Till Then | Steven Grant x Reader
Worth an Oscar | Masterlist
Context: After a wonderful night, an unpleasant feeling washed over you for no explicable reason. But you weren't the only one who felt this way; your lovely Steven had also sensed what was about to happen and thus offered a dance.
Warning: Angst, Small Mentions of Pregnancy (for those who doesn't like stories like these), Grief
Music: Till Then by The Mills Brothers
This night was utterly beautiful, the moon glowed brightly than usual, the air was cooler, and it was so peaceful. But what made it more special than any other night was that you spent it with the love of your life, Steven Grant.
Steven promised you a date, which he fulfilled tonight. He took you to all of your favorite places in London, which resulted in both of you staying until midnight. You suggested that you both stay in because you knew his new job was exhausting, but he preferred not to. He explained that a lady like you should always feel special, which is why he planned to take you out on a date every Friday.
You admired how he remembered everything you liked even when you only mentioned it once, especially given his forgetfulness.
"Here, take this love," Steven smiled, gently covering your bare shoulders with his coat. "You might catch a cold."
You returned his sweet smile, reaching up to hold his hand that rested briefly on your shoulder. "Thank you, darling," Steven hummed before facing the empty field of the local park again. Steven wanted to end the night peacefully, so he took you to your last favorite place. You sighed contentedly before resting your head on his shoulder and closing your eyes as you felt him do the same.
Steven encased your right hand in his larger ones, slightly leaning back on the back of the bench. He began rubbing loving circles on your knuckles, his hands ghostly running over your fingers and palms. A simple life with the most perfect man was everything you could ever want. Your lips curled into a smile as you imagined your future with him, how you'd both live peacefully, how he'd look playing with your children, and how you'd both grow old together.
A sudden feeling washed over you, interrupting your dream. You couldn't quite make it out, but you know it was uncomfortable and troubling. But it was when you realized you weren't the only one who felt this way that your brows knitted even more. You opened your eyes to see Steven, whose body tensed beside you. He was still staring straight ahead, his face blank, and his grip on your hand had tightened slightly.
"Darling?" you called softly, holding his shoulder with your free hand as you worriedly searched his face. He wasn't responding, and he was very still, so still that you became concerned. "Steven?" you asked, sitting up straight.
With the unrecognizable feeling and Steven's lack of action, your heartbeat painfully quickened. "Steven, darling? Are you okay?" you inquired again, this time with obvious concern in your voice.
You began rubbing his shoulder to get his attention, attempting to release your hand from his firm grip, but to no avail. This was starting to frighten you, and you had no idea why. You tried everything to get his attention, pinching him, waving your hands in front of his face, snapping your fingers, but he didn't move. "Steven, you're scaring me," you mumbled, looking down at your squished hand.
Steven slowly turned his head towards you with that single sentence. His grip loosened and he resumed caressing your hand, his eyes filled with adoration as he searched your worried expression. "I'm fine, love," Steven said, as if he hadn't been acting strangely earlier. "Are you?" He asked, gently cupping your right cheek. You heaved a shaky breath before trying to comprehend what had occurred.
Steven's questions and concern about your expression made you relax a little, giving you the impression that your Steven has returned. But why did he behave like that?
It was as if he sensed something uneasy...like you.
"I-I'm okay, Steven," you responded, trying to forget what had happened earlier. Steven huffed and chuckled as he rubbed your temple with his thumb, "Oh good, I thought something happened." You tried not to react to his chuckle because you knew it was completely forced. Steven felt something similar to you, and you know it.
But if he really did, why isn't he saying anything?
"Can I offer you a dance, love?" Steven stood up abruptly, taking both your hands in his and bending down to await your response. You looked up at his smiling figure, which was so beautiful in the moonlight. "Just one, yeah?" His smile widened as he raised both your hands to his face and tenderly kissed the gaps of your knuckles.
You thought about it at first, but since Steven seemed to want to dance with you, you gave him a genuine soft smile before standing up with him. Steven's cheeks flushed as he led you both slightly away from the bench you were sitting on in order to give you both more space. "Thank you, my love," Steven whispered as he came to a halt.
His gentle hands found your waist and drew you in closer until your chests were touching. You softly hugged his neck, and he rested his cheek against yours. Although you had always wanted to dance with Steven, the earlier feeling lingered. And, despite his smile, Steven's eyes were filled with the polar opposite of happiness.
You swallowed and closed your eyes as Steven began to sway you both. Maybe you're just hallucinating, yeah? Maybe it's just fatigue that has you feeling this way. You don't want to ruin this night, so you tried to relax yourself with Steven's warmth.
It was then you felt yourself relaxing when you heard Steven's melodic voice. "Till then, my darling, please wait for me," He was singing the song that was playing in the background when you two first met at a coffee shop. His voice was so soothing that you leaned in closer to him and silently hummed with him, feeling the tension in your body release.
"Till then, no matter when it will be, some day I know I'll be back again, please wait till then."
You began drawing circles on Steven's nape with your fingers, feeling him smile in your ear as he leaned in closer. As he hummed, his warm breath tickled your ear and his large hands caressed your waist, lovingly running his fingers through your curves.
"Our dreams will live though we are apart," As Steven sang the part that made your chest tighten uncomfortably, your smile faded. "Our love I know we'll keep in our hearts" Your fingers stopped playing with his hair and your hands tensely rested on his shoulders. The feeling you once shook off has returned, stronger than ever. You turned slowly to face Steven, who had his head down, your brows arched as he avoided eye contact.
"Steven," you said quietly, cupping his cheeks and turning him to face you. You huffed as you felt your chest tighten even more when you saw Steven's eyes glistening and his face downcast. "Till then, when all the world will be free. Please wait for me". Steven continued, his voice cracking at the end as he began to cry. In a panic, you both came to a halt and gently wiped away his tears,
"Oh darling, what's wrong?" you asked, not noticing that your eyes were also getting prickled by tears. Steven's hands held your head, his dark eyes staring at you as if he was afraid you'd vanish if he looked away.
"Why are you leaving me, love?" he asked, his voice quivering with heartbreak. His question caused your face to contort in confusion. What did he say? You weren't going anywhere, and if you were, where to? "No, Steven, I'm right here," you tried to console him, but he shook his head.
Steven was crying, and you had no idea how to comfort him because you didn't know why.
You kissed his forehead, drawing him close to you, and tried to stop him from crying. Steven sobbed as he hugged you tightly and buried his face in your neck. "I'm sorry, love, I shouldn't be acting this way," he said, his voice trembling and muffled.
You were so perplexed that you simply remained silent. What was going on? Why is Steven suddenly crying? Why was he asking you to stay when you were never going to leave—
It's alright, say your goodbyes to him.
When you heard an unfamiliar voice, your head jerked around. This increased your anxiety because you didn't understand anything. Steven tightened his grip on your back, holding your arm that was hugging his neck, his crying had subsided but he was still shedding tears. "I'm going to miss you," he whimpered.
"What are you saying, Steven?" You brought his face up to your level, his eyes puffy and his face damped. "Y-You're leaving....me," Steven hiccupped, his quivering mouth curled into a frown.
You chuckled nervously, "No, I'm not." You tried to prove him wrong, but something inside you told you that he was telling the truth. Steven forced a smile and nodded at you, "It's okay, love, I'm not mad." He wiped your hairs off your face and stared at you lovingly, as if this was the last time he'd get to look at you like this.
Steven gently wiped the single tear from your cheek. "So beautiful, you," he said, smiling, "The best gift I've ever had."
You dropped your head on Steven's shoulders with another call of the voice. "I'm sorry, Steven." You didn't know why your mouth moved unconsciously, as if it had its own mind. "I tried but couldn't; it was becoming more difficult for me." Now you were the one sobbing on his chest. "I want to stay with you, Steven, I really want to," you mumbled as you felt strangled. In response to your words, Steven took a deep breath and hugged you even tighter. The words you didn't know you were saying.
"I know, love, don't blame yourself," Steven said, looking up at the sky, not wanting to cry any longer. Your grip on him loosened as he backed away slightly, wanting to look at you again. "As much as I dislike saying it, perhaps this is for the best."
Listen to him; everything will be fine.
"For your sake, love, you're doing the right thing," Steven smiled sincerely, wrinkles forming on the sides of his deep dark eyes. You felt as if your legs were about to give way, closing your eyes as you still felt as if you knew everything and nothing at the same time. "I love you," Steven confessed, quickly closing the gap between your lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck, drawing him in for one last passionate kiss.
"I love you, I love you," you said again and again between breathless kisses. Steven hesitantly drew back and hugged you one last time, his hands securing you tightly, almost as if he was reconsidering your departure. You felt his chest pound against you while your surroundings suddenly shrank. Despite the fact that the world seemed to be closing in on you, Steven's touch gave you reassurance.
"Thank you for everything, darling, my Steven."
As you began to lose consciousness when your surroundings shrank and became engulfed in unexplainable darkness, your vision began to split in two and nearby noises became distorted, but before you passed out in Steven's arms, you audibly heard him hum one last time.
A now-familiar voice prompted you to slowly flutter your eyes open. The bright ceiling light that welcomed you was blinding your blurry vision, so you closed your eyes again for a few moments, gently rubbing them.
A quiet groan of discomfort escaped your mouth as your fingers met both of your watery eyes. Every time your hand moved in a different direction, there was a stinging sensation. You tried to recall why you were feeling dizzy and why your eyes felt like they had been staring at the sun for too long, but your thoughts were cut short by a faint melody playing beside you.
"Although there are oceans we must cross and mountains that we must climb,"
Regardless of how painful your eyes were, you fluttered them wide open and searched for the source of the music that was making your heart beat faster. Your reddish eyes were drawn to a record player with a disc that was playing the only song you considered to be music to your ears.
Your slightly parted lips curled into a smile as your hands rested on your heated chest. Your gaze was drawn to the record player on the table beside the couch you were sitting on, recalling the happy memories it brought. "Till then, let's dream of what there will be," You quietly sang along before turning your gaze to the woman in front of you.
"Hello, Ms. L/N, welcome back," greeted the woman wearing round pitch-black glasses, her wrinkled hands holding a large notebook that rested on her crossed legs. "Did you get a chance to say goodbye?"
The sincere smile on your face faded quickly and you settled your hand back on your lap.
"P-pardon?" you inquired, slightly perplexed as to what she was referring to. "To Steven?" the woman licked her lips as she quickly adjusted her glasses.
Steven? Why would you say goodbye to someone who isn't even here? And how did she come to know him? Your brow furrowed, and you stared at her, puzzled. The woman noticed how clueless you appeared to be about the situation, so she leaned in closer.
"I know every gain must have a loss,"
Before returning her gaze to you, the woman briefly glanced at the music that was still playing beside you. "Earlier today, I put you in a trance...with Steven," she began, and as those words left her mouth, you found yourself recalling events from a while ago.
"It was a way for you to get closure. You asked me to do it, and I assisted you."
"Help me with what?" you murmured, your eyes stinging once more. You asked her not because you didn't know the answer, but because you wanted to know if what you remembered about Steven was true or not.
The woman sighs and places her other foot on the carpeted floor, her face slightly downcast. "Mr. Grant, was..." She looked at you to see if she could go on, "He was involved in a terrible accident a few months ago."
"What?" you laughed incredulously, tears streaming down the sides of your cheeks. "Steven's probably at home, reading a book or doing a puzzle," you reasoned, hoping to prove her wrong.
"So pray that our loss is nothing but time,"
Your heart dropped as the woman slowly shook her head. "Mr. Grant is no longer with us, which is why you're here, Ms. L/N." She tried to comfort you by reaching for your hand, but you just stared at her with glossy wide eyes.
Her words rushed through your mind, not allowing you to fully comprehend them. It was as if your brain had shut down and all you could do was listen to the woman in front of you who seemed to be telling the truth.
Steven's at home....isn't he?
"Your grief was too much for you to bear, so your mind devised a way to cope with his loss; you told me that you frequently pass out and wake up to the promised day Mr. Grant never fulfilled, and every time you relive that whenever you yearn for him; it was becoming extremely unhealthy for you and the baby, which is why I decided to help you find closure. We've been doing this for weeks; may I ask if it worked this time?" The woman asked, her voice soft and patient.
Your brows raised in surprise as your dried mouth parted slightly, and you unconsciously found your hand gently resting on the small bump on your belly. "I..." you breathed, not knowing how to speak properly given the amount of information that had flooded your mind. You looked back at the woman who was ready to stand up if anything happens to you.
"Till then, we'll call on each memory,"
"It's fine, Ms. L/N. We can continue at another time—"
"No," you cut her off, pausing for a few seconds before returning your gaze to her worried expression. Fortunately, your mind has allowed things now to sink in properly for you to understand, and you believe you can continue with her topic without breaking down too much. "I...I'm not sure if it did," you muttered, unsure of your response. You didn't know if you'd successfully escaped the world you'd created.
It was a world where Steven and you went on the date he promised, which was also the date you planned to tell him you were pregnant. You wished you could have seen his reaction; he'd be thrilled to learn that he'd have a smaller version of himself. All you could do now was presume on how he would react.
"It's okay, we can try again next time," she said as she stood up to sit right next to you, still holding the notebook, "You should let it all sink in. Whenever we do the trance, you often wake up and forget everything." Venice gently grabbed your right hand and brought it to hers, inspiring you to look back at her.
Oh, she's right. You hadn't remembered her name until now.
"I'm here to help you, okay? You don't have to move on, just accept. A love like that can never fade away," Venice said as she gently squeezed your hand and smiled lovingly. Your lips began to quiver at her words, and you found yourself crying once more.
"Till then, when I will hold you again,"
You're not sure if you'll ever recover from his death or escape the reality you've created, but you'll try...for him and your child. You could've followed Steven months ago if you hadn't been pregnant, but knowing how he'd react, you chose to live your life for him. It just sucks that he left first and that it wasn't the cliché type of both of you dying of old age together, that's terrifying.
You closed your eyes as Venice drew you in for a warm embrace, and you shuddered at how you heard the song's final line before it ended. It was almost as if Steven himself had whispered it to you.
