soothings @maxwillliam - Tumblr Blog

thewomenandthechildren

one day, you will close Tumblr for a final time…

nuckgirl16

woundliqour

Sword w cellphone charms

pancakeke

tahansstuff

Adam Groff (Sex Education)

ladychlo

I wish you all very good sex. if you don't like sex, I wish you a very good romance. if you don't want either of them. I wish you a very good bowl of soup and some bread, mate.

woodrider

I've had enough I'm gonna start trapping people in oil paintings

disgruntledturtle

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

equalistmako

“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.”

seasonoftowers

Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.

people-are-garbage

well you did ask

defilerwyrm

Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.

mrtacomam

you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN

kariachi

Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 lbs of meat.

pulltheotheroneithasbellson

plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.

blueandbluer

Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.

citizencosmos

frontier001

They're Together Again...

poet-by-heart

As someone who studies history I often wondered how ordinary people thought about living through such huge historical events. Now I know they were sick and tired of that shit.

squareallworthy

Do kids today even understand why podcasts are called podcasts?

squareallworthy

Well, you see, kids, almost twenty years ago Apple produced a portable audio player called – wait, I need to go back further.

squareallworthy

Okay, so in the 20th century, the new inventions of radio and television were known as broadcast media – no, wait, that’s not really the start either –

squareallworthy

Broadcasting originally refers to throwing, or casting, handfuls of seeds onto prepared ground, typically used with grain crops, which, uh –

squareallworthy

– the Agrucultural Revoution, which begain circa 10,000 BC in the Levant, was when humans began preserving seeds for replanting –

asynca

I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to have been in the queer movement for 20+ years, to have studied queer theory, to have contributed to you potentially enjoying the rights you have today because I was part of a groundswell of lobbying and direct action in the 1990s….

…to have a 15 year old who’s spent maybe 8 months being political and has never inquired about queer history anonymously message me, “EXCUSE ME QU**R IS A SLUR LMAO OMG EMBARRASSSING AN aCTUAL ADULT WHO THINKS IT’S OKAY TO USE QU**R!~!!!!”

Dude, we are a slur. Queer folks are a slur to conservative straight people. Everything we are will be used as a slur by everyone who hates us. Gay is a slur. Lesbian is a slur. People will try to use all of our words against us. Don’t fucking let them get into your head to the point at which you’re telling actual queer people not to use the words we’ve used to unite ourselves and empower ourselves for decades.