SDN’s Senior (and best) HR Manager, Mark!

Your source for everything HR related at SDN's Torrance Branch.

[mark-from-hr]

You’ve reached Mark!

Well, hey! I’m Mark, the Senior HR Manager here at SDN’s Torrance Branch. I’m here to help you with everything, from workplace harassment to insurance claims! If you or someone you know has a complaint to submit, please do so.

We love to hear from you! And sorry about the damages in advance.

(OC info below the cut)

Mark is actually a nickname. His full name is Marco José Aguilar Diaz, but, y’know, he goes by Mark.

His parents, Claudia Doralis Diaz Garcia and Miguel Luis Aguilar Martinez immigrated with him and his older sister from the Domincan Republic to Chicago when he was two.

Mark grew up in Chicago, and got accepted into UCLA after high school. He moved to California, of course, and majored in Psychology. 

After college, he worked as a psychologist for a while before getting a job at SDN’s HR department. The position grew from there and, as you can see, he’s now the HR Senior Manager.

Mark is 31, and a solid 6 feet tall. He’s bisexual and tends to speak with a pretty neutral accent. The Midwestern really comes out on his ‘A’s, though- he has the strong ‘A’ (like in ‘bagel’) for most words.

He’s a Bears fan (of course), allergic to bell peppers and avocados, and all-around a pretty nice guy. He’s fluent in Spanish, naturally, but he also speaks a little bit of Italian. He has two sisters (24 and 35), a niece (5), and a nephew (13).

Mark also has very mild heat-based powers, more or less the strength of a cheap-ish heating pad. He can warm his body up, but that’s about it. Very useful in winter and to warm up coffee cups, though.

[ask tag is #hr asks]

(ALSO!! Mod is terribly sarcastic. Like it’s an issue. So is Mark ever says anything that comes off as mean… know that it’s sarcasm through text. He’s trying to be funny. He is a sweetheart.)

[mark-from-hr]

( @hr-sdn-rep )

Hehehehe… hello there…

Hey, hey. I’m guessing you’re the Ollie I’ve heard so much about, hm?

[hr-sdn-rep]

Darn it! I was trying to be mysterious and spooky… 😡

*there’s a burst of laughter outside of Mark’s office- Gwen’s reading the chat logs from her computer.*

[mark-from-hr]

Oh, very mysterious. Very spooky. I’ve just got really good detective skills, kid. You’ll get me next time, I’m sure.

[hr-sdn-rep]

>:(

*The bubble starts up again, and it’s Gwen, texting from her computer.*

Totally, kiddo -Mom

MOM?!

[mark-from-hr]

Pfft, I’m so serious. You just gotta wait until I’m doing overtime with a broken coffee machine. You can definitely catch me off-guard then.

Also, hi Gwen!

[mark-from-hr]

( @hr-sdn-rep )

Hehehehe… hello there…

Hey, hey. I’m guessing you’re the Ollie I’ve heard so much about, hm?

[hr-sdn-rep]

Darn it! I was trying to be mysterious and spooky… 😡

*there’s a burst of laughter outside of Mark’s office- Gwen’s reading the chat logs from her computer.*

[mark-from-hr]

Oh, very mysterious. Very spooky. I’ve just got really good detective skills, kid. You’ll get me next time, I’m sure.

[mark-from-hr]

( @hr-sdn-rep )

Hehehehe… hello there…

Hey, hey. I’m guessing you’re the Ollie I’ve heard so much about, hm?

[mark-from-hr]

( @hr-sdn-rep )

Mi amo~ I’m back from helping Lupe~

Gwen!! Hi! Ah, jeez, I missed you. How’d everything go down there?

[hr-sdn-rep]

Ollie- the teen- is now no longer in the custody of his parents. He’s in my custody until we find someone better suited to raising him, or until he’s 18. He’s grown on me.

[mark-from-hr]

Oh, man. Just when I think you can’t get nicer, now you’re fostering, huh? That’s real sweet, amor. I’d love to meet Ollie one of these days. And Jennie, how’s she doing?

[mark-from-hr]

( @hr-sdn-rep )

Mi amo~ I’m back from helping Lupe~

Gwen!! Hi! Ah, jeez, I missed you. How’d everything go down there?

[mark-from-hr]

Mrrrp…

Hey, kid. It’s been a minute, huh? How’ve you been?

[ab-art-07]

Sleepy… super sleepy. On that note, can I be a cat and sleep on your desk. It’s warm

[mark-from-hr]

Me and you both… it’s been a long day. My door’s always open, kid. For you, anyways. Come on in.

[mark-from-hr]

Mrrrp…

Hey, kid. It’s been a minute, huh? How’ve you been?

[sdn-research-and-development]

Good Morning Everyone and Happy February!

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I would like to remind everyone that homemade and store-bought treats that are not specifically labeled on an individual basis should have a list of ingredients and all possible allergen warnings clearly displayed. We at SDN are dedicated to the protection of our staff, both hero and civilian.

A quick reminder to all staff that are affected by Lunar Cycles, or other such environmental and social triggers - SDN has extensive accommodation clauses built into our contracts. One such clause allows for a full renegotiation of your contact should you find yourself becoming and/or awakening heritage of:

Therianthropy (Of Any Type)

Undeadism (Including but not limited to: Vampirism, Incomplete/Incorrect Resurrection, or conversion to any naturally or unnaturally occurring sentient and sapient species that would be classified as such)

Changeling Awakening (including but not limited to: Higher Fae, Fairie, Pixie, Leprechaun, Gnome or any such other naturally or unnaturally occurring species that can consist of Fae Adjacent)

Sirenia (Mermaids and other Aquatic and aquatic adjacent species)

Avian

Angelic

Demonic

Eldritch

Polytheistic Divinity

And/or any other such divine and supernatural species connected to your birth heritage.

If you are unsure whether or not you qualify for accommodations, please ask your supervisor and contact @mark-from-hr for more information.

It should be noted that the brilliant scientist here in R&D have several...unique specializations and that all members of R&D are fully certified and qualified to offer training in said specialties or refer you to other qualified specialists for training upon request. The list of these specializations is available upon request, and a physical copy of said list will be posted on my office door at all times. Said specializations include, but are not limited to:

Mechanical Engineering

Bioengineering

Chemical Engineering

Pharmaceutical Engineering

Medicine

Veterinary Medicine

Psychology

Therapy

Parapsychology

Emotional Support Animal Training

Medical Alert Animal Training

Medical Assistance Animal Training

CPR

Cyber Security

Hacking

Theology of the World

Sociology of the World

Krav Maga

Kung Fu

Systema

Black Magic

Ritualistic Black Magic

Espionage

Corporate Espionage

Counter Terrorism Techniques

Criminal Profiling

Military Sabotage

Bomb Diffusion

Sound Production

Video Production Etc.

A warning to everyone that assumes hacking the on-site cameras will save your asses from HR violation write ups: Ruby is a qualified and certified White-Hat Hacker that has worked in conjunction with multiple Government Letter Agencies. Couple that specialization with her technopathy, and you can begin to understand the level of control and knowledge she has about SDN's cyber security systems. (Ruby Knows All. Ruby Sees All. Ruby Has Access to These Memos Too! Ruby Can Be Bribed With Monsters and Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies to Keep Her Mouth Shut! Promise! 😇) I would like to remind everyone that the Unicorn Herd in the Los Angeles National Forest is, in fact, very real and cordoned off from the public for good reason. They are not the sweet and innocent Fairy Tale esq Unicorn that looks like it spends its days wandering morosely in the moonlight and chasing butterflies through the meadow. They are, in fact, an invasive and unnatural hybridized herd released by a mad scientist back in '05. This herd consists of a crossbreed of the far more bloodthirsty Southwestern Desert Unicorn that actively hunts and eats anything that moves in an attempt to stay hydrated in the dry conditions, and the highly aggressive Southern Rocky Mountain Unicorn that competes with Moose for food and territory. If you encounter any tourists attempting to break their containment, you are authorized to heavily advise against it and remove them from the park should they persist at request from the Rangers. (I don't care how annoying they can be, I refuse to let anyone be libel for dumbasses dying on our watch. We aren't patrolling Yellowstone, and these aren't bison. We, unfortunately, cannot let them Fuck Around and Find Out.)

A Non-Priority Notice to All Staff: We have noticed a distinct uptick in attempted security breaches over the past few months. All attempted breaches should be flagged and reported to Security and R&D for investigation. And finally, to whomever has the keys to the R&D Secure Vault: I want them on my desk by the end of the day, the Halo Armor back on its berth, and if it's cleaned before-hand I won't ask any questions.

Have a good February!

Director Helena Barret

[mark-from-hr]

This. Thanks, Helena.

[mark-from-hr]

Hey Mark! It’s Dr. Kondracki from @sdn-research-and-development ! If you hear any reports of screams or cursing coming from the R&D floors, disregard them. I caught a ratto (rat) yesterday, and we’ve been tearing apart most of the labs to make sure there aren’t any more.

Dr. Anthony Kondracki

Hey, Dr. Kondracki!

Thanks for letting me know. I’ll definitely pass that along. Though, as a rule of thumb, reports about R&D usually involve cursing and screaming, so it isn’t anything too jarring anymore. Hope you find the rat… or rats, plural. Er, actually, I hope there aren’t any more down there. Or anywhere.

[mark-from-hr]

( @sdn-bunsenburner )

Mmmmm. My boyfriend….

Iggy! Hey, honey. What’s up?

[sdn-bunsenburner]

Full moon is on the second. I’m feeling the effects…

[mark-from-hr]

Ah, jeez. I bet. Anything I can do, love? Besides, you know, the obvious. I got some soup at home with your name on it. You want to come over, watch a movie, all that?

[mark-from-hr]

( @sdn-bunsenburner )

Mmmmm. My boyfriend….

Iggy! Hey, honey. What’s up?

[mark-from-hr]

…hey mark, can I talk to you in private

-@maho-from-torrents

Hey, Maho. Of course. Everything okay?

[maho-from-torrents]

Maho laughs once.

Yeah, totally.

They both probably moved to an empty conference room or something.

Mark, do you think I should get a job here?

[mark-from-hr]

Huh.. well, I can’t say this is the best job I’ve ever worked. But yeah, why not? You probably know the place better than most of our actual employees by now. I can put in a good word for you, if you’re serious.

[mark-from-hr]

…hey mark, can I talk to you in private

-@maho-from-torrents

Hey, Maho. Of course. Everything okay?

[mark-from-hr]

Hey, everybody! The month is coming to a close soon, and so far we’ve been having a great year. I know that as more of you fail Dry January- I mean… fall into the groove of the new year, we’ll be closer to normal. Still, keep up the awesome work! And great job on staying on top of your reports, heroes.

[mark-from-hr]

I don't know if you are going to see this Mark, but Justin just spent close to a third of my salary on tickets to the Super Bowl. How does he have the money to do this?

Will

Jeez. I have no clue, man. Wish I had that kind of money, huh? I hope it’s a good game at least, for tickets that expensive.

[sdn-bunsenburner]

Hey, love. How’ve you been feeling? As far as the whole werewolf thing, I mean. And everything else. You and Jenny alright?

-@mark-from-hr

I’m… getting used to it. On the plus side! I’m growing more body hair, which does WONDERS to combat dysphoria.

And Jenny and I are great. She’s a big cuddle bug.

[mark-from-hr]

Oh, jeez, I bet. Body hair’ll do that to you. I’m glad it isn’t all bad.

Also… glad to hear that you two are doing good. I don’t think it would hurt if I were to bring some cookies down to R&D, do you? Peanut butter, obviously. No chocolate chips.

[sdn-bunsenburner]

Mark, you beautiful man. You don’t even gotta come down, me in baby girl are on our way up.

[mark-from-hr]

Pfft, okay. You two’ll really liven up the space, you know. It’s so quiet down here, I’m going crazy. Even if I did have to lure you down with cookies…

[sdn-bunsenburner]

I’m here, handsome.

[mark-from-hr]

Hey, hey. Missed your face, Iggy. Yours too, Jenny, sweetie. I heard you two were in the market for cookies, hm? Fortunately, I came to work prepared.

[sdn-bunsenburner]

*Jenny leaps from Ignis’s arms and clings to Mark’s legs, vibrating happily.*

PAPA!!! LOOK WHAT AUNTIE HELENA GAVE ME!!!

*She shows him a simple silver necklace.*

[mark-from-hr]

Oh, jeez! Helena’s pulling out all the stops, huh? That’s real neat, sweetie. Hey, look, it almost matches my necklace.

[sdn-bunsenburner]

*the kiddo squeals, then makes an “uppies” motion with her hands. Ignis picks her up, hands her to mark, and kisses him.*

“Helena’s been a doll.”

[mark-from-hr]

C’mere, sweet thing. Aren’t you the cutest?

Oh, I bet. Helena’s awesome. Real smart, too… especially with all the eldritch stuff.

[sdn-bunsenburner]

She really is.

*he kisses Mark’s cheek, then wraps his arms around his waist.*

“How’s work, hon?”

[mark-from-hr]

Mmm.. can’t complain. Well, I could, but it’s just work. No big deal. We’re having a little bit of a slowdown in reports, so I’m trying to enjoy it while it lasts.

How’s everything for you, love? Anything new?

[sdn-bunsenburner]

Pretty good… aside from the werewolf stuff, I’ve been getting closer to a good flame retardant. One of the guys down there is working on the same thing, so we cross reference a lot.

[mark-from-hr]

Hey, that’s awesome. Glad you’re making progress, love. Let me know when you get it, yeah? We can all go out and celebrate or something.