youre telling me an egg fried this rice

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[sushi-oh-verygood]

[janime6]

[hauntingyourself]

You just hate me because the patterns on my clothes move around like they do on chowder and yours don’t

[subspaceskater]

dusk

[manleytea]

 Normal non-obsessive teenage girls

[theonion]

Adopting a tougher stance against the increasingly widespread form of workplace corruption, U.S. Department of Labor officials announced plans Thursday to crack down on people getting paid for their work. “For far too long, the practice of receiving money for services has gone unchecked, and today we’re turning over evidence to the attorney general so that individuals complicit in such activities can be prosecuted,” said acting Labor Secretary Keith Sonderling, noting that Americans found guilty of accepting paychecks, healthcare benefits, retirement fund contributions, or other financial compensation from their employers could face up to 40 years in federal prison.

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[dankxsinatra]

American naturalization test

[beechimera]

The End of Evangelion if Pjackk died on the cross instead of Jesus

[inkskinned]

i don't really have the words for it but i'd come home from school and watch my mom sort our mail - junk, junk, junk, bills, junk. it used to pile up on our counter; day after day. i remember how much of it went right into the recycling bin.

email was huge when it really started being available to us all. i know that's wild to say to someone who was raised after AOL but "checking your email" used to be a big deal. i now have 2,521 unread messages; and that's after a deep clean last january. most of it is just spam. it just sits in my inbox, unanswered and unopened - draining whatever arbitrary amount of digital space i have in this world.

i don't check my voicemail, it's usually a scammer. i don't check my instagram notifications either - half of them are someone trying to sell me something from a pyramid scheme. the other half are bots. a girl recently held my phone for a fraction of a second and almost passed out - how do you have 356 unopened texts? i shrugged about it. how many of those were just the average i have a job opening for you scam-type shit.

discord now forces an ad when i open it. youtube forced me to uninstall my adblocker (yes i switched to firefox). i hate "smart" versions of things; but you can't always escape them. why is my own computer pushing me advertisements for things? why is my TV trying to get me to download a gambling game? why do i need to see an ad to fucking access my fridge?

i block, unsubscribe, avoid. i cannot tell you how many times i have entered [email protected] as my email so i can view one particular recipe on one particular blog. i cannot tell you how many times i reply "STOP", i refuse to give my number - i am a master at this infinite dodge. and still. still!

it's just... clutter. it isn't sitting in my brain, glistening. it's just noise.

for a long time i used to open and read a newsletter from a community center down the street - it used to have fun tips, announcements. cute things. recently they must have gotten a new copywriter. it's all just - while you're here, have you thought about purchasing?

yesterday i went out to collect the mail; most of which will end up in the recycling. a single piece blew out of my hands; i had to chase it down the street. i still have no idea what it was even for. it means genuinely nothing to me.

[assdare]

[bbbutterfingers]

any part of you I can claim

[foone]

2008, and I'm getting ready for my government job fresh out of college. There's a suddenly bright light as a tear in space appears, and a bright haired female version of myself steps through it.

"Foone! I have an important message, from your future self!"

"oh wow, is it that I'm a girl and need to transition immediately?"

"no, you'll figure that out yourself. This is more important"

She steps closer and takes my face into her hands.

"never read homestuck for a boy you have a crush on. Farewell!"

There's another flash and a momentary smell of ozone, and I'm alone in my apartment again, more confused than ever.

[fellator]

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

[yonkou]

[yamada-ryo]

vavr having a beiber penis moment is a throwback to earlier this year when icesnort had a moon child moment

[ouroborosorder]

[garlickedbreadx3]

Forgot to post but instead of doing homework or anything productive I drew this:

It was just a quick sketch with no real effort put into it (for the funni)

Might update it later but for now this is it

[ouroborosorder]

please appreciate my favorite gbc tweet of all time