restless grace

gold  heart   /    soft   •    always  too  soft. elena marlowe written by jana

[marvoile]

"gods, that was strange to see you again." - rufus

------  sent  by  @poensoror​

she was still not sure what to make of him,  after so many years,  and it hurt.  it was not the kind of hurt that had taken hold of her a few years ago when she had realised that  ( not for the first time )  brigid had fallen off the face of the earth without as much as a note because with brigid,  there was always the knowledge that no matter how far she strayed,  no matter how far she ran on her own,  she would be back  ---  maybe with a new haircut or a fresh accent,  but fundamentally unchanged.

maybe because for all their closeness,  brigid was not her sister.  maybe because there was a certain layer of sadness that elena could only touch when she thought about her family  ---  of those who were long gone and of the one who was standing in front of her.  the dead and the forgiven,  she might call them if she felt poetic about this,  but she was not sure about her own feelings,  not right now.  she would figure them out later,  she decided,  when she met up with frédéric and they would do their weekly workout together.  that tended to clear her head.

‘ ‘ it is indeed strange to see you here,  in one of my favourite cafés of all places,  yes. ’ ’  she nodded as she tugged on her sleeve,  her eyes avoiding his.  there was no manual for this,  nothing to outline how one had to act after meeting one’s brother after centuries  ( after having been accidentally killed by said brother );  it was a fact she had bemoaned before and that she would continue to whine about until the awkwardness had subsided,  something she did not think would happen anytime soon.  ‘ ‘ but  ---  rufus,  we can be adults about this,  right?  i just came to this city and  . . .  i’d like to stay for a while.  a lot of my friends are here. ’ ’

* SET YOURSELF ON FIRE.

[marvoile]

"if there is a scandal, i shall uncover it." - dion

------  sent  by  @athensborn​

sinking deeper into her chair,  elena sighed.  odalis’ court was much bigger than what she was used to from home, and it was not surprising at all that there were more scandals.  if anything,  it seemed like the logical consequence of so many nobles and so many different interests colliding --- it seemed entirely impossible for her that a place like this could possibly exist without stabbed backs and,  as dion was theorising,  scandals.  now,  elena was the one of the last to put a dagger into a fellow noblewoman’s back,  but even she was curious.

in her --- admittedly limited --- experience on the chessboard of court politics,  it paid off to know what motivated the other players.  and she was not  in the same position as her peer from mazarine;  princess brigid was in odalis to scout for a potential sister-in-law and to wrap up negotiations,  elena was somewhat looking for a husband,  not that she was in a hurry to wed.  but it meant that while brigid would huff at the notion of gossip,  elena was more inclined to listen to it  . . .  if only because it was a diversion between events.

‘ ‘ there is surely a scandal at play in all of this, ’ ’  she responded as she reached for the small silver bowl between them,  retrieving another silver-wrapped piece of candy.  ‘ ‘ i am admittedly less familiar with your countrymen than you are,  but i am not blind. ’ ’

from afar,  she had seen how the older princesses and their retinue had closed ranks around the youngest not long after elena’s own guard had received another security briefing.  and of course, one could question what had truly happened first,  but she had not chosen to question princess eleanor when they had had tea the other day --- there were good decisions and there was the decision to bug someone who was already tense.

pouring them both a fresh cup of tea,  elena smiled at her guest and lowered her voice to a near conspiratorial whisper.  ‘ ‘ that being said,  my friend, ’ ’  she continued as she offered him the sugar bowl and the other with the lemon slices, ‘ ‘ i was hoping that you might be able to put me in contact with princess eleanor?  i know she is a good friend of yours,  and i vow that i have no intentions of embarrassing her,  but i wasn’t able to secure a meeting with her or her father since my arrival and i do have several trade propositions for them from my father. ’ ’

* BRIDGERTON.

[casiopea55]

[marvoile]

"i’m not sorry i met you." - dion

------  sent  by  @athensborn

elena had channeled brigid,  possibly to a nearly unhealthy degree when she had decided that she would be honest about what had occurred.  transparency was important,  nobody had to tell her that,  but there was a difference between being clear about her process when it came to work and openly talking about gaius.  rufus.  it was almost enough to send her into hysterics,  but she breathed through it. 

‘ ‘ well, ’ ’  she said,  painting her words with all nonchalance she was capable of  ( and it was a lot,  she was good at pretending that she was not affected by something that should affect her ),  ‘ ‘ that does set my mind at ease.  i told you to avoid potential . . . awkwardness. ’ ’

she wished,  she realised absentmindedly,  that frédéric would be around to cheer her up with his easy-going nature,  but her best friend was at work.  and he might think about ga--- rufus far less kindly than she did.  she would talk to him later,  but she would probably not tell him where to find her brother . . . otherwise,  frédéric would drop in on him for a surprise visit.   a surprise visit that would probably involve a lot of french cursing.  freddie was the protective sort.  and the sort to jump into the fray at the drop of a hat,  especially if there was nobody around who would seek to tell him to calm down.

clapping her hands,  she took her last sip of coffee and sighed softly.  ‘ ‘ it will be all quite right,  i’m certain, ’ ’ she said,  more to convince herself than to convince dion.  ‘ ‘ clearly,  he and i have centuries of experience in avoiding each other. ’ ’

* SET YOURSELF ON FIRE.

[marvoile]

anemone, magnolia (you know why i picked this one), zinnia (once more...you know why)

------ sent by @poensoror

anemone :   how does your muse view the world ;   as a cruel   &   unforgiving place ,   a land full of wonders ,   or something in - between ? where does that world view come from   (   what experiences ,   life lessons ,   etc .   ) ?  

over the course of her life,  elena has come to think of the world as a complicated,  curious place.  she has seen too much of the bad to be a wide-eyed idealist,  but she has also seen a lot of the enduring,  stubborn goodness in others.  as far as she is concerned,  to a certain degree,  the world is what she makes it.  she is privileged and single enough that she can shape her experience by making decisions of her own,  by making friends and by cutting ties,  by moving cities every few years . . . and she takes advantage of this.

magnolia :   describe your muse’s relationship with nature   &   the natural world .  

one cannot have been struck by lightning as often as elena was and not have some sort of relationship to the natural world.  it is harmonic --- she aims to live sustainably,  she tries not to kill any of the plants in her apartment  ( they are usually gifts from polite colleagues,  her friends have other ideas about what she might like )  and she does her best to live with nature rather than against it because she has been around for enough natural disasters to know that nature can very destructive.  she is still glad she did not make that trip to pompeii all those years ago.

zinnia :   how has the loss of fallen comrades and/or loved ones affected your muse ?   has it taught them anything or given them any new perspectives ?

the first person elena has lost --- truly lost --- was her younger brother.  it is something she has not spoken of frequently,  not even with her friends who know almost everything else there is to know about her,  but the incident between her and rufus has become something that she has buried deep. in this matter,  age brought wisdom.  eventually,  she forgave him for giving her the shove,  even if she has not forgiven herself for how she has handled the aftermath.  the realisation that rufus,  like her,  is still around in the 21st century was one she was not prepared for.  it is a lot.  not enough for her to step back from the lessons she has drawn from the incident,  but enough for her to require time to deal with this.

* BOTANICAL HEADCANONS.

[promptfairy]

❥     𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒    [   𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃𝚂    ]   .

headcanon prompts with questions based on plants   &   what they represent in flower language .  happy roleplaying !!  ♡

abatina :   is there anything in life your muse has changed their mind about over time   (   due to becoming more educated on the topic ,   certain experiences  ,   etc .   ) ,    or that they   would   change their mind about under certain circumstances ?  

acanthus :   is your muse deceptive ,   or willing to lie or deceive to achieve certain means ?   why or why not ?   

aloe :   how does your muse handle grief ?

amaryllis :   what is something or someone that your muse takes pride in ?   how do they express that pride ?   

anemone :   how does your muse view the world ;   as a cruel   &   unforgiving place ,   a land full of wonders ,   or something in - between ?  where does that world view come from   (   what experiences ,   life lessons ,   etc .   ) ?  

angelica :   where does your muse draw inspiration in life ?   what motivates them ?

apple blossom :   how does your muse go about expressing or not expressing their sexuality ?  

bachelor’s button :   does your muse actively seek romantic companionship ,   or cherish the liberties of being single ? 

basil :   does your muse have a love - hate relationship with anyone or anything ?

bay tree :   does your muse seek glory   &   accolades ,   or do they favour a simpler ,   more personal life ?  

begonia :   how cautious is your muse ?   are they prone to noticing red flags ,   or paranoid to the point of untrusting most everyone ?   why or why not ?  

belladonna :   how does your muse respond to silence ?   do they take comfort in soundlessness ,   or seek to fill the void with noise ?   

bluebell :   does your muse learn from their past ,   or are they prone to repeating the same mistakes ?  

carnation :   what is your muse’s relationship with their gender ?   how do they express or not express this relationship ?  

chamomile :   what is your muse likely to take away from a painful experience ?   are they one to be haunted by adversity ,   or to use what they’ve gone through to become stronger ?  

chrysanthemum :   how does your muse express romantic love ?  how do they feel about love as a concept ?  

daffodil :   is your muse one to be loyal in relationships ,   or are they likely to quickly move from one bond to another ?

daisy :   did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost ?   what moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence ?  

edelweiss :   what was the bravest moment in your muse’s life ?  are they known to be courageous from then on ?  

fern :   does your muse believe in magic or cosmic forces ,   or are they more likely to think their life is ultimately a matter of their own control ?  

forget - me - not :   has your muse ever forgotten something that is or was important to them ?   are they afraid of forgetting things like that ?  

gardenia :   is your muse one to confess romantic feelings early on ,   or to conceal them for long periods of time ?  

gladiolus :   describe a moment from your muse’s life that they will never forget .

goldenrod :   does your muse believe in luck or fortune ?  why or why not ?   where do they believe these things come from ?  

heliotrope :   does your muse believe in soulmates ?

hibiscus :   how does your muse view the gentler ,   daintier things in life ?   as things worth preserving   &   caring for ,   or things only bound to wither   &   disappear ?  

holly :   how strong is your muse’s sense of intuition ?  are they aware of it ?   do they ever fear that it is only paranoia ?  

hollyhock :   how strong is your muse’s sense of ambition ?  what’s something they strive for in life ?  

hyacinth :   is your muse athletic ?   does it come naturally to them ,   or have they had to work for their physique and/or skill ?  

hydrangea :   how much does your muse value communication in their relationships with others ?  are they prone to being misunderstood ?

iris :   if your muse could convey one last message to someone they have lost or left behind ,   what would it be ?  

ivy :   what are your muse’s views on marriage ?   do they believe it is something strictly for love ,   or an institution rooted in business   &   social benefits ?   do they desire or have they desired to be married ?

lavender :   how easy is it to gain your muse’s trust ?  once their trust is broken ,   how might one go about mending it ?  

lilac :   what was your muse’s childhood like ?   how has their upbringing affected them as they’ve aged ? 

lily :   how does your muse view their mother ?  

lotus :   has your muse ever felt as though they’ve been reborn ?  have they ever desired the feeling of a fresh start ,   or a better understanding of themself and/or the world around them ?  

magnolia :   describe your muse’s relationship with nature   &   the natural world .  

marigold :   is your muse prone to jealousy ?  how might they handle envious feelings ?  

mint :   does your muse view themself as virtuous   &   moral ?  what do these words mean to them ?

nasturtium :   describe your muse’s relationship with their birthplace ,   or homeland .  

oak :   who would your muse consider the strongest person they know ?  

pansy :   does your muse often reflect on their own actions ?   do they ever think a lot about the past ,   and what they could have done differently ?

parsley :   describe a holiday your muse enjoys ,   and why they enjoy it .

peony :   what would a   ‘  happy life  ’   look like in your muse’s eyes ?

poppy :   what comforts your muse ?

rhododendron :   is your muse receptive to warnings   &   advice given by others ?

rose :   how much does your muse value other people ?   do they wish to have many friends ,   lovers ,   and/or associates ?   are they an easy person to love ?

sage :   what is your muse’s legacy ?   what do they want to be remembered for   &   what might they actually be remembered for ?  

salvia :   is your muse possessive over people or things that matter a lot to them ?  how do they express that possessiveness ,   or lack thereof ? 

snapdragon :   is your muse merciful ?  why or why not ?

southernwood :   how seriously does your muse take themself ?   do they prefer a solemn   &   intellectual atmosphere or do they delight in jokes   &   banter ?  

sunflower :   what brings your muse the most joy in life ?  

tulip :   how does your muse view people in general ?  

violet :   how does your muse respond to betrayal ?

willow :   how does your muse handle sadness   &   depression ?

zinnia :   how has the loss of fallen comrades and/or loved ones affected your muse ?   has it taught them anything or given them any new perspectives ?

[persephonememes]

* (  𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍 /  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.

These may have been edited for clarity or length or to better apply for roleplaying.

do it. be bold.

we must continue our ruse until i’ve found my match.

me, unavailable; you, desirable.

i trusted you more than anyone in this world, and you took advantage.

you do not know me, but i know you.

you have no idea what it is to have one’s entire life reduced to a single moment.

is this not lovely? all of us together again.

an expert in the art of the swoon.

i wish to be entertained.

it would be better if you refrain from thinking about me at all.

lovely indeed. we should tempt scandal more often.

the social season is upon us.

your love is an unrequited fantasy.

i cannot stop thinking of you.

i am anything but interested in you.

it is more than just your honor at stake.

i write in my diary which is not the same as writing in my novel.

a pairing like that would be most enchanting indeed.

the season’s diamond, even more precious and rare a stone than previously thought?

stare into my eyes.

is it awful that i’m enjoying it?

if you desire the sun and the moon, all you have to do is go out and shoot at the sky.

we could pretend to form an attachment.

if there is a scandal, i shall uncover it.

must our only options be to squawk and settle or to never leave the nest?

all is fair in love and war.

there is nothing you cannot do.

my honor is not for sale.

if this is to work, we must appear madly in love.

i’m aware of your reputation.

do not tell me that is another scandal sheet.

you’ve always amused me.

we find ourselves seated next to each other. i’d think you’d be happy about that.

marriage has it joys, but it also brings with it its special trials.

it’d be better if you refrain from thinking about me at all.

you do not know me, and never shall.

you do not humiliate the one you love. 

i’m aware of your reputation and i am anything but interested in you.

what if i want to fly?

the ones we love have the power to inflict the greatest scars.

every presumptuous mother in town will leave me alone and every suitor will be looking at you.

you do not trick the one you love.

if you desire the sun and the moon, all you have to do is go out and shoot at the sky.

let it be known that if there is a scandal, i shall uncover it.

you think that just because i’m a woman, i’m incapable of making my own choices?

love, conquers all.

you can choose to love me as much as i love you.

i am tired of pretending.

from the mornings you ease, to the evenings you quiet, to the dreams you inhabit my thoughts of you never end.

i cannot continue acting as if i do not love you. because i do.

i love all of you.

i cannot be your fool again.

the brighter a lady shines, the faster she may burn.

we chose to love each other every single day.

pride, it will cost you everything and leave you with nothing.

i am looking out for myself.

you don’t deserve to breathe the same air as her.

you must simply marry the man who feels like your dearest friend.

i am ensuring my own future. because i know in my heart i know that there is no one else who ever will.

you do not lie to the one you love.

to meet a beautiful woman is one thing, but to meet your best friend in the most beautiful of women is something entirely apart.

circumstances change, ladies. sometimes over night.

her heart is no matter, as long as her hand remains free.

you cannot assure me of everything.

i will always protect you.

i believe i should like to stay.

i believe you should like to go.

what others should ever want such damaged goods now?

you have no idea what it is to be a woman.

you are perfection itself.

what? you don’t love me for my subtlety.

would you rather die than marry me?

i am yours, i have always been yours.

it is you i cannot sacrifice.

i burn for you.

it pains me you should think every compliment a mockery.

i ask you, can the ends ever justify such wretched means?

[trashmemes]

SET YOURSELF ON FIRE SENTENCE STARTERS  —   lyrics pulled from the 2004 album by stars. feel free to make alterations.

god, that was strange to see you again.

yes, i think we’ve met before.

all of that time you thought i was sad, i was trying to remember your name.

i chose to feel it and you couldn’t choose.

live through this and you won’t look back.

there’s one thing i want to say, so i’ll be brave.

you were what i wanted.

i’m not sorry i met you.

i’m not sorry it’s over.

your face is all that hasn’t changed.

all i want is one more chance.

all i want is one more chance to show you you were right for me.

you were right for me.

i had six too many drinks last night.

i always wanted you.

you said you didn’t understand me.

let’s leave them all behind.

they hated us with everything they had, and we hated them in kind.

how could you do it?

yes, i am a ghost.

i loved you the most.

did i build you a prison?

please don’t let me go.

you can’t walk away from me.

i know a place where it’s warm and it’s dry, dear.

let me take you there.

don’t pretend that you don’t feel the pull.

i am trying to say what i want to say without having to say “i love you.”

i love you and it’s impossible to say.

take me like that, ruin it all.

please, my love, please.

i’ll kill who you hate.

take off that dress, you won’t freeze.

the end should be a good one.

outside, it was pouring and we were drunk as shit.

there is nothing like bare mattresses underneath the stairs.

i’ve got to ask you one more thing.

keep doing that forever.

i know, i feel the same way as you.

everyday, it’s changed since then.

in every way, i’ve changed since then.

what gives you the right to fuck with our lives?

keep watching your back.

tomorrow, it’s you and me.

we are here to save your life.

it terrifies you, but it’s real.

if i don’t come back, then i won’t look behind me.

all of the things that i thought were so easy just got harder and harder each day.

stay alive.

i dreamed i was dying.

i can’t live forever.

i’m alive.

[marvoile]

name.  elena iunia marlowe. title.  her highness, princess elena of mavka. alias.  princess of coin age.  25 years old. current locations.  odalis, ianthe  /  bronze autumn, flag ship of the royal fleet. home estate.  the royal palace, on mavka’s biggest island oraid. current position.  first princess of mavka  /  member of the royal council  /  delegate to the assembly of island kingdoms. relationship status.  single.

ever the diligent daughter, elena became her father’s delegate to the islander’s assembly seven years ago and since, her life has been a long stream of meetings and business trips, often leaving her chambers in the royal palace empty for months.  in her father’s council and in the assembly alike, she is part of the many different committees that usually concern themselves with trade deals and budgets, making her an influential figure when it comes to deciding where significant amounts of money are spent each year --- a fact that has not only made her friends.

due to mavka’s uncertain order of inheritance and elena’s travellings, she has been sought after by many suitors ever since she has stepped out of her older brother’s shadows after coming of age, but while she would be amendable to leaving the islands to pursue life elsewhere, she would not marry solely for political reasons.

[katiemcgrath]

Saint-Étienne-du-Mont | Paris, August 2019

[oceanofquartz]

[silken-floss]

abigail spencer as lucy preston in timeless, episode “the watergate tape”

[marvoile]

WHAT IS YOUR UNDERLYING MOTIF ?

the orange.  whether it’s your sweet nature, breakaway cover, or your natural displays of intimacy, you have the undercurrent of the orange. a love language in itself, your nature makes others want to take a bite and enjoy the tang that you leave behind with your laughter. you remind others of a summer day, hot air, long nights, always hopeful you’ll never go away. in her poem “the orange” by wendy cope she said “i peeled it and shared it with robert and dave, they had quarters and i had a half” you’re generous and have much to give. she also said “this is peace and contentment, it’s new” well i say, it’s you.

[holyisthenameofmyruthlessaxe]

The Seeker, And Other Poems; ‘A light above the lake’ by Nelly Sachs tr. Ruth and Matthew Mead

[ID: resurrection already hurts.]

[mossgirl]

Dmitri Pryahin

[amourmemes]

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘.  𝐎𝐃𝐃.   ,    𝐁𝐘  𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂  !  𝐀𝐓  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎  .

lyrics  selectively  chosen  from  panic  !  at  the  disco’s  album  pretty.  odd.  ,  which  happens  to  be  my  favorite  !     customize  /  change  pronouns  as  pleased  !

❛  it’s  just  the  end  of  the  world  .  ❜ ❛  let’s  go  into  a  place  where  thoughts  can  bloom  .  ❜ ❛  i’m  losing  the  feeling  of  feeling  unique  .  ❜ ❛  let’s  go  back  to  the  room  where  it  all  began  .  ❜ ❛  will  you  come  with  me  or  just  leave  me  ?  ❜ ❛  if  they  just  knew  what  we  could  do  .  ❜ ❛  so  it  seems  i’m  someone  i’ve  never  met  .  ❜ ❛  you  will  only  hear  these  elegant  crimes  .  ❜ ❛  you  carry  a  little  piece  with  you  .  ❜ ❛  if  all  our  life  is  but  a  dream  ,  we  should  feed  our  jewelry  to  the  sea  .  ❜ ❛  genius  only  comes  along  in  storms  of  fabled  foreign  tongues  .  ❜ ❛  i  know  the  world’s  a  broken  bone  ,  but  melt  your  headaches  ,  call  it  home  .  ❜ ❛  as  long  as  you  can  make  a  promise  not  to  break  my  little  heart  .  ❜ ❛  give  your  feet  a  chance  ,  they’ll  do  all  the  thinking  .  ❜ ❛  i  was  born  with  curiosity  the  likes  of  those  of  old  crows  .  ❜ ❛  we’re  all  too  smart  to  talk  to  god  .  ❜ ❛  and  if  words  are  just  hollow  birds  ?  ❜ ❛  in  time  we  all  forgot  and  we  all  grew  .  ❜ ❛  your  melody  sounds  as  sweet  as  the  first  time  it  was  sung  .  ❜ ❛  you’ve  never  been  so  divine  in  accepting  your  defeat  .  ❜ ❛  i’ve  never  been  more  scared  to  be  alone  .  ❜ ❛  if  love  is  not  enough  to  put  my  enemies  to  sleep  ,  find  your  own  way  back  home  .  ❜ ❛  when  i  look  in  her  eyes  i  just  see  the  sky  .  ❜ ❛  you  could  love  me  if  i  knew  how  to  lie  .  ❜ ❛  but  who  could  love  me  ?  ❜ ❛  the  sun  was  always  in  her  eyes  ,  she  didn’t  even  see  me  .  ❜ ❛  i’m  sure  i  didn’t  ruin  her  ,  just  made  her  more  interesting  .  ❜ ❛  such  torturous  things  ,  always  chewing  up  the  only  words  i  ever  mean  .  ❜ ❛  all  your  wishes  they  will  sink  like  stones  slowly  down  a  lonely  well  .  ❜ ❛  who  could  ask  for  anymore  ?  who  could  have  more  ?  ❜

[coastandpine]

storm at sea - Isle of Lewis, Scotland