speak of the devil and he will drive up in an uber

mas 27 about

[fireleaptfromhousetohouse]

[druckers]

i would fuck him [remembers im talking about a real person] um [remembers its normal to be attracted to people] i would fuck him

[skittypilled]

so i put my hands up theyre playing my song the evil skull flies away

[2colde]

they are poisoning us today with a thursday poison little do they know we’ve been through a few thursday poisonings so it won’t kill us just yet

[lakevida]

not sure how much more i can take of this specific book being advertised to me but the hook did grab me this time

[theelusiveemily-deactivated2024]

are you hoes on lol mode yet ?

[darkspaceboytoy]

Bro this coffee cake is lowkey cumming in my ass right now

[bulliness]

I don't think so

[darkspaceboytoy]

*getting really defensive* I’m literally getting cummed in by it right now

[eebie]

i named them cruelty of the heart and sickness of the mind

[puppiesdoglover]

Wow i like it. Everybody say hi to them pleas.

[loveridden1999]

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

[lostcryptids]

this is exactly how i watch movies

[freesiadotcom]

*trying not to doxx myself* shoutout to that one thing in a place somewhere

[slygirlboy]

torn to shreds, it seems. sad..

[penworthy]

[penworthy]

[bedupolker]

I put a pokemon colosseum playthrough in the background at work and I forgot how incredible the energy of the random NPCs was

[termagax]

Fuck I meant to say 28. My iPhone keyboard is messed up. Laugh all you want though, you’re still tumblr broke LOL

i make more than 28 dollars a year

[termagax]

Hello there. Guess how much money I made last year? $28. I’m an investment banking analyst at a boutique firm, in M&A. I have my undergrad from the University of Chicago, one of the top schools in the country. With bonuses, sometimes I make even more. Are you jealous of that? Most people on Tumblr are usually jobless or they decided to major in the humanities and are poor.

$28?