I'm curious about life's journey and the fascinations I find along the way. While trying to understand where I want to focus my attention, I am pursuing the days of my life as an adventure, in hopes that in the tops of trees or attics above fireplaces or on the tops of chimneys I will discover meaning that will inspire me for a lifetime.
When you slow down and expand your awareness of the present, it's possible you might realize everything you need is around you waiting to be noticed.
What you may need to validate, support, challenge, or transform your life is in constant flux, as is your experience and the things that shape you. Identifying what you need isn't always clear.
Slowing down allows us to absorb and notice detail. In the detail we discover the secrets and wisdom of life.
Take a breath without any movement. Suspend your need to do, and instead be. Recognize what's around you.
Listen to the wind and engage deeply with the person in front of you. If you listen close enough to the words rolling off her tongue you might just realize she's given you something of serious value. She's not even aware of what she's given you, that's your job. She's offered validation in your direction and intention, but also a challenge to sit with the discomforting circumstances.
Her direction
Slow down
Let go of the stress
Your complicated circumstance may produce anxiety & stress, only because you can't see through it. You'll never be able to see it, the future will always be undetermined until it becomes experienced. Let go and be, before what is now becomes something you reach into the past to resurrect.
When you grow old and wise you'll look back and laugh at the significant time you spent worrying, which did nothing to make life any different.
Life will work unfold and work itself out. It never hasn't.
Enjoy the experience you have and for as long as you can consider something besides your feeble worries. Reframe your fear with gratefulness, and freedom. Freedom because life will move without your stress even if you can't imagine such a phenomenon.
Regardless how the next hour, day, week, or month unfolds, I can guess one thing that will more than likely be right: you will be all right.
You'll be all right.
Let that thought empower you to notice what you need, the conversations to be have, the places to discover, the opportunities to explore, and the relationship to nurture.
Don't let perfection keep you from trying. It's the continual risk in trying that allows you to develop and eventually become remarkable.
Let the desire for perfection be replaced with the courage to try your best. Repeat the process over and over, and before long you may reach a level beyond your preconceived perception of what you thought was perfection.
Sometimes the voices in our head keep us from ever trying things we have an instinctual ability to perform. Listen for the silent veto and choose to ignore it. When you think you can't, you probably can. Make beautiful things.
Cristina Pacheco is a good friend and a passionate dreamer. I’ve had the privilege & pleasure of being energized, inspired & encouraged to pursue the things I care about most from the conversations we’ve had together in various corners of the world.
I’m sure most of you have experienced a time where you were deeply challenged by something you read, a conversation, something you saw or a whimsical thought. A few weeks ago, Cristina shared this piece with me. The clarity and simplicity of the big thing hasn’t left my mind since I read it for the first time.
I have five more days of work before I have to find a new job. As the time gets closer and the pressure builds of finding something new, I am reminded now is the best time to begin action toward my big thing.
This is the first guest-post I’ve done on my personal blog. Because Cristina's words influenced me in such an impactful way, I asked her if she would be willing to share her piece with all of you. I hope you enjoy her self-expression as much as I have.
ENTER CRISTINA
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This is a 1:30 AM revelatory moment. A long, slightly discouraging day brings me to my computer, back propped up by my aging pillows, dealing with my way-too-active mind for the hour. “Going for the big thing.” This is a thought I’ve mulled over lots lately. I think we all have that big, seemingly unattainable idea that if only given all the money in the world, blue skies, green lights, and an abundance of self-confidence we could accomplish. The dreams of “somedays” and “if onlys.” But as I sit in my bed I realize, or perhaps acknowledge, the simple truth that the big things are big and good because they aren’t handed over easily. We have to work for them. Take love for example. Good love, the kind that you see in respected friends’ relationships or perhaps you have the privilege of having in your life, comes with work, time, and effort. But that’s also what makes it so good. It’s the hours, moments, 2 AM talks, and all the in between that makes up love. And we all want it. We want that sweet place that brings goodness into our lives. But these good things, these beautiful things, come with work.
I’ve been thinking about my big dreams lately. The ones I only share with close friends using the preface, “I mean, I know this is unrealistic” or “Someday I’d love to...” But after a great conversation with a friend recently, I began to ask myself why my dreams had to live in “somewhere, someday land.” What’s keeping me from jumping off the proverbial ledge and free falling into the mysterious unknown? Here’s where idea’s battle ground starts. Let’s get those militant, ever-present words out there: fear, doubt, cynicism, fear again, and unwillingness. Unwillingness to deal with the inevitable loss that comes when we weed out things that hold us back from taking risks. All those things, added up, create a wall, that we can easily look at to justify our excuses. I want to break some (cuss word) walls in my life. Or at least I want to try. I recognize there is a hypothetical element to my words, I’m not spelling out specifics, just setting an intention like my very-connected-to-mother-earth yoga instructor tells me to do. So I’m letting words hold weight and I’m telling myself to try for the big thing, as far away as it may seem. And I do this knowing that dreams change. It’s allowed. Actually, it’s more than allowed, it’s vital. Part of the fear piece, is staring down embarrassment when your dreams morph or change. The goal is not permanence, it’s existence.
So what exists for you? What’s your big thing? What’s residing on the other side of that carefully constructed wall? Let it loose, or at least let it be spoken over coffee to a good friend. Dreams are gifts. They reside in our thoughts and souls for a reason, especially at 1:30AM on a Tuesday. And reality, roadblocks, and timing are real factors in the following of dreams, but they are not the deal breakers we make them out to be. But persistence takes energy, more than words on a screen can hold. So to start, I’m giving myself permission to recognize my dreams. Simply, but genuinely. Then each day I’ll try taking one step towards that thing that gives me life and holds greater significance. I’m not aiming at perfection, that’s way too exhausting, just the satisfaction that I didn’t settle for less than great. I’m not so afraid of falling anymore. In fact, I think it’s the very thing I need.
I’d rather not write about the stuff I care about because it makes me uneasy.
I am afraid of criticism.
I am afraid of criticism because when I write about the stuff I care about I know I will be criticized, I know people will disagree, I know people will find flaws and inconsistencies in the words I use, the points I make and the topics I choose. So most of my thoughts, opinions and ideas stay hidden away in moleskins you will never see.
It’s easier to deny, say you’ve misinterpreted my point, or make excuses for myself. I’m good at that. I’m good at that because for most of my life the system I’ve lived in has taught me do the right thing, to fit in and to do what everyone is doing around me.
I don’t think I have to fit into place. I don’t have to fit into place. But, if I don’t want to fit into place, I am going to have to own my behavior, thoughts and beliefs.
The uneasiness I feel about drawing, painting, writing poetry, developing my own products, speaking in public, participating in a discussion, doing what I feel unqualified for, is more than likely going to yield negative feedback.
The uneasiness generated from negative feedback is the variable that will change your life, so start welcoming it now.
In my last post I talked about writing, so I will use that example.
The uneasiness I feel when I let myself be seen by developing a clearly articulated perspective is the very element that ignites, starts, launches, and opens the door for self-discovery, analysis, examination, and critique.
Feedback that reveals the lonesome weed in my seemingly immaculate garden is the feedback I need to participate in a constant iterative process of improvement.
Failure and vulnerability are both things we are persuaded to avoid. However, I think both of these hold my most pure moments of genius, insight and contribution. To fail I must be vulnerable. To be vulnerable I must be seen. The voice, feedback and criticism of others, expose the various places of improvement we are unable to identify on our own.
I’d rather not write. But if writing is my only outlet for instigating the criticism that eventually leads to examining & analyzing toward change, improvement and an iterative process of becoming a better version of myself, I will continue.
Uneasiness; however, is the first stage in the life cycle of change. Change is what moves us. Moving forward is an opportunity to refine and reinvent our perspective, opinion, beliefs, purpose and meaning.
Reveal yourself as clearly as you can. Welcome the uneasiness you tend to avoid, for without those feelings we find no reason to change.
The truth is I have struggled to choose an idea to unpack. Failing to find the content to write about isn’t the problem. Internally, I struggle to convince myself I have something valuable to say.
The books, blogs, articles, websites & movies I want to be influenced by increase daily. However, these value-adding influences have reached contention. Information, insight, and wisdom flood my attention, yet conflicting opinion is common. More often than not, the experts reach different conclusions. For any problem or improvement (depending on the way you look at it) there seems to be numerous (sometimes thousands) scientifically proven explanations for everything.
I was convinced they would, but they don’t - the experts don’t agree.
Do dairy products increase the likelihood of heart related diseases or not? Is it healthier to cook with olive oil or coconut oil? Is Facebook an enhancing or threatening tool for our ability to connect with people?
There isn’t one solution, there are many. Too many solutions and too many variables to consider complicate our ability to make good decisions. In fact, what determines a good decision, (good for you, us, the world, our community, our school, our church, our business, or my health.)?
The world we live in is inexplicably complex. In seconds, I can read thousands of educated articles about losing 7 pounds in 4 days or doctoring a cold with natural remedies. How do we make sense of all this noise?
More importantly, why does my voice matter? Is writing a waste of my time. If experts can’t agree, what’s the point of spending my time developing my own perspective?
I am stalled by this question.
If people draw different conclusions with valid explanation and rationale, should I keep writing? It happens to me personally as often as it happens to the voices I listen to: I say one thing today and something happens to me a few months later completely destroying my previously stated perspective. One day my favorite hobby is riding bikes, the next day I learn riding bikes is linked to the development of testicular cancer. That’s not true, but things like this seem to be happening more often.
My opinion seems momentarily valid.
So why write?
I write because the challenge of articulating my perspective reveals a clearer understanding of me. Explaining why is mentally exhausting and preferably a question I’d like to avoid entirely. Why have I chosen to stop eating meat? Why do I care about entrepreneurship and social justice? Why am I upset when I get my coffee served in a paper cup without being asked if I want a ceramic mug? Why does Ralphs no longer receive my business?
For me, a perspective that can’t explain why isn’t understood. Writing provides me an attempt to answer the why question with an honest response. Regardless, if my perspective fades, changes, and dies as quick as the leaves on the trees, there is unmatched importance in doing work that cajoles me to vulnerably admit a clearly defined opinion.
Whether my voice is heard or not is irrelevant, understanding who I am enables me to live a more directed and purposeful life. The voices will always be in contention. Don’t be in contention with yourself.
