What @masternoodlenugget - Tumblr Blog

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

parkchanwoohoo

butch-king-frankenstein

Putting the term "male gaze" on top of the fridge until everyone remembers that it refers to a cinematographic trend and not the act of looking at things while being a man

assaultmystic-archive

reaching up to get it off of the fridge and the big tshirt im wearing as pyjamas rides up and the reader sees my panties

iys-cloud

I just got. The single funniest dm I've ever received in my entire life

Characters in media fighting back against the mind control:

serial-unaliver-deactivated2024

boopsloop656

sapient-simian

Light Pollution: The Overuse & Misuse of Artificial Light at Night

fazedlight-deactivated20251111

The Dark Site Finder map lets you get a good sense of where near you might be good for stargazing.

theunvanquishedzims

hotvampireadjacent

abandoned-quiche

* (Oh, these parentheses I keep opening?

* (I'm collecting them.

* (Right now, I'm 1,762 parentheses deep.

* (Oh, my precious parentheses... (I don't ever want to close them!

bloodied-dagger

* Oh, these parentheses I keep closing?)

* There’s some guy who keeps opening them.)

* Right now, they think they’re 1,762 parentheses deep…)

* But really? They’re all closed.) Thanks to me.)

beardedmrbean

Scientists invented a fake disease. AI told people it was real: Nature.com

I'm a bit frightened for the time when someone less ethical than the person that did this decides to repeat the experiment but leave out the part where they come in later and announce that it was fake and people wind up diagnosed with the fake condition and all kinds of wacky hi jinks ensues.

teathattast

oneheadtoanother

cleo-fox

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

maple-seed

Both options convey that he's horny

cleo-fox

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

theomnipotentfox

If it's the snack chip he might just be corny.

rpfwasfine

it takes 10 layers of the water filter to completely drown a tumblr screenshot if anyone was wondering

rpfwasfine

king-the-pathetic

does king the pathetic know any cool tricks ?

Uhhh he knows whatever this is

king-the-pathetic

I held the phone with my knees like so

dyingroses

cheeseanonioncrisps

“A kiss may be grand, but it won’t pay the rental, on your humble flat, or help you at the automat.”

Like literally the most famous song about how much girls love jewellry is just explaining the importance of getting jewellry for when your partner leaves you penniless and alone.

ohheyheyitsjj

The founder of Girl Scouting in the US, Juliette Gordon Low, funded her first troop by selling her pearl necklace, which was her only belonging after her husband died and left everything to his mistress.

She founded Girl Scouts to teach girls self-sufficiency so they wouldn’t have to go through what she went through when her husband died and she didn’t know how to take care of herself.

penrosesun

While we’re on the subject, let’s please also remember that historically disenfranchised communities who had to worry about frequently being run out of town often bought expensive jewelry with their limited funds not because they were greedy or tacky or classless, but rather because you can’t sew a real estate investment into the lining of your coat, and the powers that be can’t freeze a diamond necklace the way that they can freeze a bank account.