getting out of an abusive household - a household where you don’t feel safe - is difficult as all hell. you can’t do it at once, can’t pack a day’s bag in half an hour and leave. trust me, i’ve tried, you gotta plan in little steps
break belongings down into chunks. clothes, toiletries, valuables, essentials, others. whatever you absolutely need. figure out how to pack a bag to take
you need housing or other shelter. organise with friends and safe family, look up safe shelters, youth groups etc. too
look up transport fares. can you catch the bus? can you afford a travel card? if you’re like me and you have a school opal/other card (free travel on mondays to fridays), it’s your greatest asset. even $10 on an adult card gets you a ride or two somewhere
make a plan. accrue evidence, bide your time, whatever. keeping your head down is the best way to go about it; you want to be stealthy. be patient. hold onto your determination
have multiple options up your sleeve. if you only have one plan that hinges on a specific set of circumstances, you’re fucked. if something falls through, don’t get hung up on it. as long as there’s a sliver of hope, there’s a way. find another way. if there’s only one option, study it as much as possible, run it through your mind; if you can practice it, practice it (but remember to be stealthy). you want the final result to be as smooth as possible
in everything: organisation is key. make checklists. wherever you need to, break it into little chunks. smaller chunks are easier to run through your mind and link together later. that’s a tip from your friendly autistic pal
what kind of bag do you have? I’ve got the luxury of a once-used 70L hiking pack so I can pack heaps of stuff, but get the best bag you have. someone close to me has just a school backpack, and they can fit two changes of clothes and a few other necessities. I’d imagine it’s more likely you’ll have a backpack, so learn how to pack your bag best
income is super important; can you apply for welfare? are you on welfare? can you keep up a job, or get money from somewhere else?
hrgjgh I’m out of spoons, I can’t think of anything else. the main point I”m trying to get across is that time is most important; practice practice practice, get used to minor independence things, contact as many people as you trust to help, and keep your head down, and bide your time. you want to leave as smoothly as possible. don’t have a half-plan that hinges on maybes - of course sometimes it can’t be helped but as much as you can make sure you have a solid plan of action with safety nets
does anyone want to add anything???
Steal from abusers if you have to. Don’t take cards, those can be traced. Take small amounts of cash at a time. Pocket change. Those can turn into meals, uber rides, you name it. When it comes time to make the big leave, though, if you can take more without getting caught then fucking do it.
If you have a safe/permanent place locked down, and they’re in your general vicinity, move your stuff slowly. Do it like a few articles of clothing at a time.
Don’t leave a trace. Don’t let them know where to find you. Fuck them up and leave them to wonder where the hell you’ve gone.
This is 100% accurate and reliable advice, and as with all things don’t get caught… Check replies and tags on this post, there are a lot of really good responses
Also while I have spoons to spare here are some elaborations on my own points
If you’re stumped on remembering evidence because of trauma, start a tag on your blog or a side blog. I have a tag #parents log for this. Post when things happen, or when you remember things, or even want to vent about something you remembered. This is your evidence. After a while, you’ll be able to remember better, and you’ll be able to write more down. Don’t worry if you can only write a few sentences or keywords at a time - stop before you’re overwhelmed. Your safety is paramount, even during this process.
Read articles about abuse, all kinds, if you have the strength. The better you can reference and connect and find words and terms for things, the better case you’ll have, and if you have a case worker, they can help put together a case for you. This ties in with the parent logs. Remember to stop before or when you feel sick/overwhelmed, and try again later.
Stay determined!!! Above all things, take care of yourself, and hold onto your hopes. Yes, I am alluding to undertale; holding onto your hopes and dreams and determination is your most valuable asset. If you aren’t a fan of Undertale, find your own metaphor. What’s important is that you keep a fire alive inside you, even if it’s an ember. Use anything you need. You’re strong in the real way
The truth is, you need to be prepared for a best and worst case scenario. Yes, hold onto your strength; no, don’t let it overwhelm you. Don’t think too far into the future - sometimes, you need to take it one week, one day, one hour at a time. Break it into the smallest incriments you need. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t.
This post is always okay to reblog, and you can still add your own advice
@suneraser
Recording instances of your own abuse for future reference is brilliant advise omg
I know im in this situation right now but im not sure how many of my followers are too so imma reblog this
@dammmithardison
doesn’t pertain to me but if it helps someone else...
