concert. What a fun experience. There's something about being so intimate with a group of people that I really enjoy. The ability to see your audience, to be able to tell them secrets about the music you've created like where the idea came from or the exact moment the song came to life. It brings a whole other element to the performance. It almost allows you to become closer with your audience which is something that isn't ever possible when you're in a large room with bright lights shining in your face. Those performances are pretty great too don't get me wrong but there is something about the intimacy that goes along with a show like this, it means a lot more.

My usual piano partner-in-crime accidentally double booked himself and could no longer do the show with me. Luckily I was able to find another incredible player. We hadn't worked together for a number of years but all things considered the evening went well. Of course there were a couple songs that did not go as they should've but that's why I titled this blog the way I did; the show must go on. It did and I'm so glad.

Since I'm me I did beat myself up over it a bit. I like ensuring everything is perfect even though that phrase goes against the very idea of live music; it wouldn't be live if things didn't change or become a little different every now and then. The perfectionism in me is both a blessing and a curse sometimes.

The moral of the story is i am happy i was able to play my originals with another player because now I know I can hire him in the future when my usual go to is unavailable. I'm grateful I got to make this event work after multiple attempts at finding a mutual date over the last year and a bit. I am grateful to the organizers of the concert because I am so happy to know there are people like them out there who embrace local music and give artists the opportunity to play our music and perform.

Xoxoxox.

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I’ve been away awhile....

To say this blog is long overdue is an understatement.  I don’t really have an excuse; life got in the way?  There aren’t enough minutes in the day? Laziness? Regardless I felt it was time to update you all on how I’ve been doing as I feel like I’m at a bit of a crossroads.

I’m pregnant.  My husband and I are expecting our little one  to arrive at the end of December.  This is both wonderful and terrifying.  Terrifying because I really, REALLY don’t know what to do with a baby and because it puts my music career in a box on a shelf for a little while but wonderful because we have extended our family and created an extension of ourselves that we can’t wait to meet.  I’m wrapping up a lot of my regular gigging tonight and I’m a bit sad.  Although the venue says I’ll always have a home there one can never be too sure.

The pressure to remain “relevant” even when you’re not “famous” is a lot to deal with. I’m afraid of taking a pause because I’m afraid of no longer being on the forefront of people’s minds and the live music scene in my city not to mention I’m leaving space for the next version of myself to come up in the ranks.  At the same time, I need to know my limits and know it’s for the best to take a pause for the next few months. 

I’m also in a position musically where things need to change. I need to jump in to new opportunities (some of which have already presented themselves), decide what I want going forward (is it time for album number 2? Is this part of a specific existing project I want to get in on?) or try to salvage a project I’ve spent years developing (even though i’m concerned I’ll never find the same kind of chemistry I had with my last partner)... there are a lot of questions I need to answer and a lot of unknowns which is both in itself exciting and stressful.

A lot of things have happened over the last few months (apart from baby).  I mentioned the loss of my music partner - that was a blow. However I know he isn’t well and cannot continue doing music. He needs to focus on himself and I’d be a hypocrite forcing him to continue when he’s just not well.  Plus after someone screws you over the way he did (after years of providing unwavering support and opportunities), you’re almost relieved it’s over.  I know I was tired of caring more about something than him.  I know that I was sick of doing all the bookings, all the marketing, all the everything and being partners with someone whose mood could change on a dime.  At the end of the day, this is my brand and I can just as easily continue things with minimal bumps in the road on my own.  It would be a lot easier though if I didn’t care about him so much and feel a sense of heartbreak from what ended up happening.  I guess that might be a story for another blog...or not.

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My duo, Acoustic Soul has been nominated for best local entertainer for the 2nd annual #winnipegnightlifeawards. I am so pumped. If you want to vote, click the link above. As always, I am supremely grateful for your support! Xoxox Mal

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Every time I watch the news...

I get sad. It's really quite terrible. I have thought of discontinuing my news watching habits but then I think to myself, "I'm ignorant if i don't keep up with world events. If I pretend they aren't there". It saddens me how the US election turned out. It also scares me. Hitler didn't start by gassing 6 million people. He started with hateful rhetoric, much like a certain orange headed orangutan who won the US presidential election a month ago. I don't want to utter the phrase "history repeating itself" because that scares me the most but I can't deny that it hasn't crossed my mind. I know I wasn't the only one who felt physically ill when Hillary lost that night. And I'm Canadian. I can't imagine what 53 million Americans were thinking that night. My thoughts are with you. We need to pull together. And as Andra Day so eloquently puts it, "rise up". I also have an extra bedroom my American friends. In case. 😉

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Official video is finally done and has been released - I hope you enjoy watching it as much as I enjoyed creating it.  Huge shout out to #Thinktankmusicandmedia and everyone else involved in bringing this dream to life! 

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Highlights of my journey from album release day to album release party! Top left: the show ticket. Top right: my biggest fan picking up his ticket/cd. ❤️️ Next: the Facebook event page, some social media love. My friend cruising around to my album in her car, the link to the online album. My other biggest fans excited for their daughter. I’m on sale at HMV. The album release poster. The big night (photography: Joey Senft)

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Happy anniversary...

Happy anniversary Malfunktion album release party.

I can’t believe it’s been a year.

One year ago I stood on stage in front of 100+ of my family, friends and supporters and put on the show of a lifetime. I released my album on a stage where some incredible artists stood before me to bring their music to life. I celebrated 3 long years of blood, sweat and tears (a lot of tears) and immersed myself in the feeling of my music.

Everything is still so vivid, it really feels like it happened yesterday. Time flies.

I’m the spirit of reliving my moment, here is the closing number, the single, the album title and title track, Malfunktion.

https://youtu.be/K-tcgLDe2wc

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Highlights from the #Malfunktion video shoot. Top left: myself, Calla and Mark (he's the videographer and he's extraordinary). Top right: that's a wrap for my extras. It's a plus that they are some of my favorite people ever. Center: me and my actress Calla who played an eerily similar version of young me. Seriously, it freaked out my mom. Bottom left: how sick is this street art??? You won't forget my name baby! Bottom center: my other adorable costar, Meadow aka cutieface and bottom right: makeup did and hair did. Sheena (pictured) took care of my locks. Makeup - @chaerrenae

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Oops I did it again....

“I played with your heart, got lost in the game...oh baby, baby”...

Just Kidding. But I am guilty of not visiting my beautiful blog for a few months.  I’ve had a hell of a summer.  

In a good way - I gigged all the time; I literally didn’t have time (I’M SORRY).  

I do have some news! A few weeks ago, I shot a music video for Malfunktion and I am so, so, SO excited to share it with you!

It isn’t my first music video, but it is my first video for my album and that is awesome!  Someone said to me the other day that to be able to cross things off the preverbal bucket list at my age is a pretty amazing feet.  I agree!  Everyone go and shoot music videos!!!! 

I’ll post some candid photos of the shoot day in a bit.  

Now that my life has slowed down a bit I swear I’ll make this blog a priority.  In fact, in the spirit of #throwbackThursday, check out the video I did last year with my other band, Vesely Couture.  The song, Be You, is probably my favourite on that album (it’s called Love What Is and it’s available now on ITUNES ;)); it’s about the need to wipe away all the bullshit and just be. Be the person you are inside and forget about whatever you put forward for the world to see...just be. Be you ;) 

xoxoxox Mal

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I lied.

I promised everyone out in blog land that I wouldn't let months go by between blog entries. But now here we are, months later. Sorry guys. It's been a busy few months. I did want to take a few minute to tell you a story though. Once upon a time a girl decided she wanted to start a band. She was a good singer and had been singing for a while but didn't know the first thing about fronting a band. She was "green" as the industry folks would say. After several months of putting a show together the girl and her band hit the circuit. As the gigs progressed it was evident and the singer and her guitar player did not and likely would not ever get along. He would talk over her, try to run the show, play his wireless guitar in the crowd when the song being played was one that should've highlighted the singer. They'd have spats on stage. It became embarrassing, especially for the "green" singer who was trying to get a handle on fronting a band. After a few months the guitarist quit. As the singer got over the initial shock and realized she could move on from there, the guitarist convinced the bassist to jump ship and shortly after a new band was formed. One with a new singer. The green singer was left in the dust feeling betrayed and hurt. To top things off, the guitarist told that singer she was the weak link, she's the reason why the band wasn't playing the bigger clubs and larger rooms and she just wasn't good enough. When someone is just starting, out those words really sting. Although that singer moved on to other bands, bigger opportunities and continued to build her reputation of a singer "not to be messed with," those words stayed with her. For years and years and years. Last week that singer had the opportunity to play the biggest and most popular club in winnipeg. The one she was too weak and not good enough to play. That guitarist was playing in a small scale beverage room just down the street from his old singer. He may not have known and if he did, he may not have even realized the singer was there. But after those stinging words, you better believe that singer relished every step, every breath, every note sung and every move danced she made in that place. That singer was given the opportunity to prove to herself that she is good enough, talented enough and enough of a performer to play that room and do well in it. She is no longer green. She's golden.

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Music N Mavens

Hi Bloggerland!

I apologize for being a bit MIA as of late - I just finished up a big show today so I thought I’d pop in and say hello!

The show was great - my own show...as part of the RADY JCC Music N Mavens series.  It’s amazing how quickly time flies when you’re doing what you love; my hour show felt like 10 minutes. 

What an amazing feeling being able to put my own show together of mostly my own music, I can’t even put it into words... I can perform my own songs, so great!

I look forward to the next one.... I EVEN sold 5 CDs...considering no one really listens to CDs anymore I feel like 5 is a solid number (lol). 

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Ick.

I have been sick with something for the last 6 weeks.   I am not a happy camper.

It started with a cold... then the stomach flu for a couple days.  Then another cold. Now? I’m coughing (this I blame on my husband).  But it couldn’t come at a more inopportune time.  I have 5 shows in the next two and a half weeks, one of which I’ve been prepping for for the last year and a half...ugh, it’s like my body knows...”she’s got gigs come, quick give her a virus”

I think it might be time to go to the doctor.

Wednesday rant over.

On the bright side, I have a Manitoba Music workshop later that I’m looking forward to... there is always more to learn when you’re a musician.

Peace out

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....

      I decided the other night to stop sitting on my music and to start submitting it to online blogs, magazines, etc...  I stumbled across this blog post done on a fellow Manitoba band, #yes we mystic, and started to explore the blog itself.  When I clicked on “submit music,” It took me to “submit hub”, a general submission site for a number of different music blogs.  

     You purchase some credits ($1.00US = 1 song submission to one blog) and you’ll get responses within 48 hours as to whether the blogs you chose want to feature your music or not. They’ll eve give you some feedback. 

     So, taking a chance, I purchased 10 credits in order to submit my single, Malfunktion, to 10 different music blogs.  I have received nine responses so far, and to my surprise, one blog wants to write about my music so a big YAY to that. 

     The other 8....were declines. Some of the feedback was fairly generic; “we have enough of this genre on our blog right now”, “just not the genre we gravitate towards”.... some were really helpful providing suggestions to improve and the kind of music to send in the future.  Then there were a few that were not so helpful and not so nice. 

     I know what you're going to say; you can’t please everyone, people’s tastes differ, not EVERYONE likes Taylor Swift, even she has haters. Yeah, she said it best, “haters gonna hate.......hate,hate,hate,hate”. But man is it hard to put yourself out there.  Someone told me the song was good but my voice was “a bit too jarring” Jarring, by definition means “harsh and unpleasant” Ouch.  That’s a first. It definitely knocked me down a few pegs. 

     I suppose that’s what criticism is supposed to do; ground you? Make you realize that not EVERYONE is going to love you? It’s not realistic to assume that you’re going to make a fan out of everyone you meet or everyone who hears you sing or sees you perform. Maybe only one person will love you and your music, which in the case of the blog experiment, happened.  I am grateful for that one blogger who hit accept. That one blogger who listened to my song and thought, “yeah, I’ll write about this on my blog”. That’s what matters.  As an artist you really have to work hard to not let the negative affect you because it’s going to find you, everywhere. As cliche as this is, it’s just best to believe in yourself because no one is going to do it for you.

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This news makes me sick. Let her be free to make music with people who don’t abuse her physically, sexually and emotionally. Way to go justice system. A+ fail.

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Thursday.

This has been the longest week.    First full week back at work in a long while which is probably why time feels like it’s moving like snails.  Can’t it just be the weekend already? 

I’m itching to start writing again.  I have so many song baby ideas brewing up in this brain of mine but I just can’t seem to get them out.  Or, have enough time to sit down and let them come out...whichever.  I am also dragging my heels when it comes to radio promotion for the album... I don’t know why, I just don’t have the motivation.  I need it to come back again, the album isn’t going to play itself.