Well Aren't You Cute @mayorcvrdinal - Tumblr Blog

itsvondell-deactivated20180104

you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink

Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.

My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

I’m rather fond of “It’s not rocket surgery” and “not the sharpest egg in the attic,” but my all-time favourite is, “…until the cows freeze over.”

bowtochris

You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it,

sickassbonedragon

hells-little-fallen-angels

From now on if anyone asks me why I am randomly sad…instead of saying “I don’t know” or something I’m going to look them dead straight in the eyes and say “I’ve been assigned to mourn the death of a stranger” and just walk away

ironmess

from the creators of Who The Hell is Bucky comes Why is Gamora

igxbaddies

8pxl

this tweet is really motivating honestly…….

lovelybed

*uses my thumbs to lift my bra straps like an old timey political man would with his suspenders* im the mayor of titty city, bitch

softest-archive-deactivated2023

I’m ok. I’m gonna be ok. I’m gonna live a beautiful life and I’ll get to know beautiful people. I will create things of beauty and be surrounded by flowers. And I’ll love myself, and I’ll be soft, I’ll be kind. And I’ll be ok.

slightmood

good evening does anyone remember that one disney channel movie where a family wins an entire house that’s artificially intelligent like Siri but as the movie progresses the house becomes more and more strict and obsessive and eventually it holds the family hostage

slutforfood

nope how was your day today?

slightmood

very good! it was raining and there was a nice slug on the pavement

slutforfood

wow!! right on the pavement?

slightmood

right on the pavement!

saperion

It was called Smart House

memescomedy

wearethewitches

reblog if ur a cryptid gen z-millennial like me (born between 1994-2003)

showerthoughtsofficial

Your belly button is just your old mouth.

virgoassbitch

….

acquaintedwithrask

I was having a good day. We were all having a good day.

dimetrodone

Most of our perception of what Goblin sharks looks like comes from dead specimines where they are all mangled and shrivelled, and are always positioned with their jaws protruding out.

When while alive they only ever extend their jaw for feeding, and arnt half as creepy looking

zahnegott

they do look like goblins

dietmountainmadewka-deactivated

this also disregards the fact that they can still propel their jaws forward like an aquatic xenomorph from hell

dimetrodone

So can many other fish, I’m just not judging them for their beautiful smile.

despazito

personal favourite

praazlwurm

why is the ocean like this

trilllizard666

it just be like that

transpeter-deactivated20180411

never trust:

people who won’t accept loving and genuine prayers just bc they aren’t personally religious

people who won’t be kind and civil to children just bc they don’t personally care for kids

people who treat servers badly/don’t tip

people who just throw trash on the floor bc “someone’s being paid to clean it up”

people who stop respecting someone’s gender/sexuality just bc they don’t like them

people who disrespect their parents for no good reason

people who say “i don’t discriminate bc i hate everyone equally ;)” like some kinda edgy 13 year old

feel free to add more so people can be on the look out for who to stay away from

positive-lesbian-vibes

not to be A Lesbian but like……. butch girls really are wow…… femme girls really are wow……. do u ever just…. girls……. wow

positive-lesbian-vibes

I saw TERFs interacting with this post and I would just like to remind everyone that trans butch girls are Wow™, trans femme girls are Wow™, and trans girls in general are Wow™ and if u don’t think that fuck off and stop following me!!!!!