Its NOT ALRIGHT, BUT IT'S OKAY

Nathaniel Martinez || 19 || Ready for whatever comes next.

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

Tumblr hates me, and not letting me reply to some of my replies. So if don’t reply to you it’s bc life hates me. 

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

text // nathaniel 🙈

Eden: Alright then, I'm not going to fight you. Don't say I didn't offer!

Eden: So why don't you ever join me when I'm watching TV? Or why don't you help me cook? Explain yourself.

Nathaniel: Wait, do you have a touch screen phone as well? Because if so, can you teach me how to use it?

Nathaniel: It's a very good explanation....you never ask me too.

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

[alloftheo]

“Want me to call you something different? I think both would hurt like hell…so…the gay thing…was that you coming out to someone?”

“No, Nathaniel's fine. No only would it hurt, but it would be super uncomfortable. The gay thing? Um- well, i’ve got to say i’ve never actually thought about my sexuality, like at all.” 

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

[plscarmen]

You. You better be enjoying that.

Oh, trust me it’s absolutely delicious. 

[primahdonna-deactivated20170530]

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[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

text // nathaniel 🙈

Eden: I know, I know. That doesn't mean I can't still spoil you a little.

Eden: Shortly after dinner so I expect you to be home for that too.

Nathaniel: As much as i would love that, i think i can handle this one.

Nathaniel: Mom...you know that i don't leave the house right? I'm in my room.

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

Trust me I won’t forget. Christmas is such an exciting holidays. Everything gets so pretty with the snow and the lights. I also adore buying presents so I’ll probably will be super excited about everything on the other side of your phone screen before you even realize. Bingo! But now you’ve gone to the wrong side. That’s your problem. You don’t need any extra day of laziness, you’ve already had enough of this. You gotta do it now. Don’t get me wrong though, Rome didn’t build in a day but taking litle steps by little I believe you could end up achieving something good. And I hell know you can do that and more if you truly want to!

I wasn’t actually trying to make it sure you’d do it but I’m glad it has helped you to realize that you definitely have to do it. And sure going to the gym can help you out but I had lots of lazy friends that tried it out and within a week they already ditched it out, you can always just try to go more by walk to the near places instead of just taking a car, or ride a bike, our holy Earth will thank you for it. I totally would but let’s not ignore the fact that you wouldn’t like that. I know that you’d have as much fun as I would. Exactly but now it’s summer, time to go outside, sleep with good shows on tv and forget about the whole stress the winter gives you.

Christmas is my favorite holiday, sometimes at like three in the morning when no one’s out, i’ll go out in the middle of the street and play with the snow. So i will happily share you excitement on the other side of the screen. Alright, it seems like i’m going to need your help with this whole laziness thing. 

Well either way, we should get going before it gets dark. That sounds like something i would do, go to the gym to exercise for about three days and then just quit. I actually prefer to ride a bike so that’s a great thing. So that will help earth out a little bit, i hope. Well we’re not so sure if i wouldn’t like it, since it’s never happened yet. Alright, i’ll take your word for it, but remember summer can be just as stressful as winter. 

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

text // nathaniel 🙈

Eden: That makes me feel a little better, yeah! I love you too, handsome.

Eden: Are you asking me if you should get a new phone or if I can buy you a new phone?

Eden: Because I have a special announcement!! Well, technically I want to know what you guys think of the idea first.

Nathaniel: I'm just asking if i should get a new one, i can buy my own phone mom.

Nathaniel: Well what time is this happening? Because you know i hate surprises.

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

text // nathaniel 🙈

Eden: NATHANIEL MARTINEZ WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY PLANS TO GET STONED? Just wait until I see you! You're in big trouble, young man.

Eden: Oh.. I didn't read the second message. My bad. Actually, your bad, you almost gave me a heart attack.

Eden: But hey I figured out how to do the caps lock thing, how cool is that?

Nathaniel: I'm sorry for almost giving you a heart attack, if it makes you feel any better....I love you.

Nathaniel: That's super cool. I'm so proud of you ma. Which reminds me, apparently it's not cool to have a flip phone anymore? Do you think i should get a new phone?

Nathaniel: Wait, why are we having a family meeting?

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

“Yes, Nathaniel…It was a joke. I think there would be something very wrong with me if I did that…also pretty sure you would have noticed by now”

“I just realized that you’re the only person that calls me by my full first name. I mean it would be pretty rad if you could do that don’t you think?” 

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

text // open

Eden: I'm calling a family meeting so I'm going to need you to cancel your plans for tonight.

Eden: And no you can't get out of it, it's very important.

Nathaniel: But mother, you can't to this to me. I have a life you know, friends, a soulmate and i had so many great plans with so many great people to get stoned tonight.

Nathaniel: Okay, i hope you sensed the sarcasm in that last text, i'll see you tonight.

[marleyvanrosen-blog]

I do have seen that movie! The three of them, to be accurate. We totally should watch it together on Christmas time, like skyping or whatever, that should be fun. But back to the quote, I actually think you’re focusing differently from what I understand over there. Like if seeing is believing, one first has to see evidence of something before they believe. But the quote is suggesting me that perhaps it is by faith that we begin to see. You have to believe there’s something bigger than your laziness and unsociability to start seeing it. Which is kinda what I said couple of minutes ago if you think about it carefully.

You see? This walk is going to do so much good in your life. Exercising is always a good thing, or else when you’re elder you’re barely going to be able to stand in your own feet, which would be quite tragic. It’s a shame we’re like thousands of miles away or else you’ll only be inside your house when you had to study. So do I. I’ve been wanting to see it for quite awhile but on winter is hard to find the enough time to do so.

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

That sounds like a lot of fun we should make sure that happens. So basically, to sum this all up.....i need to get over myself and think differently? I’m sure i can do that, but a ma needs a day of laziness. I

I  think you’re just saying that just to make sure i walk with you, but i’m taking the bait. I should probably exercise more, maybe even get a membership to a gym. I do not want to end up old and complaining about a bad back, with my grandchildren sad that i can’t carry them around, i cannot let that happen. I feel like if we lived near each other that i won’t even remember what my house would look like because you would keep me out all of the time. I understand, winter is the time to hibernate and study and forget all about the good shows on tv. 

[augustxhaverley-deactivated2017]

“Well as a certified gay I can confidently say that all true gays shit skittles and vomit glitter.”

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

Nathaniel turned around to look at the person who had spoken to him, he hung up his phone quickly. “Oh- i was just- wait....what did you just say?That’s a- uh that’s a joke right?” 

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

"So just because i say that i shit skittles for a living you now believe that i’m gay? Don’t you think that if i were coming out as gay that i would do it in a more original way?" 

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

So i’ve been trying to think about a reason for Nathaniel to even depression and my mind is coming up blank. So i was wondering if any of you  cupcakes had any suggestions it would mean a lot to me. But if not that’s cool too 

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

That’s what you think it is. You just have to see past your usual laziness and unsociability. Your relativism of ‘I don’t see this therefore it doesn’t exist’ is just another manifestation of your ignorance. And yes, you are an ignorant just like everyone in this damn world so don’t take it personal. But you know what they say the first step to learn something and start the journey to the reality is knowing your ignorance so don’t deny it just embrace it.

That’s right my friend, get that ass up and let’s get on our way. The sooner we leave the sooner we’ll come back. Walking and eating great combination, what you lose walking you win it eating so at the end of the summer you ain’t going back home with God knows how much pounds more. How to get Away with Murder, what a great choice you’ve done! I’ve only seen amazing reviews from it, second season has started already, right? We’re gonna have lots to catch up.

How exactly do i look past my laziness and unsocialibity? When i know that it’s there? That reminded me of that Santa Clause movie with Tim Allen·“Seeing isn’t believing, believing is seeing.” Have you ever watched it? I don’t really appreciate being called ignorant though. But i can agree with the fact that everyone in this world is ignorant. Embrace it, got it...do you want me to walk around calling myself a douche?·

Fine Fine, i’ll take a walk with you. I don’t mind gaining a couple pounds actually, but i guess walking and eating is a great way to exercise which by the way i really need. I barely leave the house when i’m home. I only go to school and uh- well that’s about it. Yes! The second season just started and i really need to see what’s so great about this show.·

[martinez-nathaniel-blog]

Right. Yeah. You might not feel it but it’s just like in that damn cave Plato said, you’re just chained, in this case with the couch. Looking at these false truths, in this case the television, and your only way to overpass your ignorance to the truth is stepping out. You really want to be ignorant all your life, sitting on this couch, alien of what reality looks like? 

I also have got you covered, as usual. Wear less cloth and a hat so you won’t sweat or have sunburns and we can always run away off people like we’ve always had. And I’d appreciate if you didn’t ask questions you already know the answer of. C’mon let’s just have a walk around and grab some well deserved ice cream and I’ll let you choose what to watch on Netflix when the sun goes down.

This is nothing like that, this is me having no motive to be active. It’s not some big conspiracy it’s just me being lazy and unsociable. Ignorant? I think you and i both know i’’m far from being ignorant. Reality? I’ve seen it, and it sucks. 

So either way i’m being forced to go outside, got it. Geez, i was just asking a question. Though now that i realized what i asked, i should have known the answer to it anyways. Alright fine, we’ll take a walk and eat some ice cream, but i hope you know that later on you’re getting stuck in my room the all night watching How to get Away with Murder.