north of neverland @mamimonet - Tumblr Blog

Anonymous: Did you ever go back to the Salt and Pepper diner?

at my show he told us about this!! and then he also said that he got arrested with the same friends he went to the salt and pepper diner with and they were all named john and the police officer had them all lined up on his car and he asked the first guys name and he said john and then he asked john mulaney and he said john and then the officer said “if you say your name is john youre all going to jail” and then he said his name is john and the officer lost his shit

solaurorae

#did you even try

theproblematicblogger

mycaell

SCAMMED LMAOOOOOO

calebmp3

loremerchant

Objection, your honor. There has been no scam. The defendant clearly stated that they would tell the plaintiff’s girlfriend if the plaintiff bought the defendant a pizza. It was the failure of the plaintiff to heed the terms before agreeing to them that resulted in his infidelity being exposed.

dingdongyouarewrong

i still have some girls who were mean to me in middle school on facebook and it turns out they’ve been reduced to selling arbonne and itworks. every day i watch their increasingly desperate facebook statuses encouraging their friends to buy wraps and shakes and my schadenfreude increases

lassoway

hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine

thegoodjanet-deactive

john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink

aro-as-in-straight-as-a

John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?

Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that

stillisee

I don’t even go here (just like… my toes) and I want this, specifically with all these tages from @bosstoaster

#The episode would be Amy getting jealous not of John and Jake but that he has so many interests in common with Holt#So she spends the whole time trying to win back the Captain#Meanwhile Rosa is on a warpath at Jake#Because she told HIM about her sexuality and stuff and had EMOTIONS#And he didn’t tell HER#How DARE he

hollowboobtheory

“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!”

“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“

the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!”

everybody else is like “charles no”

at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for

ellenripleysbelieveitornot

But he gets away by throwing a silver money clip with a fifty dollar bill in it in the gutter

mllesouthernbelle

This post got so much better

lahvn

Is it just me or was this year like … Really fucking overwhelming? Like everything’s that’s happened to you this year has shaped you into a completely different person that you were at the beginning of this year