My journey studying with Autism (higher education)
Not sure if this is going to help anyone, but I wanted to share some of my experiences studying with autism (in the Netherlands specifically). I guess I just want to show, even though I'm doing well academically now, there is more to that than just being smart, I had to grow a lot before getting where I am today. Buckle up; it's a long one.
(disclaimer after writing: it doesn't focus a lot on autism explicitly, but it definitely had a lot of influence)
tl;dr: I had a number of struggles, made some decisions, and am doing better now!
First, some context: in the Netherlands, there are several forms of higher education; the ones that are important in my story are Universities of Applied Sciences (or: Higher professional education. HBO in Dutch) and Research Universities (WO in Dutch). As the name implies, a WO focuses on research, thinking analytically and critically. It has higher entry requirements than HBO. It has a relatively high teaching speed and requires a lot of self-study; in general, it is considered a lot harder than HBO. Study programs at an HBO are more practical, and your future profession is a lot clearer from the start (the programs are more specific), and there is more supervision (and, in my experience, group work, though this may vary).
Without getting too much into the Dutch educational system: I followed the 6-year program that would allow me to go to a WO immediately after high school (at the age of 18). I chose to study history and then do a masters to become a high school history teacher. I also started a part-time job in September. I had to travel for a little over an hour to get to class. And... I had no idea I have autism.
I loved it. I loved the academic environment, learning all the new things, and going to classes. At first, things seemed great! Until exams came around.
Even though I had been making my homework passionately, I didn't pass any of the three exams. (Do note that I had to pass 9 out of 12 courses to be allowed to stay in the program, so missing the first 3 already was a big deal).
The student councillor wasn't too worried. He told me to follow a course on study skills (which helped a lot! I do recommend looking into the resources your school offers, I paid maybe 5 euros for 6 sessions of coaching). And he told me that if I was worried about the 9 out of 12 rule (BSA for those familiar with the system), I could unenroll before February and try again next year.
Even though my study skills improved, I didn't have enough time to apply them in the second block, so I also failed those 3 exams (and the resits). I also felt like I needed a break, I was so tired and decided to do as the student councillor had advised: I unenrolled before the start of the 2nd semester.
I spent the next semester putting in a few more hours at that part-time job I mentioned earlier and even got more responsibilities over the summer. I also decided I wanted to move out and live in the city where I was also studying; it'd save me about 3-4 hours of travelling every day. I moved into a little studio that summer. I kept my job in the town I came from.
The first semester went by pretty smoothly! I failed 2 classes but was probably able to pass them during resits. I was tired a lot and spent more time on the part-time job than I wanted, so I quit (maybe the semester didn't go by as smoothly as I remember, lol).
The second semester started in February 2020, and a few weeks in, we went into lockdown. Tbh, the combination of having quit my job and having no obligations besides doing my homework and showing up for online classes was great. It allowed me to rest and focus on my studies (which I was still quite passionate about). (I know a lot of people had a terrible time during lockdowns and had very negative experiences due to covid. I count myself lucky that I didn't). I passed all my classes that year and moved on to the second year (out of three).
I was doing a lot better at this point. I felt capable and even became a student mentor for the upcoming first years (I had to show them around the campus once and just be available to answer basic questions. Because of covid, we had a weekly check-in online).
I also moved to a bigger studio during the first term, it was hectic, but I managed to write the two essays that needed to get done and passed both with a good grade. HOWEVER. My mother had gotten slightly concerned and started wondering if maybe I had autism (like my 2 brothers and both my parents...)(for context: my mother is a kind of social worker who specialised in autism, so she was making a VERY educated guess) because little things seemed to stress me out much more than is considered 'normal'.
The second term was terrible. I had no idea how I was supposed to write my essay, and the teaching style did not at all match my study style. I spoke to the student councillor again and cut down on the workload. At the end of the first semester, I was put on a waitlist to get a diagnosis, and I also applied for additional financial help because I was not able to have a job while studying (because of the suspected autism).
During the second semester, things went downhill quite quickly. I was tired and had lost motivation. In April, I decided I would switch study programs and go to an HBO after the summer and follow the English teacher program there.
Things were very different at HBO. I actually felt like I was back in high school. My co-students seemed to have much less discipline than me, and most were a few years younger. I am fairly certain that people thought of me as a teacher's pet (which I am, tbh) and possibly a bit arrogant because I was not shy in letting people know I knew the answer. I quickly noticed I had a big advantage in multiple facets: study skills, self-discovery, English proficiency (my history courses were all in English) and history (specifically British and USA). This allowed me to focus my energy on other things: such as adjusting to the new social situation, my new relationship (I met him at the teaching program, lol) and getting a diagnosis. I passed all my courses in one try, except my speaking exam (pronunciation is my weak spot, I passed the resit). I didn't have time for a job or a lot of extracurriculars, but I managed to get through the year pretty well with good grades. I also was officially diagnosed at the start of the second semester.
year 5
This was the past year. It was tough, but again, I managed to get through the year with good grades. Do I think I could keep up a full-time job as a teacher? Maybe not the best idea if I also want to have a social life. But I feel like I am getting the hang of things and am getting more aware of my needs (especially in relation to my autism). I did experience a lot of stress the past few weeks as I had to finish a few reports and am looking for ways to get help with reports I have difficulty with. Making the decision to go from WO to HBO was quite scary. It was not what I had in mind, and it'd mean adding a whole lot of years to my student debt (we actually have an okay system here). During this year, I was actually able to have part of my student debt erased, so that was a big relief.
Idk how many of you will make it to this point of the post. And I don't know if any of you got any wiser from reading about my experiences. I hope it gave you some hope that not everything has to be perfect from the start. It took me some time to find out what was best for me; it's okay if you need more time.
Anyway, I might make a post about what it is like to study with autism. If you have any questions about:
- studying in the Netherlands (with or without autism)
- picking between WO or HBO
- what regulations I applied for to get additional funding and have part of my student debt erased (these are regulations for Dutch students with disabilities, not just autism)
- or anything else you think I might be able to say something useful about
feel free to leave a comment! (I am fluent in Dutch, so if that's easier for you, that's fine!)
blakekathryn
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