looking like a whole snack in this b

life? ok 3/10

[cruzfucker]

the walking dead, game of thrones, and breaking bad were just superwholock for men

[tami-taylors-hair]

[daredussy]

sir that’s my emotional support cowboy 

[cheaphalloweencostume]

oh good to know the tumblr staff team has gone completely insane

[cheaphalloweencostume]

sir im gonna need to see your male nipple license

[baece]

sir that is my emotional support female nipple

[gwennovynne]

who else just wants to fuck off and living in animal crossing. my neighbor is a bird. i sold three pieces of fruit and bought a sofa with the profit. caught butterflies for two straight hours. my debt exists but the debtor literally doesn’t give a single flying fuck. i wanna go drink coffee at a cafe where it’s served to me by a Gentle pigeon. everyone is happy like 99% of the time unless you whack em with a net or something idk

[pidgeys]

[aximili]

and that’s that on that. good night

[mjalti]

I’m one of those girls that uses lotions and creams and body butters every single day bc I love being soft and delicately well scented & every time I put some one I think of that one line in Gone Girl where Amy’s husband is like “and all of her lotioning. it was so annoying.” And I rub the lotion into my body with more vigor. what a damn and mean loser.

[meladoodle]

In improv class we had to come up with a kinda neutral statement for someone to respond to and one of the guys said to me “hey did you hear they’ve stopped making socks?” and I just lost it. That shit is so funny. Why would they just stop making socks. I wanna explore that world.

[livemasbrand-deactivated2017053]

at the press of a button burt will send you his bees

[mrbulian]

i’m no cinnamon tographer but this was gay

[sparkytheandroid]

Say “Pass the Heinz Mayochup” to instantly do 15 damage to a target and aggro everyone at the dinner table.

[lovingrot]

experienced the wrath of god at Claire’s

[warpedsoulgem-deactivated202102]

just say you got an infection from the piercing gun and go

[lovingrot]

this is the only funny response everyone else shut up

[oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019]

[deathgripspussy]

twitter is turning into 2013 tumblr

[deathgripspussy]

[ecodyke-hiatus-deactivated20200]

[adultlikers]

[porksweats]

e me a mail

[fortooate]

make the attachment a pic of a snail

[50shadesofyodaddysdick]

me to my friends after they find out that i like some generic ass white boy

[1i73-deactivated20221021]