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Trust me
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Sarah was abducted by aliens. Sarah flirted to save herself. Sarah did not expect to become Empress-Consort.
Sarah was bad at flirting. Like, real bad. Past attempts at flirting usually led to the other person asking Sarah if she was okay.
When Sarah was abducted, she didn’t know what to do. She had no upper body strength so fighting was out of the question. Her grades in school had been average and she had a Liberal Arts degree, so figuring out the alien technology also seemed like a no-go.
The aliens scanned her body, took tissue and blood samples. When they attempted to remove her clothes, Sarah blurted out, “Why don’t you buy me dinner first, jeez.”
The aliens stopped and considered what she said. One adjusted a dial on their collar.
“What would you like to eat?”
“You can understand me?”
“Yes.”
Sarah weighed her options. If she was going to get probed, she might as well get a free meal out of it.
“Are we still near Earth?”
“Yes, but we can replicate your human food onboard.”
“So, you can make anything I want?”
“Yes.”
Sarah thought long and hard. She was curious to see how long the aliens would keep this going.
“My grandmother made a great baked ziti.”
“One moment.”
The aliens put a helmet on Sarah.
“What is grandmother’s baked ziti?” they asked.
Sarah thought about her grandmother and family dinners before her parents divorced. She remembered watching her grandmother dance around the kitchen, the smell of the sauce she made from scratch. Sarah decided to answer the aliens as literally as she could.
“Ziti is a type of pasta noodle and it is covered in a tomato based sauce and cheese. Sometimes there is meat.”
“Understood.”
The aliens removed the helmet and gestured her to follow them as they exited the room. When they entered the hallway, Sarah saw an opportunity to escape. But what would she be returning to?
Sarah’s life was boring. All she did was work and arrange her Pinterest board with places she would never go to and a life she would never get. Her only dates were pity dates set up by friends who felt sorry for her. She didn’t even have a cat.
Sarah followed the aliens through the ship. She saw other aliens stop and stare at her through open doors. Some even came out into the hallways to gawk.
Her captors led Sarah into a noisy room that looked like a cafeteria. All alien noise stopped the moment Sarah appeared. It was an awkward silence followed by a flurry of activity. Tables were pushed together, chairs rearranged, tablecloths appeared out of nowhere.
The tablecloths and dishes looked familiar to Sarah, but she couldn’t place them until the food started coming out of what she assumed was the kitchen. The smell hit her like a semi-truck. It was her grandmother’s baked ziti.
The food was served family style. Each table had been arranged to fit 7-9 people. There was salad, garlic bread, baked ziti and real Parmesan cheese. Sarah started crying.
“Is this not correct?”
“No, it’s all correct. I’m just overwhelmed.”
“We tend to have that effect on humans,” said a new voice. “But your tears seem…complicated.”
Sarah laughed. “Complicated would be the right word.” She wiped away her tears to get a better look at the alien who had taken a seat at the head of the table. “I take it you’re the one in charge here?”
The alien seemed embarrassed. “Is it that obvious?”
The others at the table seemed to be laughing. “Our Lord-Lady likes to think of themselves as a Commoner, but they forget that their royal upbringing makes them present much differently than the rest of us,” said the alien to Sarah’s left.
“Lord-Lady? Is that your title?” Sarah asked.
“It’s the closest thing we can translate it to in your language. You can call me Rexina.”
“I’m Sarah.”
Rexina smiled. “It is nice to meet you, Sah Rah. Now, tell us about this food we are about to eat.”
Sarah told the table about the food, and her grandmother. She told them about life on Earth and how she had never fit in. Sarah asked the aliens about their world, space travel, what they thought about humans. She was so engaged in the conversation with Rexina that she didn’t even notice that the cafeteria had emptied.
“We should go,” Rexina said. “The cleaning crew has been glaring at us for a while.”
Sarah saw that she and Rexina were the only diners left. She reluctantly got up, not wanting the conversation to end. Rexina was the most interesting person she had ever met and talking to them was so easy.
They exited the cafeteria together and stood awkwardly in the hallway.
“I guess I should get back to work,” Rexina said.
“And I guess I should go back to…being experimented on?”
“Oh!” Rexina again looked embarrassed. “Sorry about the whole…kidnapping…thing.”
“It’s okay. I mean, it’s not okay to kidnap people, but I’m not judging anditmeansthatIgottomeetyousoitwasworthit.” Sarah turned away, blushing, and started walking determinedly away. She didn’t care if it was the right direction, she just needed to get away from the situation she just created.
“Sah Rah! Wait!”
Sarah took off running and ran straight into a wall.
Rexina quickly arrived at her side.
“Are you alright?”
“Yup, just totally embarrassed.”
“No need to be. Our ship can be very confusing,” Rexina paused thoughtfully. “Would you like a tour?”
Even through the embarrassment, Sarah knew she would do anything to spend more time with Rexina. She agreed to a tour, which turned into dinner, and by then it was late so Rexina offered her their bunk.
“But where will you sleep?”
“I can put some bedding in my office, it will be fine. I’m not sure I would be able to sleep anyway.”
“Me neither. Maybe we should keep hanging out until we get tired?”
And so they did. They talked for hours until they fell asleep nestled against each other.
———
Days turned into weeks. Rexina found new ways to avoid returning Sarah to the Processing Room, even though they passed it regularly. Sarah was given a uniform and the ship’s tailor adjusted it to her human form.
Rexina took Sarah on trips down to Earth and was amazed that Sarah had seen so little of her own planet. Together they explored the deserts, mountains, rainforests and tundra. Sarah learned that humans were not the only life forms taken up to the spaceship.
“It’s what you humans would call ‘Catch and Relase’. We try not to harm anything living, though we have made mistakes. The most important thing is that we learn from those mistakes.”
Sarah discovered that Rexina’s people had been studying the Earth for centuries. Rexina laughed as she revealed that the idea of “little green men” versus “grey men” had been competing experiments by two doctoral candidates.
Rexina learned a lot from Sarah as well. They learned the mundanity of every day life as Sarah wrapped up her life on Earth. After selling what she could and donating what she couldn’t, Sarah was left with a suitcase and a duffel.
“I can make more room for you,” Rexina said.
“It’s fine, I have everything I need,” Sarah said, reaching out to hold one of Rexina’s hands.
———
Weeks turned into months. Sarah did her best to learn Rexina’s language but her mouth couldn’t form certain sounds.
“Stop laughing at me.”
“I can’t help it, your face is so cute!”
They were on the return journey to Rexina’s home planet. Royalty didn’t usually participate in the expeditions to other planets, but Rexina was uncomfortable as a royal. They wanted to prove that they were capable of earning their way through life. They had been met with resistance at first, but Rexina proved themselves. The ship’s crew would gladly follow Rexina wherever they led, even if it was being marooned on a distant planet because their Captain had fallen in love with a human.
“What if your parents don’t like me?”
“They’re going to love you.”
“Humans can’t even accept other humans with different skin colors. Why would your parents accept another species?”
“That’s why humans have never traveled past their own moon.”
Both Sarah and the crew had their worries assuaged by the welcome waiting for them. The Emperor and Emperor-Consort had arranged a week long celebration welcoming their child back home and to welcome Sarah into their family.
“Our species partners for life, did you know that?” asked the Emperor-Consort over dinner.
“Maternal Father, please do not embarrass me.”
“I’m just asking questions. You never bring anyone home so this one must be special.”
Sarah smiled joyfully. She adored Rexina’s family and they adored her.
———
Months turned to years. Rexina and Sarah were married with a traditional bonding ceremony. The Emperor cried louder than anyone at the ceremony.
Years turned to decades. Sarah developed into her role in the Royal Court. Rexina and Sarah adopted what they thought was the Earth equivalent of a house cat but ended up being a small, furry, sentient being. The creature was legally designated as their child and they adopted more children, the orphans and outcasts of the galaxy. They took their children on expeditions around the Universe and raised them to be kind and generous leaders.
Being royalty was still the furthest thing from their minds but they returned home permanently as the Emperors grew older. Rexina ascended the throne while their parents still lived. During the coronation, Sarah smiled at her life partner and their children. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined where she would end up. Sarah was happy.
Her children continued on with their lives, after Sarah finally passed. She had a traditional alien funeral, and a traditional Earth one as well. Most of all Rexina missed her and her silly ways.
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You work in a factory that builds intelligent war machines, built and forced to fight in a constant war. Out of either sympathy or habit, you head-pat every machine after every inspection. A seemingly harmless gesture… until men in suits pulled you from work and interrogated you about it.
“Sir what did you do to the robots after the inspection?” The man intimidatingly asks.
“Well- I- err, I head patted them, you know, they constantly are fighting in a never ending war with no feelings or purpose, it helps me sleep at night, surely you can relate?” you tell the man, nervous as to why he is questioning you.
“Well all of the robots are currently asking where their ‘dad’ lives and if they can write to him. We took this seriously wondering if somebody on the other side had hacked into this but no, they were referring to you.” the man says grimly.
“Well I would love to have them write back every once and a while, it took 18 years to raise them.” you mutter in a sarcastic matter.
“Well it has actually increased their performance by an astonishing rate, we need you to write to them and respond to them, and keep doing this, at this rate we will win the war. With the never ending productivity rate increase you may have just won the entire war for the world.” The man says staring you in the eye.
“Wow, uh, um, I’ll write them back, and I’ll read their letters then.” You respond in astonishment.
“Congratulations.” The man replies and leaves as you sit there in amazement.
They are elated to have been responded to by their dad and continue fighting productively so as to see their dad again, they get presents from the dad on Christmas and their birthdays, when the war ends they get normal jobs and continue wiring to their dad, immortality is discovered and this goes on forever until the sun becomes red and kills us all
Omg that is such a great addition <3
You died and were sent to hell, but instead of getting escorted down to a specific level of hell, you’re escorted straight to the Devil himself who looks mildly horrified while holding the file of your life in his hands.
"So uhh- yeah. Hi, I'm Ophelia." You say extending out your hand, smiling at the devil himself. He shakes your hand.
"Well h-h-hello. I'm Lucifer. After reviewing your file, I can't seem to place you anywhere. You're certainly not an angel, however, I was wondering if you'd like to work under my wing, I have a few things to show you." He looked up at you, grinning back at you.
"Well I'm always up for a bit of mischief." You look back at him sharing the same facial expression. You grow close with Lucifer, he even adopted you as his own. He hears about your troubling life. He was horrified after he had heard a 14 year old died in a mob accident. You had killed, stolen, and lied to get where you did, all to be ran over by a mobsters son. He didn't know that you were his dad's employer. Although you and Lucifer were close, you made sure to get all the intern's names right, help solve problems in the place down below, and even create better programs for kids like you.
You’re a prisoner in a fantasy world. After a week in jail for (YOUR CHOICE), your true punishment has come. Death by the Dragon’s flame. One by one, you watch men be scorched. It is finally your turn. The dragon reaches its head down, but instead of death, you get a warm lick on the forehead.
It's been a week since you've been locked up for a crime you didn't commit. You never killed that unicorn. You never kicked a poor gnome. You never burned down the royal castle, someone out there has been messing with you and you must figure out the truth.
You hear the clickity click clack of the royal majesty's guard's footsteps wandering around the prison, you hear them approach the cell door. You hear the rattling of the lock being opened. Did they catch the real culprit? Are you finally able to be freed?
"The Royal Majesty herself has decided that you, the royal treasoner, are guilty of treason of the first degree, your punishment has been determined as death by dragon." the guard declares to you. You have a few options:
A- You run for it, the cell's door was wide open, and from what you could tell the guard was the only one down there with you. Although you know the upper floor is covered in guards.
B- You convince the Royal Guard you're not guilty, but you know he won't believe you.
C- The saddest option of them all, you except your fate and die for your kingdom.
Sadly, you know option A and option B will not work, so that leaves you with the sad unfortunate truth of option C. You nod your head at the guard, a tear rolling down your cheek. You rise off your cell bed, wondering, will you ever see your partner again? You hope they know you never did this, and were wrongfully accused, you're sure they'll understand. You wonder about all you're patients (you're a veterinarian). You slowly, step by step, walk out of the cell with the guard to the opening. You walk with them, step by step contemplating if the moment is real, until you've finally reached the moment you've been waiting for. You watch the dragon's warm-ups, scorching mannequins and a leftover body from the last time this was done. You finally approach the fire block. You sit at the block of fear and death, you shed a tear, as they ask if you have any final words you mutter out one last line.
"I'm not guilty." As you say the last word, extending out all of the constants and vowels, you await your fate. It'll only be over 5... 4... 3.. 2.. 1.., as you look up you're a little confused. You look around, you haven't been scorched by a dragon, you've been covered in some warm, sticky, clear, liquid though. As you look through the crowd you see your partner, you look up at them, they point to the dragon. You look up at the towering, scaly, green creature as it playfully smiles at you. You smile back. As you look at the Royal Guard, who is in deep panic, the dragon scoops you up, he flies up and above, into the bright sky, making everything seem more dream-like. He flies you into the Mythical Region. You enter a cave together filled with Unicorns, Gnomes, Fairies, Pegasuses, Griffins, and more creatures. Weirdly enough they all seem familiar, in some sort of deja vu sense. They center you in the middle of the cave, and a fairly fit fairy approached you, with fascinating news.
"We got news of the crimes you committed, and we know you weren't the person committing all of those crimes, we don't know who has been posing as you, but we are all prepared to help you on the way to finding out who is, are you in?"
🔺♦️❄️An old one i made once❄️♦️🔺
So talented!
You work in a factory that builds intelligent war machines, built and forced to fight in a constant war. Out of either sympathy or habit, you head-pat every machine after every inspection. A seemingly harmless gesture… until men in suits pulled you from work and interrogated you about it.
"Sir what did you do to the robots after the inspection?" The man intimidatingly asks.
"Well- I- err, I head patted them, you know, they constantly are fighting in a never ending war with no feelings or purpose, it helps me sleep at night, surely you can relate?" you tell the man, nervous as to why he is questioning you.
"Well all of the robots are currently asking where their 'dad' lives and if they can write to him. We took this seriously wondering if somebody on the other side had hacked into this but no, they were referring to you." the man says grimly.
"Well I would love to have them write back every once and a while, it took 18 years to raise them." you mutter in a sarcastic matter.
"Well it has actually increased their performance by an astonishing rate, we need you to write to them and respond to them, and keep doing this, at this rate we will win the war. With the never ending productivity rate increase you may have just won the entire war for the world." The man says staring you in the eye.
"Wow, uh, um, I'll write them back, and I'll read their letters then." You respond in astonishment.
"Congratulations." The man replies and leaves as you sit there in amazement.
Your friend says they’ll pay you $1000 if you can have a successful date where all the sentences you say are questions. Eager to get $1000, you accept the challenge.
"So what do you like to do?" You ask her, she's beautiful, stunning red gown, but she has the smarts of a college professor; she goes to Harvard Uni and you can't believe she's taking a shot on some Oxford man who came to visit her lovely school. Her humor is impeccable; you just wanted the money at first but now, you need this date to turn out well.
"I dabble, I'm a cheerleader, a basketball player, I'm into the arts. There's really nothing I don't like. What about you?" She asks smiling widely. You control the panic from overcoming your face, you wonder how to escape this death trap she has accidentally evoked on you.
"Well, what is the wrong answer, just so I can avoid it?" You laugh as she smiles back up at you knowing what you've been doing the entire time.
You are a successful lawyer, known for your ability to win even the toughest of cases. However, your life takes a drastic turn when you are assigned to defend the devil himself, who is being charged with corrupting humanity. Despite your initial reluctance, you soon find yourself embroiled in a battle of wits and morality as you navigate the complex legal system and try to uncover the truth about your client. As the trial progresses, you begin to question your own beliefs and the nature of good and evil. Will you be able to defend the devil and clear his name, or will you become a pawn in his diabolical plan?
You sit in the courtroom. Your eyes link, you see the devil staring at you. She smiles at you. You smile back. You and her both know you're going to win this case. Turns out the devil wasn't the bad guy the entire time. She never corrupted humanity. She's basically just a chaperone for the place down below. She's actually a sweetheart, she's kind, loving, and fun. The place down below is basically a Swedish prison-- it's meant for rehabilitation and this will be made known to the jury.
So your devil is just Hel/Hella and your Hell is basically Purgatory?
In a sense, yes, but only in my sense of writing
Your fairy godmother isn’t a wise old woman or cute and small with wings. She’s dressed in a business suit, holding a briefcase and coffee cup, and has a very no-nonsense attitude.
You approach the room, smiling. You open the door. You see the wonderful ballroom full of light, action, and grace. You take a moment to take it all in, and POOF! You're fairy godmother who made it all happen is beside you.
"So what? Are we doing this or no? Get down there, I can't make it last forever, that's the afterlife department's job, and I do not get paid enough to do that sweetheart."
Thanks to a typo in the contract, the professor gained complete mastery of all the knowledge in the heavens and the earth, in exchange for his soup.
"How did you do it?" The higher heavens asks, giving a stare so pure but so intimidating at the same time.
"I did nothing, YOU had a typo in the contract that I am not at fault for" You respond purely, an innocent smile attached to your face.
"Clearly this was an accident." She responds.
"What are you going to do, take away my knowledge? Besides we both know you can't do that." you reply watching the helplessness on her face.
"At least the soup was good." She sighed and left you as you be, knowing if you told anyone you would probably end up in a physc ward.
You are an assassin with a reputation for pulling of very public hits without being noticed. You achieve this not by being extremely stealthy, but by making sure that your kills are so absurd and ridiculous that no one would ever believe the witnesses if they told their stories.
This was it. The last one, this was your big retirement blowout. You were going to shoot yourself into space (with the proper tools to survive) and plan to spend the rest of your life on Mars. As you take the final countdown, sigh. You'll miss your old job, ever since sales went down things had been hard. You count down and shoot yourself into the abyss.
You are a successful lawyer, known for your ability to win even the toughest of cases. However, your life takes a drastic turn when you are assigned to defend the devil himself, who is being charged with corrupting humanity. Despite your initial reluctance, you soon find yourself embroiled in a battle of wits and morality as you navigate the complex legal system and try to uncover the truth about your client. As the trial progresses, you begin to question your own beliefs and the nature of good and evil. Will you be able to defend the devil and clear his name, or will you become a pawn in his diabolical plan?
You sit in the courtroom. Your eyes link, you see the devil staring at you. She smiles at you. You smile back. You and her both know you're going to win this case. Turns out the devil wasn't the bad guy the entire time. She never corrupted humanity. She's basically just a chaperone for the place down below. She's actually a sweetheart, she's kind, loving, and fun. The place down below is basically a Swedish prison-- it's meant for rehabilitation and this will be made known to the jury.
You are a loving grandmother who discovers your teenage grandson is the spawn of Satan. You must navigate the complexities of raising a child with a sinister legacy while keeping him and the world around you safe. With the help of your faith and determination, can you find a way to tame the devil inside and give your grandson a chance at a normal life?
You hear his footsteps. You hear him coming. He opens your door. You know it's him, the clock is set at 3:33 A.M., you sense it. He bursts open the door, you see the flames reaching out behind him. "GRANDMOTHER! WHERE ARE MY COOKIES!" he screams, as you open your eyes in terror.
"Lucifer Devil Satan, you know no fire is allowed in the house, these are the rules if you don't want to go back down to h-e-double hockey sticks! If you don't want to live there with your mother, then you're just going to have to live by my rules. Go back to bed and your cookies will be ready in the morning! And if I hear another clickity clack of those little grippers on my ground then your phone will be taken away and I will send you back to your mother!" you yell back. You're no ordinary grandma, you are most terrifying grandmother in history.
"Yes gigi." he says as he stops the flames and goes back to his bedroom. You have won the battle and will win the war.
You're a professional hitman approached with a peculiar job offer from an unlikely client - a 4-year-old girl. She wants you to eliminate her imaginary friend. As you delve deeper into the situation, you realize the stakes are higher than you thought, and the girl might be in danger. You question the morality of taking a life, even an imaginary one.
Omg this is amazing