"Excuse MEEEEeeeeEEEE?!"

they/him/ze/zim transmasc agender homoflexible demiromantic aegosexual selfshipper mayonaizs.straw.page I CANNOT DONATE TO ANYTHING

[mayonaizs]

❤️🎀 Mayonaizs's Blog 🐊💚

they/him/ze/zim located in australia

Biggest interests: 🪞Twisted Wonderland, ⛸️Medalist (they are everything to me)

💥 Selective Selfshipper 💥

my F/Os >///<: Kim Dokja 📖💛 Sebek Zigvolt 🐊💚 Steven Stone 🪨💙

Sebek is my main yume ❤️🎀🐊💚 Sebek ship tag is #voltsky ⚡🐊🎀 (including emojis!!) for your filtering purposes

And! Vega from Jackpot Crash Course 🔔🌠🎀 Vega ship tag is #starnight 🌠🔔🎀 (including emojis) for your filtering purposes...

(note Dokja and Steven don't have tags yet because I'm still working on the self ship lore so I don't post about the ships haha)

dividers by @dollywons I adore her work

Mayo's Tags :3 :3

Art -–— #mayonaizs art WIP -–— #mayonaizs wip Sketches/Doodles -–— #mayonaizs sketch Asks -–— #mayoask

Give CREDIT if you repost my art. Can be used for personal stuff like pfps and banners 👍

-–— interests below the cut

Interests

( links to their wikis / official website / media source )

Important Interests (I'm not normal about them) —–- 🪞Twisted Wonderland ⛸️Medalist 🎬Pompo the Cinephile ✨Star Detective Pretty Cure! 👁️corru.observer (this is a free webhosted video game) 🌌Milky☆Subway: The Galactic Limited Express (all episodes free on youtube) 🎤Phantom of the Idol

Casual Interests (I'm pretty normal about them) —–- 🎻Grand Guignol Orchestra (new interest. we'll see how it goes) 🧹Magilumiere Co. Ltd. 📖Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint (but im not normal about dokja) 🚯Gachiakuta 📜Frieren: Beyond Journey's End 🍽️Delicious in Dungeon 💕Tamon's B Side 📚Library Wars (manga) 🎴Chihayafuru 👻Phantom Busters 🔴Pokemon Adventures Manga (fav arc: ruby/sapphire) 📼Studio Investigrave (free indie games)

Larped Interest (I've barely played but I keep posting it) —–- 🚌Limbus Company

[mayonaizs]

dawg their seasoning my passwords

[mayonaizs]

moot changed his pfp interests are getting wild

[seaumbrasstuff]

Jackpot Crash Course: Bullseye! [FAN-MOD TEASER]

Me, Azule, and our friends are making a JCC fan-mod! It's still early in development, so there's no release date yet. Thanks for your patience!

Not affiliated with STUDIO INVESTIGRAVE.

[robofishy]

MUSHROOMSHARK for tumblr ig 🐬🫧

Rare post from me here but since this left my hand suffering for 3 days then I’ll post this

It’s a comic for my 4th anniversary with Jade🫶 (29th of July)

Reminder than I’m nonsharing so please refrain from interacting if u r a double or have oc x canon with him, refrain from love mailing him and also the brown hair guy it’s me (not a girl, im nonbinary so they/them)

[goldensunset]

ok i’ve been curious about something. can you name a character who is, all three at once,

1. canonically female (no variation)

2. canonically the protagonist of her story (if it’s an ensemble cast you have to say you can legitimately see her as The main character)

3. your personal #1 favorite character in that story (ties are acceptable)

?

yes

no

super nuance bald extract button (use this wisely)

Remaining time: 6 days 10 hours

[billymayslesbian]

nothing worse than seeing one of those "i dont like any female characters because every woman is badly written ☺️" type posts where the persons icon is from a property youve seen/read and your favorite character from said thing is a woman. like first of all, fuck you?????? you dont like blorbo bleebus?????????????

[duckbunny]

don't infantilise yourself. you are not a child who needs an adult to make your decisions for you. you are a splendid and magnificent autocrat and you are consulting your trusted advisors. you are exercising great wisdom by inviting an expert to give their opinion before making your ruling. often the path of wisdom is to say "good morning, I'm trying to [perform task] and I have a question about [aspect], can you tell me who I should speak to for advice?" before you do it. sometimes the path of wisdom is to hire a plumber. there are times when you cannot do things for yourself but that doesn't mean you are not an adult. you don't need a grown-up. you need a specialist.

[duckbunny]

this has come up a couple of times so let me be really really clear:

the path of wisdom is sometimes to hire a plumber.

the path of wisdom is always to hire an electrician.

[zoesupreme]

had to look this up bc I thought it was a joke

[zoesupreme]

if he had been there it wouldn't have gone down like that

[fairy-type-pokemon]

assign prev one

vampire

siren

werewolf

unicorn

wizard

fairy

selkie

demon

jackalope

angel

ghost

elf

Remaining time: 5 days 1 hour

[gaydiation-poisoning]

It would kill half the 19-25 year olds online to realize "I can't help it I have trauma" is one of THE quintessential abuser excuses

[gaydiation-poisoning]

Like there is a difference between "My trauma creates impulsive urges and has changed my instinctive reactions to be irrational, I need to relearn shit." vs "I'm traumatized so I Can't Help It and you're not allowed to expect better of me"

[angelicguy]

thinking about when my brother got chatbanned from overwatch and the email they sent him after he tried to appeal it said “we dont normally bring up the incriminating messages, but in this case we feel its necessary to show you what got you banned” and it was all shit like “ i will kidnap you in the desert and make you forget how to eat”

[metanarrates]

tbh if i was really into a het relationship with a fun unique dynamic and i logged online to tumblr and saw that the fans were going "alright we have 4 flavors of misogyny available to portray women with so we're gonna pick one" id become the joker. hetjoshis im so sorry you have to deal with fanon

[darkestmetamorphosis]

Peer reviewed prev tags

[hyn-hyperlaser]

Looks like you made a lifetime's worth of stew

[ihazyourkitty]

Friendly reminder:

No, you don't want that otter. No, that is not a pet. No, that up close encounter where you can pay to cuddle with an otter is probably not ethical. No, I'm pretty sure that channel with a guy and his pet otters is not a legitimate "animal rescue", stop recommending it to me.

Yes, the otter is cute. Please admire them either from a distance, or behind a barrier at an accredited facility. Thank you.

.....no I'm not going insane seeing how flooded social media is with unethical otter content.

[loubatas]

The recent popularity of otter cafés in Japan caused a rise in animal trafficking & poaching of these otter species in Asia. Asia isn't an exception: the same will happen anywhere. The more popular an exotic wild species is as a "pet", the more it encourages poaching & trafficking. Even if you can give your exotic animal the best living conditions (which is always more complicated than with a domestic species), this factor will always remain

If you want a pet, you want a domesticated species. If you want a domesticated mustelid (the family otters belongs to), we have one: it's called a "ferret"

Yes, they do require specific care you need to learn about (like any animal, wild or domestic), no they don't look exactly like otters (it's the closest you'll get in domestic animals though) But they're a lot more adapted to live in human houses, and they're not at risk of being poached in the wild. Mostly because like dogs or domestic cats, they don't exist in the wild

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

I’m going to add to this that you also really do not want to swim with or cuddle otters. I am very foot-stompy on this point right now because the shitty reptile zoo that closed near me just reemerged as an otter-cuddling petting zoo.

All of the issues of supporting less ethical encounters and driving the illegal pet trade aside (other people already covered them, yay), have you seen those teeth? The ones that rip through fish like butter?

North American River Otter (The Des Moines Register)

Asian Small-Clawed Otter (Knockhatch Adventure Park)

Do you want wet slippery stinky chaos gremlins with those teeth anywhere near your soft fleshy parts? No. No you do not.

People get bitten by wild otters and it is a big enough deal to make the media when it happens! There’s a bunch of examples of serious bites at this link. They mostly avoid people but when they feel threatened they can fuck you up.

Seriously. There is a reason that people who work with otters, professionally in credible zoos and aquariums are the least likely people you will see reaching in to sneak a skritch. They only contact their otters in heavily trained situations using very thoroughly positively reinforced tactile cues.

You really do not have any reason to go do pay to play snuggles or swims with otters. If you do want to get closer to them than just looking from outside an exhibit, there are accredited facilities that will allow you to observe up close or tong-feed while protected by a barrier. Do that instead.

[beastsposting]

i was going to put this in the tags, but decided id post it fully for more visibility.

hello! i am a wildlife rehabber & educator in the state of california. today, i am driving a non releasable bobcat 5.4 hours south to his permanent home at another wildlife center. this is the second bobcat we have had like this in the last 6 months. not counting before that, and not counting previous residents.

at my other center, over the years, we have had no less than 7 habituated ex-'pet' coyotes, and 10 or more habituated foxes, both from backyard feeding & illegal keeping.

these animals have been surrendered, abandoned, or seized by fish and willdife. i have 6 years of experience working with them. the treatment of wild animals as pets and at bad facilities sickens me because of how badly it affects how visitors view our animals.

did you know there was an increase in illegal trade of endangered slow loris species after a video of one being pet went viral?

yeah. it's that bad. the videos and photos out there might seem harmless just to share, especially if they're from reposters which wont support the original- but the actual treatment of these animals is horrible. any time you've thought "well it's just a few centers / videos, whats the harm? animal abuse happens all the time." it's far, far worse than that.

[ihazyourkitty]

Friendly reminder:

No, you don't want that otter. No, that is not a pet. No, that up close encounter where you can pay to cuddle with an otter is probably not ethical. No, I'm pretty sure that channel with a guy and his pet otters is not a legitimate "animal rescue", stop recommending it to me.

Yes, the otter is cute. Please admire them either from a distance, or behind a barrier at an accredited facility. Thank you.

.....no I'm not going insane seeing how flooded social media is with unethical otter content.

[loubatas]

The recent popularity of otter cafés in Japan caused a rise in animal trafficking & poaching of these otter species in Asia. Asia isn't an exception: the same will happen anywhere. The more popular an exotic wild species is as a "pet", the more it encourages poaching & trafficking. Even if you can give your exotic animal the best living conditions (which is always more complicated than with a domestic species), this factor will always remain

If you want a pet, you want a domesticated species. If you want a domesticated mustelid (the family otters belongs to), we have one: it's called a "ferret"

Yes, they do require specific care you need to learn about (like any animal, wild or domestic), no they don't look exactly like otters (it's the closest you'll get in domestic animals though) But they're a lot more adapted to live in human houses, and they're not at risk of being poached in the wild. Mostly because like dogs or domestic cats, they don't exist in the wild

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

I’m going to add to this that you also really do not want to swim with or cuddle otters. I am very foot-stompy on this point right now because the shitty reptile zoo that closed near me just reemerged as an otter-cuddling petting zoo.

All of the issues of supporting less ethical encounters and driving the illegal pet trade aside (other people already covered them, yay), have you seen those teeth? The ones that rip through fish like butter?

North American River Otter (The Des Moines Register)

Asian Small-Clawed Otter (Knockhatch Adventure Park)

Do you want wet slippery stinky chaos gremlins with those teeth anywhere near your soft fleshy parts? No. No you do not.

People get bitten by wild otters and it is a big enough deal to make the media when it happens! There’s a bunch of examples of serious bites at this link. They mostly avoid people but when they feel threatened they can fuck you up.

Seriously. There is a reason that people who work with otters, professionally in credible zoos and aquariums are the least likely people you will see reaching in to sneak a skritch. They only contact their otters in heavily trained situations using very thoroughly positively reinforced tactile cues.

You really do not have any reason to go do pay to play snuggles or swims with otters. If you do want to get closer to them than just looking from outside an exhibit, there are accredited facilities that will allow you to observe up close or tong-feed while protected by a barrier. Do that instead.

[beastsposting]

i was going to put this in the tags, but decided id post it fully for more visibility.

hello! i am a wildlife rehabber & educator in the state of california. today, i am driving a non releasable bobcat 5.4 hours south to his permanent home at another wildlife center. this is the second bobcat we have had like this in the last 6 months. not counting before that, and not counting previous residents.

at my other center, over the years, we have had no less than 7 habituated ex-'pet' coyotes, and 10 or more habituated foxes, both from backyard feeding & illegal keeping.

these animals have been surrendered, abandoned, or seized by fish and willdife. i have 6 years of experience working with them. the treatment of wild animals as pets and at bad facilities sickens me because of how badly it affects how visitors view our animals.

did you know there was an increase in illegal trade of endangered slow loris species after a video of one being pet went viral?

yeah. it's that bad. the videos and photos out there might seem harmless just to share, especially if they're from reposters which wont support the original- but the actual treatment of these animals is horrible. any time you've thought "well it's just a few centers / videos, whats the harm? animal abuse happens all the time." it's far, far worse than that.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[samshine-and-lollipops-deactiva]

Wait, it got better.

[libertineangel]

He does this a lot, to my deep surprise in undergrad:

For reference, the reason nobody likes this book and you can press tofu with it is that it’s about 1600 pages long.

[horizon-penblade]

It’s also, by all accounts, the origin of Cousin Throckmorton

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[aceal0tl]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame