new semester started!!!! with the amount of very challenging subjects i will actually die this time

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@maybeiwasjustagirl13
new semester started!!!! with the amount of very challenging subjects i will actually die this time
got that dog in me and mitski has been showing financial interest in it
I geniuenly don't want to get older so bad I want to throw up. Not in a omg I don't want wrinkles and gray hair way but in a I don't want to work until I retire and die after a meaningless life. I want to live, go everywhere, learn every language, help everyone in need, live in every single possible place, meet all the people I want to love, eat every cuisine, get every degree, read every book ,listen to every album, see every movie. I literally see days slipping through my fingers. They go by like seconds. "It feels so scary getting old."
I feel like fanfic is dead.
No one writes anything but smut, and when they do write something else, it's missing soul, or it's short, or it's OOC.
And SO many Fandoms are dead. Idk what's going on,
Are people reading somewhere else, because Wattpad, Tumblr, and AO3 are dead too?
And AI is EVERYWHERE
I don't know what to do, I can not live without my stories! I'm being so serious, life really sucks rn and I need to live another life in the fiction world and I can't.
EDIT: btw I'm not talking about people who are learning, I like to write, but I'm not super good rn. But I think it's easy to tell when some people are just writing for attention or something similar.
AND if you're worried about your writing, that means you care and i wouldnt worry. Trust yourself.
Im not trying hate, and this is not directed at anyone.
EDIT: thank you so much, I think I said something less for complaining and more for perspective.
Ive decided to just read a lot of comics like I did when I was younger lol.
Thank you, guys, for answering! Have a good day.
LAST EDIT I PROMISE: I love all the self-promos get it queen(or king)😙
Me after the slightest inconvenience in life:
Oh to be eleven years old and finding a life-changing obscure paperback in the library