super mario sunshine is such a bizarre story. like, mario goes on vacation, mario gets accused of vandalism, peach gets kidnapped by mario’s doppelganger, mario chases them to the theme park and it turns out it’s baby bowser, who thinks peach is his mother, and he escapes to a volcano after the theme park director is like “wow, is this a new show of ours? here, get on the rollercoaster and shoot rockets at him,” which like, if it was a show, would not help?? and it’s not revealed until you actually finish the game that bowser obviously lied to bowser jr and none of this is true, so i never found that out until like years later, but like… peach gets kidnapped very early in the game, and then you just go on collecting another like 50 or 60 shine sprites and casually powerwashing vandalism off the beach and dying at the hands of an infinitely subdividing stingray, and peach’s kidnapping… doesn’t register as news on the island. you never talk to anybody about peach. there’s a news ticker at the bottom of the screeen on delfino plaza but it never says “and princess peach of the mushroom kingdom was kidnapped from pinna park by a small turtle.” you arrive with six flavors of toad and they just keep running around delfino plaza and screaming the whole time, apparently the only remaining people willing to hold vigil after the princess’s disappearance, like a procession of mushrooms wailing at a funeral. you have a physically impossible water jetpack that can also talk, and it’s implied that it was made by the same scientist who developed the magic paintbrush that baby bowser uses to wreak havoc and rewrite the fabric of time, splitting each tiny island hamlet into 8 different catastrophic parallel realities – but this scientist is alluded to about once, and never mentioned again. some raccoons have already collected 24 shine sprites by the time you get there and you have to buy them off. i think at some point word starts to get around on the island and they’re just like “ha ha yes, strangely athletic tiny man, you must uh, brush this fish’s teeth. they really stink. shut up stop laughing he’ll do it if we give him a shine sprite” and you go up to the tallest peak on isle delfino and they’re like “please make this dinosaur eat these bees, you’re the only one who can help us heheh”
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