Hi guys just wanted to let you all know that if you want to request anything just message me or inbox me whichever you prefer. I can't promise that I will do the request as I only write and post things I enjoy and like. I write for the characters below and won't write smut or anything creepy. Not huge on age gaps either. Other than that feel free to request. Finally. None of the gifs on my page are made by me. I’m unsure of the original creator but all credit goes to them.
WATTPAD
Maraudersmap123 - I post these images on my Wattpad also, however I am far less active on that account than I am on this one. If you want to contact me or request anything please do so on tumblr, not Wattpad.
REMUS LUPIN
• “I'll see you again one day my love” - (Young Remus Lupin x Reader) - during the peak of the first wizarding war Remus Lupin runs away leaving his best mates and girlfriend. When he returns a year later everything had changed
• Liar - (Young Remus Lupin x Reader) - the marauders best friend, particularly Remus', has enough of them constantly lying to her and decides to stop talking to them. The group try to get her back and fail miserably causing a whirlwind of emotions and problems but the truth always comes out
• The Collateral Damage - (Young Remus Lupin x Reader) - Remus and the mother of his child go through a rough patch and end up living apart, when the prophecy is revealed to them, which affects their young son things change
• Sad Beautiful Tragic - (Young Remus Lupin x Reader) - Remus and Reader had an unofficial relationship while in their 7th year at Hogwarts. When they leave school they fall out of contact though still love one another.
JAMES POTTER
• Disowned - (James Potter x fem reader) - Sirius blacks younger sister and James Potter had a short fling that ended rather sourly. When she is disowned by her parents she stays at the leaky cauldron. when Sirius and James find her all they want is for her to live at the potters
•• Regrets - (James Potter x fem reader) - When James Potter sleeps with his best friend when both are extremely drunk, she stops talking to him completely and he’s left to wonder where he went wrong
• About Damn Time - (James Potter x fem reader) - In a world where you physically glow when you first make eye contact with your soulmate, James Potter meets his in a pretty awkward way
• The Way You Want - (James Potter x fem reader) - where James Potter finally confesses his feelings for his best friend and she realises how she feels after he gets in a near-fatal accident.
• This Little Town - (James Potter x fem reader) - James Potters best friend from childhood realises she loves him when she goes to Hogwarts in her 6th year instead of Beauxbatons.
SIRIUS BLACK
• Unexpected comfort - (Young Sirius Black x fem reader) - things change when Sirius black moves in with James and his sister. What once was hatred developed into comfort
•• Get you the moon - (Young Sirius Black x fem reader) - Based “get you the moon” by kina and snøw or where after Sirius is disowned his girlfriend supports him through the aftermath.
•• Fear - (Young Sirius Black x fem reader) - A James and Lily sort of love story or in which Sirius has been pining after lily's best friend for years but she's too scared to be with him due to his reputation
• The Way I Loved You - (Young Sirius Black x fem reader) - Based on “the way I loved you” by Taylor Swift or where two people break up after their relationship turns sour but find their way back to one another
•• Illicit Affair - (Young Sirius Black x fem reader) - Based on “Illicit Affair” by Taylor Swift or in which Sirius Black begins a secret relationship with a pureblood Slytherin from his parent's social group.
•• Grey - (Young Sirius Black x fem reader) - Beauxbatons comes to Hogwarts and Sirius Black meets his soulmate but only months later they are separated by war. Reunited years later in 1981 at a wedding, they begin what they started when they were only teenagers
THEODORE NOTT
•• Trouble - (Theodore Nott x fem reader) - Based on "I knew you were trouble" by Taylor Swift. or where he was trouble, and everyone knew it. But for whatever reason, she decided she didn't care
REGULUS BLACK
• Tis' the damn season - (Regulus Black x fem reader) - Based on 'tis the damn season' by Taylor Swift or where the war ruined many things, including Regulus Blacks relationship.
CEDRIC DIGGORY
• Peace - (Cedric Diggory x fem reader) - Based on “peace” by Taylor Swift. Or where Cedric Diggory and his girlfriend live through the second wizarding war while attempting to maintain as much peace as possible.
DRACO MALFOY
•• The Arrangement - (Draco Malfoy x fem reader) - Draco Malfoy is forced into an arranged marriage by his parents after the war, will he ever be able to love her or will they forever be pretending.
• Us, Forever - (Draco Malfoy x fem reader) - Based on "K." by Cigarettes After Sex. Or where two friends fall in love.
Hey guys, so after many many years of having this account and posting on it, I have decided that im finally going to post my fic recs. I've been writing fics myself for around 3 years now, and I have been reading fics for much longer. so it's fair to say I have compiled quite the list. I love all of these pieces so much, and I think the authors are just amazing. So I hope you all enjoy these are much as I do. I might even start posting these more often, monthly maybe if I have enough because I think it's a great way to bring recognition to great writers on this platform.
Some of the summaries are by me and some are just copied and pasted from the post.
Firstly I'd like to recommend my favourite author for harry potter fanfic, who inspired me to start writing in the first place. This is the only rec I have from Wattpad so I thought I would do it first. They also write for almost everyone, so it doesn't really fit in with the rest.
Harry Potter One Shots (Vol. 1) - @everlovingdeer
SIRIUS BLACK
Study Buddy by @unfortunatelysirius - "You’re Sirius’s History of Magic tutor, but it occurs to you that maybe he doesn’t need the extra help."
They're Just Girls by @hermioneshandbag - A Sirius version of the Jily love story.
Smile by @midnighttmarauder - Sirius gets a letter from home and the reader comforts him.
Babe, you're a habit by @jamcspotters - Muggle au. “The number one rule of friends with benefits is no feelings involved, and, you think you just broke it.”
Don't You Mind by @hermioneshandbag - Friends to lovers but they both think it's unrequited.
The Five Times Sirius Felt Time Stop by @wizardwritings - "Sirius Black could only recall five times in his life when he felt as if time stopped. All those times just happened to revolve around you."
Wasn't Expecting That by @spideyxxboi - "You and Sirius have a secret relationship and don’t know how to tell the other boys until they accidentally walk in on something they weren’t expecting."
About what I said last night by @rainandhotchocolate - Sirius and his girlfriend get into a fight before she leaves for a mission where she is injured.
potter. by @mellifluousmalfoy - Soulmate AU and friends to lovers in one.
How to Fall in Love: For Dummies by @wizardwritings - "Modern AU. you and Sirius have been best friends for years now, but after six months of living with him, you realize that maybe you liked him as more than a friend. The plan? To make him realize the same thing in just three, foolproof steps."
the feeling that we're meeting by @writesowhatnext - "Sirius Black has never liked the reader and this he made known. Maybe it’s because she’s a Slytherin. Maybe it was the bat-bogey hex. Strange, though, how things change with a war in full throttle."
The risk of love by @with-love-anu - "Sirius had been your bestfriend since forever. Things change when he runs away from home"
Baby Fever by @vampirestookmydoubts - Sirius and the reader disagree on having a child.
The way you look at her by @theweasleysredhair - Maybe there really is a fine line between hate and love.
Style by @userinejghafa - you’re the only one for sirius black and the thought overwhelms him.
REMUS LUPIN
Cold Cold Cold by @pronqzz - Essentially where Remus and the reader have some relationship problems.
Happily Ever After by @sleekeazyz - Pretty much post-war fluff with a hint of angst.
This isn't how it ends by @lilysevans-archive - The beginning of the relationship between the reader and Remus with a bump in the road. A headcanon.
Drunk by @futurewriter2000 - Remus puts his drunk girlfriend to bed.
White Lies by @jamcspotters - “I’m sick of you lying to me, Remus. Aren’t we best friends?” with those words, you turned around, walking out of his dorm with heavy steps and an even heavier heart.
Full Moon by @theweasleysredhair - After a particularly bad full moon, Y/n decides it’s time to admit that she knows all about Remus’ little secret, especially since she’s known for years.
Reasons by @drxcodormixns - “I said you couldn’t fall in love with me, but I didn’t say I couldn’t fall in love with you.”
Selfish 1/2 2/2 by @aspiringauthorintraining - best friends realise and eventually confess that they in fact love one another.
Only Love by @imaginesfrommetoyou - Remus and the reader have a secret relationship.
My Heart by @swellwriting - James' sister confesses her feelings for Remus in the infirmary
JAMES POTTER
Promises by @jamcspotters - “After days of hiding from your best friend, forced proximity may just be what it takes for secrets to be revealed.”
Why? by @futurewriter2000 - Jily but with the reader not lily.
Players Cigarette Mate by @amarauder - "in which a girl's bad habit turns into a good one."
The Girl Next Door And The Five Times She Stopped Time by @wreckofawriter - "James slowly begins to fall in love with the girl next door'
misconceptions by @siriusmuch - "james has been telling the marauders all about just how amazing you are. one day, you overhear and get the wrong message from the conversation."
After Quidditch by @intoanothermind - "I was almost too late and almost lost the best thing that happened to me in my life because I was too stubborn"
Always have by @awritingtree - "James and Y/N have always been two peas in a pod, never straying far from the other. Even through James’ endless pining and ramblings about his ‘Lilyflower’, Y/N never left his side. But what happens when Lily’s rejections go too far one day? And what happens when Y/N realizes she’s starting developing feelings for her best friend?"
DRACO MALFOY
The Relationship Formula by @wizardwritings - An arranged marriage between two purebloods.
Play Pretend by @wondernimbus - "in which two people are forced into marriage; reader falls in love. draco doesn’t."
THEODORE NOTT
Stoic Manners and Shy Smiles by @imintofictionalmen - Theo and reader catch feelings for one another but Theo isn't to good at communication.
Did I Mention by @kayesfictioncharactershusbands - "You didn't know when it started, or how it started. You just hate Theodore Nott. And same goes for him. But what if did I mention he also likes you? But one certain word made you slapped Theo because he was jealous. That you didn't know of."
Hi guys just wanted to let you all know that if you want to request anything just message me or inbox me whichever you prefer. I can’t promise that I will do the request as I only write and post things I enjoy and like. I write for the characters below and won’t write smut or anything creepy. Not huge on age gaps either. Other than that feel free to request. Finally. None of the gifs on my page are made by me. I’m unsure of the original creator but all credit goes to them.
WATTPAD
Maraudersmap123 - I post these images on my Wattpad also, however I am far less active on that account than I am on this one. If you want to contact me or request anything please do so on tumblr, not Wattpad.
REMUS LUPIN
• “I’ll see you again one day my love” - (Young Remus Lupin x Reader) - during the peak of the first wizarding war Remus Lupin runs away leaving his best mates and girlfriend. When he returns a year later everything had changed
• Liar - (Young Remus Lupin x Reader) - the marauders best friend, particularly Remus’, has enough of them constantly lying to her and decides to stop talking to them. The group try to get her back and fail miserably causing a whirlwind of emotions and problems but the truth always comes out
• The Collateral Damage - (Young Remus Lupin x Reader) - Remus and the mother of his child go through a rough patch and end up living apart, when the prophecy is revealed to them, which affects their young son things change
• Sad Beautiful Tragic - (Young Remus Lupin x Reader) - Remus and Reader had an unofficial relationship while in their 7th year at Hogwarts. When they leave school they fall out of contact though still love one another.
JAMES POTTER
•Disowned - (James Potter x fem reader) - Sirius blacks younger sister and James Potter had a short fling that ended rather sourly. When she is disowned by her parents she stays at the leaky cauldron. when Sirius and James find her all they want is for her to live at the potters
••Regrets - (James Potter x fem reader) - When James Potter sleeps with his best friend when both are extremely drunk, she stops talking to him completely and he’s left to wonder where he went wrong
•About Damn Time - (James Potter x fem reader) - In a world where you physically glow when you first make eye contact with your soulmate, James Potter meets his in a pretty awkward way
•The Way You Want - (James Potter x fem reader) - where James Potter finally confesses his feelings for his best friend and she realises how she feels after he gets in a near-fatal accident.
•This Little Town - (James Potter x fem reader) - James Potters best friend from childhood realises she loves him when she goes to Hogwarts in her 6th year instead of Beauxbatons.
SIRIUS BLACK
•Unexpected comfort - (Young Sirius Black x fem reader) - things change when Sirius black moves in with James and his sister. What once was hatred developed into comfort
••Get you the moon - (Young Sirius Black x fem reader) - Based “get you the moon” by kina and snøw or where after Sirius is disowned his girlfriend supports him through the aftermath.
••Fear - (Young Sirius Black x fem reader) - A James and Lily sort of love story or in which Sirius has been pining after lily’s best friend for years but she’s too scared to be with him due to his reputation
•The Way I Loved You - (Young Sirius Black x fem reader) - Based on “the way I loved you” by Taylor Swift or where two people break up after their relationship turns sour but find their way back to one another
•• Illicit Affair- (Young Sirius Black x fem reader) - Based on “Illicit Affair” by Taylor Swift or in which Sirius Black begins a secret relationship with a pureblood Slytherin from his parent’s social group.
••Grey - (Young Sirius Black x fem reader) - Beauxbatons comes to Hogwarts and Sirius Black meets his soulmate but only months later they are separated by war. Reunited years later in 1981 at a wedding, they begin what they started when they were only teenagers
THEODORE NOTT
•• Trouble - (Theodore Nott x fem reader) - Based on “I knew you were trouble” by Taylor Swift. or where he was trouble, and everyone knew it. But for whatever reason, she decided she didn’t care
REGULUS BLACK
• Tis’ the damn season - (Regulus Black x fem reader) - Based on ‘tis the damn season’ by Taylor Swift or where the war ruined many things, including Regulus Blacks relationship.
CEDRIC DIGGORY
•Peace - (Cedric Diggory x fem reader) - Based on “peace” by Taylor Swift. Or where Cedric Diggory and his girlfriend live through the second wizarding war while attempting to maintain as much peace as possible.
DRACO MALFOY
•• The Arrangement - (Draco Malfoy x fem reader) - Draco Malfoy is forced into an arranged marriage by his parents after the war, will he ever be able to love her or will they forever be pretending.
• Us, Forever - (Draco Malfoy x fem reader) - Based on “K.” by Cigarettes After Sex. Or where two friends fall in love.
Summary - Based on K. by cigarettes after sex or where two best friends fall in love.
Warning - Mentions of sex. Draco is maybe a bit out of character but it's also post Hogwarts so who knows. Complete fluff to be honest. Not been proofread.
Word count - 6,304
Reading time - 4 mins
***
The young pair sat in a restaurant in central muggle London, both looking out into the street as people rushed passed on the other side of the glass. Draco had decided that they should try out some new places, rather than continuing to regular the ones they had been to since they were children. It had been something he had been trying to do since the end of the war, integrating the muggle world with his own.
The rain poured down harder than she could ever imagine possible. The grey sky had almost turned black and the puddles on the pavement only continued to grow larger and larger. The candle that lit their table painted her in a beautiful light Draco noted. Similar to when she was caught in the bare moonlight. He wondered for a second if it was possible that he had a photo album in his mind filled with her at her most beautiful moments. He was sure that if he did he must have multiple, for they couldn't all fit in one book, not even an imaginary one.
She turned eventually to look at the man in front of her only to realise he was already watching it. He was taken aback by the look in her eyes, one he was sure he was mirroring. She smiled at him and he didn't waste a second in smiling back, kicking her ankle gently with his foot, making her let out a gentle laugh.
"Draco," she eventually said.
"Yes darling," he mumbled back, not breaking eye contact for a second.
"Do you want to stay over tonight?" she asked him, and to his surprise, she sounded shy.
"Of course I do," he responded without much thought.
They had been staying over at each other's houses, then eventually flats after they moved out of their family homes, for as long as either could remember. However recently something had changed. In late August their friends Theodore and Daphne got married, she had been a bride's maid and he was the best man. They had sex for the first time that evening. And now in October, they seemed to have an unspoken agreement. They would have sex and pretend there were no strings attached. They pretended they hadn't loved one another since high school. It was now that Draco realised that the feelings he had so long assumed unrequited didn't seem to be so.
He thought back to only hours ago when the pair were tangled in his bedsheets, her head resting on his naked chest as they caught their breath and his hand ran patterns up her back, soothing her. It had felt different this time, less like sex and more like love.
They walked through the well-lit streets of central London a few days later, his arm wrapped around her shoulder as they walked towards his flat as it was the closest to the pub they had been at. They were both happily tipsy, having celebrated the end of the working week with their old school friends. His fingertips drew patterns on her shoulder as she turned to laugh at him, however the smile fell from her face slightly when she noticed the look on his face as he watched her.
"Draco? What's wrong?" she asked as they slowed to a stop on the pavement beside a dimly lit park.
"You know you're the most important person in my life, don't you?" he told her sincerely, a taxi drove passed them as they looked at one another.
"Of course I do, we've known each other our whole lives" she smiled half-heartedly
"Yeah but it's different now," he told her simply
"It is" she agreed. She knew what he was telling her, it didn't take a genius to work it out. They continued walking down the street, passing the park. He smiled as she slipped her hand into his own, his apartment coming into view as they turn a corner.
The flat was dark and cold, having been uninhabited for the entire day. Turning on one of the lamps Draco quickly turned his attention to the radio in the corner of the room, turning it on to whichever channel came first and keeping it at a quiet volume. She took her coat off beside the door, and slipped off her shoes, tights-clad feet gently walking over to him.
"Dance with me" she whispered, and he smiled down at her, wrapping his arms around her waist while hers wrapped around his neck. He leaned down and kissed her head as they slowly swayed to the sound of the music that floated across the room, blanketing them in a world of temporary bliss.
Her hand ran through the short pieces of hair at the nape of his neck and before she could decide against it she rose to her tiptoes and kissed him as gently as she could. He smiled against her mouth and she couldn't help but laugh.
Draco found it all too telling that in all his life he had never seen so much happiness as he had done in the 2 months that they had become more than friends. He had been happy for many years now, but had he known that happiness like this existed, he was sure he would have thought himself miserable.
They fell into the unmade bed as though they had never left, and he wasted no time in connecting his lips back to her own, his hand grasping at her thigh.
"God I love you so much" he mumbled against her lips and she pulled away slightly, looking up at him. He repeated himself after another second "I love you"
"I love you too Draco" she whispered
"Do you want to be my girlfriend darling?" he asked, sitting up and looking down at her as a look of shock painted itself across her features. "I've wanted to ask for a while now, since 5th year really. Maybe earlier" he told her, his hand brushing a piece of hair out of her face.
"Of course I want to be your girlfriend Draco, I've always wanted to be" she confirmed and he grinned at her, the happiness in the room feeling puncturable.
A few weeks later they awoke one morning with a slight headache and desperately needing a drink of water like they had done many mornings past. He quickly grabbed them two glasses of water from the kitchen before making his way back to bed, wrapping his arms around her stomach and pulling her back into him.
"I'm so happy" she mumbled against his neck
"Me too love, me too" he responded. And it was true. Knowing she was his and he was hers after so many years of dreaming of such an arrangement made him happier than he could ever imagine. He had always known sharing his life with her would be perfect. But for him, it seemed to be so much more.
"I don't want you to ever leave," he said quietly
"I wouldn't dream of it," said the tired woman "forever Draco, it'll be us forever"
Summary - Draco Malfoy is forced into an arranged marriage by his parents after the war, will he ever be able to love her or will they forever be pretending.
Warning - Mentions of sex and affairs. Draco’s an arse to begin with. Not been proofread yet.
Word count - 6,997
Reading time - 25 mins
***
Draco had always known that he would marry young, and furthermore that this marriage would be within very little of his control. It felt as though his parents had written out his betrothal before he was even born, actually, he knew this was most likely true.
A pureblood marriage was expected of him, and his parents wouldn't risk that he threw away their family name on someone not worth it. So they had written up an agreement with one of Narcissa's close friends from school before their children had even been born.
Though the L/n family were only half Slytherin's, their name and bloodline were respectable enough that this didn't matter. Y/n L/n had known Draco her entire life, though she never particularly liked him. She had actually assumed that her betrothal was to Theodore Nott, so the news had come as quite the shock.
After the war, most weddings were postponed, and very few couples were getting engaged, deciding to prioritise healing from the traumatic few years everyone had just fought through rather than tying themselves down on paper. The Malfoy family however decided to do quite the opposite. Their name had lost almost all the respect it had before the war, and though the family had avoided imprisonment, their lives had been all but destroyed in the aftermath.
They decided, alongside the L/n family who wished to help their old friends, that now would be the time to unite their two children. The L/ns had been famously neutral in the war, and the Malfoys knew that this stance would make them look good now everything was over.
"I want you to know that I don't want this" Draco whispered in her ear one evening when the families had come together to have a meal at the Malfoy home. "I don't want you"
That night set the precedent for the beginning of their marriage. They were married within 2 months of finishing their retaken last year at Hogwarts, and only a year and a half after the war ended. It was a nice wedding by all definitions, the late summer air made for a comfortable heat and the money the pair had between them ensured it was beautiful, the only fault was that they didn't love one another. The pair moved into Malfoy's manor and his parents moved into one of their many other houses. Y/n had hoped that Draco would perhaps be a bit more friendly towards her after the wedding. She had been more wrong than she could ever have known.
The house was large enough that she barely saw him. They didn't sleep in the same room, in fact, she didn't even know which room he did sleep in. She was sure this was exactly how he liked it. She knew where she wasn't wanted, but she also knew that she couldn't leave. So she simply did the best she could to be neither seen nor heard.
***
After a few months at Malfoy's manor little had changed, Draco would put on a facade when their parents would visit, only to drop it all as soon as they were left alone yet again. His attitude towards her had only gotten colder. She had quickly come to realise that before her there had been someone else, someone she was sure he still loved. And she started to accept that this was the way it was going to be. They would barely see one another and when they did he would treat her with contempt, but she could ignore it.
"Mother and father are having a Christmas ball here next week, I've told them it'll be no problem and that we'll prepare the house for it," he told her one evening over dinner, the first they had shared in months. She had looked up at him, the pair sitting on opposite ends of the very long table. Swallowing her food she nodded slowly.
"Okay" an awkward silence fell back over the table and his eyes shifted away from her. "This must be the first one they've had in years"
"I don't see how that's any of your concern" he mumbled, had the room not been dead silent she would never have heard him. This was no different to their other interactions, also awkward and cold maybe even borderline cruel.
"I was just trying to make conversation" she responded quietly.
"The house is big enough that we don't have to suffer through unnecessary conversation" she knew that he wanted nothing more than for her to disappear into the walls and never show herself again, and she found herself wishing she could do so.
The week before the ball passed like every other. She met her friends the day before, putting on a brave face and pretending that her life was going well. Nobody knew that she was feeling more hopeless than she ever had, which said a lot for a survivor of a war. She had felt the wards around the manor shift almost every night that week, and could only assume that her husband was seeking out the love of another woman. Or at least she hoped he was the one seeking it out and that this woman wasn't in her house.
On the day of the party, she pushed the thought of the affair to the back of her mind, busying herself with getting the house ready for what she expected was a big night. The house-elves had been doing most of the work through the week however she felt it necessary to complete the finishing touches herself, giving the house-elves the day off.
"What are you doing through here" the familiar voice of Draco rung through the kitchen, her head spinning to look towards the door where he was standing. She noticed he was only in a towel, his hair dripping wet.
"I'm just getting the last bits and pieces ready for tonight," she told him with an awkward smile. "the ballroom is already prepared, and the food, so there's just a few things left to do"
"Why don't you have the house-elves do it, you need to get ready," he told her as he moved around her and towards the sink.
"Well they've been working very hard this week, I thought I'd give them a day off" his head snapped towards her when he heard her explanation
"Sorry what" he snapped, she knew straight away that he wasn't happy with her decision. "You're telling me that you've dismissed our house elves on the day of our first function not only since the war but also as a couple"
"They were tired, they've been working all week" she repeated, trying to have him see sense.
"That's what they are here for, it's their job. Call them back and have them get the last bits and pieces ready" he told her before once again turning his back on her.
"It's really no problem, I'll be done in no time and I really think they need the -"
"I told you to call them back, they are my house-elves, or have you forgotten" his voice rose drastically as he clearly grew frustrated with the woman in front of him.
"They are my house-elves as well. Because this is also my home, or have you forgotten" she responded quickly. Her voice was almost as cold as his for the first time since they had married.
"This will never be your house, not as long as you're taking the place of the woman I love"
A stunned silence fell over the room as she worked out what she could possibly say to rebut his words, but no matter how much she thought there was nothing she could come up with. He eventually scoffed before further making his way out of the room.
"Go and get ready, the guests will start arriving in a few hours and I don't need them to see you doing house-elf work"
***
The ball had begun. It had been around an hour since the first guests arrived, and now almost everyone invited was in the manor. Their parents had been some of the first to arrive, their mothers gushing over how beautiful and happy the new couple looked. The entire situation made Y/n want to be sick. The food was yet to be served, so she busied herself with her friends and as much wine as she could drink while remaining classy, wanting to stay as far away from her husband and their argument as she could.
"Is everything okay Y/n," her close friend from school Eloise asked as they stood in the entry hall surrounded by a few other friends, the sound of the ballroom music muffled by the wall that separated them from the busy room.
"Ye of course why wouldn't it be"
“You just seem a bit off is all” their other friend Anna stated with furrowed brows.
"I'm fine honestly, it's just been a stressful day, having our first ball and everything" she assured them and the small group just gave her a small smile. "Anyway, I'd better be getting back to the ballroom, Draco will be looking for me"
She stood up and made her way back through the entrance hall and towards the ballroom, assuming that her friends weren't following them when she heard their voices growing distant.
as she entered the room she spied her husband talking to a young woman at one of the faraway tables. She was a beautiful girl, and Y/n realised that she actually recognised her. It was Astoria Greengrass, the younger sister of Daphne Greengrass. All throughout school Astoria has been undeniably in love with Draco and everyone knew it. Though at the time he always turned her down, claiming she was too young, something had obviously changed now that he was 20 and she was 18. Perhaps it had started during his last year at school, now she thought about it she could remember the pair being together quite regularly in those last few months.
Draco's eyes finally landed on his wife, his expression not changing at all when his eyes met her own which were already watching him. He quickly turned back to the younger witch and Y/n just sighed, turning the find someone to talk to. Within only a few seconds of walking around the hall she was stopped by Narcissa, who it seemed had watched the interaction between her son, his wife, and his mistress.
"You truly do look lovely this evening darling," Narcissa said with a smile "such a flattering dress"
"Thank you Mrs Malfoy, how is your evening going," she asked politely, tucking a fallen piece of hair behind her ear as Narcissa began to talk.
"- and please, call me Narcissa, we are family after all" she only caught the end part of her mother-in-law's response, having been distracted by the eyes that she could feel boring into her back.
"Of course, Narcissa" the older woman looked down at her with a sad look in her eyes, and she was sure that the witch knew everything that was going on in their marriage, even if she had never been told.
"We're happy to have you in our family Y/n. I know that Draco can be challenging at times, and I know that we haven't exactly set you up for success. But I want you to know that Lucius and I, well we are happy to have you in this family, and one day he will be too" she said quietly, ensuring that nobody could hear. The younger woman simply nodded in appreciation, though she didn't believe it.
She felt a hand press against her shoulder and someone stepping into place beside her, their arm wrapping around her waist. She knew it was Draco almost instantaneously.
"How are you enjoying the party mother" His voice sounded different when he was talking to his mum, it sounded nice. She just wished he could talk to her like that.
"Very well, thank you Draco. I was just talking to your wife about how beautiful she looks tonight, doesn't she just" maybe she had been imagining it, but Y/n could have sworn that Narcissa had put emphasis on the word wife. It seemed Draco had heard it too as he straightened up at the word.
"Of course mother" just as the words slipped past his lips, their first dance song started. Narcissa began to smile and expressed that she found the song beautiful and that she was glad the pair had chosen it. "Dance with me"
The pair made their way to the dance floor which was littered with many couples who were beginning to slow dance, her parents among them. He wrapped his arms around her waist, his hand's restings on the small of her back. While hers wrapped around his neck. They stared at one another for just a second before she looked down at his dark green patterned tie.
They didn't say a word for what felt like forever, but he pulled her in ever so slightly closer, her body being pressed against his own.
"Is that her?" she whispered, "Astoria Greengrass, is she the one that you love"
"Ye, ye she is" he answered just as quietly, she finally looked back up at him and for the first time since they had married over three months ago, she could see some guilt in his eyes for the way in which he was treating her. She just gave him a small smile, having very little to actually say to the man.
"I'm sorry you aren't married to her instead, I know you wish you were" he never responded, their most civil conversation to date ending.
The night carried on with very little interaction between the two, and eventually people started to leave. As the house found itself more and more empty, Y/n allowed herself to escape to the kitchen. Pouring herself a particularly large glass of red wine she settled down at the kitchen island, taking a gulp and leaning back in the chair.
"Well if it isn't Y/n L/n" the voice of Roger Davies drifted across the large kitchen. She turned her head slowly to look at the tall man leaning against the door frame, looking at her with a small smile. "Or should I say Y/n Malfoy"
"Please don't" she laughed as the boy she was once very well acquainted with walked towards her, sitting next to her and pouring his own glass from the bottle.
"Really, trouble in paradise already?" he asked, placing his glass down on the table after taking a drink. The couple had dated briefly after he left school and she was about to go into her 6th year. They had been friends for years due to being in the same house, but it wasn't until they went on holiday together that things had progressed. He ended things when she went back to school, telling her she was too young. Apparently, she and Astoria had a lot more in common than just Draco Malfoy.
"There was no paradise for there to be trouble in to begin with," she told him with a small smile, to which he only nodded in understanding. He was after all also a pureblood, and though it may have been the Slytherins that had the reputation regarding arranged marriages, the pureblood Ravenclaws certainly knew what it was like. The majority of them had also been subjected to them after all.
"Does it get better?" she asked quietly
"Sort of," he told her taking another drink from his glass. Roger had married less than a year after the pair broke things off, at the time it had broken her heart.
"He's seeing someone else, says he loves her," she said with very little emotion behind her voice.
"I was seeing someone else after I first got married. Now it's Margot seeing someone" he told her in a similar tone. He finally allowed his eyes to roam around the room, a small smile gracing his face. "You've got a lovely house"
"Thank you." the conversation went quiet for a moment and she felt his eyes on the side of her face "Would you do it again, see someone else" she turned to look at him and he held her eyes. He had always been a very attractive man, but still the few years they hadn't seen one another had done him good. He was taller and his shoulders broader. Before she knew what was going on he had placed his lips upon her own, his hands framing her face. She kissed back happily, desperate for somebody to love her again.
"I would do it again" he whispered into her mouth before kissing her again.
***
Though it seemed impossible after the ball Y/n had seen even less of Draco than before. They had shared a short kiss on New Year as they were with many of their friends and family and it would look suspicious if they never. However, since that night she had barely seen him. She had spent more nights at rogers in the new year than she had her own, and she was sure her presence at Malfoy manor wasn't missed. She also hadn't seen Roger's wife the entire time. He told her that much like them she was in the arms of another man, in another house.
"I missed you" he whispered into the air one night. She was lying in his arms, playing with his fingers, as they caught their breaths. She pulled the blanket up over her naked body and he pulled her into him, rubbing his hand over her shoulder blades.
"I missed you to rog," she told him. They had been doing this for a few months now, and though it was everything she had once been so adamantly against she was happy. The April sun had set, and she realised that they had been at his house for well over 24 hours.
"I'd better get going, Draco will realise I'm not home and start wondering," she told the older boy with a sad smile.
"Does he not know?" he asked, placing his hands on the side of his head and watching her as she pulled herself from the bed.
"I mean I'm sure he will have assumed," she told him "but no I've not explicitly told him"
"Have you two been together yet?" he said without catching her eyes.
"No, and we've only kissed 2 times," she told him
"I do hope that one day things are better for us," he told her and she just gave him a small sad "I just wish we'd been lucky enough that they put us together"
"Me too Roger, me too" within a few minutes she had flooed from his house straight into her own, making her way from the living room to the kitchen and jumping slightly when she saw the back of Draco facing the fridge.
"Draco," she said quietly as she entered the room, trying not to startle him. He turned around quickly, his eyes roaming over her as he realised it was just her.
"Y/n" he mumbled, turning back around to the fridge and pulling out the bowl of salad she had prepared a few days prior and set it down on the kitchen island, pulling out the chair and starting to eat.
"How's your day been," she asked, stepping further into the room and leaning against the counter across from him.
"Alright, I'm thinking about getting a job at the ministry. Had an interview today" he told her. She raised her eyebrows in surprise and he just nodded "Ye I'm starting to get a bit bored around here"
"That's understandable. How do you think it went" she asked him
"Alright, don't know if I'll get it though, given my family's history" he responded, putting a forkful of the salad into his mouth.
"I'm sure if the interview went well they'll give you the job" he looked up at her after she finished talking.
"Where have you been off to most nights the last couple of months?" he asked her after a few moments. She stopped the shock from showing on her face and decided to pour herself a glass of water.
"Just been visiting a friend," she told him nonchalantly
"A friend?" he asked her with raised eyebrows, seeing through her lie,
"I'm not doing anything that you aren't," she told him simply
"Who is he," he asked, his tone indicating that he couldn't care less what the answer was, but Y/n suspected from his facial expressions that this wasn't as true as he likely wished it was.
"Roger Davies"
"I remember when you two went out in school. Isn't he married" he asked and Y/n scoffed at his response.
"Aren't we married Draco" he just shrugged his shoulders.
And things continued like that for months. She continued seeing Roger, and he continued seeing Astoria. They would see one another in the halls or the kitchen and sometimes he would be civil with her and other times he would fight with her. She never knew which it would be and after a certain amount of time, she decided that he was likely taking the frustrations he felt towards Astoria out on her. Because it would now be far too easy for Astoria to leave him, whereas she simply couldn't.
It was coming up to a year since they had gotten married. And though they likely would have done very little to celebrate the date, their parents had invited them out for a dinner at one of the restaurants in wizarding London. They of course had accepted the offer, knowing that neither of their parents would allow them not to go.
It was the middle of the night a few weeks before their anniversary when she awoke. She had a nightmare, one very similar to those she had directly after the war and decided she needed a glass of cold water. Getting up from her bed she pulled a jumper over herself and made her way out of the room and down the hall. The kitchen was expectantly empty and she thanked merlin for it, she couldn't deal with Draco's moods at the moment.
Pouring herself a glass and adding a few bits of ice she sat down at the island that was starting to be the busiest part of the house and had a sip, resting her head on her hand. She hadn't been sitting down for even a minute when she heard feet padding down the stairs, it only took her a second to realise that it wasn't just Draco's feet.
Before she could escape the kitchen door opened and in walked her husband and his mistress, into her house. She stared at the pair in disbelief and Draco looked back, clearly not pleased at getting caught. The fire was on the other side of the kitchen from them, and only a few feet away from where she was sitting. Based on Astoria's eyes regularly shooting behind her to look at the fireplace she could only assume that this is what they were here for, either he was saying goodbye before she flooed home, or he was joining her.
The awkward tension in the room never faltered, and after a moment of everyone just looking at one another she just let out a dry laugh.
"If you want to use our fireplace go right ahead," she said, picking up her glass and once again taking a sip "don't let his wife stop you"
"Y/n don't" Draco warned in a low voice, Astoria now doing everything in her power to avoid her eye as she quickly made her way over to the fireplace in question.
"Can I ask you a question Astoria?" she asked her, and though the question was to be cold and everyone knew it, her voice held an eerily neutral tone.
"I guess" the younger girl answered awkwardly, Draco by this point was glaring daggers into his wife.
"What do you get out of fucking a married man, I mean you're 18 years old, single, and could have almost anyone you want. I know I do it because I'm stuck in a marriage I never wanted, and so is he. Neither of us really have much of a choice when it comes to the affair thing. But you, why do you do it?" she asked, tilting her head as she studied the girl in front of her. It was clear she was uncomfortable, but who wouldn't be. "I'd never have dreamt of getting involved in all this shit when I was 18"
Whether or not Astoria responded or not was outwith her knowledge, the next thing she knew Draco's fist had come down hard on the counter as he stood in front of her, the kitchen now holding only the two of them once more. She had never seen him look so angry.
"What the fuck was that" he demanded, and she decided she would actually rather he was yelling at her. Because this tone was much worse than any volume his voice could reach.
"I can't deal with you like this right now Draco, we'll talk about it in the morning. Or whenever we next happen to bump into one another in the halls" she responded simply and his jaw dropped at her response.
"Who do you think you are," he asked her once again, his voice only getting angrier.
"I think I'm your wife," she told him coldly "and I think your wife deserves to get a glass of water in her house and not have to bump into the 18-year-old mistress in the kitchen who just got done fucking her husband"
"I had sex with my ex-girlfriend in my house" he roared, obviously losing his patience with her. She didn't know when but at some point she watched the glass falling from the table and shatter beside them "the same way you fuck your ex-boyfriend in-"
"In his house, never this one. I've never had anyone in this house because I at least respect you enough for that" she told him, finally standing up and looking at him face on.
"I think you need to remember that this is a marriage of convenience. I have never and will never love you, how could I when I have Astoria waiting for me. So maybe you need to get used to the fact that she's around because she always will be. As long as you're in this house, she will be too"
"Trust me Draco, I hate and resent you more than you ever could me. Because I went into this, though just as heartbroken as you were, with an ounce of hope that maybe we could make this work in some way. Only you made it clear from day one that you would do everything in your power to make each day of my life worse than the one before. Well, I hope you relish the fact that you have done just that" he stared at her for a few moments before turning and leaving the room.
She sighed as a tear fell down her face. She hated him, everything about him. And deep down she felt a bit of pity for Astoria for having to put up with it. She looked down at the million pieces of broken glass on the cold floor, more tears started falling and for a reason she couldn't quite explain they didn't stop. Kneeling down to start picking up the glass she heard a house-elf rushing over to her and starting to clean up the mess.
"I'm sorry, we just had a bit of an argument is all. I'm sorry if we woke you" she babbled, a soft sob escaping her mouth as she again went to pick up more of the glass.
"It's alright miss, I'll clean it up" the small elf's hands covered hers before gently pushing them away from the sharp pieces. She knelt back on her feet, her face falling into her hands as she attempted to calm her breathing and stop crying.
"Thank you Veeney, but how about you go to bed. I'll deal with it" Draco's voice drifted quietly from the door once again.
"Yes master"
before she could get herself away from him he knelt down beside her and pulled her into his chest, placing his hand on the back of her head as he tried to calm her down. She assumed he had magicked away the broken glass because when she placed her hand firmly on the floor she didn't feel anything sharp cutting her.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," he whispered in her ear and she just decided not to respond, not trusting her voice and already being embarrassed enough that he saw her in such a state. His hand ran gently down over her head, mumbling apologies into the awkward air.
"I'm going to stay with roger for a bit, I can't be in this house anymore," she told him after a few minutes and he just nodded. She pulled away from him and did the best she could to avoid his eyes, making her way quickly over to the fireplace and leaving him kneeling on their kitchen floor.
***
She had stayed away from the manor for almost a whole week. It wasn't until she remembered their anniversary, and consequential anniversary dinner that she realised she would have to go back. Though she was sure he wouldn't care if she missed the day, she knew for certain that her parents would.
"Hello Veeney, would you be able to inform Draco that I'm back?" she asked as she stepped out of the fireplace, brushing her hands over her trousers to rid them of any dust
"Of course ma'am"
She had started getting ready for the evening as soon as she had entered her room, locking it quickly behind her to ensure she wasn't bothered. She hadn't wanted to come back at all, and she knew that if she had her way she would never enter the dreaded house ever again. But that wasn't ever going to be an option. She had the chance to reject that future a year ago today and failed to do so, that was just something she was going to have to accept.
After finishing getting ready she finally braced herself and made her way out of the room, making sure her bag had everything she needed in it and that her hair looked okay. Carefully walking down the stairs in her heels she spied Draco standing waiting in the foyer. He turned to look at her when he heard her approaching, and though she never noticed his expression his face lit up ever so slightly when he lay eyes on her. Deep down he had started to feel ever so slightly lonely with her not in the house. He had grown used to hearing her in the halls or bumping into her in the kitchen.
"How are you," he asked with as much kindness in his voice as he could muster. He had been feeling far more guilty than he ever would have expected when she was gone, so much so that he had gone as far as telling Astoria they had to take a break.
"I'm fine, how are you?" she said quietly once she reached the bottom of the stairs, her voice strained.
"Alright. We should get going, we are meeting them at the restaurant and the table is reserved for half an hour's time" he told her and she just nodded, giving him a tight-lipped smile. She could tell her was trying to be nice to her, at least in comparison to what he used to treat her like.
The dinner passed relatively painlessly, mostly occupied with small talk and pleasantries. Draco's father asked around halfway through the meal whether the two had started thinking about kids. Both had been shocked by the question. Y/n hadn't known that it would be expected of them so soon, hoping they'd have a few years more before having to worry about that. But apparently, she'd been wrong.
"We've decided we're going to take things slow, we are only 21" Draco answered for them, having her hand a small squeeze on the table. He had taken her hand almost as soon as they had sat down, and had barely let go since.
"It's important of course that you see the reason behind this union, and that you do your best to prioritise that purpose" Lucius continued on, earning a warning glance from his wife.
"That's enough, they are still young they have time" Narcissa stated with a smile towards her Daughter-in-law
"I have to say I agree with Lucius" her dad's voice interrupted, her mother looking down clearly wishing to stay out of it all.
"Father please, can't we talk about something else," Y/n said, trying to change the conversation. She was sure that the parents hadn't thought for a second that the married couple hadn't even had sex yet, let alone considered having kids.
"It really is important that the pair of continue our blood-lines, what a waste it would be if you were unable to do so" his father continued
"We have decided that we are going to wait, it may not be much of a concern for you guys but we would like to have a healthy marriage before we introduce any children into the mess that we've been thrown into" Draco interrupted the conversation, his mother looking at him with a sad look in his eyes. She looked over at her husband, her eyebrows raised in surprise at the interaction. It was possibly the last thing she had expected to be said, especially by them.
"I'm sure they are able to make this decision for themselves, they will know what's best," her mother said with a gentle tone, giving her daughter a smile.
The rest of the meal went by relatively fast, Mr Malfoy clearly doing his best to ignore his son's outburst. By the end of the dinner, they were wishing their parents well and exiting the restaurant. It had grown dark outside, the streets being far emptier than they had been when they entered. Music could be heard playing from one of the bars behind them and a slight wind blew over the street.
To her surprise, he slipped his arms out of his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders, holding her hand in his own.
"They can't see us Draco" she reminded him as they rounded a corner, Gringotts displaying itself a few feet ahead. "I'd like to talk to you when we get in" She didn't know what to say, so she simply nodded her head in agreement.
Within 15 minutes they were back in their kitchen, and she slipped the jacket off and lay it on the kitchen counter. Exiting the room she made her way towards the living room, and sat herself down on one of the couches, assuming Draco was following her. It was funny, she had lived in this house for a year now and had been in the living room no more than 7 times. Her assumption was correct when a few seconds later Draco entered the room, closing the door behind him and moving over to sit beside her.
"I'd like to apologise again for what I said that night in the kitchen, I was angry and wanted to hurt your feelings. It was unacceptable" he started and she just nodded her head in acknowledgement "And I want to apologise for all of the other times over the last year were I've treated you as though you don't belong here, or that you aren't welcome in the family"
"It's okay Draco, it's a complicated situation and I'm sure many men would react worse than you have" she assured him, providing him with a small smile that he didn't return "I'm sorry for talking to Astoria in the way that I did, I understand now that she loves you just the same as you love her and that this has nothing really to do with me, I'm just an unfortunate participant. It is your life at the end of the day, and if she makes you happier then I'm okay with her being here"
The room fell silent for a moment before she decided to once again continue.
"I know that we would be going against our parent's wishes and that we would possibly be disowned for doing so, but if you want a divorce Draco, I'd be willing to give you one" she whispered, a tear threatening to leave her eye at just the thought of how humiliating such a situation would be for them both "or I could move out and live with rog in his hou-"
"I don't want a divorce," he told her simply, she let out a small 'oh' in surprise
"Is that not what you want to talk about?" she asked him, confusion laced in her voice
"No, it's not. I think we both know that a divorce would essentially ruin us. Not to mention our families. Of course, if it's what you want then I won't stop you" he said and she nodded her head in agreement. As much as she wished it was possible for them to just divorce she knew they couldn't, not really.
"Okay, so what's wrong?" she asked, crossing her legs.
"I want us to give this marriage an actual shot," he said and she couldn't help her jaw falling open in shock "I've ended things with Astoria. I never really gave us the chance to work, and who knows maybe we could."
"Draco-"
"It's not far fetched that it could one day. Mum and dad grew to love one another, so why can't we if we just try our best. This house has been pretty cold this last year, and I don't want that for the rest of our lives" he explained before she could shoot him down and she smiled at him, nodding her head.
"Ye, I think that's a good idea. I don't see the harm in trying, and we never did try"
"I missed you when you weren't here," he told her gently "truly I did, this house feels empty without you in it"
10 Years Later
"Scorpius you need to put your toys back in the box once you're done with them, your dad has already told you," She said as she entered the living room, looking around at the mess on the floor as her small son sat on the couch watching a film.
"Mummy, I know" he mumbled, his eyes trained on the muggle TV.
"How about we clean them up together before daddy gets home, I don't think he'd be too happy to see such a mess two days in a row" the 5-year-old seemed to ponder his mum's words as he looked up at her, eventually nodding his head and making his way onto the floor to start putting his toys into their box.
"When are we next going to granny and grandad's," he asked when she knelt down next to him, helping him clean up.
"This weekend baby, we are going to tell them that you're going to be a big brother remember. Both your Granny's and Grandad's will be there, and all of our friends too. All your favourite people who don't know yet" he started giggling when he remembered and she smiled down at him, messing up his hair with her free hand.
"What's so funny little man" a voice came from the doorway, and both turned around to look at the tall man leaning against the door.
"Granny doesn't know about mummies baby" he giggled again "It's a secret" Draco chuckled slightly at his son's response, finding enjoyment in the odd things that children found funny.
"She will soon buddy, but ye right now it's a secret," he told the little boy, entering the room fully, placing his briefcase on the coffee table, and sitting down on the couch closest to his family.
"How was your day darling?" she asked the older Malfoy heir, patting his knee gently before turning and putting the last of the toys away.
"Oh alright, things are pretty busy with the quidditch world cup in a few weeks. Did I tell you that Marietta Edgecombe is getting married?" he responded, offering his hand to help her up.
"I'm not sure, either you did or maybe it was Eloise or Anna. They were very envious of her" she told him, sitting down next to him and smiling when their son climbed up into his father's lap.
"And what have you been up to today bud" his attention turned to the little boy in his lap who was clearly trying to get his attention.
"I helped mummy make cookies for Veeney, because she said Veeney was working hard last week because of our party" he rambled, shuffling about as Draco smiled at him, brushing a piece of hair out of his eyes.
"That's right, Veeney has been very busy. Well done for making her cookies I'm sure she'll really appreciate them" he praised him, and seemingly happy with the interaction Scorpius jumped out of his father's hold and ran out of the door, presumably to get the cookies to show him.
"How is he still so energetic" he laughed and she let out a tired sigh
"Tell me about it" he pressed a kiss to her nose before quickly following it up with a longer one to her lips.
"daddy stop that, leave her alone" the horrified voice of Scorpius rang through the room as he ran back in, both adults falling into laughter as they looked at their son who stood disgusted at their love.
Hey guys, so after many many years of having this account and posting on it, I have decided that im finally going to post my fic recs. I've been writing fics myself for around 3 years now, and I have been reading fics for much longer. so it's fair to say I have compiled quite the list. I love all of these pieces so much, and I think the authors are just amazing. So I hope you all enjoy these are much as I do. I might even start posting these more often, monthly maybe if I have enough because I think it's a great way to bring recognition to great writers on this platform.
Some of the summaries are by me and some are just copied and pasted from the post.
Firstly I'd like to recommend my favourite author for harry potter fanfic, who inspired me to start writing in the first place. This is the only rec I have from Wattpad so I thought I would do it first. They also write for almost everyone, so it doesn't really fit in with the rest.
Harry Potter One Shots (Vol. 1) - @everlovingdeer
SIRIUS BLACK
Study Buddy by @unfortunatelysirius - "You’re Sirius’s History of Magic tutor, but it occurs to you that maybe he doesn’t need the extra help."
They're Just Girls by @hermioneshandbag - A Sirius version of the Jily love story.
Smile by @midnighttmarauder - Sirius gets a letter from home and the reader comforts him.
Babe, you're a habit by @jamcspotters - Muggle au. “The number one rule of friends with benefits is no feelings involved, and, you think you just broke it.”
Don't You Mind by @hermioneshandbag - Friends to lovers but they both think it's unrequited.
The Five Times Sirius Felt Time Stop by @wizardwritings - "Sirius Black could only recall five times in his life when he felt as if time stopped. All those times just happened to revolve around you."
Wasn't Expecting That by @spideyxxboi - "You and Sirius have a secret relationship and don’t know how to tell the other boys until they accidentally walk in on something they weren’t expecting."
About what I said last night by @rainandhotchocolate - Sirius and his girlfriend get into a fight before she leaves for a mission where she is injured.
potter. by @mellifluousmalfoy - Soulmate AU and friends to lovers in one.
How to Fall in Love: For Dummies by @wizardwritings - "Modern AU. you and Sirius have been best friends for years now, but after six months of living with him, you realize that maybe you liked him as more than a friend. The plan? To make him realize the same thing in just three, foolproof steps."
the feeling that we're meeting by @writesowhatnext - "Sirius Black has never liked the reader and this he made known. Maybe it’s because she’s a Slytherin. Maybe it was the bat-bogey hex. Strange, though, how things change with a war in full throttle."
The risk of love by @with-love-anu - "Sirius had been your bestfriend since forever. Things change when he runs away from home"
Baby Fever by @vampirestookmydoubts - Sirius and the reader disagree on having a child.
The way you look at her by @theweasleysredhair - Maybe there really is a fine line between hate and love.
Style by @userinejghafa - you’re the only one for sirius black and the thought overwhelms him.
REMUS LUPIN
Cold Cold Cold by @pronqzz - Essentially where Remus and the reader have some relationship problems.
Happily Ever After by @sleekeazyz - Pretty much post-war fluff with a hint of angst.
This isn't how it ends by @lilysevans-archive - The beginning of the relationship between the reader and Remus with a bump in the road. A headcanon.
Drunk by @futurewriter2000 - Remus puts his drunk girlfriend to bed.
White Lies by @jamcspotters - “I’m sick of you lying to me, Remus. Aren’t we best friends?” with those words, you turned around, walking out of his dorm with heavy steps and an even heavier heart.
Full Moon by @theweasleysredhair - After a particularly bad full moon, Y/n decides it’s time to admit that she knows all about Remus’ little secret, especially since she’s known for years.
Reasons by @drxcodormixns - “I said you couldn’t fall in love with me, but I didn’t say I couldn’t fall in love with you.”
Selfish 1/2 2/2 by @aspiringauthorintraining - best friends realise and eventually confess that they in fact love one another.
Only Love by @imaginesfrommetoyou - Remus and the reader have a secret relationship.
My Heart by @swellwriting - James' sister confesses her feelings for Remus in the infirmary
JAMES POTTER
Promises by @jamcspotters - “After days of hiding from your best friend, forced proximity may just be what it takes for secrets to be revealed.”
Why? by @futurewriter2000 - Jily but with the reader not lily.
Players Cigarette Mate by @amarauder - "in which a girl's bad habit turns into a good one."
The Girl Next Door And The Five Times She Stopped Time by @wreckofawriter - "James slowly begins to fall in love with the girl next door'
misconceptions by @siriusmuch - "james has been telling the marauders all about just how amazing you are. one day, you overhear and get the wrong message from the conversation."
After Quidditch by @intoanothermind - "I was almost too late and almost lost the best thing that happened to me in my life because I was too stubborn"
Always have by @awritingtree - "James and Y/N have always been two peas in a pod, never straying far from the other. Even through James’ endless pining and ramblings about his ‘Lilyflower’, Y/N never left his side. But what happens when Lily’s rejections go too far one day? And what happens when Y/N realizes she’s starting developing feelings for her best friend?"
DRACO MALFOY
The Relationship Formula by @wizardwritings - An arranged marriage between two purebloods.
Play Pretend by @wondernimbus - "in which two people are forced into marriage; reader falls in love. draco doesn’t."
THEODORE NOTT
Stoic Manners and Shy Smiles by @imintofictionalmen - Theo and reader catch feelings for one another but Theo isn't to good at communication.
Did I Mention by @kayesfictioncharactershusbands - "You didn't know when it started, or how it started. You just hate Theodore Nott. And same goes for him. But what if did I mention he also likes you? But one certain word made you slapped Theo because he was jealous. That you didn't know of."
Summary - based on “peace” by Taylor Swift. Or where Cedric Diggory and his girlfriend live through the second wizarding war while attempting to maintain as much peace as possible.
Warnings - Mentions of the cruciatus curse. Depression and maybe other mental health problems. Not proofread.
Word count - 6,602
Reading time - 24 mins
***
Our coming-of-age has come and gone
Suddenly the summer, it's clear
When Cedric Diggory met Y/n L/n all those years ago on their first trip on the Hogwarts express he could never have guessed how important the young Slytherin would become to him. They had instantaneously become best friends and remained as such until the start of their 6th year.
When she had heard he was planning on entering the Triwizard Tournament she was so upset with him that she didn't talk to him for three entire weeks. It had taken him locking her in her empty dorm room in the dungeons and not letting her out until he explained himself for her to even begin to come round to the idea.
"It's dangerous Cedric, I don't like it one bit," she told him with her arms crossed over her chest "I have a bad feeling about it, what if you get hurt"
"I won't get hurt Y/n, they said it's safer this time" he attempted to reassure her but she didn't believe him "just trust me, love," the pet name was all it took for her to crumble and accept that he was going to put his name in the cup whether she wanted him to or not.
"Fine, but I still don't like this Ced" she mumbled and he just grinned, having got what he wanted. He knew he wouldn't be able to go through with it had she not approved, he valued her opinion too much.
The night his name was pulled from the cup he kissed her for the first time, sneaking her into his dorm after the celebration party. And that night she became his, and vice versa.
Her bad feeling about the tournament had been correct. Her beloved boyfriend was subjected to the crucitus curse for almost an hour while 14-year-old Harry Potter watched. He came back little but a shell of himself and was only just able to recover in st mungos, but he wasn't the same even years later. That was no surprise, something changes in a person when you are almost tortured into insanity.
But that was almost two years ago now. After their 7th year, which Cedric was luckily able to attend the second half of after around 6 months in the hospital, they moved into a homely cottage in Devon, not far from his parents who he wanted to stay close to. The peaceful atmosphere that the countryside provided them with worked as a welcome distraction from the war raging on in their country and community.
It was a warm Saturday afternoon in the midst of summer and y/n had decided to make the pair a small lunch to enjoy in the garden. It was nothing more than sandwiches and crisps, but Cedric appreciated everything she ever did for him. She brought the food out to the garden and he smiled up at her as she placed it down on their garden table. He had a cigarette resting between his lips, a nasty habit he had picked up after he left the hospital.
"Thank you darling, it looks lovely," he told her gratefully and she gave him a kind smile, appreciating the compliment. He watched her as she sat down in the chair opposite his, her summer dress the perfect purple.
He stubbed out his cigarette on the ashtray in the centre of the table and grabbed one of the sandwiches from the plate she had brought out.
"It's getting pretty bad at the ministry, you can tell something is going on. No one trusts anyone, not even people they've been friends with their whole life" he told her after swallowing the final bite of his sandwich. She looked up from the book she was reading with furrowed brows, a frow evident on every part of her face.
"I guess it's to be expected, given the current climate. Sad though" she spoke softly, thinking over her words carefully before speaking. The pair had grown used to how things were, they had known after all that Voldemort was back a year before the rest of the wizarding world, everyone's denial had run deep. The sound of the ocean crashing onto the beach just out of sight brought her out of her thoughts, and he watched her.
"I'm struggling to see when things will get better, it's getting worse every day" he confessed, and her frown deepened.
"I'm sure things will reach a boiling point. It will be ugly and I'm sure very violent but I don't see another way this could end" she told him, violence was everything the pair wanted to avoid in life. He had already faced too much.
I never had the courage of my convictions
As long as danger is near
Bill and Fleur's wedding stuck out like a sore thumb. It didn't at all feel like the appropriate time for such an event, especially when so many of the guests had to either use poly juice potions to attend or couldn't make it at all.
Cedric had been largely confused when the invite had been delivered by the couple's owl, and he expressed this confusion to his girlfriend after walking out to meet her in their garden that she was tending to.
"I think it's the perfect time for a wedding, reminds us all that there's still love in the world," she told him as he sat down beside her. She pulled off her muddy gloves and wrapped her arms around him, he returned the gesture happily and decided that he liked her opinion on the subject, but thought that no one would ever need to show him that love still existed in the world so long as she was there.
"You look beautiful," he told her as she came out of the bathroom, her hair curled perfectly and the blue dress complimenting her tone delicately.
"As do you" she smiled up at him as she come to stand in front of him, fixing his tie that was slightly askew over his chest.
"I'm excited to see everyone, it feels like it's been ages," he told her as he slipped his fingers through her hair, she looked up at him through her eyelashes and for a moment he forgot how to breathe.
"It has been ages, other than Fleur and your parents I've not seen anyone in weeks," she told, finally turning away from him and grabbing her purse from their bed. "Have you checked the door is locked?"
The wedding was beautiful, it was held in the Weasleys back garden which was decorated perfectly. Mrs Weasley had done what everyone knew she would and cooked an amazing meal, and by evening the guests were positively drunk and enjoying themselves for the first time in a while for many.
"You make a beautiful bride Fleur," Y/n told her close friend, they had become friends during the tournament and for whatever reason, the friendship stuck. She was one of the only people she saw, only living over the hill from her and Cedric.
"Thank you ma belle, I'm sure it will be you soon enough" she grinned, eyeing Cedric standing in the corner of the room talking to Mr Weasley and Charlie
"Maybe" the younger girl blushed and Fleur laughed at her reaction
"Y/n!" Marietta Edgecombe's voice came from behind her, she gave fleur one last hug before turning to face the girl she had befriended alongside Cedric back in her first year. They had mostly lost contact after they left school, likely because she and Cedric had gone into partial hiding and were pretty hard to find.
"Marietta, how you are!" she was truly happy to see her, she was a lovely girl during school and had always been a good friend to her. She was the one who informed her of her very obvious feelings for her at the time best friend.
"Oh alright, better than some I'm sure. You and Ced still going strong I see" she exclaimed, and at the mention of the name she subconsciously glanced around the room to try and find him, only she couldn't.
"As ever. What have you been up to" before the Ravenclaw girl could say anything they were interrupted as they were pushed back slightly into a circle.
The room had grown dark and a small glowing orb had flown into the tent. Everyone surrounded it in anticipation, it looked like a Patronus. Suddenly it began talking, the voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt the only noise to be heard, everything had fallen silent.
"The ministry has fallen. The minister of magic is dead. They are coming." the last sentence echoed three times before the Patronus disappeared, Molly Weasley began ushering people out of the tent, but Y/n had frozen in her spot. They are coming.
Before she knew what was happening guests started disapparating and as quickly as they left death eaters appeared in their place. She knew she had to find Cedric, that they needed to get home. But she couldn't move. Marietta had disappeared into the crowd and spells were being shot past her from every direction, some missing her by millimetres. She never did well in dangerous situations, that's why Cedric had been the one to put his name in the cup and not her. She didn't even react when she caught sight of her estranged brother making his way toward her quickly, he hadn't been invited to the wedding.
The last thing she heard before someone grabbed her was the shouting of her name. When she opened her eyes she was standing in her unlit kitchen, like she had been there the entire time.
"What were you thinking, you were right in the crossfire and didn't even move" she heard Cedric yelling as he pulled his suit jacket off and loosened his tie, undoing the top button.
"I-" she didn't know what to say to defend herself. He was right after all. She had just stood there as people tried to kill each other around her. Had she been just one step to either side of where she was she would probably be dead, the only reason she wasn't was because he had grabbed her just in time.
"You could have been killed" he mirrored her thoughts, and she reached up to wipe the corner of her eye, feeling a tear attempt to fall "Your brother was about to attack you!"
She heard him sigh as he watched how dissociated she looked, it was as though she had just had a drink too many. The look on her face didn't at all represent what had just happened.
He opened the fridge which was to their right and grabbed a bottle of water, handing it to her. After she had placed the bottle down he wrapped her in his arms as multiple tears finally fell down her face.
"I'm sorry" she whispered into his chest, he patted the crown of her head, leaving a kiss on her forehead.
"I just get frightened when I see you in these situations, I have no idea what I'd do if anything happened to you" he responded gently and she nodded slightly, looking into his eyes that were visible to her because of the refrigerator light that illuminated the room. "We're all right" as though having to remind himself.
And it's just around the corner, darling
'Cause it lives in me
No, I could never give you peace
Unlike Cedric, Y/n's relationship with her parents was very difficult. They were everything Y/n disagreed with. Her parents had a lot of pride in their blood status. Though her mother didn't have the mark she did everything she could to accommodate Voldemort.
Her father and older brother on the other hand had taken the mark as soon as they were asked to, her father at the beginning of the first wizarding war and her brother at the beginning of the second. Her dad had even been in the graveyard when Cedric had been tortured. Up until that point, she believed he had liked her long time friend, or at least tolerated him.
The only thing holding back her little sister was her age, she was still in Hogwarts and teenage girls weren't really Voldemort's main demographic.
It had been when Cedric was still in the hospital when she discovered her father's part in the whole situation. When she confronted them he had told her to stop resisting her natural destiny and to join them on the right side. She had been disowned that night and hadn't seen anything of her parents since. She saw her sister at school, but the younger girl acted as though she had never seen her before.
Cedric still went to work after they left Hogwarts, but outwith that the couple were largely in hiding. They hadn't had much choice when her brother had threatened to show her the side she was bound to be on, insinuating that he would do what he had to clear her vision. He threatened her with this when Dumbledore was still alive, in a crowded Diagon alley, so she feared to know what he would do now.
The only people who knew where the pair lived were his parents, Fleur, and by association Bill. Cedric had decided to be their secret keeper, knowing the fate of the likes of the potters and not willing to risk it.
She of course felt increasingly guilty as she watched the isolation begin to affect her boyfriend. Had he been with someone else, someone with a normal family, he likely wouldn't need to go into hiding for a while. It was undeniable that after Voldemort got rid of all his imminent enemies Cedric Diggory was exactly the type of man he would go for, but that day hadn't come yet. They weren't yet hiding from the wizard who had his claws in every aspect of their lives, but rather from her murderous, psychotic family.
But I'm a fire, and I'll keep your brittle heart warm
If your cascade ocean wave blues come
The effects of the cruciatus curse still ran deep in Cedric. It came in waves, and recently he had been having a relatively good time with it. However one night this changed and she knew they were back where they were a few months ago when his last bad episode had been upon them. His good weeks were good and his bad were terrible.
She had awoken that night to him breathing heavily beside her and a noise that almost sounded like whimpering falling from his lips as he thrashed around in the covers, she had seen these nightmares far too many times to not know what they were.
"Cedric. Cedric wake up" she shook him awake and as his eyes shot open he sat up swiftly, his hands covering his face as he attempted to catch his breath. He allowed himself to lie back in the bed as she hovered over him slightly.
"It's alright, it was just a dream" she whispered and a quiet sob left his lips as he began to wake up more, coming to realise what had happened again. He rolled over slightly so he was laying on his side, pulling her as close to him as he could "You're safe baby"
She wasn't shocked the next morning to realise that by 1pm he still wasn't out of bed. She considered sending a letter to the ministry to inform them he would be off sick for the day but decided against it, from what she had heard the ministry was in disarray, she was sure they wouldn't question why he hadn't shown up for work.
"Ced are you getting up," she asked him gently as she entered the still dark room. He was lying on his back staring up at the roof, after waiting a few seconds and receiving no response she decided to fix him some food before returning. She left the food on his bedside table, he didn't even react to her presence. You would think she was invisible.
She decided it would be best if she wrote to his parents. They would be expecting them that evening as they would go to Cedric's childhood home every Friday for a family dinner. She doubted greatly that he would be up to it as these episodes tend to last days at least.
A few weeks passed and there was little improvement within the house. Cedric had started coming down to the kitchen to grab food, but other than that he barely left his bed. She would attempt to get him to come out and sit in the garden for a while but he never did, he would just turn away from her and trot back up the stairs without a word.
"Can you come down to the living room and watch a film with me?" she asked him as she opened the door to the spare bedroom. He hadn't been sleeping in their shared bedroom for days now. He grumbled in acknowledgement but didn't make to get out of bed. His back was facing her as he lay in the pitch-black room, the light from the doorway being all that allowed her to see his silhouette. All she knew was that he wasn't going to get better like this and that she was beginning to feel increasingly lonely.
"Ced please" she pleaded, her voice sounding desperate. He didn't show any signs that he had heard her, after a few moments of waiting she sighed before turning and shutting the door, making her way down to the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of wine.
After around half an hour of watching a muggle movie on the TV they had bought in a local town, she heard footsteps approaching her from behind. Turning around she saw Cedric at the bottom of the stairs, looking over at her. He was only in a pair of red pyjama bottoms, his upper body exposed.
"Come on" she whispered as she opened her arms to him, the blanket around her raising as she did so. He moved towards her, sitting down beside her and pulling the blanket over the both of them. He wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head against his chest, continuing the watch the film that was playing as they got comfortable.
"I love you" he whispered and she nodded "and I'm sorry, I know I'm not an easy person to be with. I'm trying my best" his voice, if possible, dropped an octave and she looked up at him when she heard his voice crack. It was clear he had been crying.
"I love you too much to care if you're an easy person to be with. And it's not your fault, given everything that's happened I think you handle it gracefully" he smiled at her and she reached up, wiping the single tear that fell down his face.
"I don't deserve you," he told her and he shook her automatically.
"Yes, you do Ced. You deserve to be happy and loved"
The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me
Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?
Voldemort's power only continued to grow after he took over the ministry. The young couple had to go into complete hiding, Bill Weasley apparating to their house to tell them that the dark wizard's followers were looking for Cedric and that they had to hide. And they did just that. They would only leave the house to go to either his parent's house or Bill and Fleurs. Other than that they didn't leave. She had been living this way for months, or since her parents had disowned her, but he hadn't.
He had gotten better since his last bout of depression, which surprised everyone who knew given their situation, it was expected to get worse before it would get better.
it was of course frightening that multiple dark wizards were out to get them both, that there were many places in the country they would make it out of alive. But Cedric had always known that they would come for him as soon as they had the time, Voldemort didn't like that he had escaped him and they both knew that.
It was that same day that Bill had also informed them that nobody had seen Harry, Ron or Hermione since the wedding. And that the Order believed they were preparing for something.
Most of their evenings are spent the same way. They would have their dinner before moving into the living room and watching tv until they fell asleep, illuminated by nothing but the white light from the screen. Sometimes his parents would come over to visit, or they would visit his parents. These evenings were always appreciated, as they broke up the very repetitive cycle they were living through.
During the day Cedric would go on a long walk along the beach behind their house, there was never anybody on the beach, so they decided it was safe for him to do so. She would sometimes join him but most of the time she would tend to their large garden, waiting for him to open the garden fence after returning from his walk.
Their garden was the best aspect of their house. It had multiple large flower beds, all of which she had decorated with a variety of different flowers. In the back corner, there was a small pond and a vegetable patch. Her garden was one of her biggest achievements.
She was on her knees in front of the vegetable patch, planting a new packet of carrots that Cedric's mother brought her a few days prior. She glanced down at her watch and realised he had been gone just over an hour and noticed he would be returning home soon.
Just as her mind wandered back to the task at hand she heard the garden fence creek open and swivelled around to see who it was, her heart rate increasing. She placed her hand over her chest when she saw it was just him.
"Sorry love, didn't mean to frighten you" Cedric's voice floated over the garden as he approached her, a small smile gracing his features.
"How was your walk?" she asked him as he settled down beside her, his light brown trousers a contrast to the green grass, one she was sure would stain. She placed the green trowel down beside her and brushed her hands off on the cloth she had over her lap.
Turning to face him she felt that familiar feeling of butterflies in her stomach, a feeling that felt like it hadn't left since she met him 9 years ago.
"Nice, I saw a couple walking along the road at the end of the beach, I think they were muggles though," he told her and she raised her eyebrows at this, feeling concerned at the news.
"Did they see you?" she asked, her eyes snapping behind him as she looked out over the fence. He noticed her actions and patted her lap.
"No, they never. Don't worry darling I placed an invisibility charm and came home once I saw them" satisfied that he had assured her everything was fine they settled into a comfortable silence. She had begun planting some primrose when he got her attention once more.
"It's exceptionally lonely living like this isn't it?" he whispered, she turned to look at him with a sad smile.
"Ye, it is. I miss our friends and family" she agreed
"I'm glad I have you, I dunno if I could do it without you” he confessed and she held his eye, knowing what he meant. She too didn’t think she would have managed to survive these last few years without him by her side. He wasn’t just her boyfriend, he was her best friend and soulmate. He made even the hardest of times okay.
“And you’ll always have me Ced, you’re my best friend and always have been,” she told him and he laughed at her words, for though the term ‘best friend’ sounded far too simplistic and casual to describe what they felt for one another yet he found that she was correct.
“You’ll always have a friend in me” he whispered, something they used to tell each other before they dated.
And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences
Sit with you in the trenches
It had been a spring night like every other. The couple were wrapped in blankets in front of the television, preparing to head to bed after this episode as it was nearing midnight. However, just as pulled herself apart from him to attempt to clean the living room before they would go to bed somebody apparated within the wards protecting their home.
Cedric had jumped up from the couch at the loud snapping sound, pushing the girl behind him and grabbing his wand, holding it in front of him. The tension left both their bodies when the figure of Bill Weasley rounded the corner, Fleur Delacour following behind. Despite the relief that overcame them Cedric kept his wand up, stopping her from stepping around him and approaching the couple they hadn't seen in 9 months.
"It's us mate, my mum and dad sent us to get you," Bill told him, lowering the wand that he two had raised. Cedric remained defensive.
"Ced, what are you doing," Y/n asked from behind him. Fleur was looking at her with a sad look on her face. They had all been friends for many years now, it was sad that the climate hadn't gotten to frightening that you couldn't even trust your friends.
"Sorry" he mumbled after staring at Bill for a while longer.
"It's alright," Bill said quickly. Stepping into the room.
"They think there's about to be a battle. Ron, Harry and Hermione are at Hogwarts and from what we've heard Voldemorts is on his way. We have to get there as soon as we can" Bill broke the news and Cedric let out a shuddered sigh. He turned to look at his girlfriend behind him and with just one look they had both agreed on what they had to do. No matter how sceptical she was to allow him in any sort of violent situation she knew this was something they had to do.
Within five minutes they had opened up their fireplace for the first time in what felt like forever and travelled to the hogshead pub then quickly made their way to Hogwarts.
That had been over two hours ago. Once they had entered the castle they were separated almost instantly, with nothing but a quick kiss to the side of her forehead in goodbye. The castle had finally fallen quiet as she ran down every corridor she could remember from her days at school, searching for any sign of Cedric. She couldn't quite bring herself to go to the great hall, where she knew the discovered dead were being held. Every corridor she found to search as a delay to what could be life-ruining news.
Exiting one hallway she stumbled into the main stairwell, which looked extraordinarily different to how it had when she had been at school. Sat atop the first flight were Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley. Having heard the footsteps approaching the couple's heads had shot up to see who it was, visibly relaxing when they noticed it was the familiar girl.
Hermione gave her a small, tired smile that she returned quickly.
"Are you both alright?" she asked, and they both nodded. "Have either of you seen Cedric"
"No, not that I remember anyway. You should check the hall" Ron told her, it sounded like he had been crying.
"Have you been yet?" she asked them, Hermione told her they had and that it was bad, though Ron never said another thing to the girl rather looking down at his hands.
Making her way to the large hallway she let her eyes roam over the people she could see. Her heart stopped for a second when she saw the lifeless bodies of Professor Lupin, his wife and Fred Weasley. She had heard only last month that the couple had welcomed their first child. And she knew Fred from their time at school together, he and Cedric had been friends. She would have considered him one too.
Then she saw Colin Creavy, a boy visibly younger than any of the other casualties in the hall. A tear slipped down her face when she noticed the sheer number of people around her, who had been alive only hours ago. At long last she spied Cedric sitting against a wall, his face buried in his hands. She ran over to him as quickly as her legs would allow, coming to a still in front of him.
"Ced" she whispered, his head shooting up at the sound of her voice.
"Darling, oh thank goodness" he mumbled, standing up to meet her and wrap his arms around her body "Are you hurt, are you okay?" he asked her, his hand framing her face as he scanned her face, ensuring she looked okay
"I'm fine, Are you?" she asked concerned.
“I’m alright”
They allowed themselves to sit down, watching the people in the hall. They were relieved to see many familiar faces that had survived, however the bodies of those lost looked over them. Another tear ran down her face.
“It will all be over soon” he whispered from beside her and done her best with the little energy she had left to nod.
Give you my wild, give you a child
Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other
Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother
Life had changed drastically after the war ended. After the initial happiness and relief had faded witches and wizards all over the country were left with the reality of the horrors they had faced for years, horrors they now had to recover from. However, with time this recovery started to show. Diagon Alley was once again bustling, and Hogwarts was back to how it once had been. And for the first time in a very long time, you could hear laughter in the streets, at parties, even at work.
2 years later and the newlywed couple living in Devon were much like everyone else. They were doing their best to recover from the long years they had just faced. More and more Y/n was seeing the side to Cedric that she hadn't seen since the early days of high school. Of course, he still had his bad days, but these were growing few and far between.
What the pair had missed most during the war was seeing their friends and family. The isolation had been indescribably difficult and finally being able to see people had been one of the best parts of the recovery.
It was a rainy afternoon in early spring and Ginny and Harry were over for afternoon tea. The couple had brought his god-son Teddy along as he was staying with them for the weekend.
"And how are things over in the Department of Magical Games and Sports," Harry asked from across the table. He and Ginny had barely been seen, alongside Ron and Hermione, for well over a year and had only very recently entered the wizarding world again. The now 20-year-olds were very different to what Cedric and Y/n had remembered.
"Oh it's alright, the quidditch world cup is looking like it will be good this year. You guys planning on going?" Cedric asked. He had moved departments when he returned after the war, leaning into something he was actually interested in rather than what his parents wanted him to do.
The two and a half-year-old who had been pre-occupied in the living room had come running through to the dining room, climbing onto Ginny's lap. Y/n watched the interaction fondly but returned to the conversation within a few minutes. He had grown so much since she had last seen him, he was unrecognisable.
"Perhaps, we want to take Teddy to his first match" Harry answered and Cedric nodded in acknowledgement. The little boy's head had popped up to look at his godfather after hearing his name and harry simply laughed, reaching out to ruffle his hair.
After they had eaten they moved to the living room. Y/n sat with ginny and discussed many things. They had never been particularly close in school, having a 4 year age gap in school tended to prevent any friendships. However, during the war, they had become friends, especially when Cedric was still at work. Harry and Cedric were sat on the other side of the room, the young boy sat between them trying to be involved in the conversation.
At many points, she looks over to the group of three and feels her heart swell slightly at the sight of her husband and the young child. Ginny gently cleared her throat beside her. She turned to look back at the ginger girl, pretending she hadn't been caught watching them.
A few hours later the three left and the couple set about making their dinner and relaxing before bed. They were cuddled under a blanket in front of the television eating the pasta and chicken he had made when he cleared his throat, causing her to look up at him.
"Do you want any?" he asked her. She furrowed her brows at the question, not understanding what he was referencing.
"Do I want any what?" she returned and he sat up, placing his bowl on the coffee table.
"Children," He said simply. Her eyes widened at his answer and she rested her bowl on her leg. He watched her as considered her answer.
"Ye, I think so" she answered and he smiled
"You always said when we were younger that you couldn't see yourself with children," he said quietly and she frowned, forgetting that she had once had the mindset before she and Cedric were together.
"That was before I was with you. I'd never want them with anyone else" she told him and he laughed at her.
"I'd never want kids with anyone but you either darling," he told her and she smiled.
"Do you want them?" she asked.
"Ye, more than anything. Imagine a little mixture of me and you running about. And we have the perfect house for children" she leaned in against him, his arm wrapping around her shoulders as they settled back into the silence.
"You need to quit smoking first," she told him halfheartedly
It was 4 months later when the leaves began to change. The world was painted a beautiful orange and the air had grown cold. The couple were holding a small get together in their home one Saturday afternoon. His parents and their friends were sat in the living room as the smell of the cooking dinner swept through the home.
“How have you been darling,” his mother asked her as she sat down next to her. Cedric was across the room discussing something with Bill Weasley, who was keeping a watchful eye on his heavily pregnant wife.
“Oh I’m fine, I’m glad Ceds back at work, he’s much happier. He loves that job” the young woman told the older witch.
“He has been much happier recently I agree, Amos and I noticed it a few months ago,” she told her, resting a hand on her arm
“I know how difficult things have been for you two, given everything that’s happened with him. And I just want you to know that Amos and I, we are so happy he has you. We don’t know what he would have done had he not” she whispered, earning a small smile in response.
“I’m all honestly Mrs Diggory, I don’t know what I would have done without him either. He’s one of the best things that ever happened to me, even with the circumstances”
Cedric had exited the room a few seconds late, motioning subtly for her to follow. She excused herself from the room, telling the group she had to check on the food, and followed him outside. He was standing on the patio looking out at the water when she stood beside him.
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into his side, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and mumbling I love you.
They stood in silence for a few more seconds before he spoke. “Are you ready?” he asked, and she looked up at him smiling.
“Ye, I’m ready”
An hour later they were sitting around the circular dining table, most people finishing off their meal. Cedric cleared his throat, the room quickly falling silent as a result.
“So I’m sure you’re wondering why we decided to hold this get together today” he started, all eyes on him. His mother raised her eyebrows and the young woman felt her eyes fall onto her. She assumed she had worked it out.
“We have some news, some really great news” he continued, holding her hand under the table, and looking over at her with a look filled with so much love it was overwhelming.
“Well, don’t leave us hanging!” George Weasley joked as the silence protruded
“I’m pregnant”
5 months later
The late summer air had finally started to cool, the last couple of weeks being the hottest anyone can remember in England for many years. The start of the sunset cast an orange glow around the garden and the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore just below fused with the sound of the radio floating out of the kitchen.
"Darling would you like me to pop out and get something for dinner?" Cedric's voice carried across to her as he popped his head out of the open patio doors.
"I think we should have something in the fridge, I think there's leftover salad and avocado from the other night" the woman responded from her place and sat down in the garden. He disappeared again before making his way over to her no more than 5 minutes later. He sat across from her on the picnic blanket and gave her a small tired smile before looking down at the small baby lying in between them.
"I can't believe he's real" He whispered more to himself than to her. His hand gently came up and he ran a finger down the side of his newborn baby's face, making sure not to wake the, finally, sleeping child.
"Me neither" Y/n responded after a few moments.
"You really made him" he continued.
"We both did, he was made by both of us, and somehow we managed to make the most perfect thing on earth," she said, leaning over and resting her head on her husband's shoulder. They had gotten married only 3 months before their baby was born.
"Archie Amos Diggory how lucky we are to have you" she continued. and Cedric laughed gently, looking down at her and pecking her lips.
"How lucky we are to have you indeed" he repeated.
For the first time since they were 17, the couple felt nothing but happiness. What had felt like the impossible for so long had finally become their reality. At 25 they were living the life they had always wanted. They had peace and all thanks to one another.
Summary - The war ruined many things, including Regulus Blacks relationship. Or did it?. OR. Based on tis the damn season by Taylor Swift.
Warning: swearing. Nothing else I can think of. Not a huge fan of the Epilogue but I tried to rewrite it 3 times and never liked it so it is what it is. Hasn't yet been proofread and was half-written at 4 am.
Word count: 4,578
Reading Time: 16 mins 39 secs
***
If I wanted to know who you were hanging with
While I was gone I would have asked you
After the war ended in 1981, large numbers of witches and wizards left Britain to start a new life away from the memories that had tainted the grounds at home. Y/n was one of these witches. She had moved to France before the year was over and only returned once a year at Christmas time.
It was always nice to see her friends again. She missed them when she was away. The limited-time they had together was spent catching up and relaxing after another often stressful year.
Currently, she was sitting around one of her old best friends dining table with 7 of their school friends. It had been a busy year for the group. Elsbeth Macdonald, Y/n's old roommate, had recently become Elsbeth Rowle after marrying her Hogwarts sweetheart Fenris in the autumn.
The newlyweds were sat next to each other across the table and next to them sat Evangeline Burke and Jamie Fawley. The two had become parents within only months of each other. Y/n was yet to meet the next generation of the friend group, however was sure she would in due time.
Then there was Ophelia Rookwood, who had been promoted to head of Magic Law Enforcement In January and was doing everything she had planned to do while in school.
Finally, sitting next to Y/n, was her ex-boyfriend. Regulus Black. They had been disgustingly in love for 5 years, then one day to everyone's surprise they ended. The pair had been making small talk, discussing their families and jobs, as one does with their ex-partner.
"I was seeing someone," He told her as he picked up his fork, looking away from her as the words tumbled from his lips. She felt her heart begin the sink a little bit, she had only ever been on dates since their breakup, and nothing ever got past the first date.
"Oh ye?" She asked, attempting not to sound as if the news bothered her.
"Ye, Eden Greengrass" He responded simply. The group had all split into separate conversations by this point in the afternoon, and good thing because this conversation would have been nothing but awkward if it had to happen with everyone involved "It's over though, I ended it about a month ago" she simply responded with a small murmur of acknowledgement.
There's an ache in you put there by the ache in me
But if it's all the same to you
It's the same to me
Their breakup had been a surprise to everyone who knew them, however it was quickly put down to the aftermath of the war and was believed to have had nothing to do with their love for one another. They like many others had survived the war together, yet the relationship couldn't survive the healing that was needed afterwards.
They had attempted to make it last, but within only a month they had separated and the 20-year-old witch had moved overseas. Her immense amount of trauma from the things she had seen resulted in the quick deterioration of almost everything in her life, including him.
And no matter how hard she tried to move on she couldn't. She would go on dates and none of them would compare to him. They never lived up to what she wanted them to be, but how could they when she viewed him as nothing short of perfect. And even more so the way she felt when she was with him was perfect, and no one would ever be able to replicate that.
She never knew that he was experiencing the same thing. He got a lot further than she did in his attempts at a relationship, however as soon as they began asking what their relationship was he would end up leaving.
But during the holidays it was as if nothing had happened, or rather nothing had gone wrong. She treated him the way she used to and he pretended that this was enough for him, that two weeks out of the year was long enough to keep him going. In response, she would pretend that she didn't know this was what he wanted all year round, and would bury the thought that it's all she could dream off.
So we could call it even
You could call me babe for the weekend
'Tis the damn season, write this down
After only being back two days she was staying at their once shared townhouse in central London, having inherited a small fortune each and investing in the property while still together. They easily fell into a routine similar to that of what they had before the breakup, only easier.
There wasn't the pressure of making it work because they both knew they weren't together, and they didn't have the worries caused by the war. For 2 weeks they could happily pretend nothing had ever gone wrong, that the war hadn't happened and that they weren't both fairly traumatised from the horrors of their younger years.
The sound of the shower running up the stairs was the only thing that could be heard in the house. Y/n was in the large kitchen attempting to cook them dinner in the muggle way. Busying herself with cutting the vegetables she never noticed their old tabby cat entering the kitchen.
She gave a small gasp when she felt the small creature brush past her leg, before letting about a laugh and kneeling down the cats level.
"Hello darling, what are you doing sneaking up on me?" she ran her hand down the cats back as it purred. "I missed you goldie"
Little did she know that Regulus had made his way down the stairs, having had his shower and smelt that she was cooking downstairs, coming to meet her in nothing but a towel. When she came into view he found himself resting against the doorway, watching her in their kitchen like she'd never left. A smile graced his face as he watched her looking so natural in their place, looking as beautiful as she always did.
"What are you cooking babe," he asked her, making his presence known. She straightened up and turned to look at him, returning the smile he was giving her.
"Well I'm attempting to make vegetable soup, but it's not going to be great" they laughed at her statement, it was well known between the two that she wasn't the best cook.
"Why didn't you get Kreacher to make it," stepping behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, watching over her shoulder as she continued cutting the vegetables into what were meant to be equal-sized pieces.
"He's gone to sleep I think, and I didn't want to disturb him. He's been working even harder since I've come back" she told him and he left a gentle kiss to the back of her neck in response, mumbled a small 'of course'. He had always loved that she valued their house-elf, that she didn't treat him the way many with their upbringing did.
I'm stayin' at my parents' house
And the road not taken looks real good now
And it always leads to you in my hometown
Whenever she didn't stay the night at Regulus' she would stay at her family home in the countryside of greater London. These nights were few and far between during the weeks she was home, but she knew she had to see her parents at some point during the year. Even if their relationship was complicated.
"And how is Regulus doing these days," her father asked her over the dinner table, her mother glancing up at her after hearing the question.
"He's doing well, he's been promoted at the ministry" she responded, digging into her food once again to attempt to avoid any further questions.
"Are you back together?" her mother now asked, putting her fork down and dabbing the corner of her mouth with her napkin.
"No, not really" her short response didn't go down well with either of her parent's, it was clear they perceived it as rude.
"You stay at his house, or should I say your old house, almost every night. How aren't you back together" the older witch snapped
"I don't know how many times I need to tell you mother, it's a complicated situation. It has been for a long time" she sighed and her mum scoffed at the answer she received.
"I don't understand what's complicated about it, we understand that the war was difficult for you, but it was difficult for everyone. But most don't run off to a preposterous muggle village and cosplay as one of them" her mother's voice flew over her head, the hatred crystal clear in her tone.
She was used to the sly, demeaning remarks regarding her relationship with the youngest Black son and the way she chose to live her life after the war. When they had only been together for around 3 months their parents had begun planning their marriage. It had been perfect for them, two pureblood children who had gotten together of their own accord. It was perfect until they then broke up of their own accord, or rather her own accord.
"For a lot of people what you went through would be easy" her father finally spoke up "Just look at your brothers" Her head snapped up at this statement, standing abruptly from the table.
"Albion and Beyron were death eaters Father, all the suffering they faced and will continue to face is of their own doing. They are the only people to blame," she snapped and her mother rolled her eyes.
"And what did your dear Regulus do during the war?" the matriarchy of the family snarked. The loyalty for her older brothers still ran deep within the family, even as they rot in a cell miles away in Azkaban. Any disrespect to their name within the house was never taken well.
"He was 16, he never got the choice. He done what he had to do not only to survive but to keep me alive. They made a decision at 25 years old and made that choice a reality. No one forced their arm out" turning swiftly on her heel she exited the room, hearing her dad mumble 'what will we do with her' before she shut the door on them. Quickly making her way to her childhood bedroom she collapsed on the bed, sighing.
The more she let herself think about it the more she regretted leaving Regulus that day. Had she not they'd likely be married by now. She'd have a new family with someone she loved rather than people she was forced to tolerate. She could have been happy had the war not fucked everything up. Had it not fucked her up. And no matter what she did to try and get better, to get her life back on track, she ended up back on his doorstep. Because it always led back to him.
I parkеd my car right between the Methodist
And thе school that used to be ours
The holidays linger like bad perfume
After New Year Regulus planned for the two to have a weekend away in Hogsmeade village. They were staying for one night at the local inn, the three broomsticks. They travelled by flow and after they had discarded their bags in their room they made their way down into the bar, his hand holding hers.
They spied Rosmerta behind the bar and smiled at her when she recognised them.
"So where to first milady" they spent the day entering shops and cafe's they used to regular while at school, before finally ending up on top a hill they used to sneak to after curfew. It sat a few minutes out of the village and gave a clear few of the grand castle they had called home for many years.
For the first time since they arrived a silence fell over them, and to neither's surprise it was a sad silence. There were still lights on in the far off castle, the only proof that there were people living there currently, even during the holidays. They could see the figure of a large man making his way out of the forest, and they quickly assumed it was the gamekeeper, Hagrid.
"I'd give anything to go back for another year. Preferably 5th year, when we'd recently gotten together and were either too naive or too caught up in ourselves to care about what was going on outside the castle" he mumbled, his arm wrapping around her shoulders. "The war was only a whisper I heard when I was home, or sometimes from the kids in the years above who knew everything about current affairs"
"Everything was so much easier then. And we were essentially glued at the hip" she acknowledged with a small smile. It was true, for them at least, that life got significantly more complicated after they left the four walls that was their boarding school.
"We still could be, glued at the hip" he whispered and she simply let out a sigh.
"Reg"
"I know, I'm sorry. It's just difficult to not think about what could have happened if we had the life we planned when we lived here"
The end of the holidays was beginning to linger, and both their desperation for more time was beginning to show.
You can run, but only so far
I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave
But if it's okay with you, it's okay with me
"What are you doing?" she heard Regulus' voice from the entry to their bedroom and froze as she realised her plan had been disrupted. Turning slowly to face him his face fell even further when he noticed the tears rolling down her face.
"I'm sorry Reg" he wouldn't have heard her had the room not have fallen deathly silent.
"What are you doing?" he repeated.
"Please don't make this harder than it has to be, you know what I'm doing" she responded, her jumpy voice making it clear she had been crying for a while.
"Don't leave. Darling, please don't leave" he begged her, following her down the stairs as she pulled her large suitcase and two large bags with her. She glanced at the bouquet of flowers he had discarded on the kitchen counter, it was clear he had bought them for her on his way home from work and she couldn't hold in the sob that left her lips.
"I'm sorry, but I can't stay here. There are too many memories in London, in the wizarding world," she explained as best she could while trying to catch her breath. He had come to a stop in front of her and attempted to touch her arm but pulled back when she moved away from him.
"It'll get better with time though my love. We will make it through like we always do"
"It'll never get better here, everything has bad memories attached and everywhere is surrounded by death, all the time. I just can't do it anymore, I've tried and I can't do it" she opened the door starting to leave when he wrapped his hand around her wrist, pulling her back to looks at him.
"Let me pack a bag, we can leave together. Wherever you want. We can work it out together. Things will get better" the desperation in his tone was clear as day, and she had to do everything in her power to stop herself from crumbling into his arms and staying.
"No Regulus, things will never get better as long as I'm with you" she didn't mean to say the words, they had left her mouth before she could even consider them. His mouth fell open slightly at the declaration and she felt another round of tears cascading down her face and neck. Quickly she slipped the engagement band of her ring finger that it had only decorated for a few months and slipped it into his hand, leaving before he could say anything more.
Sleep in half the day just for old times' sake
I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay
So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends
Who'll write books about me, if I ever make it
The holidays were over, tomorrow she would return to her muggle job in her muggle town in France. She wouldn't return to London, or most likely the Wizarding world for another year and this fact was beginning to set in again. It wasn't her family she would miss, and though she would miss her friends it wasn't them she was sad to be leaving. It was Regulus.
The war had been over 5 years now. Just as long as they had been dating. She would only see him at Christmas then would somewhat easily leave to head back to France, where she could live free from the ghosts at home. But this year felt different. The country seemed to be beginning to heal. It wasn't so dark anymore. People were happy more than they were sad, which was something she hadn't experienced here in years. People, including herself, were starting to heal.
She decided that Sunday morning that she deserved a lie in. The pair seemed to have come to a mutual agreement on this. His arms were wrapped gently around her bare body, her hand running through his hair, she watched peaceful expressions grace his features as he looked at her through half-shut eyes. She smiled as she thought back to the many mornings they spent together in the Slytherin dorms doing just this. When he finally arose she knew it was time to start getting ready to leave, and he knew it too.
"Is that you off then?" he asked her with a sad smile as she entered the living room with her suitcase and bags, similar to what she had the day she left. Goldie the cat jumped off his lap and approached her.
"Ye I think I have everything" she responded simply. She had wanted him to ask her to stay earlier in the day, but when the statement never left his mouth she knew it was best she left. She was the one who had broken things off in the end, so what could she expect.
He stood up and made his way over to her, wrapping his arms around her and she returned the gesture. "Stay safe over there, and if you need anything just write" he whispered into her hair, pulling away briefly before pressing his lips to hers, holding her face gently in his hands.
And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin'
And the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own.
To leave the warmest bed I've ever known
After returning home a deep loneliness sank into Y/ns life. Her friendships all suddenly felt surface level and simple. Any romantic feelings she had for anyone when she left for England had disappeared as the only thing she could think about was the dark-haired boy living in London. He plagued her every thought.
It was as though she had been given a taste of everything she could ever want, of the beautiful life she could be living, only to have it snatched away by her own hand. The regret she faced as she came to accept that the bubble she had lived in over the Christmas break wasn't real life was more difficult this year than it ever had been before.
The only friendship she had in France that truly remained by spring that year was that with Monet. She was a muggle only one year younger than her and they had become quick friends all those years ago when she first moved to France. Monet had never met her friends from home or her parents for obvious reasons, but she had heard plenty about Regulus.
"Y/n you know I love you, and I would hate for you to leave this town. But whatever it is that went on in England that meant you had to get away, it seems you are starting to recover. I see no reason why you and Regulus can't work this out now" she reasoned as she poured herself another glass of wine.
"It's not that simple Monet" Y/n responded sadly, siping her own glass of the rich red liquid.
"It is that simple, you just don't want it to be because it's hard to accept that all this pain wouldn't be worth something. But it would be worth something even if you got back together Y/n because you're happy now. I don't need to know what happened to know I met you at your lowest, but you aren't there anymore"
She knew Monet was correct. Visits home were far easier than they once had been. She was primarily hurting herself and there was no longer any justification for it, her happiness over the holidays proved just that. She would never experience a love like the one she had with him, he was her one true love and nothing would ever change that.
And it always leads to you in my hometown,
It always leads to you in my hometown
And that's how she found herself stood on his doorstep in the middle of spring, a season she hadn't seen grace the streets of London in years. The seasonal rain had soaked her through as she stood outside the house willing herself to just ring the doorbell. She could hear muffled music playing behind the door and light flooding out from the windows and under the door. At long last she finally pressed the bell, feeling her heartbeat increase drastically when the music turns down noticeably. Within what felt like seconds the door had swung open and Regulus was standing staring at her in shock.
He let her in before running up the stairs and grabbing her some dry clothes, giving her room to change before joining her in the living room with two mugs of tea.
"Are okay," he asked her once he had settled beside her, handing her the warm liquid. The radio was still playing quietly from the kitchen, drifting through the house alongside the smell of tea. She simply nodded her head at his question, giving him little to go off.
"Y/n" he broke the silence after another minute "what are you doing here?"
"I think I might be moving back to London," she turned to look at him and his eyebrows raised at the news. There were many things he considered that could result in her showing up on his doorstep in the middle of spring, this was never on the list.
"Did something happen?" he asked her gently, his hand resting over hers.
"I love you" he exhaled at this news and she let out a small sad laugh "I love you and I can't act like two weeks a year is enough for me anymore. I need you all year, during all seasons, through the ups and downs. Because you're my person and no one will ever compare, everything always leads back to you"
"I love you too my darling, I always have and I always will" he whispered before taking her into his arms, running his hand over her still wet hair.
16 years later.
After the couple reconciled they had quickly settled into a happy life together. Within a year and a half they were married and living the reality they had always planned together. Their shared townhouse that had once been lonely and cold was filled with warmth and laughter, even before they introduced children into the mix.
It had only taken 5 years for them to have their first child together at the age of 30. They named him Olliver Phineas Black. Then came their daughter 2 years later, Genevieve Monet Black. Then finally 3 years later their final child Aleron Sirius Black.
At the beginning of the second wizarding war, only a few months before the birth of Aleron, the family fled to the familiar village in the south of France to hide from the horrors they had already faced once before. They survived much like they did the first wizarding war and their children being too young to truly understand the horrors was a small comfort. Returning to London was far easier than it had been the first time. The fear ended with the battle, as finally Voldemort was dead. He wasn't coming back. It was finally done.
"Olliver sweetheart are you almost ready to go, we don't want to be late" Y/n yelled up the stairs, helping her 6-year-old son tie his shoes. "Reg is Genevieve ready"
"Yes darling, she's in the livingroom" Regulus mumbled, patting his wife shoulder comfortingly "Don't worry, we're on schedule"
"We can't let him miss the train" she stressed and Regulus just chuckled lightly under his breath
"He won't" any response she was going to give was cut off by their youngest pulling on her hair to gain her attention.
"Mummy where are we going" Aleron questioned
"Your brother is going away to school, the same school Mummy and Daddy went to" She answered with a smile, tucking a piece of hair that was falling into his eyes behind his ear. She heard Olliver begin descending the stairs and picked up the little boy as he continued playing with her hair.
"Will I get to go one day" he questioned
"When you're a bit older baby" she answered. "You ready to go Gen," she asked Genevieve as they pilled their eldest's trunk and owl into the car they had rented from the ministry to get to the station.
In less than half an hour they were stood beside the barrier to platform 9 and 3/4.
"Regulus, you go through first with Genevieve and Aleron. We'll be right behind you" Regulus did as she asked and ran through the barrier with his two younger children, presumably waiting for his wife and firstborn on the other side of the wall.
"Mum, I'm nervous" Olliver whispered from beside her. She looked down at her son and smiled at him.
"You've got nothing to worry about Ollie, Hogwarts is an amazing place. I have no doubt you'll love it" She comforted him and he nodded simply. He nodded at her in acknowledgement "Honestly, you'll feel at home in no time, just wait until you see the castle tonight"
After making it through the barrier, they helped him get his stuff onto the train before hugging him goodbye.
"Make sure and write at least once a week Olliver" Y/n yelled after him as he hung out one of the windows waving goodbye to them. The last thing they saw was a boy and girl roughly his age opening the carriage door and shaking his hand before he disappeared into the distance. Regulus squeezed her shoulders from behind her and she smiled up at him through teary eyes.
"Don't cry, love. He'll be back at Christmas" he whispered, leaving a kiss on her cheek.
Summary: Theodore Nott was trouble, and everyone knew it. But for whatever reason, she decided she didn't care. OR. Based on 'I knew you were trouble' by Taylor Swift.
Warning: Mentions of cheating. Not exactly got smut, but only because it's only like two paragraphs so dunno if it counts. I'll put a warning before this part so you can skip it if you'd like.
Word count: 4,142
Reading Time: 15 Minutes
***
Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago
I was in your sights, you got me alone
It was her first night out after her breakup, and to say she felt out of place would be an understatement. Her ex-boyfriend, Rodger Davis, had cheated on her after just under 2 years together, so understandably her confidence had taken a huge knock. Her friends had forced her out of the depression hole she had buried herself in for the past month, dressing her up in the sexiest dress they could find and doing her makeup and hair.
As soon as she had stepped foot in the Ravenclaw common room she took quick notice of Rodger and his new girlfriend standing in the corner. He looked all too impressed with himself when he saw that she had noticed it was the same girl she had caught him with a month ago.
"Ignore them, they don't deserve the attention," her best friend Marianne told her with a gentle smile.
"I know, you go dance I'll get us a drink"
A few hours later the pair of friends were verging on being drunk. They had found their other friends and were having a generally good time when she realised she had run out of whatever alcohol was in her cup. After asking if anyone else needed a refill, and finding they never, she departed and made her way to the drinks table. After only a couple minutes she felt someone moving beside her, their shoulders bumping.
Looking up at the boy beside her she felt her heartbeat increase slightly at the beautiful boy looking down at her.
"Having a nice evening darling?" He asked her with a small smirk. Something about the way he was looking at her and the use of the pet name left her unable to speak for a few seconds but she quickly recovered.
"Alright, you?" She returned, quickly turning back to the half-filled cup in front of her.
"Bit crowded," He answered, putting his cup beside hers for her to fill up before introducing himself. "Theodore Nott"
"Y/n L/n," He smiled down at her again when she turned to face him, his body being far closer than she expected.
"Are you needing the get back to anyone?" Whispered the tall boy as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. All she could do was shake her head.
Before long they found themselves sitting on the couch in the far corner of the common room, the furthest from the makeshift dance floor. Her friends had spied her long ago and given her a big smile to encourage her to move on. She could see in their faces however that they likely weren't pleased with the person, it was the same look they had given Rodger all those years ago.
"You look beautiful tonight," They were sat outrageously close as he whispered in her ear, one of his arms wrapped behind her back and the other hand rested on her thigh. She blushed at his words and caught Rodger's eye across the room. It seemed he and his new girlfriend weren't having as good a time anymore, as she tried to get his attention and he watched his ex with a jealous expression.
"I've had my eye on you all night you know," Theodore continued, she broke eye contact with Rodger and smiled up at the beautiful boy beside her. With little thought she pushed her lips against his, his hands resting firmly on her waist as his tongue slipped into her mouth.
"How about we get out of here," He mumbled against her.
I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that
And when I fell hard you took a step back, without me
After that night they started a somewhat relationship. It wasn't like he was her boyfriend, not really anyway. They had sex regularly and spent a fair amount of time together, but it all either led to or ended in sex. He never stayed long afterwards, and he never ever stayed the night.
It was a very different dynamic from what she was used to. Rodger had treated her like he loved her, though evidently he never did. He wouldn't just stay the night after they would sleep together but he would care for her also. However, she'd be hugely lying if she said the sex with Theodore was incomparable to that of her ex.
She had fallen quite deeply for the boy. He gave her very little to go off, and she couldn't work out for the life of her why she loved him when she knew fine well he was only meant trouble, but she did.
They had been seeing each other for around 3 months at this point. As far as the school was concerned they were a couple. A very sexually active one at that.
*Over 18 until next red text*
"Theodore" the pale bedsheets were bundled tightly in her hands, his pressed firmly on the mattress on each side of her head as he pushed himself back into her, a bead of sweat forming on his forehead as he increased his pace.
"Fuck I love you," He whimpered into her ear. The three words sent her over the edge in seconds and he followed closely behind her, leaving a trail of kisses down her neck as she started to come down from her long-coming high, the room finally growing quiet.
*Warning over*
He collapsed next to her on the bed and she looked up at him with somewhat hopeful eyes. They had never said anything like I love you to one another. Anything other than compliments on one another's appearances, especially hers, wasn't yet something they really did.
"I love you too," She whispered, gaining no response as he looked away from her. A few moments later, after he had fully caught his breath he pulled himself from the bed. He began getting pulling his clothes back on and a small frown fell upon her face.
"I'd better get going, see you later," He said with no hint of warmth in his voice. And just like that, he left.
Almost instantaneously she noticed him getting more and more distant with her. The sex had grown impersonal and he left, if possible, even quicker than he did at the beginning. She knew her friends were right, he was like every Slytherin boy, they were no good for relationships. And given his reputation, he was no exception but she couldn't bring herself to care enough to end things.
He's long gone when he's next to me
And I realise the blame is on me
Things had far from improved between the two, with every day he got colder towards her and more distant. However, one good thing that came out of the months after they exchanged 'I love yous' was the friendship she gained with his friends.
As their relationship deteriorated his friends made an effort, though clearly against his will, to include her in things. She was sure it was to do with her family being part of the sacred 28. Draco and Blaise were always somewhat nice to her, but her real friendship lay with Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass.
The pair sat in the Slytherin common room one night with his friends sitting around them. They were the last to occupy the room as everyone else had gone to bed, the girl hadn't yet begun to consider how she would get back to the Ravenclaw dorms.
"Did you take the notes for potions tomorrow?" Pansy asked her. She was cuddled up next to Draco on the loveseat beside the fire. If you had to guess which pair out of the six were in a relationship you would never guess Theodore and Y/n, in fact, they would likely be your last guess.
"Ye I did. I can get them for you tomorrow if you'd like," She told pansy with a small smile.
"That would be great, NEWT potions was the worst decision I've ever made" the brunette laughed and the Ravenclaw girl nodded in agreement
"Same, I knew it would be difficult, but merlin nothing like this" she laughed. She heard Theodore clearing his throat beside her and she glanced over. Pansy looked away from the pair quickly, not wanting to be involved in the conversation.
"Are you thinking of heading back anytime soon" raising her eyebrows at the question asked she shrugged her shoulders.
"It's getting pretty late and you'll end up with detention if you go back on your own. Let's go," He mumbled. She stood up, giving Pansy and Daphne a tight-lipped smile as they furrowed their eyebrows at her.
"Where are you going," Daphne asked her quickly, Blaise looking up from his book at the words and watching the couple curiously.
"Oh, I'd best get going before I end up with a detention" she responded simply.
"Don't be silly, stay here there's plenty of space" Pansy said with a confused tone.
"She'd best be getting back, we have classes pretty early" Theodore intervened causing all eyes to fall on him. Draco simply scoffed at his words, knowing he was making things more difficult for everyone as there was no reason she couldn't stay.
"Ye it's alright Pans, my roommates would worry anyway" gathering her stuff off the couch she looked up at Theodore who was watching her impatiently, clear he wanted her out of the room "I'll see you guys later"
Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Slytherin had won a quidditch match again Gryffindor and just like always, a party was thrown in the common room to celebrate. Y/n, Marianne, and a few of their other friends decided to go, having been invited earlier in the day by Pansy and Daphne.
"I'm happy that you're happy, honestly I am. I just worry" Marianne told her as they got ready in their dorm. The other girls had left earlier than them, having dates to meet.
"There's nothing to worry about Marianne" she assured and her friend simply shook her head
"He's trouble Y/n. He always has been and he always will be"
"There's nothing to worry about"
They eventually made their way to the dungeons and found their group of friends in the crowd on the dance floor. After a while, she turned around the scan the room for either Pansy and Daphne or Theodore. However, when she spied the boy she wished she hadn't.
He was sitting on one of the couch legs, with a small black hair girl standing between his legs with her tongue down his throat. The girl had her back to her so she couldn't recognise her, but she didn't care about her. She cared about Theodore who had clearly felt the eyes on him and looked up at the girl he had been sleeping with for months stood with her mouth agape and sad look in her eyes.
They held eye contact for a few moments before he turned his attention back to the girl in front of him and continued as though he hadn't just been caught. She quickly turned on her heel, leaving the room before anyone could stop her.
Making her way back to her dorm as quickly as she could she fell onto her bed, tears falling down her face. She knew it was only a matter of time, everyone did. He was Theodore Nott, after all, he couldn't keep a girl no matter how good she was, he always saw something better and had to take it.
He was trouble and she'd known it all along. After all, that's what she loved about him. He was trouble and she was used to peace.
No apologies. He'll never see you cry
Pretends he doesn't know that he's the reason why
She couldn't remember at what time she fell asleep, though she assumed it was late as she had heard each of her roommates return from the party, though they left her alone as she had her bed curtains pulled tightly shut. She was awoken by someone banging on her door and after glancing at her bedside clock she saw it was 2 PM, with further investigation she noticed that her roommates were nowhere to be found, obviously having long started their days.
Pulling herself from the warmth of her bed she wandered over to the door, opening it expecting one of her friends.
"What are you doing here," She asked when she caught sight of the tall brunette towering over her.
"What do you think I'm doing here," he asked with a smirk as he entered her room. He glanced at her bed as he walked towards it, then the box of tissues beside her bed that had been emptied, then finally turned back to look at her, rolling his eyes at the obvious signs she had been crying.
"What were you crying about," Theodore asked her, though they both knew exactly what she had been crying about.
"Theodore don't" she begged him as he leaned around her and shut the door.
"No come on, what were you crying about" he pushed, she stepped away from him at this and he once again rolled his eyes "Y/n"
"I don't like what you did last night, in front of me," she told him, crossing her arms over her body in a somewhat defensive manner.
"And what exactly did I do last night," He asked, his voice clearly taunting her
"You know exactly what" She mumbled
"Please enlighten me"
"You kissed someone, right in front of me," She told him and he scoffed loudly at her words.
"I'm single aren't I?" He asked
"You embarrassed me" At this he stepped away from her, walking towards the door.
"If you're going to get so emotional over such stupid shit then it's probably best we don't see each other anymore. Not worth the effort" he mumbled before walking out the door, leaving her frozen in shock at his words.
Now I heard you moved on from whispers on the streets
A new notch on your belt is all I've ever been
After the breakup, if you could even call it that, she somehow stayed friends with some of his friends. It would be generous to say that she was friends with Draco or Blaise, but they would smile at her in passing and sometimes say hello. However Daphne and Pansy had become some of her best friends after the split.
They regularly told her that the entire group hated the way he had treated her and that she was the favourite of all his many ex's. She would brush this off with a small thanks, never lingering on it much.
They were sat in the great hall one afternoon, attempting to study for their upcoming mid-year exams. The boys were all off somewhere so they were left alone, able to sit together without it feeling weird.
"I saw a girl in the year below leaving the boys dorm last night," Daphne told them, gaining both Pansy and Y/n's attention.
"It couldn't have been Draco, I saw him leaving the common room right after dinner and he didn't come back until morning," Pansy told them, and Daphne nodded.
"It wasn't Blaise, he was still in the hospital wing for that broken wrist from the weekends game" Daphne added, and suddenly the trio fell very quiet as they realised what this meant and it sunk in what they had just told the Ravenclaw girl.
"Shit I'm sorry Y/n, I wasn't thinking" Daphne rambled on after a minute of awkward silence.
"Don't be silly, I don't care anymore. He's at free liberty to do whatever he wants. He always has been" she smiled at the girls in front of them, and they gave her a small smile back.
"He wasn't at free liberty to do whatever he wanted that night Y/n. He was your boyfriend and we all know it" Pansy whispered
"I know," She said "It's a shame that to him all I was, was an extra notch in his belt"
And the saddest fear comes creeping in
That you never loved me, or her, or anyone, or anything
In less than a month of breaking things off with her, Theodore had a new girlfriend. She was a year younger than them in Slytherin. Pansy and Daphne had attempted to hide the information as best they could, and with the help of Marianne, they had succeeded for a while. But of course, she found out eventually.
She had been walking back from the library early one evening when she heard loud giggling around the corner, she continued walking thinking nothing of it until she spied her ex-boyfriend and a girl clinging to his arm.
She tried to look away but couldn't seem to. He didn't look any happier than his new girl than she had ever seen him with her, or any of his previous ex's.
As she walked past him he caught sight of her and didn't let his eyes drop from her own until the new couple had passed around the corner.
She realised with deep sadness that he had never loved her. The same way he undeniable didn't love his new girlfriend. The same way he never loved his friends. She concluded that he had never loved anyone or anything in his life. He lured people in with his sweet-talking and his beautiful eyes, let them fall in love with him, then dropped them on the Cold floor to deal with the consequences alone.
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me
Months had passed, he and his girlfriend had broken up, and she had seen another boy for a while in between, though it never lasted long. His break-up had been public, with the younger girl begging him to take her back in the great hall one morning in a very loud, hysterical way. It had been the talk of the castle for weeks.
Her fling on the other hand hadn't come to anything and had ended quite normally. They had gone on a few dates but decided it was best if they stayed friends. She also made amends with Rodger. He apologised for his actions and they decided to be civil, perhaps not friends but certainly acquaintances.
The summer holidays were upon them at last. It hadn't been a good year by any means. Dumbledore was dead and no one knew the state the world was about the fall into. The only bright side she could see was that her family was safely in the middle. She could return to school in September without the crippling fear many children were about to experience.
At the very end of July Daphne had a small garden party. She had invited a few friends, mostly Slytherins, however she also invited Y/n and Marianne. After much consideration, they decided to go. It was likely that by the time they went back to Hogwarts in September everything would have changed even further, and who knows where that would put their friendships.
Daphnes parents were one of the few sacred 28 that weren't involved in the pureblood supremacy that was doing the rounds at the moment, or else there was no way her parents would have allowed her to go.
"How have you been" Daphne mumbled after engulfing her friends in a hug.
"Oh alright," Marianne responded with a smile.
"As good as you can be given the circumstances" Y/n added, returning the hug.
Daphne lead the pair out to the large back garden and the girls let their eyes roam around, seeing who was around. Noticeably Draco Malfoy was absent, but everyone knew he would be. Pansy was sat with a few girls who looked, by the matching pale blue jumpers they were wearing, to be from Beauxbatons. across from her, there were a group of boys Y/n recognised from the years above her, Adrian Pucey and Terrence Higgs along with a few others.
Finally sat on a bench at the far end of the garden sat Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott. The two had their backs faced to the entrance so hadn't yet seen the Ravenclaw girls that had just arrived.
"How are they," Marriane asked, having watched her best friends face grow in concern as she observed the two boys.
"They've been better" Daphne responded sadly "but haven't we all"
"Y/n!" Pansy yelled from her place In the garden. She quickly ran up to her and she tried to ignore the eyes from the other end of the garden that had snapped to her at the call of her name.
She was suddenly engulfed in a hug and she quickly returned it.
"Merlin I've missed you" Pansy mumbled as she pulled away from the hug
"I've missed you too Pans"
After about half an hour she decided it was time to approach Theodore. He was still sitting at that bench with Blaise. Neither had heard her approaching them, so when she cleared her throat from behind them they both got a fright and jumped slightly. They turned to face her and Blaise broke out in a grin.
"Alright my favourite Ravenclaw" He expressed, moving around the bench to hug her. She had never received so many hugs in one day before.
"Blaise, how're you?" She asked warmly, though he could see that her eyes were firmly on the boy still sitting on the bench who had turned back around as to no longer face her.
"I'm good, I'm good. I'll see you later ye, I need another drink" He had clearly caught on that she was here to talk to Theodore not him.
"Ye, see you later"
She moved slowly to sit next to Theodore, not wanting to sit too close and make things uncomfortable. A silence fell over them and neither looked up, they simply looked ahead at the rows of fields in front of them.
"It's peaceful here, I like it" She broke the silence and he nodded from beside her
"Ye, the Greengrass's have always had a lovely home" He answered simply.
"How's your summer been?" She asked him. Though the question sounded simple it was quite clear she was really asking him if he was safe at home. He knew this.
"Alright, doing what I have to do" He responded simply
"Me too" She whispered. At this, he looked over at her and she wasted no time in looking back. He let out a small sigh before moving closer towards her, wrapping her arm around her shoulder and pulling her into a sort of side hug.
"I've been worried about you" He confessed and she just laughed quietly at what she considered a lie.
"I mean it Y/n" He continued quickly "No one heard from you for months"
The next morning she woke up to the sound of the birds outside her window and the weight of somebodies arm dropped over her bare stomach. When she looked down she wasn't surprised to see that she had in fact had Theodore over last night, however, she was surprised that he had stayed, for he never had done before.
"I missed you darling" he mumbled against her skin, leaving a gentle kiss on her collar bone.
"I missed you too Theodore" she whispered back after a few seconds of contemplating her words.
Before either could comprehend what they had said there was a tapping at her window that could only be caused by her owl Erwin.
"Please don't get up" He groaned in a tired voice, grabbing onto her waist to hold her in place.
"Give me a second Theo, it could be important" She responded, pulling herself from his grip with a gentle kiss to his temples as she walked over the window. Cautious of the fact she was naked and he was certainly watching her every move, she saw the smirk on his face.
Quickly grabbing the letter and giving Erwin a treat, she retreated back to bed and opened the parchment that seemed to be Daphne. Her jaw dropped as she read the letter. It started quite normal, telling her that Daphne, Pansy and Marianne hoped she got home alright but they know she's with Theodore so they assume she did.
But before she could even comprehend what she was reading things had changed. In a matter of words, the world around them changed once again. Theodore was reading over her shoulder at this point and had clearly just read the same sentence as her.
"Theodore The Minister of Magic is dead, the Ministry has fallen"
Summery - Remus and Reader had an unofficial relationship while in their 7th year at Hogwarts. When they leave school they fall out of contact though still love one another.
Warning - Angst.
Word count - 1,985
Reading time - 7 mins 13 seconds
***
Long handwritten note
Deep in your pocket
Words, how little they mean
When you're a little too late
Before leaving school Remus and Y/n had been inseparable. They knew everything about each other and though it had started off as a long term friendship they had transitioned easily into a far more romantic relationship in their final year at school.
Though they had never titled what they were to one another it was clear to everyone that they only had eyes for each other, that they were not single.
Remus had planned to marry the girl, he had said so when they were children playing families in her back garden though he hadn't understood it then. However he did now and he stood by it, he would marry her.
So he wrote her a letter. It was short and simple and he planned on giving it to her at the one-year reunion Lily was having in her Garden to catch up with everyone they had been friends with at school. It was a time to forget about the ongoing war if only for a while.
But she never showed up. Remus put it down to her being busy. She worked in the ministry and with dark forces trying to corrupt them constantly she had been far more busy than usual. However the next day the group had gotten a letter from her, everyone was the same.
She had gone into hiding as the ministry has been overthrown and she was now wanted. She never told them where she was going just that she would be out of the country until the war ended if it ever did.
Remus knew he was too late. They weren't winning the war, not even close. And there was no end in sight either. As far as anyone could tell this was to be their lives for years to come, and now he had to do it without her.
He reached into his pocket and picked up the piece of paper deep inside, folding it and putting it into his sock drawer alongside the new letter he had just received from her, deciding the ignore her side of the drawer that was now empty. For he didn't want the constant reminded that no matter how important ones words are they are reduced to nothing if they are said too late.
I stood right by the tracks
Your face in a locket
As she prepared to leave the country, a small bag in her hand as she looked across the road at her now old cottage she did all she could to hold back her tears. Her life had been falling perfectly into place and now she had to leave it all for goodness knows how long. There was no saying she would ever be able to come back and live a normal life. They were living in unprecedented times and no one knew the possible outcome.
She had written a letter and copied it to each of her friends. she wanted to say more, to each of them (though especially Remus), however, she knew she couldn't. If the letters were found or someone betrayed them she couldn't risk that she had said too much and given away her placement.
That was the same reason why she never planned on writing to her friends again, at least not until she could return home.
She grasped the locket firmly in her hand as she finally apparated to her new location. When she felt her feet hit the hard ground she looked up and found herself exactly where she had planned. A small muggle train station in the French countryside.
Opening the locket she finally let the tear fall as she looked down at the picture of her true love. He looked beautiful as always and happier than usual. She knew that though this was likely the end of their relationship he would always be the ones for her. she loved him more than she could quite comprehend however for the foreseeable future his face in the locket over her heart was the closest she could be to him, and that would have to do.
In dreams
I meet you in warm conversation
It had been a year since she had left England and things had only gotten worse. In the beginning, there was a sense of denial that was widely felt, and though denial is never safe nor helpful it let people forget. but now over two years into the war nobody could deny the horrors that plagued the European Wizarding world, not when they consumed every aspect of your life.
The only time you were free of the horrific war was when you slept, Y/n having no job nor friends slept often. when she wasn't gardening or cooking she would sleep. During these long hours of lull, she would be transported back to the brighter days, the happier times. Days spent exploring the grounds of her high school with her friends, her first party after Ravenclaw won a quidditch game, long summer days spent in the fields behind her house with Lily and Marlene. But most regularly she would find herself in the cottage she once shared with Remus.
They had only lived together a few months when she left, but it was the best few months of her life. Sometimes she regretted leaving him behind as she knew had she asked him to join her he wouldn't have hesitated for a second.
In her dreams she would find herself wrapped in his arms in front of the fire on winter evenings, reading the book that he held in his hand. When she would wake it would take her a few moments to realise it wasn't real anymore, and that though these dreams were once her life they no longer are. For now, she's alone in the world and only feels love in her sleep.
We both wake
In lonely beds
In different cities
Mornings had quickly become both Y/n and Remus' least favourite part of the day. Remus had once enjoyed mornings the most in the day. The crisp air and the silence always comforted him. aBut now all he was met with was disappointment and melancholy as he realises that he is alone and that his dreams aren't the truth.
Y/n had gotten used to the disappointment as the years went on. They had both started to see other people as they accepted that maybe they simply weren't meant to be. But no matter how many people Y/n let into her bed it remained as lonely as it was when it was empty.
Remus was no different and had reverted to staying at different women homes instead of his own, unable to bear sleeping alone in their once shared bed every night any longer.
And you've got your demons
And darlin' they all look like me
At long last the war ended. 5 years since they had seen each other last Y/n and Remus were reunited once more. They had both dreamt of the moment for as long as they had been separated though it seemed the reality didn't quite live up to their expectations.
They had moved back into to the same cottage and while the first few months went smoothly the cracks in their relationship began to show.
They had both been damaged beyond comprehension by the war. They weren't the same people they had been 5 years ago never mind when they had first fallen in love. On top of that Remus simply couldn't trust her anymore.
The thought alone that she could leave him so easily when he struggled so much to live without her sent him into a line of thought that she really didn't care for him as he did her. Though he was incorrect she couldn't seem to persuade him that she was being honest and that she loved him. He simply couldn't trust her.
She realised within the first year that the war wasn't all that had changed him but she had to. Leaving him the way she did, the way that everyone seemed to leave him had left scars that were far deeper than those that blessed his skin.
Distance, timing
Breakdown, fighting
Silence, the train runs off its tracks
Kiss me, try to fix it
Could you just try to listen?
Hang up, give up
"Why won't you just listen to me" She begged him as tears ran down her face.
"I am listening, I am. But I don't know what you want me to do" he responded with a raised voice.
"I want you to try. You gave up before I even came home. You never wanted this to work" she yelled, her voice breaking as she left the living room and made her way to the kitchen, wanting to be away from him but he had followed her.
"I didn't try! You can't be serious. You left me remember. If you had just talked to me before you left we would be fine" he yelled back even louder.
"I had to leave. I couldn't tell anyone where I was Remus and you know that. You can't blame this all on me"
"No you're right I can't blame this all on you, but I do blame a large amount of it on you and you alone. You handled the situation terribly and left me to handle everything alone. We could have done it together. A simple explanation, even one more line in your letter would have saved so much but you couldn't have cared less" He ranted, however, she didn't hear the last of his sentence as she had left. she walked out of the house and appeated to Marlene's house. She was simply too tired, too exhausted to carry on. She had given up.
For the life of us we can't get back A beautiful magic love affair
For the second time in their relationship she had moved out, she had turned home a week later when she knew Remus would be at work and she packed her bags, throwing everything she could find that belonged to her into boxes and Marlene helping her move them to her flat.
Marlene shared a flat with Alice and the pair had agreed to let her stay at their flat until she found her own place. Sleeping on their couch was a far better option than staying with Remus anymore, not when their home had grown so tense.
She left a note on the kitchen counter, much like the one she had left him all those years ago, though this time she explained. She explained that she loved him and that she was sure in another life they would be together, for they would have been good together had the world not decided otherwise. Had they entered the adult world under better circumstances she was sure they would have lasted and lived happily ever after and she let him know this.
Their love had been beautiful, it had bloomed bright and strong. However too much had happened and no matter what they did to try and fix things between them it was to no avail. They couldn't return to what they were it was simply impossible.
What a sad
Beautiful tragic love affair
And like all good stories, there's came to an end. It started as young love and developed. However, the world had been cruel to them and all they had left was a tragedy.
It was with the bittersweet realisation she accepted that going their separate ways was the purest, most sincere way they could show their love for one another. For though they loved each other without a doubt, their story was not a love story but rather a story of two broken people who just so happened to experience love.
summery - Beauxbatons comes to Hogwarts to participate in the triwizard tournament in the year 77/78. During this time Sirius Black meets his soulmate but they are separated by war. Reunited years later in 1982 at a wedding they begin what they started when they were only teenagers.
OR
Soulmate AU whereby soulmates can see each other phycological scars through a coloured 'aura' around the person.
warnings - very slight mentions of sex. Lots of time skips. I won't be writing in a French accent as I am very Scottish and have no idea how the French accent effects words so I'm just writing it the way I usually would and you can imagine the French accent lol.
word count - 6,121
reading time - 29 mins 32 seconds
***
Hogwarts was everything the group of 6th year beauxbaton students had expected and more. The large castle was just as homely and charming as they had hoped and they found themselves quickly feeling at home among the students, particularly the Ravenclaws. The students from Hogwarts overall seemed much more welcoming towards the French student than they did towards those that came from durmstrang, y/n put it down to the social climate and assumed it wasn't the best time to be from a school that so heavily and openly encouraged dark magic.
None the less within only a month y/n had gotten used to her life at Hogwarts and was enjoying the experience, especially considering she didn't have to really worry about the tournament as she wasn't competing.
"I like it here, the people are nice" Genevieve Blanchett, Y/ns best friend said as they made their way over to the lake. It was quite cold as autumn was in full swing however they had dressed appropriately and decided to leave the carriages to sit down by the lake, giving them some peace.
"They are nice, it's crazy that this could have been my school had my parents not chosen otherwise" y/n replied, laying down the small blanket that they had brought with them so they could sit without messing up their skirts.
Y/ns parents had both gone to Hogwarts and met there. they considered for awhile sending their daughter to Hogwarts also but due to them living in France at the time they decided against it.
"But then you would never have met me" She laughed, her accent thick.
"You know that is a good point Gen" Laughing also. They finally sat down and y/n pulled out her book from her back. It was a muggle book she had found at her local book shop when she had been home through the summer, 'wuthering heights' she hadn't gotten too far yet but she could safely say she was enjoying it.
"Would it be alright if we sat with you" Came an unfamiliar voice after the pair had been sat for around half an hour. Genevieve busy trying to finish an essay that was due in the next few weeks and Y/n reading her book. She looked up and found a beautiful red headed girl stood beside an equally pretty brunette, both smiling at them. They both sported red ties, telling the pair of visitors that they were from griffindor house, the brave.
"Of course" Y/n replied with a smile. "What are your names?"
"I'm Lily Evans, this is Marlene McKinnon. We seen you sitting here and thought we'd come over and introduce ourselves. The tournaments purpose is to make friends after all" The ginger girl, Lily, told them earning a smile from both girls, motioning them to sit which they did.
"I'm Y/n L/n, and this is Genevieve Blanchett" she said, the two hogwarst students nodded their head in acknowledgement.
"withering heights, I love that book" she exclaimed before asking where Y/n was and what she thought of the book so far.
Before y/n had the time to answer the question she spied something very odd over Lilys shoulder. A group of 4 boys where quickly approaching them, which wouldn't have been too odd had one of them not had a faint aura of dark grey surrounding him. She had never seen anything like it and had been stunned speechless. She had never heard of people who glowed colours and she had definitely never seen it before. She was too shocked to notice that he had stopped in his tracks when he seen her, his friends carrying on without him and not even noticing he had been left behind.
"Hello my love" a tall brunette with messy hair said while staring at lily. Y/n was still staring at the boy who was stood alone a few steps away from her, unable to tear her eyes away from him.
"Hello James" Lily said in a bored voice.
"Sirius what are you doing" James, as Lilly called him, yelled over at the boy who was stood alone. Sirius was an odd name, y/n thought as he seemed to snap out of his trance and run over to them, his eyes never once leaving her.
Genevieve cleared her throat from beside her and she finally looked away from the tall black haired boy and towards the three girls around her who were all watching the pair with confused looks. She coughed quietly before staring up at the boys infant of her, putting on a smile and trying to push aside the confusion she was feeling
"Hello, I'm Y/n" She introduced and the tallest of the boys smiled back at her.
"Remus" He mumbled, reaching out and shaking her hand "This is Peter" He continued, motioning to the smaller boy in the back who gave her a lopsided smile.
"And this is Sirius, I don't know what's gotten into him he's usually much more talkative" Remus finished and Y/n let herself look back at the odd boy with the grey around him.
"Nice to meet you" He spoke quietly. His voice was deep but he had a kindness about his tone that she hadn't expected from the look of him.
"I'm Genevieve. It's been lovely meeting you all, hopefully we become friends however we have to get back to the carriages soon or they will start to wonder where we have gone" She said kindly, smiling at the group of Hogwarts students, though especially at Remus.
"We could walk you back" Remus offered though the suggestion was rejected politely by Genevieve who blushed at the boys kindness but ensured that it wasn't necessary. Y/n smiled at the exchange before she rose to her feet, the rest of the girls following suit and y/n reaching down to pick up the blanket and folding it under her arm.
"We'll see you at dinner ye" Lily asked the pair and they nodded, ensuring that they would look for them in the hall later in the evening.
***
With the next day came the news of the yule ball, a dance that was held during every triwizard tournament on Christmas Eve. Of course they still had over a month to prepare for the dance, it only being the beginning of November. Y/n had written home as soon as she was able to and had asked her mum to send her a dress as soon as possibly.
In the mean time she decided she would research the odd boy that was Sirius Black. When she had learnt his full name she had recognised it immediately and recalled a conversation she had heard a few christmases ago between her parents and their friends. She suspected however that Sirius wasn't like the rest of his family, he certainly didn't come across as evil and twisted as the people her parents had been talking about.
But due to this past knowledge she knew that he wasn't some magic creature that glowed, he was a normal person who to everyone else just looked like an extremely attractive teenager. It didn't take her long to realise that nobody else could see the grey that surrounded him.
And so she spent every second grey she had free in the library browsing as many books as she could about glowing men. She obviously never found anything but none the less she didn't stop trying. Based off his reaction to her she assumed that to him perhaps she looked odd also in some way. She wasn't sure in what way and it's not like she could ask him but she was almost certain he didn't view her as normal either.
Eventually after what felt like 100s of books she found one that seemed to explain what was happening, though the girl struggled massively to believe it. The book stated that when two people are destined to one another they have a connection that nobody else can see, this connection shows as an aura around said person which is coloured based on the individuals emotions.
The only things that indicated that this wasn't what she had with Sirius Black was that it was in a book of myths, 'soulmate folklore and myths' to be more specific. But maybe it was real and so few people experienced it that it was believed to be a myth. She had never heard of it before but this seemed to be a perfect description of what was happening.
She flipped to the next page which held a table that explained what each colour meant.
Red: Anger or lust.
Blue: Calmness.
Yellow: Happiness.
Green: Disappointment.
Purple: Excitement.
Grey: Regular sadness or stoicism
Black: Coldness or depression.
Pink: Love
White: Neutral happiness or contentment.
She felt her heart sink when she read the description of grey and black, especially when she recalled just how dark the grey colour was surrounding him. She suspected it was almost black.
She decided to check the book out and when she turned out of the library the next thing she knew she was bumping full force into somebody, pulling back quickly and leaning down to pick up the book that had fallen from her hands. She straightened herself up and brushed her hands down her blue robes, ridding it off any creases.
She started apologising to the mystery person but when she finally looked up at them her voice died in her throat.
"I-I'm sorry I wasn't watching where I was going" She whispered, staring at the boy in front of her. She noticed that his bubble of colour had gotten even darker.
"That's no problem, are you alright?" He asked, breaking their eye contact to look down at the book held in her arms. "Looks older than us, what's it about"
"Oh just a bunch of rubbish to be honest" She answered quickly, not wanting to give him any indication at what she was really looking into "and I'm fine, it was just a bump"
"Maybe I'll read it when you're done, find out about some rubbish" He grinned and she returned the smile.
"Are you heading back to the carriages" asked the boy, motioning with his hand to the large entrance doors in front of them.
"I am ye"
"I'll walk you back"
"Oh no that's alright, it's cold out and you'll have to walk back" she assured him quickly.
"I insist, and we always have warming charms"
A comfortable chatter filled the air around them as they began their walk to the carriages at the far end of the grounds. She found herself very at ease with him and there was no moment of awkwardness once they had began to talk. They discussed lots, from friends to school work to the dance. Finally after around 10 minutes of walking they reached the carriages, coming to a stop near the doors.
"It was nice talking to you, hopefully I see you again soon" He said looking down at his hands.
"I'm sure you will" She smiled before rising to her tip toes and leaving a gentle kiss on her cheek, only lingering for a few seconds before turning away and entering the carriages without looking back.
***
The yule ball had approached faster than y/n had anticipated and before she realised how close it was she was stood in front of the mirror adjusting her dark blue floor length dress in the mirror.
Her date was one of her friends from beauxbatons, she had hoped deep down that Sirius would ask her but he never did. Over the months that had past since she had met the boy she had done more and more research into the aura soulmate theory and had come to the conclusion that Sirius was her soulmate. whether they were friendship soulmates or more she didn't quite know yet. But she still liked it.
She finally decided that she was ready to go and made her way out of the dorm room, finding her date. Louis was stood beside the fire and looked over at her when she entered, smiling at her.
"You look lovely, maybe Mr Mysterious like steal you away from me" He said referencing Sirius, walking towards her and linking her arm through his.
"I doubt it, but maybe" She joked back with a grin. They quickly made their way out of the carriages and as they stepped out the door into the cold winter air they spied Remus, who had after week of persuasion and hyping up plucked up the courage to ask out Genevieve.
"You can go in Remus, she won't be long she was just finishing up" Y/n smiled at the boy who was clearly feeling out of place.
"Alright thank you, I'll see you later" He responded quickly, leaving to enter the carriages and leaving the pair to descend to the castle.
The great hall was decorated beautifully with snow falling from the celling but disappearing before it could reach the students below, there was live music at the front of the hall and the whole room was decorated in white.
Making their way to the drink table they picked up some of the punch from the bowl and made their way over to one of the tables. as they sat down she spied the marauders sat at a table on the opposite side of the hall, Sirius' eyes trained firmly on her. She smiled over at him and he returned it without hesitation.
They had talked only a few times over the months since she had bumped into him and they got on well but they didn't seem to cross paths all to often, or at least very rarely when they were alone. she had quickly realised that he didn't have a good relationship with his family when they bumped into his brother in the year below them who he talked with very bluntly.
"You know, you could have always asked him out" Louis said with a chuckle as he watched the two staring at each other.
"It was too late to ask, besides he's probably already got a date. And you could have asked Millie from Ravenclaw that you've been crushing on but you never" She rebutted, the French boy blushing in response.
"Do you want to dance" He asked when the song changed and she nodded happily, getting up and making her way over to the dance floor. Within a few minuets the song had changed again to a much slower one and couples started the slow dance together. The pair looked at each other awkwardly, knowing that their feelings never went past anything platonic and a slow dance would be awkward.
They were spared from the awkward situation when she heard someone clearing their throat behind her, she seen Louis grinning cheekily at whoever it was behind her and based on his reaction she knew who it was before she even looked.
Slowly turning around she was met with a pair of dark eyes which belonged to a boy who was still surrounded by a dark bubble of grey which hadn't changed shade in months.
"Sirius?' She asked in confusion to which he simply outstretched his hand towards her.
"Would you like to dance with me" He asked her politely, watching her with anticipation. She was at a loss for words and Sirius furrowed his brows at the lack of words.
"She would love to" Louis spoke for her, and she quickly nodded her head, clearing her throat and accepting the offer.
The tall boy took her hand in his gently and pulled her into the crowd, keeping his eyes on hers. When they reached the centre of the dance floor he wrapped his arms around her waist, hers reaching up around his neck.
"You look beautiful" He whispered and she smiled up at him. For someone who was so confident with everyone else he lost all his charisma when it came to her. He was so shy he wondered if something must be wrong with him.
"You're not too bad yourself" She giggled and he laughed in response.
They fell silent for a few moment and y/n could have sworn they were in a room alone for everything and everyone other than him had disappeared.
"I read that book you borrowed from the library a few months back" He told her quietly. Tucking a hair behind her shoulder, his fingers gently brushed over her skin.
"And what did it tell" He only just heard her, her voice being so quiet.
"It told me that you are my soulmate and that you are always either happy or excited" He said with a smile "what did it tell you?" He returned
"It told me that you're my soulmate and that you are always sad" She replied with a frown
"Now that's a lot to get into love, maybe we'll talk about it another day"
"Are you happy right now?" She asked him, breaking their eye contact and resting her head against his chest.
"Happier than I've been in years" he answered, continuing the sway gently to the music, her wrapped firmly in his arms.
It was at this moment that Y/n noticed that the colour around her soulmate had in fact turned into a far lighter grey. It was now closer to white than it was black and she smiled at the change.
The pairs relationship only grew in the remanding months of the school year. They fell in love everyday and he told her about why his colour was grey. Before long their relationship had turned physical and they were rarely apart. She spent more nights in his bed than she did in her own and she couldn't say she regretted a moment of it, even despite the future they had in front of them though they didn't know it at the time.
When the school year came to a close the unofficial couple kissed goodbye alongside their friends who had formed a group after the relationship between James and Lily turned official. As did Remus and Genevieves. Sirius and Y/n were the only two not officially together. But they believed their connect was stronger, stronger than the need for titles.
"I'll see you soon ye" He asked her, his hand cupping her face.
"I'm sure you will" She answered quickly, she believed it too.
He leaned down quickly and pressed a kiss to her lips, pulling away when the headmistress called for the beauxbaton students to board the carriages.
"I love you" He breathed, finally pulling away fully and smiling sadly at her.
"I love you too" She said firmly, before turning around and leaving the beautiful school which was Hogwarts and the even more beautiful boy who was Sirius Black.
***
4 years later
The Wizarding War had taken its grip on the magical world almost as soon as Y/n and the marauders left school. Y/n being from a very magical family had known who Voldemort was for years, he had been at school with her father and after he began gaining power in 1970 her dad had worried that he would come knocking, wanting more followers and looking to his old school mates and acquaintances to fill these spots in his ranks.
Her father, having been in Slytherin house during his school days, fell into this category and it had caused a great deal of stress on him, ultimately resulting in his choice to sent his daughter to a school in a different country to avoid any possible cross over.
It was in late 1978 - only months after Y/n graduated - that the war got bad, the government had become corrupt and the monster had his ropes in every aspect of Wizarding society all across the world, almost one in four people you talked to were a follower of his.
It wasn't long after this power was achieved that Voldemort's followers came to their door and met with her father, trying to recruit him due to his impressive auror performance over the years.
Her father had pretended to agree and let the men out of the house, telling them he would appear at the Black family home in a matter of days to speak to 'Tom', as he called him. However as soon as they left bags where packed and the family of three went into hiding for over four years, never staying in one place for longer than a month at a time.
She had only stayed in touch with Genevieve though she hadn't met her in just short of 3 years. She heard bits and pieces about Lily, Marlene, Alice and the boys from Gen. They were all fighting in the war against Voldemort and by 1981 they were all also in hiding. She would always look for him in the papers and would sit up every evening to listen to the death toll and names listed, listening out for any recognisable names but especially his.
She had missed him direly through the war and had constantly worried about what he was doing and if he was safe.
The end of the war came suddenly on halloween night in 1981, with a couple in south east England being murdered and their one year old son somehow surviving the killing curse. Something happened that night that resulted in his survival and the disappearance of Voldemort, nobody knew what but there was too much happiness for people to really care that much at the time being.
Y/n returned to her family home with her parents and quickly contacted Genevieve to meet for a coffee the following day. Genevieve had managed to keep her relationship with Remus Lupin going through the war and by mid 1980, at only 20 years old, they had welcomed their first child. Y/n was informed through a letter that she was the god mother of their daughter Hope Y/n Lupin. She was yet to meet the child but was to meet her soon.
Genevieve told her during their coffee that her and Remus had been waiting for the end of the war to get married and now that it had finally ended they had booked the event for three weeks time, wanting to be married sooner rather than later.
"I want you to be my maid of honour" She smiled, holding her coffee mug between her hands.
"I would love to" Y/n replied excitedly.
"We've all missed you, you know" Genevieve said sadly
"I've missed you all too, so much" They fell silent for a few moments before Y/n finally asked the question she had been wondering.
"How is he" She asked, fiddling with her hands as to avoid eye contact.
"I'm honestly not sure. None of us have seen him in nearly a year. He writes occasionally to keep us updated on his general location and any updates on his life and we return the owl with a letter of our own though we never know where the owl goes, just that he gets it" Genevieve responded with a pensive tone to her voice.
"He missed you the most, Remus said it was noticeable within weeks of you going into hiding" she continued "He was constantly worried something had happened to you and I think my presence just worsened it because we are such good friends"
"I'm sure he'll come to the wedding, he wouldn't miss it" Y/n replied, trying her best to brush it off. She would be lying if she said she hadn't worried about him everyday but this wasn't information she was going to share. The news that he had gone on the run for as long as he had only worried her more and a part of her didn't want to know the colour of his aura for she knew it would be bad.
"Remus wrote him a letter, he wants him and James to be his best man instead of just one. We haven't heard back yet but he knows the date and location"
***
The wedding was beautiful in every way. It was small and was held in a church in Remus' hometown, followed by a reception that was attended by 50 people. Sirius hadn't yet shown but y/n believed he would.
Her dress was a beautiful blue colour, similar to that of their school robes all those years ago. She had shed a tear at the vows and her beautiful little godchild had followed her around all day, having not long learnt to walk.
When the reception came y/n found her seat at the front table two seats away from the happily married couple. Lily was sat on her right and James next to his wife, the two had a son named harry a few months after Remus and Genevieve had Hope and the little boy, named Harry, was running about cheerfully on the dance floor with the little girl.
The couple fell in to easy conversation with their old friend with lots of hugs and laughs being exchanged. After awhile she heard someone clear their voice behind her and she turned to look at the tall man who looked much like he did when she last seen him.
"May I sit here" He asked awkwardly, looking down at the name tag that clearly said 'Sirius Black' next to her own name tag, meaning he was to sit to her left.
"Of course" She answered in shook.
"It's good to see you again mate, is this you back" James asked quickly, standing up and hugging his best friend.
"I do hope so" He answered with a halfhearted smile. Lily followed suit in hugging him and giving him a reassuring smile. It was clear to Y/n that though she had missed whatever had gone down Sirius' hadn't left for good reason and it seemed everyone had been worried for him.
He had already sat down by the time she snapped back to reality and could hug him and so she chose instead to just look at him, it had been so long she could barely even comprehend that he was in front of her even though she had expected him.
"How have you been" He asked her gently, his eyebrows furrowed.
"Oh all right, it's better now we can live our lives normally again. Or at least as normal as we can given everything we've been through" She answered, staring down the table and noticing all the eyes on the pair. Remus looked thrilled to have his friend back.
She wished she hadn't noticed it but it didn't take her long to realise that the aura around him had gone from the light grey it was when she last seen him to jet black. It made her heart drop and she wanted to help but she suspected hers was no longer the yellow it had been when they were at school.
Seeing the next generation running around them as they fell into easy chatter made her wonder what would have happened if there was no war, if her and Sirius had been allowed to pursue their relationship in a natural way. Would they have been married by now like Lily and James? Would they have children? a house? She wondered many things because she knew these were all things she wanted with him.
The first dance began and the beautiful newlyweds took to the dance floor. The slow dance that had played at the yule ball in their 7th year began to play and a tear came to most of the halls eye and Louis who had been stood in the crowd watching them dance grinned over at her, remembering the yule ball.
"Would you like to dance with me" Sirius asked her shyly as other couples started to take the floor as well which she simply nodded her head to.
They found themselves in a similar position to that of the yule ball, his arms around her waist and hers around his neck.
"I've missed you so much" She whispered against his shoulder, her heels making her taller than usual.
"I missed you too, more than anything" He told her, kissing her head gently.
"What colour am I" She asked him quietly, they had decided when they figured out what the colours meant that it would be best to keep it to themselves, not wanting to complicate things.
"Black" he responded sadly "You used to always be yellow, no matter what"
"I used to see the beauty in this world, now I see the truth" she said quietly "I guess that effects my colours"
"For awhile there was little beauty in this country, that's not how it is anymore. One day soon you'll be yellow again" he promised her and she smiled halfheartedly at him.
"And one day you won't be black or grey anymore. I'm hoping for yellow or white"
"I suspect pink" he told her, leaning down and capturing her lips between his own, moving his lips against hers.
***
7 years later
Marriage hadn't at all been what Y/n and Sirius Black had expected, they had heard stories from their married friends that the first 2 years were the most difficult, Remus and Genevieve had even come close to divorce in their second year, but the Blacks never found this to be the truth for them. They found that their relationship became rocky in the year after they had their first son, Charlie.
They hadn't planned to have children so soon, having been married for 4 years but both still very much struggling with the aftermath of the war that had ended 7 years ago. They knew they wanted children but they also knew that mentally they weren't ready to look after another person, not when they were as vulnerable as they were already.
Therefore when she found out she was pregnant she felt an automatic pang of dread, however to her surprise Sirius had taken it well. He had assured her that though it wasn't planned they could manage and would do the best they could.
The difficulty came when Charlie had been born. Sirius had struggled with the transition into fatherhood and had even at times left their family home for weeks at a time. This caused huge stress on Y/n, feeling as though she had been left to do everything on her own.
She started to resent her husband for not caring or trying enough when all she done was try. They would sleep in different beds when he was home and he barely seen their son for the first 6 months. It was when she kicked him out and forced him to buy his own flat that he realised what he had done, showing up at the house a few months later begging for forgiveness.
"I'm sorry Y/n, i'll do better, I promise i'll do better" He begged her, stood on the door step being drenched by the rain. When she had opened the door and seen him she attempted to shut the door on him, but he blocked it with his foot and asked her to hear him out.
"You had plenty of time to do better Sirius, it's not just me I have to lookout for it's my son" She snapped, once again trying to shut the door but stopping when he continued talking.
"Our son, he's our son and I love him and I want to be here, I want to do this with you" He said quickly, taking a step forward to be slightly covered from the rain.
"I want to fix things with you Y/n, I need you" he told her and she just nodded her head.
"We'll see" She said bluntly.
She wanted to take him back so badly. She thought about him every day and wanted nothing more than the fairytale lives that her friends were living in their marriages, not being on the brink of divorce and raising their children alone. But she couldn't trust him like she used to. She had a perfect image of him in her head and he tore it down and replaced it with someone she couldn't trust.
"Can I see him" He asked sadly, doubting he would ever get his wife back with her response.
"He's asleep"
"I'll be quick"
"You know where the nursery is" She responded, stepping to the side and letting him in the house. It was odd seeing him back in the home they had bought together though only she now occupied. He had always looked at home in the place, for the first viewing he looked at ease and fit in to the homely environment perfectly, somehow despite everything that happened he still did.
She followed behind him up to the nursery and watched him enter the room quietly. She leaned against the door frame and watched him look down at Charlie, who was three weeks of turning 1.
Charlie started to wake and when his eyes opened he quickly caught sight of his father and woke up quickly.
"Daddy!" He exclaimed standing up in the crib and reaching his arms up to his dad, making grabbing hands.
"Hi buddy" Sirius whispered, picking him up and kissing the top of his head, Charlie giggling and grinning.
"Where did you go" Charlies voice was far quieter than it had been initially and Y/n guessed that he was copying his dad.
"I went away for awhile, but I'm back now and I'm not going anywhere again" Sirius promised which got a large grin from Charlie.
"How about you go back to sleep and i'll see you later ye, it's late and mummy wants to go to sleep" Charlies face dropped at this, it clear to Sirius that he thought he wouldn't see his dad in ages again
"I'll be here when you wake up bud, I promise" At that he put him back in his crib and told him a story in attempt to get him back to sleep, at last he heard Charlie's breathing evening out and he turned to leave the room, finding his wife stood at the door watching. She stepped back again letting him out and she shut the door as gently as she could.
"What time does he wake up at usually" Sirius asked. It was now that Y/n finally took notice of the colour surrounding the man infant of her. He was green which was a new colour for him, it meant he was disappointed. Whether he was disappointed in himself or in not getting her back she didn't know, however she suspected it was the first as she could see regret clear in his features as he witnessed the life he had ruined.
"around 6AM, though sometimes later" She answer. He nodded and quickly told her that he would be here at half 5.
"Don't bother" She whispered as she began to walk away from him towards the spare bedroom and their old shared bedroom. He looked shocked and saddened at her words and went to protest when she continued on. "Its late, you can stay the night. You know where the spear bedroom is"
"Thank you, Thank you so much" He exclaimed
"If you genuinely want to be a part of this family again Sirius, and you truly love us, I will give you another chance. It will take time and it will take a lot for me to trust you again. But all I want is what's best of Charlie and he clearly needs you as well" She said, running him speechless.
"As well?" he asked after a few moments of silence
"Don't do that, you know I needed you and you failed. Merlin knows why I'm giving you the chance to hurt me again but I guess that's what I'm doing. Where are you staying" she asked him, opening the door to the spare bedroom and letting him in.
"James'" Sirius answered simply.
"I thought you got a flat" she asked him.
"I did, but I couldn't stay there on my own, it was to lonely knowing had a family and lived alone" he told her simply.
"You can stay here. I still have the divorce papers Sirius and I swear I will sign them. If you don't step up your game I will sign them, no matter how much I don't want to"
"I love you Y/n"
"I love you too Sirius" she answered "Please just don't make it so difficult for me to do so"
summery - James Potters best friend from childhood realises she loves him. requested by anon "Can you write a friends to lovers james potter fic? I loved regret and the way you want, i seriously cant get enough of your james fics"
warning - none i don't think, this hasn't been edited yet so read with caution.
word count - 5,656
Reading time - 27 mins 30 seconds
***
James Potter had been nothing short of heartbroken when he found out at eleven years old that his lifelong best friend wasn't to be joining him at Hogwarts in September but instead was going to school somewhere in France, which would have been fine had it not been miles away from where he would be. He forgot about his heartbreak however when he got to Hogwarts and met his three best friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew along side who he was sure was the love of his life, Lily Evans.
He got to spend time with his childhood best friend during every holiday that he didn't stay at Hogwarts. But these meetings were always short lived and therefore after awhile their friendship wasn't as strong as it had been in earlier years. The letters went from daily, to weekly, to monthly, then eventually to nearly nothing at all.
However when they met again each Christmas and summer at the old tree house that was in the forest behind their neighbouring houses it was as though they had never been apart at all.
This summer was slightly different as one of James' school friends had joined him. He was called Sirius Black and y/n being from a respectable pure blood family recognised the name immediately and was rather apprehensive of the tall brunette boy but quickly learned to like him, realising he was nothing like the other Black family members she had met.
On top of this she needed to tell James something. She was waiting until the end of summer to tell him, hoping for a moment alone with him to break the news.
This moment came when the group of three had climbed the hill across from their town and gotten to the top in less than half an hour. Sirius had decided he was going to head home earlier than the other two, claiming that he needed to pack for Hogwarts because he didn't want to leave it last minute like he did the year before.
When the two had been left alone they collapsed onto the ground, laying next to one another on the grass, staring up at the sky which was starting to grow darker. It wasn't as warm as it had been a few weeks ago as September quickly approached however it was far from cold, a light breeze dusting over them.
She made a small sound of complaint at the feeling of the harsh ground under her head and he quickly lifted his arm, she leaned her head against his shoulder and looked up at him, meeting his eye and smiling.
"It's been a good summer" Said the girl quietly, looking back up at the sky, stars starting to reveal themselves after hours of hiding.
"One of the best" James quickly agreed, playing with her fingers which were sat right beside his.
"Sirius is great. I'm really happy you have him, he seems like a great friend" She told him and he grinned at the news that she liked him. He had worried before they met that they wouldn't get on because had that been the case he'd have no idea what to do.
"I'm glad you like him, I was worried you wouldn't get on. Next summer i'll try and have the other boys over so you can meet them. You'd love them too, especially Remus. You and Remus would make great friends you are so similar" James said excitedly.
Y/n decided this would be the perfect time to tell him. If he was so excited for her to meet his friends then surely he would be happy about what she has to tell him
"About that, I have something I need to tell you" She began and he frowned, looking down at her through his eyelashes.
"Is everything okay?" He asked her, his hand slipping from hers to her upper arm
"It's better than okay" She assured him "with everything going on with that dark wizards mum and dad want me closer to home in case something happens and they need me back. They don't feel comfortable with me still going to Beauxbatons anymore" Before she could finish her sentence he sat up quickly, her following suit.
"If you're away to tell me-" He started excitedly, trailing off as she smiled at him
"I'll be joining you on Monday" she confirmed and he jumped up. pulling her up with him and spinning her around.
"You're coming to Hogwarts!" he yelled and she laughed at his excitement "this is the best news ever" He started running down the hill towards Sirius, who was just a little dot at the bottom walking in the opposite direction.
"Padfoot wait up, you'll never believe it" She heard him yell after the boy who finally stopped walking and turned towards him. Y/n sat back down, looking over the small village in Devon and pulled her knees to her chest. For the first time since she has began school she was actually excited for summer to end.
***
James had been right about her forming a friendship with Remus. They were very very similar people and had hit it off as soon as she had entered the compartment on the train alongside James and Sirius and once again when she sat down at the Gryffindor table after the sorting. When she was sorted into Gryffindor James has cheered the loudest, followed closely by Sirius.
However something that James hadn’t accounted for was the friendships she would make with her roommates, who happened to be Lily, Marlene and Alice. Y/n knew who Lily was and when she found out they were to be roommates she had worried that the red head would hate her due to her friendship with James. However that didn’t happen, the two girls got on very well and became quick friends.
One Friday afternoon, y/n found herself walking along the corridor with Lily, making their way back to the common room after their final class of the week ended. She had been at Hogwarts for 3 months and had had more fun than she did in 5 years in France.
“How long have you and James been friends” Lily asked her curiously as they passed a group of Hufflepuffs who smiled at them.
Smiling back she told her that they had been friends since they were born pretty much and had been inseparable until they turned 11 and went to different school.
“He really likes you, you know” Y/n told the ginger girl beside her to which all she received was a scoff. “I’m serious Lils, he talked about you all the time before i came here. In fact he still does”
“He doesn’t really he just thinks he does” Lily responded.
“You and I are very similar. I think he came here and missed you so he deflected his feelings onto someone who reminded him of you. That person just so happened to be me” Lily grinned to which Y/n’s eyes widened, she couldn’t believe Lily really thought something so far fetched. Y/n went to reply when she hard footsteps quickly approaching them from behind and an arm was wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her into someones side
“Look who it is, my favourite girls” James said, looking down at his best friend who he was much taller than, having had a massive growth spurt only last year, and squeezing her shoulder. Remus appeared at the other side of Lily and the pair shared a look as they observed the two in front of them. Y/n caught this interaction after she smiled back at James and it occurred to her then that Lily wasn't the only one who thought James felt something more for her.
She felt a funny feeling in her tummy at both the feeling of him close to her and knowing what some of their friends thought. She had never felt anything like that before.
***
Y/n and James had both gone home during the Christmas holidays, this time without Sirius. He had decided to stay at school to keep Marlene company as she was to be staying. When they got home they never seen each other for a few days, having been busy visiting other family members and just doing holiday things. When they did next see each other it was relatively late on Christmas eve and James had climbed into her bedroom window.
“James why can't you just use the door” She laughed as he tumbled in, falling onto her bed. She was sat at her desk, writing out her last few Christmas cards before she would send them, along side the presents she had bought, with her owl to her old bauxbatons friend.
“I need your opinion on something” He told her, ignoring her question. She hummed in acknowledgement, encouraging him to carry on.
“Well you’re a girl” He began apprehensively
“I’m glad you’ve noticed” She said back in a slightly impatient manner, turning to look at the boy sat on her bed with raised eyebrows only now noticing the two bottles in his hand.
“Which do you recon Lily would like best” She felt a sharp pain in her chest when she heard the question and cringed at herself for feeling at all jealous.
“How would I know, me and lily aren’t the same person you know” she answered, reaching out and taking the bottles that he handed her.
“You’d might as well be” he answered, watching her as she smelled the first bottle. She took notice of the fact that he did acknowledge that his best friend of 16 years was remarkably similar to that of who he claimed was the love of his life. She doubted James had ever had any feelings for her like lily said, however she found a part of herself wishing he did. For she had realised when Lily had told her what she thought about James’ feelings that she was actually the one who had the hidden crush.
She assumed that it had started because he had become part of her everyday life again, and having him around her so much had just sparked something she hadn’t experienced with him during their short periods of time together during holidays where the end of their time was always in the near future.
She realised she had zoned out when the boy sat on her bed cleared his throat and when she finally looked at him he had furrowed his eyebrows and was looking at her in concern.
“What’s wrong” He asked her
“Nothing, just tired” He seemed to accept the answer with little hesitation and nodded back to the two bottles in her hands that she had now smelt. She cleared her throat awkwardly and handed them both back to him
“I’d say the second one, she already has one very similar to the first and she rarely uses it” She told him, turning back to the small stack of Christmas cards on her desk and beginning to put them into their envelopes.
She could feel James’ stare bore into her back and she straightened up in her chair slightly, feeling awkward.
She considered for a moment telling James that she had accepted a date to hogsmade on the first weekend back but decided not to, having a bad feeling that he wouldn’t take the news well. Knowing he would find out eventually she decided to handle the situation in another way.
"I've been thinking, now that I'm friends with lily I could try and talk to her about going on a date with you" Giving her owl the last package and giving it a small treat she opening the window to let the bird out and opted to watching it fly away rather than looking back to James.
"You're kidding" He exclaimed. She forced herself to laugh at his excitement, pretending it never hurt at all. She was the one to propose the idea.
"Not one bit, She is coming over for a movie night tomorrow and I'll talk to her about it then. I can be very persuasive when I want to be"
"If I ever take you for granted again y/n just remind me of this moment" He told her, jumping up from her bed and giving her a quick hug before he climbed back through her window and into her back garden.
"Merry Christmas James" She yelled after him, when she checked her watch and realised it was 12:03.
"Merry Christmas Y/n" He yelled back before disappearing behind the trees that separated their gardens.
***
The holidays had come and gone and the snow that blanketed the grounds of Hogwarts started to melt, indicating the beginning of spring and the approach of the first hogmades weekend of the year. Lily had agreed to go out with James after lots of explaining and begging. James of course had been ecstatic about the news and didn't seem to care about what it had taken or why his best friend had done so much to make it happen, too busy in his bubble of happiness to care.
"I still think you should tell him y/n" Lily mumbled as they walked towards their table at the back of the library. All of the girls knew about her date and has done nothing but attempt to persuade her to tell James for over a week now.
"You know what he's like Lils, he's why too protective to be happy about it. or even mutual for that matter" She responded for what felt like the hundredth time.
"And you still haven't stopped to think about why he's so protective" lily questioned with a smirk.
"Oh don't start. He views me as a sister, it's not that serious. its just how we are"
"Just how you are my arse. He loves you and deep down you know it. I don't get why you can't just accept it and go on a date with him yourself instead of forcing me to do so" The red head complained, finally reaching their seats and taking out their work.
"It's just not like that, honestly" She couldn't think of anything worse than admitting her feelings so anyone out loud.
The more she thought about telling Lily or Remus the more she realised it was simply a terrible idea. Remus would undoubtedly tell James which would swiftly end their friendship and she couldn't help but think that deep down Lily did have feelings for James, and that the news of her friends feelings would cause a drift in their friendship.
"Whatever you say" Lily replied with a laugh "Anyway what are you wearing for your date with Abbot"
***
It took little effort to sneak out of the castle without James or any of his friends seeing her and her date Henry Abbot. Henry was a Hufflepuff that she shared a few classes with, when he had asked her out she has been ecstatic and agreed instantly. But now most of that excitement was gone and the feeling of stress and guilt about going behind her friends back took over.
By the time they had made it to Hogwarts the pair had already discussed most of what they had in common, which was very little, but they carried on as thought it hadn't started to grow awkward and he acted like he hadn't noticed her looking over her shoulder constantly.
"Why don't we head to the three broomsticks, hopefully it will be a bit warmer than it is out here" He smiled down at her and y/n nodded with a polite smile.
"That sounds great" As they made their way to the crooked stone building at the corner of town they fell into a somewhat comfortable silence and she let herself look around more, raising her eyebrows in surprise when he slipped her hand into his.
Just to her luck it was at this moment that she spotted James, who it seemed had seen her long along. Lily was stood beside him trying to act was though she was enjoying herself and James looked as though he had seen red. She could see now that her plan to distract James to the point of not caring that she had a date would not work and she also realised that her date with Henry was not in any way going to diminish her feelings for James.
"You fancy him" Came a voice from beside her that caught her of guard though she quickly realised it was Henry who had a rather amused look on his face
"I don't know what you're talking about" She mumbled as she pulled her eyes away from James and pulled her date towards the three broomsticks.
"Potter, you fancy him" He repeated with a laugh. "It's fine, I'm not offended"
"I do not fancy James" She told him firmly.
"There's nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to most girls at this school at some point or another. they either fall for Potter or Black" He told her grinning and she just rolled her eyes and laughed.
"He's my best friend, and lily is a good friend of mine also" She responded "As soon as she realises his feelings for her they will be happy together"
"My friends don't think he actually likes her you know" He told her as they entered the three broomsticks at last, the feeling of his James trailing after her finally lifting. "What would you like"
"A butter beer please" She answered with a small smile and he nodded, telling her to go find a table and he'd be right over
She left his side and looked around her, finding a table in the back under a window. Making her way over to it she slipped onto one of the rather uncomfortable seats and waited for Henry to return.
"What are you doing" She heard the familiar voice of James asking as he sat down on the seat in front of her without waiting for an invitation.
"I should be asking you that question" She answered sarcastically, look up at him with narrowed eyes before look back to the bar to see what was taking Henry so long, only to find he was being somewhat harassed by Sirius.
"Well you're obviously on a date, I was more asking why you never told me" He bit back, pulling her attention back to him.
"What do you want James, you're not my father. And where's Lily" She said calmly, thought feeling anything but. All she had wanted was to be left alone for an afternoon and get to know someone knew, but apparently that was too much to ask when it came to James.
"I want you to tell your date that it didn't work out and that you'd best be going" He told her to which she laughed "And Lily is waiting outside"
"Why would I do that, it is working out and I don't want to leave. You have a date with the girl of your dreams and you're leaving her outside on her own to pester me about something that is none of your business" She told, having lost her patience and growing tired of his behaviour.
"The dates just not what I expected is all" He responded with an agitated expression.
"Well that's not my fault, Maybe now you can move on and find someone who actually wants you" Y/n snapped, not thinking about her words or how they could hurt him.
At long last Henry had managed to get away from Sirius and stood in front of the table with raised eyebrows, two butter beers in his hand.
"Everything alright mate" He asked James who looked up at him with a face of disgust. Sirius quickly appeared behind Henry and shot Y/n an apologetic look.
"Maybe we should leave Prongs. Lily is probably getting bored out there" Sirius told James to which he got an eye roll in response.
"I don't care mate" For some reason James' response had Y/n more angry at the boy than she had ever been before.
"Why do you always do this James, why can't you let me be happy" She mumbled, standing up and grabbing Henrys hand. "Talk to me when you decide you are going to act your age and stop being such an arsehole" At that she left the pub with Henrys hand firmly held in her. On their way out they seen Lily sat on the wall across from the pub and she gave a sorry smile when she spotted the pair
"I'm sorry Y/n, I tried to stop him" She said quickly and Y/n just shook her head
"It's not your fault Lily, I'll see you back at the castle" She smiled as she made her way to the exit of Hogsmade.
"It seems my friends where right about his feelings then" Henry joked as they made their way back in silence to the castle
"Maybe they were" She agreed with a small laugh "I'm sorry it went so badly at the end, I've had a good day"
"It's been good, though I do think we are better of as friends. You are clearly very involve with Mr Jealousy and if i'm not wrong he's most definitely in love with you" Henry said with a chuckle, causing Y/ns head to drop in guilt.
"Ok you're right but he doesn't love me back, he's to busy loving Lily" She mumbled and he shook his head quickly
"He left her outside a pub in the Scottish highlands march weather to come and persuade you not to date me, a boy he doesn't even know so doesn't have any grudge against. You can't really think he actually loves her. And she certainly doesn't love him"
***
James hadn't talked to Y/n since the incident at the three broom sticks and she certainly didn't opposed the silence she got from him. She was annoyed at him for trying to ruin what could have been a successful date and for treating lily the way he did even though the red head had assured her many times that she didn't care and had only agreed to the date for her sake anyway, not because she fancied him.
James on the other hand had no idea why he was as annoyed at he was and neither did hid friends. He hadn't the right to be annoyed at her for going on a date with another boy because they were just friends. It didn't take his friends long to catch on to what the issue actually was and that he did in fact fancy her. Him no longer pursuing Lily was just the cherry on top that confirmed their assumptions.
"Maybe you should talk to him" Lily urged as they sat at a table in the common room with Marlene and Alice, a pile of books and parchment sat in front of them each as exams came closer and the work load got heavier
"No" Y/n mumbled as she scribbled down the last few sentences of one of her paragraphs in her potions essay which was due the next day.
"Come on, it's been over a month. I get you're both mad at one another, god knows what he's so mad over, but regardless it's time you talked about it" Marlene said, grabbing the scroll from her hand. Earning an eye roll and a glare.
"I agree with them y/n, it's gone on way too long. It's getting weird to be honest"
"If he wants to talk he can find me, he's the one hiding from me not the other way around" As if on cue the portrait swung open and in walked the marauders.
At the sight of the girls sat at the table Remus and Sirius made a B line towards them, being trailed awkwardly by James and Peter, an out of place position for the confident James Potter.
"What you up to ladies" Sirius asked as he perched himself on the arm of the sofa that was sat in front of the desk they were occupying.
"Studying Sirius, and if you had any sense you would be too. Exams are in almost a month" Y/n responded, grabbing her quill back from lily and carrying on with her essay, not looking at James once.
"Woah, what's with the hostile tone" He joked "Maybe we will join you" He carried on, a loud groan coming from the 4 girls.
"So much enthusiasm" He laughed but was cut off by James.
"I'm going to head to bed actually, very tired" He said and Y/n finally let herself look at him, finding him to already have his eyes firmly trained on her.
"Alright mate, we'll see you later" Remus responded after a few seconds of silent and James finally looked away, turning away from them and disappearing up the stairs.
"Will you please talk to him. He's way to stubborn to talk to you first but he knows he's in the wrong, trust me he talks about it and you every second of everyday" Remus begged and Y/n just scoffed and continued on yet again with her essay, at this rate she'd never finish it she thought.
"Y/n please, he's been a real mess. He's gotten so moody I'm struggling to live with him honestly" Sirius added
"Always the drama queen Sirius, always a drama queen" Lily joked "Anyway we've been telling her to talk to him for weeks, she just won't listen"
"What's the worst that could happen" Peter added for the first time.
She thought about it for a second and realised there really wasn't anything to loose. They would become friends again at some point because they always did find their way back to one another so what was really the point in ignoring him. If Sirius was being true and he did know he was wrong what good was she doing dragging it out?
"Fine" She finally agreed drawing a gasp from lily.
"Really, gosh I didn't think that would work" Marlene expressed her surprise.
"I can't promise we make up, If he doesn't stop being an arse he's getting the silent treatment for another month at least, and I mean it" Making her way up the boys stairs, ignoring the laughter that erupted at the table from her parting statement she tried to walk as slowly as she could, cursing Hogwarts for giving them a dorm so close to the entry.
She stood outside their dorm room and contemplated what she was going to say, but gave up after a few minuets realising that no matter how much she planned she never ended up saying what she had planned to say.
She knocked once before slowly opening the door, stepping in and closing it behind her. She quickly spied James who was lay face forward on his bed, his back facing her. She waited a second before saying anything and even considered leaving though knew he already knew someone had entered the room.
"James, I think we need to talk" At the sound if her voice his head had shot up and he had scuffled into a sitting position, staring at her as though she had returned from the dead.
"Ye" Was all he managed as she made her way over and sat down beside him on his bed.
“I don't want us to be fallen out anymore. You're my best friend and I don't like things as much without you. Not to mention I really don't like seeing you in the way I do right now" She rambled and he grinned half-heartedly down at her.
"Well its sorted then, we're fine" He confirmed and she was about to agree when she decided she would push the cause of the argument a little more to find out what he was thinking.
"Why didn't you like the date with Lily, James?" She asked quietly, knowing it was possibly a sensitive subject.
"It just wasn't what I expected was all" He told her simply and she nodded slightly.
"What did you expect then" She asked, leaning back against the bed frame, watching him as he fiddled with his hands.
"I dunno, I just expected it to be different" He said bluntly "I guess I expected it to be with her like it is with you, but it wasn't" he admitted guiltily, she mumbled a quiet 'oh' in response and looked away from him quickly.
Though she too had grown suspicious of his behaviour towards her she hadn't expected him to ever admit anything out loud, especially not to her.
"Were you jealous of Henry" James had scoffed quite quickly when he heard his name and Y/n simply rolled her eyes at his response "Don't be a dick about it James, he's a nice boy"
"He's an arsehole is what he is" he snarked back.
"Says the boy who interrupted my date and publicly argued with me over something that was none of his business" She responded quickly, his sigh was proof enough to her that he did know that he was wrong.
"I'm sorry" He told her softly.
"Ye I know"
"I love you" She smiled at him and leaned into his arms gently, hugging him.
"I know" she repeated.
"No I mean I love you, like how I thought I loved Lily" He mumbled against her shoulder. He felt her stiffen slightly against him and sighed at the response, taking the dragging silence as a rejection. she pulled away eventually placing her hands on either side of his jaw.
"You mean it" She whispered and he nodded.
A smile broke out on her face as she wasted no time in leaning in and finally pushing her lips against his after what felt like years of waiting. He quickly responded by moving his hand up to her face, hers falling down to his shoulder. He didn't mean to do it but before he could control himself he started laughing. She pulled away from him, looking at him with raised eyebrows.
"Really James" She asked, his laughter growing louder.
"How on earth did it take us this long to realise" He asked her after calming down.
"Speak for yourself I realised after my first month at this school, Lily and Remus pointed it out about you first but I didn't believe them" He raised his eyebrows at this
"They what" He asked.
"They said that you actually love me and and that you projected your feelings for me onto Lily in first year because you couldn't have me anymore" She told him and he laughed loudly once again.
"You know what, I think they might actually have been onto something" He mumbled before leaning in once again and kissing her.
***
5 Years Later
Y/n had always known that weddings were stressful. Being a Bridesmaid at Lilys wedding only further showed her this fact. After graduating Hogwarts there had been a war that seemed for awhile never ending. But it had ended and with it brought many weddings. James assumed that the burst in weddings was people trying to distract themselves from the horrors they faced in the aftermath of the war but Y/n believed it to be a lot more romantic than that.
She believed that so many were marrying because they knew that the only thing that beats hatred is love, and after surviving a time filled with so much hate what better way to celebrate than to do so with love. It made perfect sense to her because it had been the reason she had said yes to James when he had asked the question only two months ago.
The wedding had started to die down slightly, and after wishing farewells too a few of her high school acquaintances, including Henry Abbot who attended with his pregnant girlfriend and their two year old son.
It was here that she realises she hadn't seen James in awhile and she decided she would look for him. the wedding had been held in James and Y/ns town, Lilys now husband having been a friend of theirs who they had introduced to Lily in the summer after 6th year.
As she exited the large tent in the middle of the field she spied the silhouette of her fiancé up on the hill that looked over the village, the hill that she had told him she was be coming to Hogwarts atop of all those years ago. She started to make her way up the hill towards him and when he finally spotted her he smiled down waiting patiently for her to reach him.
"What are you doing up here love" She asked him as she made her way over to sit beside him on the grass, looking out ahead of them at their childhood homes in the distance, the houses that neither family occupied any longer.
"Just needed some air" he told her gently, reaching out and wrapping his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side.
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me Y/n L/n, and it all started in this little town" he said and she tilted her chin to look up at him, smiling brightly at the glimmer in his eye.
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me as well James Potter" she returned and he just chuckled, leaning down and kissing her forehead.
"We should get married here too. The forest behind our old house has that clearing in the middle, It's big enough and would work I think" he expressed and she raised to her knees and connected her lips to his, earning a quiet groan from him
"It sounds perfect James, absolutely perfect" she whispered into his mouth, his hand gripping at her waist as he admired her and the life he had managed to make with her.
Summery - based of illicit affair by Taylor swift or in which Sirius black begins a secret relationship with a pure blood Slytherin from his parents social group.
Warnings - low key angst but there’s also fluff so ye. this hasn’t been properly spell checked yet so beware.
Word count - 5,603
Reading time - 27 mins 20 seconds
***
Neither of them had ever intended for whatever it was that they had going on between them to last as long as it had done. It began a simple mistake they made while very drunk at a Christmas Eve Party in 1976. They had hated each other up until that evening where they were both forced into their best clothes for a party with the other rich pure blood families. They had both over drank massively and woke up in her bed naked the next morning. They said it would be a one time thing, a one time thing that nobody would ever find out about.
But then they returned to Hogwarts and within two weeks they found themselves sneaking around in empty classrooms and broom closets off quiet corridors or most regularly the room of requirements, and the only thing that stuck from the first time was that nobody could know.
It was now 1977 and they had been doing this for nearly 8 months. They had agreed after a few months that it was simply two people sleeping together, no feelings attached and certainly no relationship. It should have been black and white. Whenever they had free time they would meet up and sleep together. And In a lot of ways it made sense, he was the most fancied, sought after boy in the school and she was the female equivalent.
But somewhere along the road they started treating each other like more than a hookup. Though at the roots that’s all they were to one another they had both started to show innocent displays of affection and started trusting one another. Sirius had stopped sleeping with other girls months ago and at this point they were more a secret relationship than secretly sleeping together.
“I’ll see you later yeah” he asked. Currently they were in the room they had thought up for the room of requirements to take shape as. It had become their most common spot recently because not only did it have a bed and a sofa, and unavoidable privacy but it also meant Sirius’ friends couldn’t see them together on the map, something unique to only that room.
“I’d imagine so” she mumbled against his chest as they lay in the large bed. He gently played with her hair that was falling over her shoulders, the act they had been doing only minuets before having messed it up. Her fingers drew shapes absentmindedly over the skin near where her head was resting as they both caught their breath.
He couldn’t help but watch her, she was undeniably the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and contrary to what he had expected she was perfect for him. The way she touched him effected him in a way no bodies touch ever had done before. She fit with him in a way that made him believe whatever god there was had created her just for him, and him for her. She wasn’t the bitch he had initially thought she was, though she definitely knew how to act the part when she needed too. She made him laugh and smile and he was beginning to really care for her.
He knew deep down that after the initial shock and with a bit of an explanation his friends would come to like her and though it was still part of the worry about them being exposed his biggest fear was that his parents, particularly his mother, would approve. He didn’t want to in any way make them proud of him, and he knew that if they found out he was going with someone like her, better yet with a name as influential and respected as her own, they would be proud of him. And he just couldn’t do it.
Her worries were the opposite. Her parents would be accepting and she was happy with that, however her friends would be far from it and wouldn’t understand. They would hate him and make things far more difficult than they had to be. They would be under the impression that he was like his reputation and probably persuade her that he was using her.
“We should probably get back, our friends will be starting to wonder where we are” she said after a few minutes, beginning to sit up. Holding the covers against her body as she reached down to the floor to grab her clothes, he groaned her name at the feeling of her leaving his arms and reached back out the grab her, pulling her back against his chest
“Don’t leave me” he whined and a small giggle left her mouth as she leaned up and pecked his lips.
“You know I have to” she responded “they’ll get suspicious otherwise”
“So what” he asked, looking down at her as she watched him with raised eyebrows
“Sirius” she warning and he just groaned once again in response
“I don’t want to go, you’re so warm” he complained as he finally also sat up, looking around for his clothes as he turned away from her. She watched as he done so, admiring the man in front of her. She leaned over and left a gentle kiss to his shoulder
“It’s fine. We’ll see each other again tomorrow, we always do” she explained and he just nodded, turning his head to look over at her.
“I wish it didn’t have to be like this” he said as he pulled on his trousers, making her way over to the mirror to fix the mess her hair was in so her friends wouldn’t know what she had done.
“Me too, but you know it has to be. For both of us” she reasoned, finally turning back to him “you go first, I’ll wait 15 minutes then I’ll leave” smiling at him he returned the favour, a sad look in his eye
“Well, see ya L/n” he made his way to the exit and before she could say much else he was gone
“See ya Black” she whispered after the door had shut behind him. She set about cleaning not only the room but also herself before checking the clock and finally also making her way back to her friends, her only thought as she walked through the dark castle alone after curfew being that she wishes he could be there with her, openly.
***
They had met the following night, however that had been the last for a few weeks. Exams were quickly approaching and they both knew they couldn’t make the same excuses they had been making before without raising anymore alarm than they already had. And they had been raising a lot of questions as it was.
All of their friends knew they were sleeping with someone, they just didn’t know who. And they didn’t half try to find out. They would ask whenever they could and suggested basically the name of every pupil in the year.
Yet they never guessed the right person. Sirius was one of the only boys in their year and the year above that her friends hasn’t guessed it was, and she was the same for him. It was such a silly idea that it hadn’t even occurred for a moment that it could be possible.
With exams approaching all the senior pupils were in the library almost everyday. Today was no different. It was snowing outside and Y/n and her best friend Florence Avery had finally decided it was time to stop lounging around in the common room and get to the library to do at least some work. As they neared the library, all wrapped up in jackets, scarfs, and gloves, they heard the unmistakable sound of a group of Gryffindor boys, they were always loud and therefore always easy to distinguish.
She hoped to merlin that Sirius just so happened not to be in the group because she knew if he was the altercation would just be more awkward than it already was bound to be. But just her luck there he was front and center with the marauders and a group of around 6 other boys behind them. The girls rolled their eyes when they seen them and the boys smirked.
“Hello ladies, how’s it down in the swamp” James Potter asked, Sirius’ eyes landing on y/n and she only held his stare for a second before looking back to his friend who was talking. But he never looked away and unbeknown to him remus had noticed from beside him.
“I mean you would know, you look like you’ve crawled right out of the thing” he carried on his eyes also drifting to Y/n. She was usually the leader of her group so it was understandable that the brunt of the insults would be aimed at her.
The back and forth carried on for a few minutes, the insults getting nastier and almost all being thrown towards Y/n rather than Florence. She responded very little and when she did it was short snappy replies that packed a punch. When they had all finally gotten bored and started to leave she caught Sirius’ eye once more and he met her with an apologetic look, she only rolled her eyes and started on her way with Florence following along. Remus having caught the whole interaction from start to finish was finally connected the dots.
The next time y/n found herself in the room of requirements with Sirius she wished so badly that it could be how it was a few weeks ago. But something had changed. She had decided that as much as it might hurt she couldn’t keep sneaking around anymore, she wouldn’t continue to be his rebellious secret he had to hide from his friends because they hated her. She had grown exhausted and decided it was time they went their separate ways.
“I’m sorry sirius” she apologised after he hadn’t replied for several minutes. It was safe to say he looked shocked, as far as he was concerned everything had been fine.
“I don’t understand why” he responded, it sounding like a question.
“We’re world apart, it’s never going to work out and you know that. The longer we drag on the inevitable the more it’s going to hurt” she answered simply, keeping her head down so she didn’t have to look at him. She didn’t want to see him when she left because if she did she’s end up staying.
“We both deserve better than this, we deserve people we can be happy with openly. You deserve someone you aren’t ashamed of” were her least words before she walked out the room for what they both assumed would be the last time.
***
It was safe to say both were miserable after that night and their friends had all noticed. James and Remus hadn’t stopped asking Sirius questions since he had gotten to the dorm, the change in his demeanour being automatic and so obvious the group of boys couldn’t miss it if they had been blindfolded.
She wasn’t in any better a state. She’d had her fair share of breakups but nothing had ever hit her like this, and they hadn’t even been officially going out. She hid it far better than he did however, she had managed to hide it from her roommates for a few days at least but they too caught on that something was wrong, and the longer she went without him the worse and worse she got.
Neither had expected it to effect them as much as it had, at the end of the day they had just been sleeping together. There wasn’t anything more to it and it shouldn’t have effected them nearly as much as it did.
“Mate just tell us what happened” James urged Sirius as all the boys sat at in the great hall late one Sunday morning “It can’t be any worse than the other stuff we know about each other”
“It’s not important” he mumbled under his breath, twiddling his wand between his fingers as his eyes landed on the same girl they did almost everyday. He had assumed that his longing stares had gone unnoticed by his friends but Remus had caught on almost straight away.
“It obviously is if it’s had this effect, go on mate we won’t judge” James pushed further.
“I was seeing someone” He answered bluntly, knowing fine well they’d already figured that much out for themselves. He finally pulled his eyes away from her and looked at the three boys around him.
“Well no shit Sherlock, he means who” Remus butted in, inserting a muggle term the rest didn’t understand but got the gist off. Remus had already worked out exactly who his friend had been getting with, he just figured it wasn’t his place.
“You know who it is” James gasped at the tone in the werewolf’s voice feelings betrayed by now two of his three friends
“You should too mate, he’s not half being obvious. They both are” Remus resorted and James instead resided to ignore the boy and instead follow Sirius’ gaze, finding it landed at the Slytherin table he gasped once again, however his eyes never quite settled on the girl in question as it was simply to far fetched for him to even consider Sirius had been with her nevermind that she would have such an effect.
“She was a Slytherin wasn’t she” James assumed as he turned back to the table, giving up on working out which one. They all seemed unrealistic to James.
“Yeh she is” Sirius answered once again bluntly, tearing his eyes away from her at last. James quickly hid the distain that crossed his face and Remus just chuckled into his pumpkin juice at just how blind his friends were, not only had James not noticed who the girl was but Sirius hadn’t noticed just how equally weird she had been acting after the whole situation.
At this point Sirius had decided he had might as well just tell his friends, it was over already so he never had to fear impressing his parents, if anything it would massively disappoint them that eh had ruined such an opportunity and in his mind she cared so little about the “break up” that it would barely effect her at all if a few people found out.
And so he quite sharply said her name, a sad tone to his voice as it left his lips for the first time in nearly a month. The group of three surrounding him fell dead silent, even Remus was taken aback by the fact he had been right and the fact that Sirius had admitted it.
“You’re kidding” James finally said, breaking the silence that had turned tense, but Sirius hadn’t noticed as once again his eyes had fallen on her.
“I wish I was” for it was true, a large part of him wished he had never delved into her heart, despite how short a time he had secured his place there before being chucked out. He felt as though he had been given one small spoonful of his most favourite food then told he couldn’t have it ever again. And he wished he had never tasted it in the first place despite how great it had been because had it really been worth it, knowing he’d never experience anything so perfect again, knowing he’d found his favourite thing that he could never replace but could also never have.
“Well she’s certainly not who I expected, she might be a bit of a bitch but at least she’s hot I guess” James tried to lighten the mood to which Remus shocked his head and started eating his food, knowing the reply wasn’t exactly sensitive.
“I love her” Sirius declared and once again they fell silent, Remus stopped eating and looked up at him with a pitiful look on his face.
“Who ended it” Peter finally added, having only been listening up until this point.
“She did, said I deserve someone I ament ashamed of” he answered digging into his food. He began further explaining what had been happening for nearly a year and James wasn’t so shocked anymore as somehow it actually made some sense and they no longer seemed like such a random pairing.
“You should have just told us mate” James said, patting his shoulder before Sirius finally got up
“Ye ye I know, the whole situation would have been a lot better if we had just told people. Anyway I need to return a book back to the library, I’ll see you guys later” he finished with a small, halfhearted smile before he turned away from the boys and this time james noticed Y/ns eyes following after the boy a small sad frown on her face
“We need to do something”
***
“What’s wrong y/n” Florence asked gently as she sat on her bed, looking down at her best friend who was all wrapped up in blankets, her eyes swollen from crying “you can tell me anything, I just want to help you”
“It’s nothing flo, honestly” the tired girl responded with a croaky voice
“Now that’s just blatantly not true” Florence replied quickly, giving her a small smile in attempt to lighten the mood slightly. “I want what’s best for you. You’re my best friend and something has clearly really upset you. We can fix whatever this is” she reassured and y/n just started crying again
“We can’t fix this because it was me that broke it” she said between cries and her best friends eyebrows rose in surprise at the sudden confession “I ruined everything”
“Is it a boy” Florence asked her though she was certain she already knew the answer to that question, patting her head softly to which the crying girl nodded feebly
“There is no one in this school that you need to hide from me you know. I might question your taste but I won’t care all that much. I can’t say that for the rest of the girls but I won’t tell them” said the Slytherin as she held eye contact with her best friend “I promise I won’t say a word”
“Sirius Black” she mumbled quietly and at the sound of his name finally leaving her lips again after it had been itching to be said by her for weeks she just started crying even more
“That motherfucker” growled Florence as she stood up quickly, clearly having assumed that y/n had been used just as Sirius Black always used women
“No Flo, we had been doing it for nearly 8 months and I was the one to end it” y/n hiccuped and Florence started at her with eyes as wide as saucepans
“8 months!” She emphasised shocked by the news.
“Ye, we decided to keep it secret so his family never found out and my friends never” she answered quietly “the other girls would hate me”
“They wouldn’t hate you. And he must have been serious about you to stick around for 8 months, I’ve never heard of him being with someone for more than a week” she stated and y/n just nodded her head in agreement. Because they had been serious. At the time she hadn’t seen it but now it was over she could see just how serious they had been for one another. She had been more invested in him than she had any of her ex’s and they were her real relationships
“I love him”
“Oh Merlin” Florence sat back down. Leaning her head against the bed post, a worried look on her face. She thought back to when she had seen Sirius recently and she decided she needed to do something for he was equally as miserable as y/n was.
***
“Do you know why Sirius is acting the way he is” Florence had found Remus in the library a few days after she had found out about everything that had happened and she decided that this was as good a time as ever to talk to his friends. Surely if they also knew what had happened they want want to fix the situation.
“Do you know why y/n is acting the way she is” Remus rebutted, looking across the table at the Slytherin girl who had taken the seat in front of him.
“I do, but I asked first” she responded
“I also know. Do you know why y/n is acting funny?” She asked further. The last thing she wanted to do was tell him something he didn’t already know. And he didn’t seem to fond of doing that either.
“I do. Do you know what’s wrong with Sirius”
“I could make a pretty good guess based on what I know about y/n”
“We need to do something” he told her, deciding that she did indeed know what had happened and was definitely talking about the same thing.
“We are part of the reason it happened if you think about it. If they had felt more comfortable telling us stuff this wouldn’t have happened” Florence criticed and Remus just nodded in agreement
“The least we can do is fix what we partly broke” he agreed and she leaned over the table as to ensure nobody else could hear them
“I’m the only person she has told, so don’t approach anyone else about this ye. We need to plan something, an intervention of sorts”
“I like your thinking Avery. I will talk about it this evening with James and Peter. They both know and if we are going to set something up they should also be involved” Remus said after a moments hesitation. “They’re fed up of his mopping”
***
Early one Saturday evening y/n found herself walking back from the library on her own. Florence had been acting weird all day and when she had decided to leave the library without having finished her work y/n could tell something was off. She decided not to worry about it, knowing full well she had plenty of her own problems to concern herself with instead of meddling in her friends business.
It was now December and the air had grown cold. There was a breeze blowing through the corridor as she hurried along, just wanting to go to bed. It had been 3 months since she had ended things with Sirius and somehow she was finally beginning to recover.
She hadn’t cried over him in days and when she seen him in the corridors it stung just a little bit less. That being said she hadn’t actually seen him in weeks, whether that was just a coincidence or he had been avoiding her she had no idea but she welcomed the distance with open arms. When she didn’t see him she could force herself not to think of him, and this method had been somewhat working for her.
She was interrupted from her thoughts when she was pulled into a classroom by a pair of strong arms and she instinctively reached for her wand, not knowing what was happening. When she turned defensively to the two boys and her best friend she furrowed her brows deeply. What was Florence doing with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. She quickly pocketed her wand and stepped further into the room, towards Florence.
“What are you doing” she asked, staring at Florence as she stood by the door defensively, making sure she couldn’t leave. Y/n frowned at the action and leaned against one of the desks “seriously what is going on”
“We’re doing what should have been done three months ago” Remus responded for Florence. Y/n knew what this was about as soon as he mentioned the three months that had gone by
“You told them” she accused, feeling herself growing angry at her best friend
“No of course I never, don’t be so silly. They already knew. He told them” she defended herself and y/n just felt herself growing more and more shocked
“He told you?” Asked the girl, finally looking over at the two boys “really”
She was shocked he had done. She had assumed whatever had happened between them would have went to the grave with him, after all he had been ashamed of her like nobody ever had been before
“Ye, pretty quickly actually. We had to really pester it out of him though. He was depressed” Peter emphasised and y/n just looked down at this, she hadn’t really paid much attention to how Sirius had been doing, she didn’t want to look at him because she knew it would just break her heart more. She hadn’t even considered that he might be feeling just as terrible
“Listen I don’t want to ruin your little chit chat or anything but I really can’t be bothered with this today, whatever this even i...” she trailed off when she heard a commotion of noise by the door and when she finally looked away from the group of three sat next to her and towards the noise she felt her heart drop.
She never imagined Florence would do this to her, not when she had seen just how heartbroken she had been. Sirius seemed to have the exact same reaction as he turned in attempt to leave however James Potter had predicted his next move and already had him by the shoulders, pushing him further into the room.
“What the fuck is this” he asked bluntly to his three best friends
“You two need to sort whatever this is going on between you. It’s better ridiculous and we’ve all had enough. So what if people would or wouldn’t like you together what does it fucking matter” James exclaimed and Sirius stepped away from him at the sudden outburst, therefore taking a step towards the girl only a few feet behind him now “you’re both miserable and there’s no reason why you can’t just sort it anymore”
“We’re leaving and we are locking the door, don’t even try and leave until you kissed at least once” Florence explained with a slight joke to her voice, but y/n would bet what she said wasn’t a joke at all and she wouldn’t doubt for a second that Remus had placed some charm on the door.
“Flo don’t” y/n begged in a final attempt as the four friends in the room made for the door quickly, it slamming shit behind them with a click. There went the lock.
An awkward silence followed the slamming of the door and neither dared to move, feeling as though the air was so tense if either of them moved it would simply shatter to pieces around them.
It stayed like that for a few minutes before finally Sirius let out a deep sigh and turned to look at her.
“Listen, if we just kiss we can both be out of here in no time. It’s nothing we haven’t done before and it’s just speeding up the inevitable really” he suggested and she cringed slightly as she recollected the time she had told him they should break up, because it was inevitable.
“Maybe we should do what they want” she offered as a counter and he frowned at her
“They want us to kiss” he told her
“They want us to talk” she informed him and he sighed, finally sitting down next to her. She didn’t particularly want to talk to him. Infact it was one of the last things she wanted. However if Florence had done this she done it for a reason, and his friends had been involved. That had to mean something.
“Why did you do it. I thought we were good considering what we were” he asked her after a few minutes
“I didn’t want to be a dirty little secret anymore” she mumbled, playing with her hands to distract herself from the close proximity between them that had been gone for months he looked down at her.
“You weren’t my dirty little secret” he told her quickly to which she gave her hands a certain look that told him automatically that she didn’t believe him “honestly y/n you weren’t. You were a secret sure but the reasons for that where not what you think. I am not ashamed of you”
“Ye” she said bluntly, quite obviously not believing him “at least I admit that that’s what we were Sirius”
“I loved you” he said without really thinking about it. She gasped at what he said and looked up at him. He was already staring at her and she felt her shoulders slump from their defensive state. She never thought it was possible that he would ever feel that much for her, never mind tell her “I still love you” he added quickly
She had missed looking at him. He had changed slightly since she had last really looked at him. The skin surrounding his eyes had turned slightly darker and he looked paler. Overall he looked a little bit sick but she was sure they were changed few to no other people would notice in him.
“It would never work sirius, you know that” she explained, feeling her heart break at her own words. She felt as thought she could see his heart breaking too.
“Why not, give me a good reason as to why not” he asked her, his eyes pleading slightly. He had never planned for it to go like this but he guessed he had never planned for anything with her to go the way it had done.
“The rest of my friends, your parents-“ she began but he cut her off quickly
“I don’t care what my parents think, I’d be willing to make them the proudest parents in the world if it meant I could have you. Openly” he responded and she felt tears coming to her eyes. He had been so against the idea of impressing his parents that this declaration almost shocked her more than the last, which seemed much bigger.
And she knew then that she would take him back, at the end of the day she always knew she would if he had come back to her. Florence wa s the only one do her friends who’s opinion she truely cared for and well she had set this whole thing up. If he was willing to make his parents proud that meant more than any decoration of love ever would. It was his own little declaration.
“I love you” she whispered and a small smile ghosted his lips at the sound of the words leaving her lips. A year slipped out of her eye finally but before he could react she leaned in gently and pressed a kiss to his lips, a kiss different from the rest they had shared. Because everything was different now.
***
7 years later
The small Black family cottage had finally, for the first time since about 6 am, fallen silent. It was now around 10 pm and the couples 3 year old son had at last fallen asleep. The pair had their son only two years after leaving Hogwarts, the same year James and Lily, and Frank and Alice had their sons.
The group of three boys had become automatic friends and usually after a day like this where the parents would meet up and the children would play together for a few hours they would fall asleep before they had even gotten home, but not today. See it was Christmas Eve and children never fell asleep normally on Christmas Eve.
Y/n Black had collapsed onto the couch beside her husband who grinned at her reaction. She had finally gotten their boy Alfie to sleep after hours of trying and Sirius just laughed
“If he wakes up you’re dealing with it” she told him tiredly and he just nodded in agreement with a smirk.
“I wonder if Harry and Neville are behaving the same” she asked as she leaned her head against his shoulder, look over at their Christmas tree which stood beside the TV which was playing last years The Singing Sorcerers Christmas show which Sirius was watching. She groaned inwardly at the thought of having to fill the Christmas tree with all the presents they had purchased.
The fire was roaring and cast a warmth over the room that contrasted the cold weather outside that preserved the snow. Sirius wrapped his arm around y/n and pressed a kiss to her forehead
“You know love, it’s been exactly 8 years since we first got together” he told her and she laughed lightly against his chest
“You’re right, it has been. Where has time gone” she reminisced, lifting her chin to look up at him. Since they had gotten together he had grown a slight beard and filled out across the shoulders but his face remained much the same. In her opinion he had began to age perfectly.
“The last few years have been good to us. Getting to live so close to our friends, and having Alfie, and obviously getting married” he mumbled down at her, his hand cupping her jaw “all thanks to you”
“I love you” she whispered, leaning up and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips but quickly pulling away when she heard quiet footsteps moving towards them
“Mummy, Daddy, I can’t sleep” came the drowsy voice of their little boy
“Come on buddy, I’ll tuck you in” Sirius said gently, a smile gracing his lips as he looked at his son and his son smiled back tiredly, clambering into his lap.
Summary - based on the song “The Way I Loved You” by Taylor Swift.
Warning - swearing but that’s about all.
Word count - 3,451
Reading time - 16 mins 45 seconds
***
He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
Nicholas Nott was by all means a great boyfriend, there was no denying that fact. He treated Y/n with constant respect and never lost his patience with her, he always provided a level head when she couldn’t. He loved her to no ends and he made no attempt to hide it. To add to it all despite being part of the pure blood elites he never told her parents that she was still friends with people they would consider blood traitors though it would immensely help his case with them. He was everything she should have wanted and he was certainly everything her friends desired in a man.
Sat around a table in the library she flipped through a textbook when her friends started talking quietly. Lily looked up at her, it being clear they had been talking to her which she had missed.
“Sorry, what is it” she asked and they repeated their question.
“How is Nicholas, we haven’t seen you together in a few weeks. Is everything okay” Marlene asked.
“Ye everything is fine. We’ve just been busy with exams and whatnot. It’s nothing serious” y/n replied
At hearing this Marlene smiled, it clear the group were worried they had broken up or had an argument of sorts. Because though they had been together for nearing 4 months they hadn’t even bickered yet.
Her friends were all undoubtedly jealous. They were jealous of the way he treated her and loved her so unconditionally even though they all knew fully well she wasn’t an easy person to be with all the time. That was proven in her previous relationship.
He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says, you look beautiful tonight
Pureblood families really loved to pull extravagant weddings. Always going above and beyond to show their wealth and superiority. Y/ns mother had purchased the finest, most expensive emerald green dress she could find and by the time the Christmas holidays had approached it had been tailored to fit her perfectly.
And as she slipped it on her body she knew it did just that, it fit her in all the right places but left enough up to the imagination to keep Nicholas’ ego intact and her dignity unharmed, or at least that what her mother said it achieved.
The pair were sat at table full of other Slytherin teenagers who all looked just as rich and elegant as they did. Small talk had began despite the group being considered friends outside of this environment, it would be informal to have typical teenage conversations at such a formal event.
“You look beautiful tonight” Nicholas whispered in her ear as she grabbed two glasses of champagne from one of the workers.
She turned and smiled at him as he leaning in and kissed her head “thank you Nicholas, you don’t look to bad yourself” she giggled back and he just grinned, resting his arm on the back of her chair as he turned to talk to mulciber about whatever it was that was going on in their fathers businesses.
She finally let her eyes roam around the room, seeing if there were other tables of students that she would know, but her eyes stopped their searching when she met eyes with a very familiar boy. He had already been looking at her and when she finally seen him he made no attempt to look away. She gave him a very small, polite smile and received one of an identical calibre. She turned back to her boyfriend, having no desire to look around the room any longer. For Sirius Black was here and now his eyes was all she could feel on her.
It had been 7 months since the breakup and yet she still loved him as she did in their happiest moments. Despite everything he was the only one she wanted, and the only one she couldn’t have.
But I miss screamin' and fightin'
And kissin' in the rain
It was a cold autumn day when y/n and sirius found themselves walking back to the castle from hogsmade in silence, there had been a falling out which resulted in them ending their trip early and deciding to head back to the castle, having had enough of each other’s company.
The silence was tense and awkward, all the words that had been yelled in the forest only minuets before still lingering in the air. However it was finally broken when it started to rain. Just putting them both in an even worse mood.
“I don’t understand why you won’t just listen to me. It’s always your way or no way at all” he muttered, looking over at her and she just shut her eyes tightly, attempting to stop herself from loosing her patience with him.
“As if you aren’t just as bad. You never say you’re sorry first and every argument always comes back to you thinking lower of me because I’m a Slytherin” the now soaking girl said back “you can act as though I’m a terrible girlfriend all you’d like and perhaps you would be right but you are hardly the best boyfriend in the world”
Once again they fall into complete silence but it lasts for barely any time at all. He stops abruptly and she sighs turning around to look at him with her arms crossed over her chest.
“What is it sirius, get it over with so we can return to the-“ only he cut her of before she could finish her sentence, and she knew this was as much of an apology as she would get.
He pressed his lips firmly against hers and though she wanted to stop him she couldn’t find it in herself to do so, so she kissing him back as the rain fell heavily around them and tried to forgot all the nasty words and insults they had thrown at one another.
And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin’ your name
As soon as she arrived home from the wedding she kissed Nicholas goodnight and retreated to her bedroom as quickly as she could, stumbling with her shoes to get them off and finally falling into her seat that was sat In front of her vanity. She called for a house elf and asked them to bring her a bottle of whatever they could find and she ended up with a half empty bottle of wine and a glass.
As she wiped off her makeup she drank as much of the contents as quickly as she could and by the time the makeup was finally off tears started rolling down her face.
For the feelings of desire and need for the boy was excruciatingly painful when it was this strong. She always felt a sense of want for him but only after seeing him for the first time in so long did she feel it so strongly and so painfully.
All she wanted was to be happy with Nicholas, he was everything she needed. But she couldn’t. She was so in love with Sirius Black that she couldn’t love him, no matter how hard she tried and no matter how much Nicholas loved her she could never love him.
“Fuck you Sirius Black” she whispered between sobs “Fuck you”
I'm so in love that I acted insane
Y/n was sat in the Gryffindor common room in the middle of one of the biggest parties of the year. She was drinking as much as she could in as little time as possible, her aim being to get as drunk as her body could manage and forgot about her currently failing relationship.
She spied Sirius in the other corner of the room in a pretty similar state to her, downing all sorts of alcohol in an attempt to numb the pain for just awhile.
Both their friends had tried to help them mend their relationship but it had been to no avail. At no point over the past few months had things even began to improve, it just got worse and worse and more and more tiring as the days went on. And for that she steadily started to hate him.
The alcohol had the opposite effect on her from what she wanted. She wanted to feel numb, happy even. But all she felt as the drinks started to kick in one by one was anger. Anger for the relationship, anger for their ruined future together and most prominently anger for Sirius.
In her drunken daze she never considered the consequences of her actions. And what she went on to do was stuff she would never have done sober.
“She need to talk” she mumbled, having made her way over to her boyfriend, attempting to keep herself standing straight.
“I don’t think that the best idea” Sirius responded with an eye roll
“Get up Sirius, we need to talk” she growled and he signed. Giving her a final look before finally standing up and making his way out the portrait hole, her following closely behind him.
“What is it, what do you want” he asked, his hands crossing in front of his chest. Though he didn’t show the effect the alcohol had on him as much as she did, to any sober person they would both look drunk.
“I want you to stop being such a dick. You’re making this so difficult. I am so tired of it” she responded, and he just furrowed his brows at her
“You’ve pulled me away from the party for a relationship talk, seriously y/n.” He asked. It clear he was far more interested in the music and alcohol than he was in her. He turned away from her, starting to descend back into the common room when she said something that planted him exactly where he was, his back turned to her and a tense silence forming that it felt like nothing could break
“I hate you Sirius” she said loudly “and I wish I’d never made the mistake of giving you a chance”
Breakin' down and comin' undone
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
It has been around a month since the party and the pair had yet another argument, and finally when the yelling and screaming ceased and all that was left was the couple stood look at each other, nothing but a sad look was left in their eyes.
Sirius and Y/n had grown very accustomed with these types of argument, after a long stressful day they would take out their frustrations on each other and the issues would never be resolved. They would be annoyed at one another for a few days before they would fall back into each other’s beds and pretend the whole thing never happened. Only for it all to repeat itself not even a few weeks later.
This particular fight wasn’t any worse than the rest they had been having, which were increasing in regularity. But this one seemed to effect her more. She was so tired of it all. So tired of her relationship being as difficult as it was, tired of feeling herself start to hate him and knowing he felt the same.
“Sirius” she whispered and he looked up at her. From the tone of her voice he knew what was coming but he couldn’t find it in him to be able to stop her, after all the relationship had exhausted him also.
“I’m breaking up with you” and as the words left her mouth, though she new she had made the correct decisions she also knew she would never feel as much pain as she did in that moment, and she could only pray she’d never have too feel so much again.
He can't see the smile I'm fakin'
And my heart's not breakin'
'Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all
She knew the decision she had to make, she had to break up with Nicholas. Though she cared for him she simply didn’t love him how she should. And though at the moment he was living in oblivion to his girlfriends wandering heart she knew it wasn’t long before he caught on and realised to what extent her love belonged to another man.
It would hurt him for awhile but he would move on, he’d find someone to love him and he’d love her back because that’s what he was best at, loving people. And some day he’d realise it was for the best what she done.
“You still love him don’t you” Nicholas asked as he sat on her bed, her having just broken off the relationship, promising it was for the best and that he deserved far better than she was giving him. “Sirius Black”
She stayed silent at the question, hoping he wouldn’t have joined the dots and realised her true reasoning.
“I never cheated on you Nick” she promised and he just nodded
“I know you never” he assured
“You deserve someone who loves you and only you. I don’t know if I will ever be able to give you that. There are lots of girls far more worthy of you, and far more able to treat you the way you deserve” she carried on and he just nodded and leaned in, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“Friends?” He asked
“Friends” She confirmed
And she knew her decision was the correct one when she never felt her heart break the way it did when she broke up with Sirius. She felt upset not because she had lost the love of her life like she had done with Sirius but rather she felt upset that she couldn’t love Nicholas, and that she had to let a good man go when she wanted everything he gave her. She just didn’t want it from him.
I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you
It was a rainy Friday evening and y/n decided she was going to go on a walk around the castle after dinner. It had been two months since she broke up with Nicholas and the whispers hadn’t yet ceased. It seemed people had taken there relationship as one that would end in marriage, however that assumption clearly never meant much when after her and Sirius had split up the same murmurs surrounded the castle, them also being consider “end game”
She wasn’t sure how she ended up in the astronomy tower and she couldn’t exactly pinpoint when that had become her point of direction, but it had and now she found herself sat at the tallest point of the castle, looking over the grounds she called home.
She hadn’t been up the astronomy tower except for classes since her and Sirius and broken up. At the happiest points of their relationship it had been her favourite place in the castle, because it had been their place. Every Friday after classes finished and dinner had been eaten they would separate from their friends and disappear up the tower.
However for every good memory the tower held there was an equally as sad one. Whether it be an argument or them simply sitting in silence, not knowing what to say to each other anymore. There were just as many bad memories as there were good.
Her thinking was interrupted when the door off to her right opened, someone stepping in, however the footsteps ceased when whoever is was came close enough to see her. She quickly wiped away the few tears that had left her eyes without her consent and turned around to look at the person who had interrupted her only to gasp when she seen his face.
“Sirius?” she asked quietly, he was stood looking down at her in a very similar way to how she was look up at him.
“Sorry. I never knew you were here” he hurried, making to leave the same way he entered, she watched as he started to leave but cleared her throat, stopping him in place.
“It’s okay, you can stay if you’d like” she said softly, turning back around to face the grounds and when she never heard him open the door again she assumed he had decided to stay.
Her assumption was proven correct when he sat down next to her, keeping enough space between them that it not feel uncomfortable. It was odd, being in his proximity again calmed her just as it used to
“Do you come up here often” she asked, keeping her eyes trained very much ahead of her and nowhere near him.
“Yes” he replied “never intentionally though, it’s just where I seem to end up” to which she only nodded, having just ended up here herself.
A thick silence fell between them however it wasn’t awkward nor uncomfortable like she had thought it would be, but rather it was comforting. Like she was finally with someone who understood what she was going through and the inner turmoil in her head. But after all that was because he did understand the what she was going through, for he was going through the exact same thing.
“How have you been” he asked after a few minuets.
“Fine” she said quickly, but she knew he could see right through her. He always had been able to do so. She felt him look over at her and in return finally brought her eyes to his. He raised his eyebrows in response and she just sighed “okay not so great”
“Me neither love, me neither”
***
4 years later
After the war ended, y/n and Sirius decided it was time for them to move out of his old family home and into a new house in godrics hollow beside their friends. They wanted nothing more than a fresh start after the very challenging years they had, quite literally, fought through.
The new home they had pursued was a beautiful cottage like building on the outskirts of the small magical village. It over looked the country side and had a very homely feel about it. It was everything they wanted. Small enough that it didn’t feel lonely but large enough that they could fit all of their things in without it getting cluttered. And most importantly it was the polar opposite to what they had moved from, allowing Sirius to escape any memories he had stored in that part of his mind.
Remus, James and Lily had popped around a few days after they first moved in to help the pair unpack some of the many box’s they had transferred.
Lily and y/n had taken the living room meanwhile Sirius, Remus and James attempted to tackle the kitchen.
“Y/n?” Lily asked quietly to which the girl responded with a small noise of acknowledgment, encouraging her to carry on with whatever she was going to say.
“This is a beautiful family home” Lily continued on, a small smile gracing her features and y/n couldn’t help the smile that fell onto her face in return.
“It is” she confirmed, the grin evident in her voice. She picked up a photo frame out of one of the boxes and looked down at it seeing herself and Sirius on graduation day.
“Well, are you planning on filling said family home any time soon?” Lily asked and y/n felt her hand gently fall over her stomach at the mention of the family she was currently growing. Lily gasped at the gesture, knowing automatically what she was saying.
However anything that Lily was going to say was interrupted as Sirius entered the room with James and Remus. The boys collapsed on the sofa and Sirius made his way to his wife, wrapping his arms around her middle, her back pressed against his chest and one of his hands pressing gently against her stomach, his shoulder relaxing at the feeling of the very small bump only the two of them had seen.
She reached forward and grabbed the small photo frame she had placed not moments before, holding it in front of him so he could look clearly at it.
“It was us on graduation day” she grinned and she felt him laugh gently against her neck.
“I love you sweetheart” he whispered and she nodded
“I love you too darling” she replied and he leaned in pressing a very gentle kiss to her jaw.
Their three friends watched them from the sofa, massive smiles sat on their faces as they witnesses the love of two people who for awhile seemed like they would never love one another again.
A/n hi guys, it’s been awhile I know lol. I’ve been really busy the last few months and therefore haven’t been able to get a lot of writing done but hopefully I’m back now. Because I’ve done barely any writing in months this is definitely far from my best work but I hope you all enjoy it. I’ve somehow lost all my requests and so sometime soon I will put out a new requests post which I’m planning to also include Regulus and Draco rather than just the marauders :) anyway hope you enjoy, stay safe.
Word count - 3,828
Reading time - 18 mins 35 seconds
***
Sirius Black had been in love with Y/n Y/l/n since the moment he had laid eyes on her. He found himself completely besotted to the girl at the ripe old age of 11 and even 6 years on, after hundreds of rejections from her, he found himself just as mesmerised by her as he had done all those years ago.
“Could you pass me the jam please love” he said confidently across the table to the girl who hadn’t yet payed any attention to him.
“Get it yourself Black” she mumbled as she buttered the toast in front of her.
“Darling we have known each other for nearly 7 years, surely it would be more appropriate for you to call me by my first name” he questioned, the flirtation clear in his voice as a smirk etched its way across his face.
“Stop acting as though we are friend, I resent even calling you an acquaintance” she snapped at the boy and he raised his eyebrows at her
“We’ll be a lot more than acquaintances one day if i get my way” he winked and she just scoffed at his reply
“fuck you” she resorted quietly.
“i certainly won’t stop you babe” he responded, earning nothing more than a glare from the girl in front of him.
The pair had been so busy with each other that they never noticed the knowing smiles on all of their friends faces. Y/n’s and Sirius’ very much separate friend groups had in a lot of ways merged after James and Lily had gotten together, and the group now as one had been trying to put it in her head for months that she should give Sirius a shot, that maybe she would really like him if she just let herself. And though she denied it they were starting to get through to her.
She would be lying if she said she never cared for the boy even a little bit. She had a soft spot for him since around 3rd year and had he not had such a bad reputation to his name about his treatment of women she probably would have given him a chance years ago, but he did have a reputation and she wasn't going to let him hurt her like he did all those other girls. She was scared of how much power he would gain over her and by this point that was all that was stopping her, fear.
***
As Christmas drew nearer Marlene and y/n found themselves regularly in the library trying to get as much schoolwork done as possible so they would have the quick approaching holiday free to relax. There was only 1 day left until the biggest party of the year which was held on the last Saturday of term and only a few days after that most pupils would head home for the holidays.
“so what are you going to wear” Marlene asked as the pair made their way to the common room, the cool winter air pinching at their cheeks like crocodiles.
“Mum send me a black dress, nothing special but it’s pretty. What about you, I seen Lily’s got a blue one” she responded, clutching a set of textbooks to her chest as they rounded a corner, the moving staircase coming into view.
“Red, I’ve been waiting for an event to wear it for months now” Marlene said, earning a nod of approval from the other girl.
“Red always was your colour” she smiled back at her.
“Sirius will love your’s. Maybe you could give-” Marlene began getting quickly cut off by the friend walking next to her.
“No mar, for the hundredth time I will not give him a chance. You know as well as I what he’s like and I won’t let him do it to me” y/n responded sharply and Marlene just sighed.
“But he seems serious about you y/n, he really really does. If you know what he’s like you’ll have noticed that he never tries for a girl for more than a week, if he hasn’t gotten her after that week he moves onto the next. He’s been pinning after you for years. And for what it’s worth he hasn’t been with anyone else in months” she replied softly.
“I’m not willing to risk it” she mumbled and once again Marlene just sighed but gave up on the topic, as much as she wanted the pair to finally get together she understood her friends logic because really she would do the same.
They finally arrived at the portrait and as they entered they seen their group of friend huddled around the fire playing some card game. The group turned and watched them approaching and sirius winked at the girl his interest lay with to which his only response was an eye roll.
“Want to join us” lily asked, Alice sat beside her.
“Ye I will” Marlene replied taking a seat between James and Remus.
“I can’t, I’ve got to go have a shower, I might see you guys later” y/n smiled at them and they nodded, she turned and started walking away from them when sirius spoke up.
“Where’s my invite sweetheart” she merely flipped him the middle finger followed by him chuckling slightly.
After she had disappeared up the stairs he turned back to his friends who looked at him with anticipation, knowing he would soon be moaning about the rejection. Unbeknown to them she hadn’t made it up the stairs yet and could hear basically all that was going to be said.
“Why won’t she just love me back” he groaned, the smile falling from his face and James patted him on the back.
“She might at one point mate, I mean who expected lily to ever reciprocate” James responded sympathetically, he himself being able to very much relate to his best friends current situation.
“To be fair to her Sirius, you haven’t exactly got a brilliant reputation behind you and you haven’t given her many reasons to trust you, you treating her like an object and all” lily added to the conversation, Marlene nodding
“We know you have good intentions with her because we hear you behind the scenes, but look at it from her perspective. Her rejections are perfectly understandable” Marlene said and sirius sighed
“I don’t mean to, I just don’t know how else to get her attention” and at that y/n ran up the stairs, making sure not to be heard.
***
The party was in full blow in the common room when the group of 5 room mates made their way down. Over the winter months the girls had managed to sneak their fair share of alcohol from hogsmade and had been saving it for this very night, resulting in not one of them (not even lily) arriving at the actual party in any sober state.
Upon entering the room the smell of alcohol only became more pungent, the tables that were usually spread around the room had all been pushed against the wall and were littered with drinks that were happily beginning to empty and crowds of students cluttered the room.
Within less than a minute james had spotted lily and was quickly approaching the group, as lily turned to her boyfriend y/n and Marlene split from the others and made their way to the table, y/n grabbing the first bottle that came to hand and poured herself some, passing the bottle over the Marlene and taking a large sip.
Her head was already blurry from the large amount of muggle spirits she had consumed in the dorm but she carried on knowing this would be her last party until new year, and what could go wrong.
“Sirius is watching you” Marlene giggled and y/n turned in the direction that Marlene was looking and right enough sirius sat half listening to what remus was telling him but mainly watching her. When their eyes met his face broke out in a grin, his eyes lighting up slightly. From a mixture of remembering the conversation she had over heard yesterday and the alcohol she consumed she deciding to give him a small smile in return instead of a glare like usual, quickly turning back to Marlene before she could see his jaw drop in surprise.
“What was that” Marlene asked quickly, her eyebrows furrowed
“What was what” y/n replied absentmindedly
“You smiled at him, you never smile at him”
She shook her head in denial before quickly adding “I don’t know what you’re talking about Mar” to which the friend only furrowed her eyebrows, looking as though she were studying her closely.
As the night carried on y/n felt herself getting drunker and drunker, her judgement starting to deteriorate until her words were slurring and she was sat next to an equally drunk sirius black having a very civil conversation that neither understood, something she would never have allowed herself to do sober.
Their friends were all to preoccupied with their own drunken shenanigans to even notice the ‘unlikely’ pair in the corner.
She couldn’t quite work out every word that sirius was saying, whether that was because she was to drunk to understand or he was to drunk to talk clearly she couldn’t decipher, for all she knew it could be both but she nodded in agreement anyway. The ‘conversation’ fell silent after awhile and though the room around them continued as loud as it had been you wouldn’t think they were surrounded by anyone at all.
They were just stuck in their own little intoxicated world, her eyes had locked on his and his smile has faltered slightly at the look that has appeared on her face.
“What’s wrong” he asked
The next move she made almost killed the boy, though he had thought about it many times he had never actually thought it would happen. She had brought her face up to his and pressed a kiss to his lips. It wasn’t a long kiss in anyway, more so a peck than anything. But when she pulled away from him slightly and sirius realised what had happened he wasted no time in re connecting their lips, his hands grabbing her waist as hers settled at the back of his neck, gripping at the hair gently as he moved his body closer to her own.
It had gotten desperate quickly and neither knew how or when they made it up stairs to his dorm but somehow they did. She giggled quietly as he shut the door, locking it and casting some spells she didn’t care to remember before turning his attention back to her, his eyes turning darker.
***
The next morning she woke up with a terrible headache and an even worse realisation. She slowly rolled around to ensure her blurry memory wasn’t just being cruel and held in a groan when she seen the presumably naked boy next to her asleep.
“Fuck” she grumbled, scanning the ground for her clothes and only when she was certain that she could see where everything was did she attempt to slip out of bed to change, not wanting to prolong the process any more than she had too and therefore risk waking him up. But unlucky for her she was too late. Just as she was sat on the end of the bed clipping her bra after pulling on her underwear she heard him groan and roll around to face her, his eyes starting to open.
“Y/n?” He asked in a confused tone, his voice deep from sleep.
“Sirius” she responded awkwardly, having really hoped to be able to avoid this situation but that obviously being to much to ask. She watched as realisation probably mixed with memories dawned on his face and his eyebrows rose drastically.
“We-“ he started motioning between the pair, propping himself up on one elbow and glancing down at what he could see of her body, his eyes widening at the exposure and quickly pulling his attention right back up to her eyes. “I mean we actually-”
“Yes, we did” she answer, a silence falling between them but their eyes remaining on each other’s. She was trying with all the stamina in her not to look anywhere but his face, the last thing she needed was to boost his ego any further.
After a few seconds she snapped herself out of it and stood up, grabbing her dress and slipping it over her body and finally grabbing her heels and purse, she could feel his eyes on her the whole time. Without turning back to him she made to exit the room but stilled when he called after her.
“Do you regret it” he asked sincerely and she turned to face him. The expression on his face had her questioning the almost automatic response she had of yes. He looked as though he was genuinely concerned she did regret it. But she didn’t, and she knew that. She didn’t regret it like she expected herself too because she knew she cared for him. Perhaps she even knew a large part of herself loved the boy infront of her. Because even a blind man could see that things had changed between them, even she knew it was no longer so one sided.
“No, I just regret that it happened when we were drunk” she replied, quickly turning and leaving.
***
The morning after Christmas, y/n woke still full from the night before. She rolled over, rubbing her eyes in attempt to wake herself up, finally pulling herself out of bed after laying half awake for what felt like an hour.
Walking down the stairs, she heard her parents voices talking to someone in the living room and when she at last emerged her eyebrows rose at the sight of the boy sat talking to her parents. He looked so natural in her home around her family it caught her of guard, he didn’t look out of place or awkward in anyway even though he in no way resembled the people he was sat around.
She cleared her throat softly and her parents turned to look at her. Sirius following suit, breaking into a smile when he seen her. He stood up without hesitation and her mother smothered a grin when she seen his reaction.
“Y/n sweetie, you have a visitor. We didn’t want to wake you” her mum said. Sirius making his way over to her.
“You weren’t waiting long were you” she asked quietly as he took his place beside her and he just shook his head.
“Leave the door open y/n” her father said and she just rolled her eyes humorously, travelling back up the stairs this time with sirius trailing behind her. When they entered her room she, to no surprise of her parents, shut the door.
“What are you doing here” y/n asked, and somewhat to sirius’ surprise all tones of indifference had seemed to have drained out of her voice and she was left with what he could only describe as what honey would sound like.
“I needed to talk to you” he answered and she sat on the edge of her bed, him following beside her but making sure to leave enough room that she didn’t feel uncomfortable “I thought we should talk and I didn’t want to wait”
She hummed in agreement and he turned slightly so he could see her.
“I’m sorry for how I have treated you for the last 6 years. There’s really no excuse for it. I should have respected you as a person and not just as something I want and I really hope you can forgive me if I’ve ever made you uncomfortable” he apologised and she just nodded beside him
“I know” she muttered back “don’t worry about it it’s fine”
“It’s not fine, you wanted nothing to do with me until we got drunk and your judgement became tainted. I took advantage of you and I feel terrible for it” he confessed and she just turned completely towards him, shaking her head
“No sirius, you were just as drunk as I was. And if I don’t regret it sober then my judgement isn’t to blame” she responded instantly “I have been beginning to reciprocate your feelings for awhile, I was just scared. And the night before the party I heard you talking to everyone and I know now that your intentions aren’t what I thought they were”
“Oh. You heard that” he questioned, looking down at his lap
“Ye”
A silence fell between them and at a certain point It started to grow awkward
“I love you y/n” he mumbled “and I’m really very sorry for everything”
She knew she wasn’t ready to tell him she loved him, and he new it to. After all the development from her hating him to even tolerating him had happened so suddenly he wasn’t even sure if he’d believe her at this moment in time if she did.
“I’ll try” she responded and his face broke out once again in a smile. “But god help me if you prove my past assumptions to be true I will murder you”
***
6 years later
Harry was starting to get sleepy as his smile became more dopey and he got clumsier.
“I think it’s time we got you to bed” y/n said to the little 4 year old who had fallen into her lap and was giggling up at her
“I don’t want to” to groaned “five more minutes”
“You wouldn’t want mummy and daddy coming home and finding you still awake would you” she replied and he just signed
“No” he mumbled sadly
“Come on I’ll read you a story” she promised as he reached out and grabbed her hand
“What about uncle Sirius” Harry asked, looking at his uncle who had started tidying. Y/n and sirius married pretty much straight out of school and after the war ended y/n had brought up the thought of having a baby. Sirius had shut down the idea in seconds, informing her that he never wanted children and in the 2 years since that conversation there had been many more of these conversations, most of them turning into arguments. Tensions had arose in the marriage and it was getting to the point they were both starting to question how much longer they could last when they disagreed on such a fundamental part of life.
“He’s making sure the house is all nice and clean for when mummy and daddy get home” Y/n replied and he just nodded, running ahead of her and up the stairs to his bedroom. Sirius loved Harry and would do anything for the child, but he could never imagine having one of his own that he had to ensure turned out alright.
She began the story, one about a witch and wizard who went on many adventures and when she could see him starting to fall asleep she shut the book and placed it on his bedside table
“Auntie y/n” he mumbled half asleep
“Yes baby” she replied, brushing her hand over his forehead gently to sweep the hair out of his eyes.
“Are you and uncle Sirius ever going to have a baby” he asked, his eyes starting to close. She felt her heart sink at the question, knowing the answer was the furthest thing from what she wanted. She smiled sadly down at her godson.
“I don’t think we will sweetie” she whispered. Little did she know sirius has come up to check on them and had heard the encounter, and more importantly heard the heartbreak in his wife’s voice at the answer of ‘no’ instead of ‘yes’
He had known she wanted a child he just never really comprehended how much. He had been depriving not only her but also himself of a family and to say the realisation made him feel horrible was an understatement. There was nothing to say he would turn out like his father, he just didn’t want a baby out of the fear he would.
When she turned to the door to leave she seen him standing in the doorway and sighed, knowing what he had heard.
“Love-“ Sirius started and she just shook her head, wiping the tears that had at some point fallen from her eyes.
“I don’t want to talk about it, I already know your opinion” she interrupted, making her way past him and leaving him to his thoughts.
Lily and james and returned home not even an hour after Harry had fallen asleep. And lily frowned at the sight of her friends sat at opposite ends of the couch doing their own thing and not talking to one another. She shared and look with James and he just frowned.
By the time they had finally gotten home it was pitch black outside and their house was cold from the lack of heating it had received through the evening. Y/n was exhausted as she always was after look after Harry. It was always bitter sweet seeing everything she wanted and everything her husband didn’t.
They got changed for bed in silence, and she climbed in, staying very much or her side of the bed as they always did, she was was shocked when sirius rolled around and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her shoulder gently. She let herself relax against him, pushing aside all the pain he was causing her and trying her hardest to persuade herself that this was enough, just having him was enough even if it meant not having any children.
“I’m sorry” he whispered and she just nodded her head in acknowledgement
“I am too” she responded just as quietly and the room fell silent, only their breathing being heard. She started to dose of to sleep when he called her name, startling her.
“What if I’ve changed my mind about it all” he asked and she felt her heart twist in hope. She turned herself around to look up at him in the dull light that was coming through the window
“What” she asked him, her grip on him loosening when she couldn’t see anything but seriousness in his features
“I want a family with you” he answered her and she sat up quickly, looking down at him
“Are you kidding, you’d better not be kidding”
“I’m deadly serious” Sirius responded without a seconds hesitation
“And you don’t just want this to make me happy” she asked him, not wanting him to have to give up his life for something he didn’t actually want.
“No I actually want one” she let herself collapse into him, wrapping her arms tightly around him as tears started leaving her eyes in both relief and shock.
“I love you so much Sirius” she muffled against his chest and he in turn wrapped his arms around her and whispered an I love you too back in response.
Request - @writtenbypics Hii i Saw you’re taking requests so I wondered if you could do a James Potter one where he and the reader are besties but get into a fight about their feelings for each other (James loves her but she still doesn’t know she loves him too), after James gets injured in a quidditch match and is unconscious and the reader is very worried and stays all day beside his bed and then he wakes up and ends with fluff. Sorryyy ik it’s too specific❤️
Warnings - um a near fatal accident.
Word count - 2,884
Reading time - 14 mins
***
James Potter and y/n y/l/n had been best friends for as long as either could remember, their parents had been friends during school and due to this they had been introduced at a young age. A friendship stronger than any other had been created between the two young children in a matter of minutes and to this day, 15 years on, nothing had changed.
At 17 they had been through all the highs and lows of high school together, met knew friends, sat exams, lost friends and been through long term relationships and messy breakups but through all of it, when everything else seemed to fail their friendship stayed very much strong.
That is until it proved that perhaps it couldn’t actually survive everything like they thought it could. When James revealed to his best friend that he was in love with her, in more than a friendly way, an unexpected argument had taken place.
“Please say something” he begged quietly as she sat across from him on her bed, it was Christmas time and they were home for the holidays, James has flown over to her house deciding that enough was enough and it was time he told her, however it wasn’t going the way they had hoped it would.
“I don’t know what to say, it’s not an easy answer” she responded, her face showing him that she was clearly awe struck by the situation that had presented itself.
“Well you either love me back or you don’t” he mumbled and she started fiddling with her hands that were sat in her lap, not wanting to look at him in fear of the look that would be in his eyes. “Go and tell me you don’t love me”
“I do love you James, just not in the way I think you want me to. Or at least I don’t think I do. I don’t know what I feel anymore” she responded and he sighed “I just don’t know”
“How can you not know, it’s your feelings y/n” He expressed before standing up
“You have completely sprung this upon me. I had no idea you felt this way so how on Earth do you expect me to just straight away have an answer for you” she said back, staying where she was on her bad as he looked down at her.
“Well I knew straight away when I started loving you” he snapped “I just assumed you’d either know you loved me back or know you never. And Sirius, well he always said you loved me and I just assumed he was right, ‘friends’ don’t treat each other the way we do”
“Maybe james you should just stop assuming things” she mumbled and he raised his eyebrows at her
“I’m not assuming. Me and you haven’t been just friends for a long time and you can’t deny that” he resorted, his voice raising, he’d never raised his voice at her before. She’d seen him falling out with sirius but never had she expected herself to be on the other end of it.
“I think I should go” he responded quietly after she never responded and she just nodded her head in agreement, knowing this most likely wouldn’t be solved today.
“I’ll see you later” she whispered “I’m sorry james”
“Have a nice Christmas y/n” he responded before leaving her room and shutting the door behind him.
***
Something y/n learnt that year was that the holidays go particularly slowly when there’s nobody other than your very busy working parents to spend them with. Lily and Alice had gone abroad for Christmas and well james, her go to, he wasn’t exactly available. leaving y/n with no option but to stay in bed and watch trashy movies.
So for the first time ever she found herself relieved to be back at school. For the first year she hadn’t sat in James’ carriage with the boys but rather sat in with lily, Alice and Marlene, leading to them all bombarding her with questions, questions she chose against answering. Especially with lily in the room.
She had thought, up until James’ declaration to her, that he was still in love with lily. And to be honest she was finally starting to think lily reciprocated those feelings. She didn’t want to tell them that he had said anything and risk hurting her best friends feelings.
Lily could tell something had happened with James. Had y/n fallen out with Sirius, Remus or Peter, James almost certainly would take her side and would probably be sat in here with her. And she ended up putting two and two together, making a pretty good assume about what had happened.
***
It had gone on much longer than either had expected it to. It had been a month since the end of the holidays and still neither had talked to the other. They hadn’t yet had one conversation and it was safe to say the loneliness had hit both of them extremely hard. They both wanted to talk to each other, but neither knew how to approach the situation which was bound to be extremely awkward.
And due to this, y/n had decided not to go to this current quidditch match that was Gryffindor against Slytherin, not wanting to end up stuck in a conversation neither particularly wanted. And so she found herself in the library, attempting to get through as much homework as she could, knowing she probably wouldn’t get much done in the evening after the game.
However the library was suddenly filled with people, the game having ended much earlier than she had expected. A group of 4th year girls took the table next to her and started talking about the events that had partaken during the match.
“That was the worst fall there’s been in ages, he was about 70 feet in the air” one muttered under her breath, trying not to attract the attention of the librarian
“I know it was completely shocking, Slytherin should be disqualified for that. You don’t think he’ll die do you” another whispered
“With the sound he made when he hit the ground it would shock me if he isn’t out for at least a few days, I really hope he’s okay. Black will be heart broken if he dies, never mind that girlfriend of his, y/l/n is it. You know what people say, about them being soulmates and whatnot” the smallest of the three girls continued and y/n ears quickly pricked up at the sound of her last name.
They were talking about James, he’d been in a serious accident and she was sat in the library writing a stupid essay. He’d always said she was his lucky charm and the one game she misses there’s a chance he’s now on his death bed. No later than she had come to terms with what she had just heard and decided she had to go visit him, regardless of the situation the pair were in the door to the library burst open and in ran Sirius and remus.
“Y/n you need to come with us. James, he was in an accident. A really bad one” Sirius panicked loudly and the librarian hushed him, causing him to snap a snarky reply back at him about the seriousness of the situation being more important than her silly library rules.
She had packed her bag in record time and quickly followed the rushing boys out of the library.
“Is he okay remus” she asked quietly as Sirius practically ran in front of them
“I’m not going to lie to you, no” he responded as they finally made it to the doors of the infirmary.
When they entered and his bed came into sights she gasped at the state James was in. He was completely battered and bruised and really looked like he should be dead. He was currently lay unconscious and she could tell straight away that he wasn’t going to wake up for a long while. He had a huge cut right across his forehead and his arm was undoubtedly broken. Overall he looked terrible.
Madam pomfrays eyes quickly snapped to the trio that entered and she watched in anticipation as she expected at least one of them to say something, but they were all so dumbfounded by the state their best friend was in that they could find the words to say.
It seemed as thought she was going to kick the group out, but after seeing the tears that quickly sprung from the young girls eyes she decided against doing so, catching on quickly to the fact they need to be with him. Especially when he was in such an unstable state.
“He’s not doing to well, but I’m hoping he will be able to recover fully in the next few weeks” she explained and Sirius just nodded before walking over to his bedside, remus following. However y/n couldn’t seem to move.
If he died, he died thinking she never loved him back.
If he died she would never be able to resolve things with him, she wouldn’t be able to tell him that in the weeks they hadn’t been speaking she realised just how much she actually loved him, and most important how much she wanted to be with him.
And then she realised this could be her fault, had she just went to the stupid match and supported him like she was supposed to maybe this wouldn’t have happened, nothing like this had happened at his other quidditch games and god knows in the past 6 years he had been part of many, but it was the one she wasn’t at he goes and nearly kills himself.
“Y/n” remus said clearly, snapping her out of her trance as she stared at him, tears running down her face at a rapid pace. “He’s going to be okay” he carried on and she tore her eyes from James and over to the two boys sat at his bedside.
“He loves you, you know” Sirius said quietly “more than anything in the world”
“I know, he told me in December” she mumbled and Sirius and remus stared up at her in surprise
“Damn he finally got the balls to say what he’s been wanting to say for years and he never even told me” Sirius laughed, even though tears were running down his face also at the sight of the boy he sees as his brother in such a fatal state. It was like he was trying to dull the worry, and pain, by making fun of the whole situation.
***
It had been almost a full week since the quidditch match and y/n had basically not left the infirmary. She had slept on the extremely uncomfortable chair beside his bed every night, even after remus, Peter and Sirius had retreated back to the dorms.
He hadn’t made very many improvements and the school were starting to consider sending him to st mungos. His mother and father had visited two days after the accident and were relieved when they found her sleeping by his bed, confident that when they had to return home, they weren’t leaving him alone.
“James I need you to wake up” she whispered quietly, after Sirius had left to go up to bed and she was left alone with him again. “I just need you back” she watched him, wishing she could see any movement in his face.
“I know your probably sick of hearing my voice and don’t want me here, you’re pissed off with me and rightfully so. But I can’t bring myself to leave you here. Not like this” she continued on
“I sound so stupid. You can’t even hear me never mind respond” she laughed quietly to herself. “I’m basically talking to myself”
She softly grabbed his hand with her own and placed her other over top her laugh fading into quiet sniffles as tears began cascading down her face once more that day. It seemed like she hadn’t stopped crying since it happened. She never knew she could be so soft.
“I love you james” she said confidently, her voice breaking “I love you just like how you want me to, or at least wanted me to that day you told me”
She had turned away from him at this, moving herself into a comfortable sleeping position preparing for another restless, uncomfortable sleep.
Only an hour into her sleep however she was woken by a quiet voice mumbling her name. She opened her eyes slowly, squinting slightly as the moonlight shone on her face and looked around at the occupants in the room, everybody was asleep. She furrowed her eyebrows before hearing her name again, it was coming from James’ bed.
Her eyes snapped to the boy that lay, very much awake, in his hospital bed, a look of pure confusion blessing his features.
“What’s going on” he questioned her quietly
“Your awake. Oh my goodness you finally awake” she mumbled before quickly standing up and making her way over to stand beside his bed, her hand reaching out to brush his hair out of his face, but quickly retreating her hand when she caught herself.
“you were in an accident, you’ve been out cold for the last week” she answered his previous question “I was so worried James I thought you were going to die, I thought you were going to leave me” she rambled and he shook his head, stopping her from what she was saying
“Have you been talking to me while I was out, or was I just imagining things” he asked her again and her eyes widened
“Well what did you hear me say” she asked, just wanting to wrap him in her arms and never let go.
“You told me you loved me nearly every day, or at least it felt like every day. And you told me it was in the way I want you to love me” he replied and she just looked down at her feet, she never actually thought he’d hear it, never mind remember it.
“I’m sorry, I was probably imagining it. I shouldn’t have said anything” he mumbled after he seen her reaction and she shook her head
“I said it” she replied clearly and a small gasp could be heard leaving his mouth
“Well were you telling the truth” he asked
“Ye, I realised as soon as you left my house that day but I didn’t know what to say or how to say it and then you got in that accident and I was so worried, I just wanted to take all your pain away, and then I remembered that a was a source to some of your pain and I’m just really sorry james” she went on and just grinned at her, the expression looking genuine yet painful on his face.
“So you love me” he said, making sure he heard her correctly “you really love me”
“yes” she assured him and he smiled ever larger at her “you’re being very forward considering you’ve been in a coma for the past week” she mumbled “I thought you’d be weak and tired” falling back into the chair and squirming about trying her best to get comfortable.
“You’ve not been sleeping in that chair the whole time have you” he asked, dismissing her statement and hoping she wouldn’t pick up on how excited he was that he was talking to her again, he eyed the clearly uncomfortable chair unpleasantly.
“Ye but it’s not actually that bad, your dad brought me a pillow” she responded, not wanting him to feel guilty.
“Come here” he mumbled at her, opening his arms for her to climb into the bed next to him
“James I shouldn’t” she replied “you’re sick you need to be comfortable” she said staying put where she was.
“Y/n, I promise you I will be much more comfortable if you are in this bed next to be, sleeping comfortably” he responded, giving her the puppy dog eyes.
She sighed quietly before getting up and making her way into his arms, laying down next to him and resting her head against his shoulder, his arms wrapping securely around her. His body clearly ached as he moved around to make space for her, trying to make her comfortable and she placed a hard on his chest to stop him moving.
“I’m perfectly comfortable James, stop moving your going to hurt yourself” she whispered before turning into him and looking into his eyes. She had never been so happy to see somebodies eyes before. He slowly leaned down and pressed a short but sweet kiss to her lips, another grin breaking out on his face
“Go to sleep james” she whispered happily and He just grinned deeper
“I get to kiss you whenever I like now don’t I” he asked extremely quietly and she just nodded her head gently “if that’s what you want”
It’s safe to say when James mum and dad walked into the infirmary the next morning to visit their son and found him cuddling with the girl they had been betting he’d get with for years they were more than happy, an owl being sent instantly to your own family.
Uhm a James Potter x soulmate reader where you physically glow when you first make eye contact with your soulmate and they meet in a super awkward way
About Damn Time (James Potter)
Warning - none, I only act as though there’s three magically schools seen as they are the only three we’ve met.
Word count - 1,494
Reading time - 7 mins 17 seconds
***
By 6th year most had met their soulmates, the wizarding world wasn’t as large as the normal world and rarely were wizards soulmates muggles therefore most met at school. Whether it be somebody from your own school or somebody from beauxbatons or durmstrang the majority met during there school years.
Of course there were acceptations, those whose soulmates are muggles, those whose soulmates aren’t enrolled in school, those who quite simply just don’t catch the eye of their soulmate and finally, those whose soulmate has passed away.
Y/n l/n had come to the conclusion only weeks ago, after the end of the triwizard tournament , that her soulmate had in fact died. She knew it would be better to have a soulmate that was dead than one that was a muggle as she would quite simply be disowned by her mother and father no matter how much love she held for whoever he or she may be. She would love them but her parents would not and she wasn’t quite ready to put herself through that.
It was fair to say she hadn’t been the most cheerful girl in the school since she came to her final conclusion. While everybody was gushing over their new found love, her friends having all found the one, she was sat in the corner trying her very best not to seem like she was wallowing in self pity.
Gryffindor had just won the quidditch cup, resulting in a huge party being held in the common room, she had gotten used to these events and at this point had multiple dresses in her room for times like this. The Gryffindor girl pulled on a simple black dress and quickly cast a few charms that made her look much more presentable and not like she had been in classes, miserable, all day.
Making her way down the stairs she could hear the party already commencing and when she finally made it to the common room she could smell it too.
She scouted out her friends and she quickly walked over to the group of girls stood by the drinks table .
She swiftly pored herself a glass of some unknown alcohol and they grinned at her, Marlene looking her up and down before giving her a thumbs up.
“You look amazing” she grinned and Alice nodded in agreement “if I was a lesbian I’d fuck” she carried on, winking earning a laugh from the group.
“Who needs a soulmate anyway” lily said “you make a brilliant independent women you don’t need one”
“It would be nice though wouldn’t it” y/n replied taking a gulp of her drink “and it’s easy for all you to say, you’ve all found your soulmates”
“You still might” Alice said quietly “he could be a muggle”
“Don’t be silly, I would rather not have one than have to go through the family drama of having a muggle soulmate” she said “anyway, can we change the conversation please I don’t want to think about my absolutely miserable life”
By the end of the night lily and y/n were left dancing in the centre of the room, Marlene having ran off with Sirius to god knows where and Alice had withdrew to their dorm with frank. Lily’s boyfriend was a Slytherin, preventing the red head from leaving her on her own to fend off all the lonely boys with girl troubles.
Before long however lily disappeared also. Probably to find her Slytherin boy, and having nowhere else to go y/n ended up leaving the common room and making her way up the school, trying to find somewhere hidden and quiet in the halls that she could wait until either Frank and Alice were finished their shenanigans or she felt OK enough to return to the party without her joy being completely fake.
She finally found a window ledge behind a spiral staircase and she was certain neither Mrs Norris, Filch or a professor would find her.
Before she could control what was happening she felt tears start running down her face as the realisation really dawned on her that she was going to be alone for the rest of her life. All her friends were off enjoying themselves with the loves of their lives while she was sat on a lonely window ledge in full party attire crying. Was she being over dramatic, perhaps. But that didn’t take away from the stinging sensation in her chest.
She didn’t attempt to wipe the tears away until she heard foot steps quickly approaching her and the next thing she new she had been knocked off the ledge and a large body had fallen on top of hers. A small gasp left her mouth as she quickly lifted the back of her hands to her eyes, rubbing the tears away as fast as she could.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there are you hurt” the boy rushed and she just sighed.
“I’m fine” she mumbled, not bringing her eyes to his.
“Have you been crying, are you sure your okay m” he rambled on, still not moving from his position hovering over her
“Like I said I’m fine” she said clearing her throat, suddenly feeling extremely awkward “can you get off me please”
“Oh of course” he stumbled to get off of her and an awkward tension filled the air as she stood up, slipping back on to the ledge she had been occupying. She wasn’t willing to look at him until she was certain there weren’t any traces of tears left, she wasn’t a crier.
“Were you crying” he quested again, his eyes trained very strongly on her face. But not quite being able to see her eyes. She was definitely hiding from him.
“It doesn’t matter” she assured, just wanting him to leave her be.
“Well I’m sure of you were crying about it, it must matter at least a little bit” she looked up at this, why did he care so much if she was crying. People cry all the time.
The second their eyes locked she knew what was happening, she felt a bubble of joy and shock burst in her chest and finally, after years of waiting and anticipating this moment he started glowing. She looked down at her hands and seen that she too was glowing the same Campaign colour that he was and she let out a gasp, clambering off the ledge and watching him intensely, him mirroring her.
“Holy shit your gorgeous” he mumbled, as though not believing that he would end up with such a perfect soulmate.
“You're my-, that means we’re-, oh my goodness, Merlins beard” she rambled as he stepped closer to her, filling any awkward unnecessary space left between them, his eyes still filled with shock and admiration as she stared into them
“That’s to mean we’re soulmates” James mumbled
“James Potter is my soulmate?” y/n questioned. It was a miracle she wasn’t aware of this yet considering they had been in the same house for 6 years, how on earth hadn’t they made eye contact before. All this time she had been moping about not finding him and it turns out he was right in front of her the whole time.
“Shit this is not how I planned this moment to go down” he scolded himself as one of his hands reached out to grab her hip, wanting to feel some form of touch. It was true what they say about a true loves touch, it really does feel different. “It was meant to be romantic not an awkward moment after I knocked you over and probably hurt you”
She sniffed quietly, still trying to hid the old tears as she smiled up at him, a real genuine smile. But his face fell when he remembered her tears had been there.
“Are you okay, you were definitely crying before” he questioned his eyes filled with concern but she just threw herself into his arms, relieved that not only was her soulmate somebody her parents would definitely approve of but also just the fact that she had found him and he wasn’t in fact dead.
“I thought I would never find you, all my friends, they’ve all found their person and I became so sure you’d died but now, well your glowing and that means. Oh my” she muffled into his chest and he just grinned back
“I worried about the same thing darling” he assured and she pulled away looking at him before quickly closing the distance, pressing her lips firmly against his as his hands made there way to her sides.
There was a sudden round of applause coming behind James back and as soon as she heard it she knew who it was
“Finally” she heard Sirius Black yelling before a loud crack was heard and suddenly everybody was running, filch on there back. Her hand held firmly in James’ as they ran.
