aaaaaaaaaaaa

genuinely just throwing stuff at the wall

[thememedaddy]

[i-am-a-lazy-mess]

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

[tolerateit]

i was unfamiliar with their swag

[b0tster]

you look like the kinda girl who'd open up ms paint back in the day select the spray paint tool and click and hold to watch it slowly turn into a perfect circle

[charlesoberonn]

If Sherlock Holmes was Isekai'd to a fantasy world he would just deduce the rules of this world and get back to solving crimes. He'll find an elf girl sidekick,name her Watson, and pretend like nothing happened.

[ironmyrmidon]

"If you look closely, you can see traces of chalk dust on the floor. Our murderer must have used a magic circle to kill our victim."

"Actually Holmes, this looks like salt. Quite unusual for a magic circle, since it can be scattered so easily..."

"It tastes like salt too. Good eye Watson. Let us start by visiting the fish mongers."

"Well I would enjoy some fried dragonfish, but how does this help our investigation?"

[charlesoberonn]

"A process of elimination, my long-eared friend. There're only two ways for the culprit to get salt in the city. They could have brought it in themselves-"

"But then they'd have to pay the tarrif!"

"Very astute! No, a much likelier option is that they bought it here. Either the docks or the meat market would be the place. And I have a hunch that our culprit is fishy in more ways than one."

[charlesoberonn]

"But Holmes, how did you know the merfolk ambassador was the killer?"

"An excellent question, the key was the footprints."

"But he doesn't even have feet!"

"He doesn't as of right now. But you forget, the magic circle."

"I see! The killing spell was a water spear, which normally requires a circle."

"But doesn't if you're already imbued with water magic like our scaly ambassador."

"So the circle..."

"To grant him a pair of feet. For just long enough to leave distinctive footprints in the scattered salt and to make us suspect a two-legged killer."

"By the Goddess, Holmes, you're a genius!"

[illuminopseudonymous]

Makes sense.

Anyway, getting sheer autism vibes from Holmes

[charlesoberonn]

Good. That means I wrote him in-character.

[fruitpeels]

[spacemancharisma]

do y’all remember usernames??? from back when every fuckin website didn’t need your email phone number home address social security number just to join/sign up for something?? when you could make website-specific accounts that weren’t linked to literally anything else??? they tried to boil us like a frog slowly switching to “username/email” and then just asking for your email. but I remember. I remember usernames.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Give me less "being kind requires zero effort" and more "being kind is worth the effort it takes."

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[captain-price-returns]

[quasi-normalcy]

I don't understand how this is even a defence in the age of drone warfare.

[graham-folger]

Or even like... Cannon warfare.

[quasi-normalcy]

Yeah, the Ottomans could have taken this in the fourteenth century.

[gh0stienj0yer]

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

[gh0stienj0yer]

posts that make you want to get in the water

[mismedleym]

recollections

[mrporg]

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[eridan-ampora]

my tea bag broke

[schmenty]

Guy who is about to give birth to leafs

[eridan-ampora]

what the fuck ARE you talking about

[tris-morreu]

nolan's the odyssey has such a fundamentally culturally christian understanding of religion and divinity that it is genuinely jarring to see characters in a supposedly ancient greek historical context describe divinity and its expression in those terms. characters wonder aloud why gods hide themselves (they didn't), question the existence of what nolan interprets the supernatural to be (they wouldn't) and talk of zeus's law (not real, and still somehow bastardized) in the same way we would talk about the ten commandments. it's so out of place. and it taps into that "defy the gods" thing.

like. we can defy the christian god, in a way, because we can choose to not do what he says we ought to. sure. but we cannot defy greek gods in the same way, because the god is not just an entity that commands you but the very thing you are doing. apollo does not just send plagues, he is plague. you know apollo is real because there is plague. plague is not apollo acting in the world, it is an instance of apollo, in the same way that insight is athena, love is aphrodite, harvest is demeter, storms are zeus. gods are not commanding nature and sending signs and acting upon the world, because signs and nature and human nature are themselves the gods. the gods cannot be absent, because we still get ideas, and harvest, and go to war, and feel desire, and hunt. the gods cannot be defied because you cannot defy "getting ideas" or "harvesting" or "having sex" or "dying." to attempt to is entirely futile. like you cannot defy poseidon because you cannot defy the sea. you cannot defy aphrodite because you cannot defy love and reproduction. nature and human nature are unbeatable, and so the gods are unbeatable, because they are nature and human nature.

and it's such a beautiful way of looking at the world, and he just doesn't get that.

[polifresh]

It pains me so much to see so many countries around the world letting themselves be swayed by misinformation to spread hatred towards a nation. I wish they could look beyond what Twitter bots say and seek out factual information or even personal experiences of Argentinians with foreigners who lived here in Argentina. Does racism exist in Argentina? Of course, just like in any other country in the world. Nobody denies that. But historically, Argentina has never been a racist country.

Do your research, investigate, don't be swayed by the masses. Hatred leads nowhere, it benefits no one, only those who seek to divide us.

I don't want to talk about football because I didn't watch any of the World Cup matches. And I also don't like football.

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[inkperch]

Okay, fic pitch:

All of Fe3h is a DnD campaign by the four saints in modern au, spiralling wildly out of control-

Sothis is the Dm, her kids are all. Slightly concerned about the fact she made her own spine the main mcguffin infinity+1 sword.

Edelgard is Cichol's character, he heard his sister had managed to bribe their mum into making her old character from last campaign head of the church, and immediately started plotting.

Dmitri is Indetch's, he gave him the weapon breaking gimmick specifically so he had an excuse to give his character more weapons, only to learn Sothis had learned her lesson about giving him access to a crafting system-

Claude is Macuil's, he's single handedly responsible for worldbuilding all the non-Fodlan regions cause Sothis asked for a hand, and is immensely pissed that the other three keep finding ways to stay in Fodlan, to the point he went 'fuck it, my characters from Almyra, he's gone home and if you wanna get him come get him.'

Byleth is Cethlean's, she's so utterly busted narratively because granddaughter privileges, and Edelgard is so obsessed with Byleth bc Cichol.

Shez is Serios, she wanted to do a full alignment flip from last game, but as she was making her character she was like 'Jeez, these guys are like. Super boring. I'm just gonna make Shez a random Mercanary- no, I'm keeping their skills the same, I've already finished their stats dammit, I'll just. Mystery box thier past, there we go.', and Sothis freaking ran with it-