#childofdivorce

[awbats]

[strengththroughmysavior]

I’m tired of...

the yelling the fighting  the relationship strains the tear stained cheeks  the feeling of rejection  the feeling of unwanted  the feeling that maybe if I wasn’t born this wouldn’t have happened  the anger that rots my bones every time you talk over me  the trying to figure out if you love me or not  the ownership over brokenness that was never my fault the way I assume everyone is a liar, just like you  the secrets a child should never know  the feeling like a bargaining chip between my parents  the falling through the cracks that happens when mom is too busy trying to get dad back...  the flinching anytime someone gets in a fight  the worry that no matter how hard I love it just won’t be enough  the way you use me as your spouse  the going in between  the trips to two houses  the widespread division that will forever separate family  the overwhelming selfishness  the denial of my needs the one day it will get better bullshit people tell me  the looks on other peoples faces when I say my parents are divorced the apologies that shortly follow....  the infuriating reality that even when the divorce is final, my pain won’t be  the way every holiday, birthday, life event will cause an irreplaceable nervousness in my soul  the way I wish I had a dad  the way I wish I had a mom  like all my friends 

[godcheckslikes]

jan 3 / 22

Today I broke up with my boyfriend of a year. We just celebrated Christmas, his birthday, and New Years together, but now it’s all over.

I had to hold back tears at work, and my voice shook every time I spoke today. We’ve had fights before but I told myself that if this same issue were to come up again, I’d just leave. It did come up again, and after sleeping on it a couple nights, I decided to let him know that I was finished.

I’ve only really broken up with someone once before. Most of my relationships are flings that I either ghost or friendzone, but this time was different. And just because I was the one to end it, doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

Once the conversation ended I immediately was hit with regret. I knew this meant the end of the good morning texts, the end of junk food and Netflix binges, and the end of waking up wrapped in someone’s arms. Even in this moment, on my commute home from work he would be texting me. I keep looking at my phone to see if there’s a message from him. It’s the end of that security, at least for a while, but the thought of getting to know someone on that level yet again is too painful to think about right now.

I think the worst part is that I know I did it because I’m insecure. I shouldn’t be threatened by the videos of girls he likes on Tik Tok, and I probably could have shaken off the texts with his ex-girlfriend. But I’m too scared of being hurt any further that this seemed like a good time to bow out.

I wish things were different. I wish I hadn’t let myself get buried so deeply by other relationships that little things get blown out of proportion. I wish I hadn’t lost a best-friend in a break-up that has made me isolate myself more. I wish I listened to people when they tell me who they are.

Part of me wishes I didn’t grow up in this generation with all the access to information, including your partners, and seeing the paper trail of evidence so easily. But the other part of me is grateful I do have this technology, because things could go on forever behind my back when I’d rather know the truth. It’s so hard to navigate relationships that I just feel like I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life than have to worry about secrets.

Break ups for me have always felt so detrimental. It was like my life was falling apart and it felt like I’d my first binever be able to put it back together. Of all my long-term relationships, I only told my mom about 3, but I cried every damn time things ended. I wonder if this has something to do with growing up in a family of divorce. I had always been searching for stability and security, and that’s what my relationships provided for me. Breaking up with someone or being dumped brings back feelings that I’m not sure I can even put into words. Abandonment? Giving up? I know that it’s the reason I stay in unhealthy relationships longer than I know I should. I never want to go through the dividing of assets or custody battles, even if it’s just over a joint Netflix account. It just kills me.

Anyways, I’m probably going to go back to dating sugar daddies for a while. I’ll get some fancy dinners, stay at some luxury hotels, and do some retail therapy to distract myself.

[christenallyssa]

Who do I look like more?? My Mom or my dad?? 🧐🧐🤔🤔. This is my first photo with both of my parents together. Being a child of divorced parents is not easy. My parents don’t hate each other (Well at least now they don’t). They are actually starting to form sort of a friendship again. Learning how to separate how you feel from what’s best for the child takes time. As an adult, I understand that now. The fact they can come together for life events (on this day they attended my gender reveal Dr appt) speaks of Growth and their great love for me. I will forever cherish these moments. I used to hope and pray they would get back together but as a grow up let go of fairytales I see somethings are better left separated. #childofdivorce #healing #growth #blackparents #cometogether #coparenting #coparentingdoneright #pregnant https://www.instagram.com/p/B7Tuj15Bipw/?igshid=5t2ofm4blzpx

[measuringlife]

I appreciated seeing this on my feed today and I hope you do too. . The holidays lost their magic a long long time ago. It’s more a season of trauma, stress, and comparison. I try to largely ignore it. I’m only here for the fresh balsam candles, twinkle lights, and nostalgic movies! . #aca #adultchildrenofalcoholics #adultchildrenofnarcissists #childofdivorce #brokenhome https://www.instagram.com/p/B6RtnvlBvhN/?igshid=ii7tw5dk3y9r

[mamawithdepression-blog]

the beginning

To set the scene, I was 16 years old. My parents had let me go to the carnival with friends on a Saturday night. I felt an air of abnormality; my parents didn't seem too concerned about who I was going with or if parents were going to be there. The friends I had at the time were older and it felt really cool to be hanging out with them without having my parents to worry about. I even remember calling my mom, letting her know I wouldn't be home until almost midnight and she said that it was fine and to have fun. I didn't think much of it at the time. When I got home, both my parents were still up. My sister was sleeping, but it was odd to see both of my parents still up. I said goodnight and went straight to bed because I was tired. In the morning when I woke up, everyone was awake. They were huddled in the living room waiting for me. I started to do what I normally do in the morning, which at time consisted of checking my tumblr. My mom came in my room and told me to come into the living room for a family meeting. We never really had family meetings before. Previous family meetings included mom and dad trying to enforce a chore schdeule on us, which never worked because mom didn't want to force us to do chores and my dad thought it was basic duty for children in the household to help with chores. So here we are sitting in the living room, I was a little urked that this meeting was interrupting my morning ritual of checking what I missed overnight on tumblr, but whatever. My mom started with, "There's something your father and I want to talk to you about. We had a long talk last night about it and we want to you to know that we love you very much and you will always be our number one priority. But, your father and I are getting divorced- Sharp pain shot me where my heart used to be. I felt it physically drop to the depths of my stomach, lucky it was empty or else I would have hurled to make room for it. I crouched my shoulders down to keep my chest together. I sank into myself. Thoughts of every fight my parents had and not thinking much of it because what did she tell me after they were over? "Don't worry, your father and I would never get divorced." "You know I love your father, I would never leave him." I was frozen. The rest of what they had to say blurred by. I couldn't hear it. All I heard was a lie that was repeated to me. A lie that made me feel the way I was feeling. I felt so stupid for believing you. I felt betrayed by the closest person to me. I spent the rest of the day in my room, playing music loud enough to drown my own thoughts. The next morning was a school day. You expected us to go to school. I physically could not. I told you that I didn't feel well. You made us go anyway. Fifteen minutes into my first class, I ran out crying.

[thesociocriminologist-blog]

A Heart to Heart with Men Fathers Rights

[farmingdalemacaronikid]

Everyday I am thankful for this man. He is my strength, my voice of reasoning, and my best friend. He has taught me what marriage can be and gave me three of the best gifts in life, our kids.#mkmaycontest #polaroid #marriage #childofdivorce #family #weweresoyoung