manlywamen

*sparkles*

[manlywamen]

suicide is self determination

[manlywamen]

I need to protect myself but whenever tomorrow comes, I give people chances, I smile the same way as if the pledge I made to myself had no value. Why do I back out. I still have hope. Hope is supposed to give me strength but why is it always so gut wrenching.

[manlywamen]

i hate my prof.

[perfeqt]

“Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your head already knows.”

— Unknown

[manlywamen]

that's what you're trying to do. stop feeling hurt about it. detach while you have time. So you can prepare for inevitable heartbreak. Stop caring stop caring you don't deserve him

[manlywamen]

I've spent my whole life desperate to bloom, to make people glance at me although it's pointless. By the grace of the Gods, if they give me the tiniest amount of warmth, I'd wear the stupidest smile and thank them for the halfhearted embrace after years of bitter coldness. Even the ones laced with malice— the ones that offer a piece of bread as they sink their teeth into my neck and drain me completely— I'd devour that bread like a starving dog. I have hugged those inside my home that violated me all these years. What could possibly go wrong?

And it didn't matter if it's the barest minimum. It didn't matter whether the love was pure or not. I'd feel guilty for lapping up the tiniest amount of love, like I've stolen something obviously not meant for me. As if the "love" from all the violence I've been through is the only love I deserve.

"I have felt permanently guilty for no reason since I was 8 years old"

As if wanting to be loved is a sin.

-

I used the phrase I saw on IG reels as a writing prompt.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-h5vajSzCm/?igsh=MW9zNGh5YzlrM2Nmag==

[grackleclaw]

the human body is an engineering marvel. I sneeze in bright light. if I dont get enough sunlight on my skin I get tired and sad and have to drink a lot of milk to fix it. standing too much hurts, but sitting too much also hurts. if I get a virus, my body will increase its temperature in an attempt to cook it, which also cooks my brain cells. toenails exist. I have to turn the radio down to see better when I drive. there are 17 genes dictating what my hair texture is, but it completely changes when the air is too humid. yawning is contagious. there are more species of bacteria living in my body than there are species of birds in the entire world. every few months I grievously injure my neck by "sleeping on it weird." it took seven million years of human evolution to form me, and now I'm afraid of phone calls.

[manlywamen]

someone told me

that I am unworthy

I swallowed it like glass shards

and I stabbed myself more

as if pain was a part of me.

[inked-fervor]

I went to church when I haven't for a very long time. I watched how the elders kneel and pray whispering, asking for mercy to where God supposedly laid. They sang songs of worship with their dull quivering voices, praising God, imagining what heaven is like. Their clammy hands and old bodies half buried under the earth. Their sand bottle emptying bit by bit as they wish for peace with the few days they have left. I used to think it was foolish, to lean on faith or spirituality. But it was just denial. Pretentious strength to cover up weakness. It isn't foolish as I thought it was. Seeking peace is never foolish. It is I, who is weak for throwing punches to someone who only wants tranquility of their own. Cause I couldn't find my own.

[manlywamen]

For the longest time, I have dreamed of meeting eyes that wouldn’t trail off as I spoke of tragedy or trivial heartache. I have dreamed about ears that would digest every bit of bad luck my tongue could ever spell out. Every night, I twist and turn yearning for someone who will tell me to take deep breaths whenever I drown myself with incoherent emotions. Though, I know these are just foolish fantasies, when they say that in this vast world, there are people who care. Even if it’s only few. Or maybe just one. Because truth be told, I stab myself even before I could know who’s deaf and who heeds. Cut the stems before any deep ties could flower. And now, I deceive myself each night, dreaming of what could’ve been.

[perfectfeelings]

If someone was to write a story about my life, the climax would be when I met you.

(via perfectfeelings)

[inked-fervor]

It’s kind of unsettling that I have someone as good as you to hold my hand. Like a dream that was once beyond reach had magically emerged within my grasp. I’ve always wondered about the things I did to be worthy of you. To be loved by a person way out of my league. To be cherished with tenderness I craved for so long. To be cared for in a way I never thought I deserve. And it scares me. Afraid that my feeble offerings may not suffice.  And of how terrifying it would be to be left alone after feeling your touch.

[immaplatypus]

g…gritty did what now…

[immaplatypus]

i thought i was prepared before clicking this link but i wasn’t in the slightest

[immaplatypus]

please forget how to speak

[weltenwellen]

Self-sabotaging behavior is not a lack of talent or skill; it is an internal struggle within you. You clearly want to do something, but your internal messages say you cannot or should not.

Karyl McBride, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers (via weltenwellen)

[meineluft]

Don’t stop believing. Hold on to the feeling.

Journey, Don’t Stop Believin (via meineluft)

[thoughtkick]

In my memory, it doesn’t end. We just stay there, looking at each other, forever.

John Green; Paper Towns (via thoughtkick)

[systlin]

If you want to have children in the future, you can’t get vaccinated for COVID.

This vaccine has the ability to render afab infertile as it targets a protein for the placenta formation.

Just thought that you would want to know, since you want children.

This is literally not true spending half a second on google will show you about 150 sites including the CDC saying this is just some antivax bullshit people are spreading oh my god spend half a second looking shit up before you fearmonger like this

[systlin]

Like I’m honestly kinda insulted that you apparently thought I’d read this and go “OH NO THE ANON MESSAGE ON TUMBLR MUST BE RIGHT OH NO” and not spend three minutes to fact check this.

[thebibliosphere]

Shit, I can’t even get a doctor to sterilize me despite asking for it. Y’all really thing they’re doing it through vaccines?

[biokitty]

NAME THE PROTEIN BRO.

Which placental protein does it target? Tell me the specific one and how it leads to sterilization. I want the physiologic mechanism, the enzymes involved, and the specific pathology that renders a person completely sterilized. When does it affect the placenta in pregnancy? Do you even know when the placenta is fully developed in pregnancy? How about when this magical protein you’re talking about exists? Is it a protein used to create the trophoblast? Or is it an integral component of the syncitiotrophoblast’s expansion into the spiral arteries? Or does it come later when the pregnancy is no longer supported by the corpus luteum?

I’ll wait. 

Oh right. That’s not a thing.

The Pfizer vaccine is an mRNA strand that codes for the spike protein on the covid 19 virus. The spike protein is what allows the virus to fuse to the cell membrane and inject itself into the cell to begin production of copies of itself. The spike protein has nothing to do with the placenta and further more the vaccine doesn’t “target” anything. It codes for a specific protein for which your body will produce antigens against so the virus cannot enter your cells and cause damage.