I’m going to go on a really pathetic rant, so don’t read this.
People kind of laugh at me for getting so caught up in books and television shows, especially those with romantic subplots, but... I’ve been single for a really long time. And I have my reasons for it, reasons that I didn’t understand for a while and that I still don’t quite know how to overcome. So I (pitiably) live vicariously through these shows. I imagine that, one day, I will hopefully find someone who looks at me like Danny looks at Mindy or care about me as passionately as Spike cared about Buffy... which, yes, is its own can of worms but just go with me on this.
I want someone to tell my family about at Thanksgiving. I miss the worry of meeting their parents. Those butterflies I feel when they hold my hand for the first time. I miss the look of love and admiration, and I miss giving those looks myself. I miss and long for so many things that I... I couldn’t even list them all here.
And then sometimes I get angry and sad that one afternoon took so much of that from me, that it left me feeling scared and insecure for over a decade. That I found comfort in my late teens and early twenties with guys that treated me like crap and pushed away the ones who didn’t because, duh, of course they would get tired of me.
I’ve tried so hard to love myself –– and I do –– but I still don’t feel like I’ll ever find someone else who loves me. I still don’t feel like I’m worthy of someone else’s affection or love and I don’t know how to break free of that.
gracieabrams
discoholicmusic
prguitarman
romaincrisis
stormborns
blakekathryn
