[theunfortunate-author]

my daily affirmation as an author

[nobodyfamousposts]

So here’s a thought: the strangest reverse kidnapping the Waynes have ever experienced.

So Tim gets kidnapped. 

Makes sense. He is the CEO of Wayne industries. Of of the most notable Wayne children. His kidnapping is really no surprise. He gets kidnapped every other month.

But usually the kidnappers tie him up.

And take his phone.

And his laptop.

And lock the door.

And make it so he can’t just…y’know…leave.

And they especially don’t give him a very nice desk set up where he can continue his work unimpeded.

Bruce is confused.

Tim is confused and intrigued.

The kidnappers are by no means special. They aren’t any sort of costumed crook. They have no magic or powers. They are absolutely normal people.

Normal but smart people.

“Mr. Wayne, we have your son.”

“Which one?“

“The one who runs your business.“

“I see.”

“We want $10 million for his release.”

“I think you’ll find that Tim has already been subjected to multitude of kidnapping in the past. I am not concerned.”

“Oh, this one’s different.” The head kidnapper responded.

“It is different so far. I’m not tied to a chair and there’s no lock on the door. What’s to stop me from leaving?” Tim asks, bemused and gesturing to the aforementioned unlocked door with his again unbound hands.

“Because we have coffee.“ The kidnapper replies, gesturing to a rather fancy coffee setup with a freshly brewing French roast.

Tim immediately perks up.

“And for every hour that our demands are not met, we will give him a fresh pot of coffee with an increasing grade of caffeine.”

Ten seconds pass.

There is a “ding” from the kidnapper’s cellphone as the notification of the payment goes through.

The kidnappers blink.

“I’ll be honest. I didn’t expect that to work.”

Tim, who had taken advantage of this time to make himself a cup of coffee and already finished it, sets the empty cup down.

“I’ll double it to keep me.”

“Tim!”

[pixiespond]

There is something very sensual about someone unzipping your dress for you. The brush of fingers against skin, the expanse of your back slowly revealing itself as they inch the zipper towards the base of your spine. Maybe they leave a kiss on the nape of your neck before they let you finish undressing, or they may even offer to help you. Either way, there’s almost an eroticism to the whole exchange that’s so lovely, I love quiet romantic acts like that

[crowttore]

the difference between men who hold you still in their lap and fuck up into you vs those who bounce you in their lap vs holding your hips and grinding you down on them

[kendymaycry]

i am an easily playful mermaid barbie how about you???

[winter-pear]

possessive men having angry jealous missionary sex…..,,,, grabbing your face and forcing you to look at them….. looking back at them all lovestruck and them getting even more possessive because they want to be the only one to see you that way..,,,,…. aaaaughhshdhff

[willoryn]

Grabbing a fistful of his hair while he's kissing you and it makes him growl into your mouth and kiss you harder........

[evilwizard]

Dude. DUDE. HUMPTY DUMPTY JUST FELL. YOU NEED TO SEE THIS ALL THE KINGS MEN ARE THERE TRYING TO GET HIM BACK TOGETHER. THIS IS SO FUCKED DUDE. IM SO SCARED. HE'S DEAD

🖐️ stand aside. only the court necromancer can save him now. we must pray his body isn’t too broken…

[evilwizard]

WTF are the horses doing

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

i don't fucking know i tried my best but i think we made it worse with our big hooves

[evilwizard]

WHY WERE YOU INVOLVED AT ALL ??

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

i don't knowwww *kicks in frustration and hits humpty dumpty again* fuckkkkkkk

[evilwizard]

STOP

[mntkaedi]

💗☔

[crowttore]

Heavy man folding you in half and apologising under his breath while his hips pick up the pace breathe if you agree

[abigail]

unfortunately i do think i am in fact doomed forever but at least there’s movies and music and idk probably some other things too

[the-bar-sinister]

So, the other day, when I was discussing AO3's policy on solicitation, a tumblr user came at me saying that AO3's "no monetization/solicitation" rules were "bullshit" because nexus mods allows fan created mods to get paid.

Look at me.

Look at me right now.

AO3 protects you.

AO3 protects you and your works. 

It protects your works from copyright strikes and DCMA takedowns.

It protects your work from advertisers.

It protects your work from overzealous legal challenges.

It protects your right to post adult content.

AO3 is non-profit and AO3 will never try to use you or your work to make a profit for themselves and AO3 will go to bat for you if someone tries to legally challenge you or your works.

Please respect AO3 and its mission.

[junkmixart]

Heyo! Sorry if I haven't been too active here lately, I've been working with Teezr for months to create Slasher U hoodies & T-shirts! This is a preorder campaign that’s going to end March 15 so grab them when you can! LINK

And of course my fav people at Patreon get a 10% discount code!! So if you're a Patreon member, go check out the post with the discount code!

[kelsmin]

self shipping isn’t enough i need to leave my teeth imprint on his skin

[pomaril]

its pretty simple all you need is a fuckbuddy a better job a good therapist welbutrin clothes made from high quality natural fibers a good diet lots of water a social network a supportive family a fulfilling hobby a comfortable bed two hundred dollar leather shoes sun exposure (but not too much) a silk pillowcase a workout routine an education rich parents a 401k a trip abroad a plan for the future a short commute no debt a hair stylist you trust white teeth no roommates wool socks a costco membership good insurance a screentime limiter clear skin a healthy sleep schedule and a blunt!

[kelsmin]

self shipping isn’t enough i need to leave my teeth imprint on his skin

[ozzgin]

It's funny how the same people who complain about not finding enough fanfiction content are the ones publicly ranting about authors and mocking their kinks or their way of writing.

You wanna know why there's not enough content? Because creators are terrified of putting their free labor out there, only to have people like you critiquing their - entirely free and optional, mind you! - pieces when you could be scrolling instead.

"When the author writes y/n as-" grab a pen and do it yourself.

"It's just my opinion because I find it weird-" then think it, don't post it. Why are you so possessed by the need to publicly insult someone doing hobby work?

I swear, I just stumbled upon a post that had tens of thousands of reblogs and hundreds of comments where everyone just kept piling on fanfic writers. Whether it's a trope, or the use of some words, it doesn't matter: y'all really out there dining for free and then spitting in the chef's face.

If you can vent in several paragraphs, you can also just scroll and mind your business. I can't believe it has to be said that you're an asshole if you nitpick someone's literal fun.