First love dies
I remember the time when you asked me out. Even today, it was still one of the rarest and happiest moments in life.
After more than five years since we last saw each other, you finally asked me out. Man, I always dream it would happen, until it finally came to life! Many things have happened on our separate lives: people come and go, college life and college degrees, love interests and heartbreaks, career paths and professions. We both changed and went on on our separate ways, grow on separate ways. We let our dreams led us to where we were that time.
Then suddenly, out of the blue -- like a ray of light from a distant tower in a dark dark night, there you were shedding hope to my hopeless-romantic heart.
I was dropped dead in love over you. Infatuated with you since High School. Why wouldn’t I? You were a dream boat I want to be on board. You were my dream boy. Man, you’re not just a Math hero, or some mad music man, but you’re one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. You’re a Rock Star! And you’re tall! Those were the things attracts me to you when we were once young. Everyone knew. But I was invisible to you.
You asked me out two years ago. I didn’t expect that. Not in a million dreams I think it would happen. But it did happen! At that time I have forgotten you already. No more flashes of your faces whenever I close my eyes. I wasn’t thinking of you anymore, nor cared about you anymore. But there you were there, asking me for a date.
That night I was nervous, terrified even!
I remember I was having trouble breathing and had second thoughts. “Should I come?” “Is this really is it” “What am I doing?” “What’s going to happen after this?” “Why is this happening” I was trembling that night. I don’t know what to do nor to feel when I see you.
Then, I saw you that night. You were late, terribly late. I hate it. You were the same person I once liked. We talked about what happened in each other’s life. We we’re kids, now we’re adults -- living an adult life. I was talking about how life has been a struggle, but still had given me the challenges I want head on. You were talking about the miseries, and heartbreaks, and nothing more. I was excited to see you but I didn’t expect you were there asking for comfort and refuge. The conversations that we had were not about us; it was about other people.
That night I was sure that I don’t want you to re-enter in my life. I was sure about myself, it was you that I wasn’t sure of.
You just know it when a person is worth the try or not! And man, you were not! It’s funny when I finally had a chance on you -- considering how crazy I was over you back then, suddenly I knew what I wanted in life and It’s not you anymore. Maybe I never was nor never will love you.
I hurt you after that night; cut your spirit, drain your hope, put salt on your open wound and let it bleed.
I ditched you, ignored your calls. I was being a brat or b*tch for that matter. I needed an explanation why you, out-of-the-blue wants to reconnect with me. I didn’t understand that part. Never will. I thought everything about you was blurry. I deserved better than that, you deserved someone better than me. That, I am so sure of, solid as rock! I am not a High School girl anymore. I know what I want now. I guess, I never gave a chance to let it grow.
I moved on. You moved on after that. Two years after that night you do now have a girlfriend. I am absolutely, hand in my heart happy for you! And I was right in the first place, when I said you don’t need me and I don’t need you. We weren’t gonna work out, I knew that the moment I saw you again. I guess, everything works out in the end. Glad I followed my guts.
