Because youâre right.
Youâre- You're right. Iâm sorry.
No apology on your behalf needed.
Thank you for coming back. You've always been the one cleaning up my messes when I'm not around. So thank you, for everything.

No title available
RMH
Today's Document
đȘŒ

pixel skylines
AnasAbdin
taylor price

#extradirty
d e v o n
art blog(derogatory)
macklin celebrini has autism
trying on a metaphor
Cosmic Funnies

titsay
styofa doing anything
h
hello vonnie
occasionally subtle
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Philippines
seen from Norway
seen from Tunisia
seen from India
seen from India
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Norway

seen from France
@matthew-colt
Because youâre right.
Youâre- You're right. Iâm sorry.
No apology on your behalf needed.
Thank you for coming back. You've always been the one cleaning up my messes when I'm not around. So thank you, for everything.
Why are you looking at me like that?
Because you're right.
You're- You're right. I'm sorry.
Well, that was a dumb decision.
What made my actions so different from anything you would have done?
Donât ever do stupid shit like that for me. I wonât let youâ I don'tâ I donât want to lose anyone else.Â
You are not permitted to make that decision for me.. that is up to me and me only.
Well, that was a dumb decision.
Why didnât you leave me? I told you to take the others, and go. But you came back and put yourselves in danger.
You are my leaderâ you are my priority too.
Don't ever do stupid shit like that for me. I won't let youâ I don'tâ I don't want to lose anyone else.Â
I shouldâve known. He told me it was dangerous, but I didnât listen.
With our situation there is always danger, there is no where to run from it. We do what we can to survive and if consequences arise we deal with them as we always have. There is no way you could have known what would have happened. Thereâs always a chance sure, but there was no way of knowing.
Why didn't you leave me? I told you to take the others, and go. But you came back and put yourselves in danger.
Itâs all my fault.
You have to snap out of this, Matt, it wasnât your fault.Â
I should've known. He told me it was dangerous, but I didn't listen.
It's all my fault.
maureendame:
Although she thought it wasnât possible, it had to have been the wine going to both of their heads because something felt different between them. Her palms began to feel clammy and she wondered if would have minded but she didnât want to take her hand away from his strong yet gentle grip. Without even thinking about it, her thumb began circling against the top of his hand as she looked up at him, her body melting against his shoulder. Truth be told something must have been different because usually her demeanor was stiff and ready to spring if conflict arose but now, she was the most comfortable she had ever been. âAs long as there isnât anything on my face worth being humiliated for, then I do not mind you looking at me.â She smiled, watching their hands and then his on her wrist, âItâs kind of nice actually, seeing you smile like that.â Â
âWell, since you donât mind, Iâll keep looking.â Matt pressed his forehead against Maureenâs and grinned widely, then dulled to a feint smile. âItâs a nice sight.â He was close enough to her now where he could feel her breath on his. He started easing himself into her and held his hand on the small of her neck. Perhaps he shouldnât be doing this, because his head was swimming in wine. Through the numb cherry-flavored fog Matt still felt like he wanted to. That even if it meant just this once, just once, he could have someone. Before allowing himself to drown in his own thoughts of maybes and what-ifs, Matt gently took Maureenâs neck in his hands and pressed his lips clumsily into hers.
Weâre still here. Outlanders.
maureendame:
Her smile brightened a little more seeing his, a rarity in its true form and she wasnât going to waste it by looking at him with the normal face that she held with most conversations. Sure, a good majority of Matt and Maureenâs prior conversations spoke of concerns of where the other was or what they had to do to get by but now, now he was smiling at her in the most genuine way with a smidgen of pink on his cheeks as well as his ears. In truth, she wanted to know what he was thinking and why the color had sudden approached his cheeks in such a fashion as well as why he was almost stammering when he spoke. It was unlike him to not have fluidity in his words. Maureen had always admired him for his public speaking abilities but now they seemed disjointed.Â
She took the bottle as he did before, brushing her fingers across his as she took the neck of the bottle and took another drink. Pointing with the bottom of the bottle she realized she had gotten they had food and smiled, âAnd what better to go with wine than cheese.â Almost laughing to herself, because it was nothing more than string cheese and crackers rather than fancy cheeses she looked over at Matt and felt her own cheeks grow warm with the way he was looking at her. âYouâre staring.âÂ
Mattâs hand tightened gently through and around Maureenâs, his eyes darting from Maureenâs chin and forehead so as not to look like he had been staring. âSorry--I--just like looking...at you. Looking at you.â Mattâs face flushed red as the wine took over a little. Matt frantically tried pulling himself together in his own head. The combination of the wine, and Maureen, was throwing him off balance. He actually liked it, a lot. He took a cube of cheese and chewed it down, then reached for the wine but instead held Maureenâs wrist and looked down.
maureendame:
There was something about the way he took the bottle away from herâ delicately, as if it were the most fragile thing in the world and if passed off incorrectly it would shatter and the whole world would stop turning because of it. How could he do that to a bottle and make her think like that, make her believe that the way their hands were positioned at that moment was the only way to exchange that bottle from one person to another? From her fingertips to her knuckles, to her palms, she felt a surge bounce that way and back again, thrice, and in a matter of seconds. âOur own perception of a picnic,â she concluded, looking at him for a moment, a small smile etching at the corners of her mouth as she looked down and back up again.Â
Mattâs head was trying to pull him back, away from the elevator and this feeling of--safety. He was used to watching his back, or having a gun on himself at all times. Perhaps an elevator wasnât safe either just dangling there. But it had been too long that heâd gone with bottling everything up. Maybe he still could in his own way. But it felt different now. Matt smiled again, and felt himself blushing when his eyes met Maureenâs while she had looked up. His whole face started heating up, and his throat almost choking in on itself. âYeah...our own little picnic. Wine and... All that.â Matt took another pull from the wine, coughing a little. He held it back out to her, âItâd be a shame to let it go to waste.â
maureendame:
The physical closeness didnât affect Maureen as much as the emotional aspect of it. Her fingers, long and slender fit into Mattâs in a profound way. She wasnât sure why but the tightening of his grip on hers made something inside of her feel somewhat better. Maybe not all the way better but it did give some relief and allowed her to breathe softly when it seemed as if she had been holding her breath. Still she wasnât used to this, considering she wasnât the type to be able to form these types of relationships with people. Sure she could give some insight of her true feelings and different aspects of her life or her personality but she couldnât begin to give it all. And maybe she wasnât good with connecting in the past but it didnât seem so difficult nowâ being this physically close to her friend, jacket against jacket, skin on skin (in the most innocent way possible).Â
Looking over as he slipped the bottle from his back pack, she smiled a little and nodded just slightly. âI think we deserve it, donât you?â Taking the bottle with the hand that she wasnât using she put the bottle between her legs and pulled out the cork, placing it aside and taking a swig by grabbing the neck of the bottle. âThat is really good wineâ very classy for an elevator.â
Matt chuckled and used his free hand to slide his fingers between, and under Maureenâs to take the wine from her and take a long pull from the bottle with the neck clasped in his hand. âMm--wow yeah, Elevator Wine.â He passed the bottle back to Maureen, his other hand gently holding hers. âSome elevator music, maybe a dwindling light bulb. Could definitely pass off as fancy.â
He looked up at the shaft and heard Carlos swearing and the clanging of metal. Maybe itâd be okay if Carlos didnât fix the elevator soon, Matt thought to himself, smiling inside.
maureendame:
Never one for knowing how much proximity she should give a person, Maureen scooted closer to Matt and practically bumped shoulders with the male as he spoke. She was drawn to the closeness, needing someone or something to keep her grounded as the thoughts of the camp came to lightâ screaming children, her and Ajax just making it out alive and barely breathing, wondering if anyone else had made it. Matt hadnât left her mind until she found him not too long later and with that her spirit started to come back. Her ability to fight coupled with the relief that her friend was now back by her side allowed some clarity to come back into her life and the pushing back of what had happened to them commenced. Now that she was close enough she slid her hand down and took his hand in hers. Compared to his, hers were just as calloused but the size difference even made her wonder how she would be able to clasp them together but she did. It may have not comforted him throughout the one-sided conversation but it held her to the cold ground of the floor of the elevator. âWe will, we always do.â
Matt found himself clenching his hand between Maureenâs. He had pushed so many people away, or kept them far. It made losing them a little easier on himself. But he felt himself needing something, or someone, just for a minute to confide it. To physically be aware of. He had never talked about what happened at the camp. Like everyone knew he would, he had buried it all down and kept them all moving. Really, he was lying to himself and them, all over he was a mess, barely keeping himself together. Moving to whatever place offered shelter or food, then look for another one the next day. It was nothing more than things to barely keep them alive and moving. For now, Matt didnât want to pretend to be strong or know what he was doing. He felt like he didnât have to be, not now anyway. Maybe not vulnerable, not yet or ever.
With his other hand, Matt reached into his backpack and slid out a sleek bottle of half-finished wine. âFound it on our pass through that factory. Was saving it for... whenever.â He offered the bottle to her. âDrink?â
maureendame:
The nickname wasnât foreign to her but he hadnât used it in so long that she had forgotten what it felt like. The desperation in his tone didnât let up and she hated the fact that he was getting so down on himself for something like this-something so minimal that he couldnât have possibly predicted. âMatt..â she sighed and looked over at him, watching him look as far away from her as possible. âWe grasp at straws, figure out whatâs the best possible route and take it. None of us know what we are doing most of the time so what makes you so different? What makes you less human than the rest of us? You arenât a machine. You cannot calculate and map out all the possibilities or probabilities that could happen if we go right instead of leftâ itâs all a game of chance especially in our situation. Youâve done great things for the Outlanders, and for the resistance as a whole. It should mean something to you because it means a lot to the rest of us.âÂ
âItâs hard. Making choices thatâll cost either ten or twenty lives, just to keep us going for a couple more days. After so many times it just messes with your head.â Mattâs shoulders loosened and he felt himself melt into his jacket. âThe camp.â He looked at her, eyes watering but trying to hold his voice together. âI keep seeing it all in my head. They just... came in and started shooting. Didnât even care, those monsters just...â Matt rubbed his eyes as clear as he could. Elias was the one that told him it was different taking a life, and seeing one being taken. Matt didnât understand it until now. For all Matt knew, Elias was dead too.
âWeâll get them for this. One way or another, yeah?â The corner of Mattâs mouth rose into a pity smile, but a smile none the less.
maureendame:
The rhythm of the water bottle soothed her although it was a mindless tick to pass the time or to halt the agitation that he felt on the inside. Like Maureen, Matt couldnât be trapped like this with no way out or no knowledge of what was going to happen next. They were doers, the planners, the ones who get people out of situations rather than get stuck when they were in one. But when outside forces didnât come in their favor they didnât crack under pressure, no, they figured it out. But this wasnât an agent cornering them or a rouge gang coming after them this was a power outage, a stuck elevatorâ a force that they werenât able to break through.Â
Once he started speaking, Maureen looked up and listened to him. She stayed silent until she thought he was finished, figuring it was a question to be answer she responded- although it probably wasnât what he expected to hear, âYou are a great leader. It was something out of your control, the boys will get it running soon and then we will be out of here. Weâre human, there is room for error and this was just a speed bump in our mission.â She reached over and placed her hand on his leg because she couldnât reached his arm, squeezed, and then pulled her hand back to her lap.
âIt seems like all we ever hit is speed bumps, âReena.â Matt opened the bottle and juggled the cap in one hand. âIt feels like chipping away at concrete with a fork. Thereâs just no progress. I donât...â He took a sip of water and capped the bottle, and pulled himself back before continuing any further. Matt avoided looking at Maureen for a while and looked at the opposite corner instead.
âIâm not a great leader. Iâve just gambled with whatever choices I had and hoped it worked.â He cleared his throat âThank you though.â
maureendame:
Following suit, she tried her best to pry the panels or even try opening the doors with her fingers but no luck. Everything seemed useless and as she watched Matt, looking defeated as ever, she felt the same defeat in her chest as well. Although she didnât display a lot of emotion on her face usually, it was apparent that she was as disappointed as he was especially with the amount risk they were taking by staying in here. Of course they didnât have any choice but all she could do is hope that Carlos and his brother would be able to get things up and running sooner rather than later.
Removing her pack and sitting it in her lap as she shifted her body so her back was against the one side of the elevator, she pulled out two water bottles and made a small noise then once Matt was looking threw it to him. Unscrewing the cap, she took a long sip and then wiped her mouth. âWe may be here for a little while.. if we get hungry I brought food that would be enough for the both of us.â
Matt grabbed the bars on the door and shook them, sighing through his nose. He caught the water bottle and leaned against the opposite side of the elevator, eventually sliding into a defeated sitting position. He hated being trapped like this, with no control over the situation. Theyâd both have to just sit there. Matt passed the water bottle between his hands for a while, eventually taking a sip.
He nodded, âCan always count on you to think of things.â Matt leaned and threw his backpack into the middle of the elevator. âMe. Iâm getting us stuck in elevators. Some leader, huh?â