Daedric Prince Of Darkness & Fucking Off

It’s been a long, loooooong time. I’m Maud. I’m old, tired, and cringe af but my friends tell me I’m pretty cool 🖤

[frawgs]

putting ketchup on fries is too permanent for me … i have to dip . i control the sauce

[kinktendo-shamecube-is-dead]

[seriousjones]

the sexual tension between two gas stations on the same intersection

[yarking]

I’m so sick of this shit. Two gastations can’t even be on the same block without some walnut shipping them, while I can’t find a single fic for dennys/applebees with dennys bottoming.

[storytruths]

you’re literally out of your mind if you think Dennys isnt a top

[despazito]

[despazito]

[guerrillatech]

[vixvigil]

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

[rosslynpaladin]

I need you young people to know it was almost never this hot when I was a child. Millennials and Gen Xers are all nostalgic and excited about summer because it was about ten to twenty degrees cooler to experience it back then!

I cannot express to you how FAST it has gone. I grew up in a world that does not exist now. We're starting on the path to reverse it, globally. You might not know how much solar has EXPLODED in the last decade or two. It's gone from a side thing, a weirdo novelty that was just Not Viable... to whole countries investing in infrastructure. but we have to keep fighting big oil and fascism everywhere we can in order to keep on this road to a new better less scorching burning earth.

But any time you wonder wtf the weather is doing- THIS IS NOT NORMAL, NO. THIS IS NOT WHAT IT WAS EVEN TWENTY YEARS AGO.

[depsidase]

[klapollo]

almost seven years deep into the 2020s this feels less like a retrospective evaluation and more like a prophetic vision

[depsidase]

[awriterinthenight]

support your local library!

[legallybrunettedotcom]

[inbabylontheywept]

Until death, all defeat is psychological.

[what-even-is-thiss]

What if the fates are a trio of old grandmas gossiping while they’re weaving

[byjove]

what’s really interesting is that if you stop endorsing candidates with long histories of violence and sexual misconduct, the likelihood of there being a public scandal involving violence and sexual misconduct goes down significantly

[saltedume]

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.

Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

I absolutely failed at doing this:

[redstonedust]

kind of embarrasing when your life is actually going pretty well but you still have mental health problems. it's like when you drink water but still have a headache like what the hell. you're telling me this isn't because of the Situations i'm actually just like this. i want a refund.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Historically the Greeks (very broad version of that term) have indeed had a lot of military victories but it’s never not funny when they go “pfft what they can’t do anything they’re just barbarians” and then immediately get punched into next Tuesday

[orphetoon]

sometimes on the tumblr app you click on an image to see it fullscreen and it will give you a completely different image it has sourced from the fucking aether. i hope they never fix this because i got flashbanged with an image of scooby doo calling me a ‘raggot’

[batsandboba]

when i say “girl” randomly as an interjection i’m speaking to the omnipresent all knowing being of Girl. asking her for mercy. taking girl’s name in vain