the beginning
To set the scene, I was 16 years old. My parents had let me go to the carnival with friends on a Saturday night. I felt an air of abnormality; my parents didn't seem too concerned about who I was going with or if parents were going to be there. The friends I had at the time were older and it felt really cool to be hanging out with them without having my parents to worry about. I even remember calling my mom, letting her know I wouldn't be home until almost midnight and she said that it was fine and to have fun. I didn't think much of it at the time. When I got home, both my parents were still up. My sister was sleeping, but it was odd to see both of my parents still up. I said goodnight and went straight to bed because I was tired. In the morning when I woke up, everyone was awake. They were huddled in the living room waiting for me. I started to do what I normally do in the morning, which at time consisted of checking my tumblr. My mom came in my room and told me to come into the living room for a family meeting. We never really had family meetings before. Previous family meetings included mom and dad trying to enforce a chore schdeule on us, which never worked because mom didn't want to force us to do chores and my dad thought it was basic duty for children in the household to help with chores. So here we are sitting in the living room, I was a little urked that this meeting was interrupting my morning ritual of checking what I missed overnight on tumblr, but whatever. My mom started with, "There's something your father and I want to talk to you about. We had a long talk last night about it and we want to you to know that we love you very much and you will always be our number one priority. But, your father and I are getting divorced- Sharp pain shot me where my heart used to be. I felt it physically drop to the depths of my stomach, lucky it was empty or else I would have hurled to make room for it. I crouched my shoulders down to keep my chest together. I sank into myself. Thoughts of every fight my parents had and not thinking much of it because what did she tell me after they were over? "Don't worry, your father and I would never get divorced." "You know I love your father, I would never leave him." I was frozen. The rest of what they had to say blurred by. I couldn't hear it. All I heard was a lie that was repeated to me. A lie that made me feel the way I was feeling. I felt so stupid for believing you. I felt betrayed by the closest person to me. I spent the rest of the day in my room, playing music loud enough to drown my own thoughts. The next morning was a school day. You expected us to go to school. I physically could not. I told you that I didn't feel well. You made us go anyway. Fifteen minutes into my first class, I ran out crying.