Awkward Damn Potato

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[darklynoon-deactivated20170407]

Reblog if you’re 30 or older

This is an experiment to see if there really are as few of us as people think.You can also use this to freak out your followers who think you’re 25 or something. Yay!

[marvel-lucy]

I barely even remember 30...

[rainbowkisses31]

Oh my…. I love this!! 🤤😍💜

[marvel-lucy]

Holy sweet mother of God.

[rainbowkisses31]

This is amazing!! 🤣🤣🤣

[tony-stanks]

Choose your warrior: red Henley vs. black T-shirt.

[marvel-lucy]

Black tshirt. Oh yes. Also short hair.

Also I don't know how to do tags on mobile 🤷‍♀️

[elliewlliams]

BEFORE WE GO | dir. Chris Evans

[marvel-lucy]

That hand on the face thing, in the final gif? Yeah, I'm not crying with loneliness and touch-starvation, you are.😢

[unearthlydust]

[marvel-lucy]

Y'know, call me sappy, but I love that Sebastian thinks about Bucky's thought processes. He could have just been like 'I turn up and say the words', but nooo, he overthinks Bucky as much as me 🙂🥰❤

[unpretty]

Marcus stopped abruptly in the middle of the grass. A woman in a blue dress was already sitting on the Crisis Bench. He didn’t recognize the dress. She looked up from where she was sitting.

“Sorry,” he said, holding up his hands. “I didn’t think anyone would be over here.” He didn’t think he remembered an introduction to anyone in that dress. It was a memorable sort of a dress. “I believe I ran into your mother inside?” he ventured, because he ran into so many mothers.

“She’s not here,” she said, which was not what he wanted to hear and which he absolutely could not handle at the moment.

“Right,” he said, trying to recover, pretending as if he’d just remembered something. “Your father–”

“We haven’t met,” she interrupted. “I’m not anyone.”

“Oh thank god,” he said, abandoning propriety to collapse onto the bench, dropping his head between his knees. “Thank you.”

“Too many people?” she said sympathetically.

“I’m really bad with faces,” he admitted.

“A lot of people are,” she assured him.

He dragged his hands down his face. “I just confused a Duke with a waiter.”

She bit her lip. “As long as you aren’t rude to waiters, you should be fine,” she said.

“I wasn’t rude,” he said. “I’m never rude. It would have been better if I was rude.” He buried his face in his hands. “I tipped him,” he said, anguished, muffled by his palms. Why had he been dressed like a waiter?

She burst out laughing, loud and with her head tipped back, overwhelming the empty garden. He separated his fingers to stare at her.

“Sorry,” she hiccuped, which immediately descended back into snorts. She laughed like she was hunting for truffles.

“Thanks,” he said, though he almost did feel better. “I’m feeling very supported in my time of need.”

“There’s only one thing you can do,” she said, wiping tears from her eyes, trying to dab at them to not destroy her makeup. Reflexively, he offered her a handkerchief, which she accepted. “You have to flee the country. It’s the only way.” She checked the handkerchief for signs of smeared eyeliner. “Leave your family. Change your name. Get a new family. Never tell them your dark secret.”

“I think my old family might notice if I got a new family,” he said, now resting his chin in his hands, elbows balanced on his knees.

“That’s why you have to burn your house down,” she said matter-of-factly, now holding his handkerchief in a neat fold in her lap. “Just burn the whole thing. Everything but your favorite hat. You leave the hat on top of the ashes for your family to find. ‘This must be him’ they’ll say. 'He would never have left his favorite hat’. It’s the perfect crime. Once it’s done, you become a pig farmer. Anyone comes around asking questions, you feed them to the pigs.”

“You seem like you’ve put a lot of thought into this,” he observed. “How are your pigs?”

She looked him over sidelong. “Hungry,” she said primly.

Keep reading

[barnescafe]

feeling a bit like crawling into a hole, im going to look for what hair dye they have at the store

[barnescafe]

nvm mom said no

[theysaywhatasadsight]

Dying your hair wont make the crisis go away bby

[barnescafe]

we don't know that because my mom said no

[marvel-lucy]

I mean, I don't know you, or who you are, or your situation, but... it's your hair, not your mom's... I'm a mom and no way I'd overrule my kids on their own bodies. Also dying your hair is fun. And temporary. Just sayin'...

[musette22]

Local museum volunteer Chris explaining all the items and history facts to teacher Sebastian and his 20 kids on a school trip or to single dad Sebastian and his twins (one who is really into it and ask a lot of "but why?" And the other one who just sticks his fingers up his nose and yawns lmao)

Okay so I was just on a walk and I started thinking about this ask again (I am so so so sorry for how long it took me to reply to this, I suck wow) because I couldn’t get that new pic of Seb looking like a literal DILF out of my head, but I couldn’t remember the specifics so what came out is slightly different from what you suggested but not much – hope you still like it (I personally screamed into my fist multiples times while thinking about this – I’m furious at how cute this little scenario is, thank you so so much for this!)

Disclaimer: I literally wrote this just now so it’s unbeta’d and probably riddled with nonsense, but I hope you guys like nonetheless!  <3

*********************

“Hi, guys! Welcome to the Concord Museum. My name is Chris and I’ll be your guide this afternoon.”

Chris eyes the little family – a father and two young kids – standing in front of him in the entrance hall of the bite-sized museum, then makes a show of looking around the otherwise empty hall. “Seems like it’s a quiet one today, so you’ll have me all to yourself!”

The father smiles, his sparkling, blue-grey eyes crinkling in the corners in a way that Chris shouldn’t be thinking of as ‘adorable’, but does nonetheless.

“Fantastic,” the man says warmly. “It’s nice to meet you, Chris. This is Margot,” – he gestures to the girl of about eight standing next to him – “and this little guy here is David,” he adds, lightly bouncing the three or four-year-old, curly haired boy on his hip. David gives Chris a wide eyed look before promptly burying his face in his father’s neck. “He’s a little shy.”

“That’s fine,” Chris tells them, smiling. He ducks his head to try and catch David’s eye. “You’re not the only one, kiddo. I’m a little shy myself sometimes, you know.”  

“I’m not shy,” Margot pipes up.

“No,” her dad agrees with a chuckle, “you’re certainly not.”

Chris turns his eyes back to their father’s face. “And your name..?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the man says, “I’m Sebastian.” He holds out his hand for Chris to shake, warm and dry with long, elegant fingers that fit nicely against Chris’s own, studier ones.

Sebastian, Chris thinks. Perfect name for a perfect guy. The term ‘DILF’ flashes unbidden through Chris’s mind – wildly inappropriate, given the circumstances, but oh so accurate. Sebastian has a sweet, charming smile, incredible bone structure, and dark, wavy hair, swept up in a quiff-like style that manages to make him look both sophisticated and a little boyish at the same time. There’s a hint of grey at his temples as well as in his beard that has Chris placing him at maybe two or three years older than himself.

“New York?” Chris guesses, as he reluctantly lets go of Sebastian’s hand.

“That’s right,” Sebastian nods. “Well, formerly, anyway. We just moved to the area, actually.”

“Oh, really? What brought you all the way out here?”

Sebastian runs a hand through his hair; a nervous habit, perhaps. “Oh, um. My ex-wife got a job in Boston last year, and I didn’t want to be too far from her and the kids, so I decided to follow suit. Only moved down here last month. This is my first full weekend with these guys at my new place, so I thought I’d take them out to do something cultural, learn a little about the local history, y’know?”

“Well, we’ve got plenty of that here,” Chris assures him. “In fact,” he adds sheepishly, “that’s kinda all we have.”

Sebastian laughs, causing Chris’s brain to glitch, which is probably why the next thing that comes out of his mouth is – “Divorce, huh? I’m sorry, that must’ve been tough.”

When Sebastian doesn’t answer straight away, Chris wants to kick himself for running his big, stupid mouth. As usual. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes hastily. “That’s none of my business. Just tryin’ to make small talk, but I always seem to forget I’m really bad at that. Forget I said anything.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Sebastian assures him, flashing Chris a quick smile. “Thank you. These things are never easy, but it’s better this way, you know?”

“They’re not fighting or anything,” Margot chimes in again, from a few feet below. “Mommy and daddy only got divorced because mommy’s a girl and daddy likes boys better than girls. Right, daddy?"

Well. Chris tries not to be too obvious about glancing at Sebastian’s face to see his reaction to that bombshell his daughter just dropped, but he’s not sure how well he manages.

Sebastian closes his eyes for a moment as if praying for strength. “That's right, sweetheart,” he says with a grimace. “But I'm sure Chris doesn't need to hear about all that."

Chris begs to differ – he’s actually extremely interested in hearing about all this, but before he has a chance to say anything in reply, Margot squares her jaw and crosses her football jersey-clad arms.

“Why not?” she asks defiantly. “There’s nothing wrong with that, you know. Some girls just like girls and some boys like boys, it’s totally normal. It’s not prola- probu –" She sighs in frustration, looking up at her dad, who’s watching her with something like pride on his handsome face.

“Problematic?”

“Yeah,” Margot concurs, “not probametic.”  

Chris hums in agreement. “It’s not, you’re absolutely right. I’ll tell you what,” he tells her conspiratorially, “I like boys better, too, actually.”

Margot’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You do?”

“I do.”

Suddenly, Margot’s little face lights up, her shrewd eyes flitting to her dad’s face for a second, then back to Chris. “Do you like my dad?”

“Margot,” Sebastian cuts in, a hint of exasperation in his tone. “That’s enough, honey.” When he tuns back to Chris to give him an apologetic look, Chris can’t help but notice the slight blush coloring his defined cheekbones. “I’m sorry about that. She’s gotten it into her head that she needs to find me the perfect man ASAP, or I’ll waste away or something.”

Chris laughs, throwing back his head in genuine mirth. “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine,” he assures them, before clapping his hands together to change the precarious subject. “So, who’s ready to learn a little bit about what living in Concord was like over a hundred years ago?”

******

Chris always enjoys volunteering at the museum – it’s nice to give something back to the community that’s been his home for his entire life, and to chat to visitors from all over who have come to visit the land of Little Women, among other things – but what Chris likes best is when he gets to show kids around the place. Some of them need to be won over (after all, a dusty old museum isn’t quite as exciting as a trip to Disney World), which Chris almost always manages, but others are instantly captivated by the strange objects and old-timey atmosphere – Sebastian’s kids, fortunately, seem to fall in the latter category.

There’s one room in particular that’s an invariably a favorite with kids – the one that houses the old children’s toys. Trains, dolls and dollhouses, most of them made from wood, all arranged in a colorful parade, with a few screens set up in front of the glass display cases on which kids can watch animations of the toys being used. To Chris’s delight, Margot and David are both instantly taken with the display, David pressing his nose against the glass while Margot fires off question after question, that Chris answers patiently and to the best of his ability.

“You sure know a lot about them,” Sebastian remarks, not without a hint of admiration, once Chris has finished explaining the mechanics of the miniature train set.

“Ah.” Chris bashfully rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess you could say I’m something of a toy enthusiast myself. I’ve actually got a carpentry workshop – that’s my real job,” he explains. “I’m just a volunteer here – and I dabble in some toy making sometimes, too.”

Sebastian’s eyes widen. “You’re kidding. I used to want to be a toy maker when I was a kid, you know,” he says wistfully. “Probably just saw Pinocchio one too many times, but it just seemed like the best job in the world to me, at the time.”

“It kinda is,” Chris grins at Sebastian, getting lost in his dancing grey eyes for a moment. “So, what did you end up doing for a living, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m a journalist. I love it, don’t get me wrong. It’s enriching, challenging. But there’s just something about working with your hands, creating something tangible, something useful…”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Chris nods. He bites his lip, hesitating for just a moment before deciding to bite the bullet. “Hey, I don’t know if you guys have plans after this, but my shift ends in five minutes. I live pretty close, maybe a ten minute drive – if you want, I could show you my workshop? Maybe the kids can try out some of the things I’ve been working on, see if they’re actually any fun to play with?”

There’s an excited collective gasp from the kids, both of them immediately turning big, hopeful eyes on their father. “Oh, daddy,” Margot pleads, tugging on his sleeve. “Can we go see the workshop, pleaaase?”  

Chris tries to ignore the way his stomach drops when Sebastian visibly hesitates.

“I don’t know, guys.” Sebastian looks back at Chris. “I don't want to intrude. It’s almost dinner time on a Saturday. I’m sure you’ve got plans, maybe with your partner..?”

Oh, Chris thinks, his chest expanding with hope. He shakes his head. “No partner,” he says, holding Sebastian’s gaze. “Just a dog.”

“A dog?” Margot squeals. “Oh my god, daddy, he’s got a dog. We have to go.”

Sebastian chuckles, rolling his eyes. "They've been hounding me about a dog for months, excuse the pun. I want one too, but I'm just not sure I'm home enough.”

Chris nods sympathetically. “Yeah, it can be tricky if you work full-time, but there’s usually a solution for this kind of thing, in my experience.”

“What’s your dog’s name?” Margot interrupts, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet.

“He’s called Dodger,” Chris tells her, unable to keep the pride out of his voice as he talks about his beloved, four legged-rescue rescue.

From Sebastian’s other side, a small voice suddenly joins in. “Like the one from Oliver?” asks David. His big, brown eyes are wide as he stares up at Chris.

“That’s right,” Chris confirms, dropping to his haunches to level the playing field a little. “Exactly like the one from Oliver. You like that movie, huh?”

David nods, looping one arm around one of his dad’s long legs while visibly fighting the urge to hide behind him completely. “It’s my favorite,” he mutters, then quickly sticks his thumb in his mouth as if to signal the end of the conversation.

“Really?” Chris asks, beaming at him. “It’s my favorite, too!”

David actually smiles at that, doing an excited little wiggle on the spot. “Daddy, can we go see Dodger, please?” he asks his dad, not bothering to remove his thumb from his mouth.

From his spot on the floor, Chris looks up Sebastian too, probably looking just as hopeful as the kids are – maybe even more so.

Sebastian shakes his head. “Sure, buddy,” he laughs, ruffling David’s hair. “How could I resist all these cute little faces, huh?”

There’s a chorus of cheers from the kids that gives Chris a much-needed moment to recover from the euphoria of hearing Sebastian call him cute. Well, sort of.

“Alright,” Chris says, getting to his feet again. “I’ll just go grab my things. Meet you guys in the parking lot?”

“Sounds good.”

Chris nods and is about to head in the direction of the staff room, when Sebastian stops him with a hand on his arm. Chris stops in his tracks, swallowing as he tears his gaze away from Sebastian’s elegant hand on his bicep, back to his face.

“Thank you,” Sebastian says, giving him a look from under his eyelashes that can only be described as coy. “I really appreciate this, you know.”

Holding Sebastian’s gaze, Chris lifts a hand to cover Sebastian’s with his own, giving it a quick squeeze. “It’s my pleasure,” he replies honestly. “Trust me.”

Smiling, Sebastian bites his lip, no doubt noticing the way Chris’s eyes flicker down to his mouth when he does. “I do.”

Chris’s foolishly romantic heart can’t help but skip a beat.

“See,” Margot says suddenly from beside them, effectively breaking the moment and sounding awfully smug about it, too. “Not prolametic at all.”

Chris barks out a laugh, while Sebastian covers his eyes with his hand. “Whatever you do, never have kids.”  

“I dunno,” Chris chuckles, giving Margot a wink and David’s hair a quick ruffle. “I kinda like yours.”

Sebastian clears his throat. “Alright, kids. Let’s go find your jackets and we’ll go see what Chris has in store for us, huh?”

[marvel-lucy]

'Scuse me just one moment while I scream, jump up and down, and waggle my hands in pleasure 🥰😍🥰😋🥰😍🥰

[marvel-lucy]

I miss the days when I was so in the MCU fandom. Man they were good. I still love the MCU with all my heart, but I can't fixate on everyone living domestically in the Tower like I used to. Sad times.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Hollywood movies: this character wore glasses… now they’re not wearing glasses anymore… they’ve finally become attractive

Fans on the internet: *photoshops glasses on characters* aaaaahhskghkl klklkjh jhgfghj 😭😭😭 dyingng 🥵🤯🥵 why is this so attractive 😩🙃😩 i’m dead lkjhlkl

[marvel-lucy]

This is so 1000% true!

And as a glasses-wearer, why can't it work in real life?! 😭😭

[marvel-lucy]

In the last months I have developed the ability to unfocus my eyes, and mind, when I see WandaVision content. Can I do it for FATWS too? I fear my lack of willpower will overrule my lack of money for Disney+. I can't think why...

[nix-akimbo]

Would you make Frank Adler with glasses?

Soft Frank 😍

[katiew1973]

@feelmyroarrrr

[marvel-lucy]

Holy sweet bejeesus

[marvel-lucy]

Barnes’ Books - chapter 10

I’m sorry. That’s all I’m going to say…

Barnes’ Books masterlist

I wasn’t well, that was true, and so that day I wasn’t up to thinking about Bucky or wondering why he’d come. After he left, I fell asleep again, a much healthier sleep. I’d eaten, drunk, washed, changed. I’d been cared for. It had been a long time since that happened.

I woke up the next morning to a soft warm body curled against mine. It had been a long time since that had happened too. I moved slightly, and the body moved with me. Then it climbed out from under the duvet and stalked off, tail in the air. Can’t have everything. I got out of bed gingerly, expecting to feel terrible, but I didn’t. Not great, but OK. Hungry, a little headachy, but human.  

I followed Steve into the kitchen, to find everything clean, laundered bedding folded on the side, dishes put away. Tidier than I’d left it for a long time. I felt a hot flush of shame at the thought that Bucky had seen how I’d been living. The depression I’d sunk into would leave me staring at dirty crockery, empty wine bottles, unwashed clothes, then just turning away, unable to even begin to deal with anything. While I’d been sleeping, Bucky had obviously been in and taken over. Even as I felt embarrassed, I felt a weight lift from me, that I could start afresh.

Keep reading

[justiceiswater]

Ouch! No! Bucky! Come back!

[marvel-lucy]

♥️ @justiceiswater thank you for all the comments, it means SO much when you see comments popping up because someone is reading every chapter. You made my heart happy! 😘

[marvel-lucy]

Barnes’ Books Masterlist

Angsty fluffy bookshop AU!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11 - the end

AMAZING moodboard by @angryschnauzer who was kind enough to make it and made something so perfect that I can’t believe it <3 (The writing so doesn’t match this awesome pic. Also I want to live in this pic please!)

[literate-lamb]

😭👏🏽👏🏽

I know you rarely go on tumblr anymore but just wanted you to know this piece of fiction tore my heart into two and stapled it back again. It carries the same amount of sadness and melancholia that makes it so bittersweet. Naming every cat they owned Steve after James I’s friend that didn’t make it? I really wondered what happened to Nat too :((

Three generations of Jameses. Loved how you took our lovable James Barnes and took the liberty to split him into three characters with their own unique personalities. I love that there was no ‘villain’ in this and how the reader/oc recognized that. This was a joy to read!

[marvel-lucy]

@literate-lamb 😭😭😭 you made my day! Thank you for saying such nice things, this story is dear to my heart (I mean, cars, books, Bucky, that's The Dream, right!), but the fact you found it and read it so long after I wrote it, and then I made a random trip to Tumblr and saw this, and... genuinely made me just grin with happy!

Have a lovely day/night, depending on your time zone, and thank you! ♥️♥️

[musette22]

Are we gonna talk about the moment when Chris boob slapped Seb in the middle of a press conference and then immediately ended up putting that same hand under his own ass? If I had money, I would pay a body language expert to analyze this because this is NOT normal behavior lmao

This whole panel was a goldmine of body language tbh... that chest slap after which Chris tucked his hand under his ass was definitely interesting, as was the wink he threw in Seb's direction, and of course the 'hair incident', plus Sebastian's, Mackie's and RFJ's reaction to that moment... Maybe we should all pool our money together and get an expert to analyse it all like you said - then again, they'd probably just tell us what we already know 😉

[marvel-lucy]

What? what?! all these years of my obsession and I've never seen That Wink before!? WHAT?! The final gifs are too small on my phone to make out the reactions and that's probably just as well because my mind is blown anyway 🤣😲

[love-buckybarnes]

I’m gonna try and say off of Tumblr till I see WandaVision

[marvel-lucy]

I cant afford Disney + at the mo so Tumblr is basically a lot of very fast scrolling to avoid Wandavision 😁