Mars :)

[ninalinovna]

shush, bruce 🤫 he's tired

[defiantlybouncingonit]

Reblog this to reblog from the user you reblogged from

[sparkle-robin-4]

All of Bruce's kids have come out to him as some form of homosexual that when it comes to Duke, Bruce just assumes he's queer and is too scared to tell him for some reason.

Sure, literally everyone in this family, including Bruce, are publically out it's still normal to be afraid to come out and Bruce thinks he just needs an extra push.

He starts asking Duke things about his love life, starts saying shit like "I'm always here for you, you know that right?" and even resorts to dumbass shit like leaving little rainbow flags in places he knows Duke will find them.

Duke is freaking out.

Duke: guys, Bruce is acting really strange.

Jason: he's always acting strange. It's Bruce.

Duke: yeah but like extra strange

Tim: strange how?

Duke: idk man he's like, being strangely supportive. Like in a creepy way. And he keeps asking if I have a "lover" and what my type is. It's really weirdly invasive and I don't know what to do

Everyone:

Jason, starts laughing hysterically:

Dick: Duke-

Tim: oh my god.

Dick: Duke he-

Steph, wheezing: holy shit

Dick: Duke he thinks your gay and he's trying to see if you'll come out to him

Duke: but I'm not gay ????

Jason, still laughing: I think he just assumes any kid around him is some form of gay at this point

Damian: I suppose none of us are heterosexuals

So, Duke has to sit Bruce down and break the news that he is straight and exclusively likes girls. Bruce is surprised, thanks him for telling him and now says shit like "I know it's hard but we can get through this"

The kids love it.

Jason, who is still laughing: you had to come out to Bruce as STRAIGHT. This is the best day ever!

[papayafromtv]

scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 16 (masterpost here)

*Alfred bringing tea and a plate of biscuits down to the cave during a monthly mandatory strategy meeting, with Bruce stood at the head of a table all the kids are seated around*

Duke: i shouldn't even have to be here, i'm the only one on dayshift.

Jason: uh- i reject that; i'm doin' shit during the day too, y'know.

Duke, without missing a beat: that's because you're unemployed and have no civilian friends, there's a fucking difference Jason.

Dick: *covers his mouth, snickering*

Bruce: now, boys-

Jason: i will jump over this table, brightshit. try me.

Duke: *flips Jason off*

Jason, starting to get up: oh you want it-?

Alfred, pointedly putting the tray of snacks down in between them, giving them both warning glares: i trust that the meeting is going well?

*a beat*

Jason, sitting back down: dammit,

Bruce: *sigh* thank you, Alfred. now if we could just get back to-

Duke: i still don't want to be here.

Bruce: oh for- we've been over this, Duke. everybody has to attend these meetings.

Damian: just because you say something is mandatory doesn't mean it's actually necessary. it's subjective.

Bruce: it's not subjective, it's fact. if we don't take time to co-ordinate ourselves then we're more liable to miscommunicate and get ourselves, or others, hurt. it's important that we take this time to go over protocols and codes, as well as alert everybody of upcoming missions. it's not like you have anything better to do tonight, Damian.

Damian: what the hell,

Dick: oooh~

Damian: how dare you; i have plenty of ways to spend my evening, thank you very much-

Bruce, pinching the bridge of his nose: i didn't mean it that way, chum, can we just-

Damian: for starters, Drake and I have a new Lego set to construct, which you are selfishly taking time away from!

Steph, squinting across at Tim: sorry, you two build Lego sets together?

Tim: *defensive* what, mad that he doesn't play with you?

Steph, turning to Damian incredulously: well fucking yes?? dude- i ask you to hang out all the time. how come you'll play with Tim but not me!?

Damian, easily: because your version of hanging out is just dragging me all over Gotham while we stalk your English professor. i don't give a fuck which of the PA's he's hooking up with, Brown. i just want to build Lego.

Alfred: *watches with narrowed eyes as Cass slowly leans forward and drags the entire plate of biscuits towards herself*

Bruce: Damian, language.

Damian: me?!

Dick: fuck yeah, bring down the hammer, B.

Bruce, exhausted: can we all just-

Damian, planting his hands on the table: NO, WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING MAD WHEN THEY SWEAR?

Bruce: Damian- sit back down,

Jason, casually putting his feet on the table: it's 'cause you do it wrong, Dames. the curse word has to fall off the tongue comfortably, so that nobody even realises it shouldn't be in the sentence. *tipping his head up to show his mouth* you gotta- like this, roll your tongue slightly, just let it fall off, see: cunt.

Damian, copying: cunt.

Jason: cunt,

Damian: cunt.

Bruce, staring between the two in defeat: *makes eye contact with Alfred pleadingly*

Alfred: *shrugs*

Jason: cunt,

Damian: cunt, like that?

Jason: yeah, but in a sentence.

Damian: Dick Grayson is a cunt. like that?

Jason: yeah you got it.

Dick: WOAH WOAH- why am i catching strays? the fuck did i do?

Tim, flatly: if you hadn't fucked up the protocol code names three months ago, we wouldn't have to do these meetings.

Duke, pointing at Tim in agreement: that's true.

Dick: I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE, JACKASSES, STEPH DID IT TOO!

Steph: at least i was concussed. you're just an idiot.

Dick: *visibly offended* i'll have you know-

Bruce, snapping: ok that is IT. all of you sit back down, we are going over the current standing protocols and that is FINAL. none of you are leaving until i dismiss you, and if you don't comply then you will be benched for the foreseeable future, understood?

*silence*

*the kids awkwardly exchanging glances as they settle back down into their chairs*

Bruce, sighing in relief: finally. now, can we all-

Jason: *sticks his hand up in the air*

Bruce:

Bruce: *wary* what is it about, Jason?

Jason, innocently: i have a question about the protocols.

Bruce: ...go on then.

Jason: what's the protocol for when you let a call from your overbearing father go to voicemail because you're busy getting it on with Roy Harper mid-patrol, and then said overbearing father just hacks into your private com line mid-fuck anyway, completely ignoring your boundaries and throwing off the mood, all because he wanted to ask whether or not you'd prefer fish or chicken for the family barbeque that weekend?

*complete and utter silence*

Alfred: *stares in disappointment at a rapidly reddening Bruce*

Duke, grinning wildly as he looks between Bruce and Jason: has that ever happened?

Jason, flatly: three times.

Bruce:

Bruce:

Cass: *loudly crunches on biscuits*

Bruce: ok Jason you can go,

Jason, already leaping out his chair: SEE YOU SUCKERS-

Steph: WOAH- HOLD ON, HOLD ON-

Dick: THAT'S SO UNFAIR,

Duke: JUST BECAUSE HE'S A SLUT HE GETS TO AVOID THE MEETINGS?!

Bruce: -STOP SHOUTING AT ME-

Damian: so what i'm hearing is that to get out of these ridiculous things, i just have to tell Jon he's allowed to hit?

*silence*

Bruce, to Damian: ...ok you're grounded,

Tim: Steph, i know we broke up years ago and you're technically my sister now but i feel like this is for the greater good-

Steph: you and i have the same mind, Timmy-boy.

Bruce, distraught: NO-,

[mars-in-a-cup]

Was tryna get ready for bed and saw like 4 spiders in the bathroom and now I feel like something is crawling on me every 20 seconds I forgot how awful it is when the bugs move in

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

btw if you’re kink shaming people, I hope you know that every single person who reblogs this post and I are shaming you

[omtai]

Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[drtanner]

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

[fiercene0n]

locked

[redstonedust]

i was trying to take a photo of our cat sitting like a person but my fuckin. my phone camera. my. the

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

reblog if you love ao3 exactly how it is and you don’t want it to “update” or change in any way♡

[femboy-nation-rise]

I am so glad that I live in a world with trans women and trans men and nonbinary people and intersex people. Things are hard for all of us right now, but I love you all and I am wishing that things get better and easier for all of us! ❤️

[lesserthan-3]

dubcon themes - threesome with gaz and price :3

captain john price who’s just a natural leader. He’s had it in him since he was just a wee lad. people just always gravitated towards him and over the years, he’s come to enjoy the natural dominance he has over others.

first, he meets gaz and gaz is the perfect subordinate. not only does he understand the hierarchy, but price can literally see the glimmer in Gaz’s eyes- eagerness to prove that he’s a good soldier.

then there’s you. you’re young, bright eyed, and similar to gaz, eager to please. he swears “yes sir” are your two favorite words. and just like gaz, he takes you under his wing.

you and gaz flourish under his leadership, learning exceptionally fast and in the meantime, forming a “special bond.”

it takes him a bit- but price notices. At first, it’s you offering your water bottle when gaz runs out. And then it’s the playful nudges at the dinner table. And even during movie nights, you two are suddenly sitting side by side rather than with price in the middle.

so, with his two best soldiers at heart, he calls you both into his office. “You two have anything you want to tell me?”

you and gaz give each other an odd look- perhaps out of confusion or just pure reluctance. “don’t think I haven’t noticed what’s been going on between you two.”

when you’re both silent, eyes straight ahead, and still as a board, price sighs. “Look, I’m not mad.”

you finally crack, “you’re not?” And your question confirms everything he needs to know.

price stalks over to you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder and his fingers tighten ever so slightly. “No, I’m not. But I’m saying this in your best interest. There’s lots to think about when you start a relationship. This isn’t high school.”

“We know that, sir.” gaz takes a step closer to you, intertwining your fingers together. prices focus drifts, watching the way gaz has his thumb rubbing soothing circles against the backside of your hand.

“You both know I want what’s best for you, right?” To which you both nod quickly- as you both always did. “Good- I’m gonna help you two through this, yeah?”

and in hindsight, you probably should have asked a few more questions but “yes sir” came so easily with price.

so gradually, price helps you two get on the same assignments. then he’s suggesting gift ideas for national girlfriend day to gaz. and soon, he even manages to move you both in same barracks despite genders usually being split.

and when all is going well, price calls you into his office again.

“Alls good on the home front?”

this time, gaz is more confident as he holds your hand in his. “Very. Thank you, sir, or helping.”

price nods approvingly. joy swells in his chest as he watches his two favorite kids grow up into real adults. “so now that you two have been getting along, it’s time for the next step in your relationship.”

“Next step?” you ask softly, tilting your head in confusion.

“how do you feel about intimacy?”

you both turn to look at each other before a blush creeps on your cheeks. Gaz nearly mirrors your actions as you both bashfully look away.

price let’s put an amused laugh. “I’ll take that as a no.” he circles around you both, clapping a hand on both of your backs which startles you both. “how ‘bout we start today?”

there’s some brief hesitation, but then overall agreement when price assures you again that is all “for your best interest.”

so price instructs both of you to strip down. it’s humiliating to say the least, but that feeling sits beside a needing ache as your eyes land on gaz’s warm and bare skin.

he has gaz lay you down on his desk as he takes his seat in the large leather chair. “Right there, Kyle. Get in between them legs. See how it’s leaking? Good sign, son.”

Gaz lets out a shuddered breath. the sight of your glistening folds has his dick jumping with excitement. instinctively, he kneels down, arms wrapping around your thighs and bringing to his drooling mouth.

price keeps quiet, observing the way gaz experimentally licks a stripe up your sopping slit, taking in the way you gasp and jerk eat time he reaches your sensitive clitty.

he watches the way your hips start to chase more and more- eager for a friction that gaz is just too polite to give. so price stands up, walking to behind gaz. he grabs a fistful of his hair to which gaz groans deep into your cunt before pressing his face against your deprived core. “she’s not a porcelain doll, son. you gotta get in there.”

you shudder, hips humping poor Gaz’s face as he’s probably losing oxygen by the second. but you just can’t help it- not when it feels so. damn. good.

and when price things gaz can handle it on his own, he lets go. he knows gaz is a fast learner after all. price makes his way to your head, keen to the way you’re whimpering and sobbing? is that a tear?

he kneels down, palm pressed on your forehead. “Aww, poor baby. these are good tears, yeah?”

you nod furiously, “w-wanna…I’m- oh! oh! cum…cumming!”

and when you’re both a little too drunk on pleasure, he stands, sinking his cock onto your gasping mouth. his eyes flutter briefly, letting out a deep groan as he watches you writhe and quite literally feels you whimpering as you climax.

when gaz pulls away, he’s too memorized to notice anything but the way your pussy is practically begging to be fucked. his eyes are glazed over with one thought and one thought only.

price leans over the table, cock sliding deeper in your throat in the process. he flattens out his palm, running it down your stomach until he’s fingering your entrance. “give me your hand, kyle.”

gaz complies. price overlaps his hand with gaz’s, guiding it to your entrance. he pushes in two of gaz’s, and then one of his own.

Gaz watches in amazement at the way your pussy opens up so willingly for not one, not two, but three thick fingers. each pulse of your cunt is mirrored with a twitch of his dick, eager to feel the warmth around his own member.

price curls his finger, pushing against gaz who mimics the movement. “You feel that? that little spongey thing?”

“yes, sir.”

you let out a mewl, knees jerking close instinctively.

price delivers a sharp and firm slap to each thigh. “open up, soldier. keep ‘em there.”

he watches in wonders as your legs settle, complying with his orders before shifting his focus back to gaz. “You wanna hit that every time, understood?”

price withdraws his fingers, standing back up straight as gaz does the same. gaz takes his cock, pumping his length one and then twice before lining it up with your sopping puss.

with a deep and gutting moan, gaz fills you up with one firm press of his hips. his head drops back and he swears he’s seeing stars. he whines ever so softly, bucking his hips and burying himself to the hilt in your warm hole.

“how’s it feel?”

“l-like heaven, sir.”

it doesn’t take long before gaz’s hips chase the never ending reward of being engulfed in your divine. he’s panting, firm hands on your hips, bringing you to the base of his cock with every stroke.

price smiles in satisfaction, watching his mentee bloom with confidence. now that gaz is settled, he focuses back on you.

he withdraws his cock and it leaves a lewd string of saliva connecting it to your plump lips. “nice look you got there.”

he’s in fact referring to the way your eyes are glossy with need and the thin sheen of sweat of your forehead that only adds to the alluring mess. he runs his have over your upper body before finding home around your chest, letting his thumb softly trace over your perked nipples.

he slides his cock back into your slacked jaw, not thrusting, not rolling, merely resting it in your warmth.

gaz leans his body over yours, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck as he desperately humps into you. and being the perfect rule follower he is- he’s thrusting right into the same spot over and over. thank goodness price was there to help him find it.

“Oh, baby- oh fuck, you feel so good. baby, baby, oh b-baby.” he’s whimpering into your ear, hot breath grazing your neck as if almost suffocating you.

price looks down adoringly, watching his two favorite subordinates completely in a euphoric high. there’s something so satisfying about the way you both are shaking with need and clumsily moving your bodies to get off on one another.

price withdraws his cock, stuffing it back into his pants before taking his seat again at the head of the desk. “Fast learners you both are.”

And in a broken unison, you both reply on instinct. “Th-thank you, sir.”

[welshj03]

The video game screen trend but with Ghost! I love both versions :D

+Referenced parts of Brick lane for 2009 and Akihabara for 2022, Thank you google earth 🤣

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[status-quo-hater]

Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.

He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM

[pookapufferfish]

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”