Dreams

Journal for my unconscious mind getting in tuned with my conscious mind and some of my 'dreams'

[a-moonlit-poet]

When the sun was gone and the moon hadn't risen yet, darkness settled down on the riverbank.

Nobody came to this ruined place. Maybe that was the reason, nobody came to me as well.

I was more comfortable like this, in a place nobody came to find me, alone in total darkness.

I thought it would be nice if this moment never ended.

[disc80s]

conorhegyi

[mclyondreams]

I forgot to breathe there

[lilcowgirl7-deactivated20210223]

Sometimes my dreams are so vivid that I know there must be realms or timelines other than this one. Life unfolding someplace else. It actually makes me feel less hopeless. Have you ever dreamt you were kissing someone and you could feel the details of their mouth? How tf is it possible. Anyways class in an hour! Then work. Happy Monday

[mclyondreams]

The warmth of their hand leaving your hand.. Such grief and yearning tht I could never understand..

[andantegrazioso-deactivated2018]

British beauties | whatstacydid

[mclyondreams]

I dreamt abt choosing a converse-like boots. At first there were orange, brown tinted ones cos ir was the only ones left as I think I was the last one to pick. It was a navy blue outlined with yellow.. It was the only one of its kind and I wondered why didn't they go for it so I quickly took it while I had the chance. I'm sure it should have a set with a varsity like jacket but I only rmmbred putting on the shoes thn I was hvn trouble with tying the laces.. Thn I needed to choose a horse and I alrdy had an eye for the black silly one and tht was wearing my jacket.. A person told me tht tht horse wasn't for us to have as it was his, I assumed he was a mentor and he called the house frasia or frey or something.

I was in a office in a stable and there was a lion. I immediately had my attention to it. It was a female one but there was something different. Maybe it sad a juvenile cos it keeps on pouncing and playfully tryin to pin me down. The mentor said that she was a crossbreed but it rly didn't look like it..

The mentor guided me to the proper stables where everyone had alrdy chosen their stallions. I saw a paint horse, and a beige lookin one but was mostly preoccupied preoccupied with the lion. The mentor noticed and kinda understood tht I wasnt gonna have any horse and everyone was confused, disappointed and just basically unhappy tht I wasted ths opportunity..

I dont remember the wht happnd after tht but I got to mount a lioness with my uniform of navy blue and mustard yellow..

[mclyondreams]

I dreamt of a crocodile today..

I knew tht there were many of them in tht marshland kind of place. It was in my family's farm, I think, and we were supposed to be havn fun. Anyways, no one was being attacked but we were all being cautious still til I made a wrong observation and it was there right in front of me snapping thn chased me. I couldn't run tht fast enough so I hold back thn stomped at its stout instead of running away which thn it caught my left leg. I kept on kicking it but its bite weren't loosing up and it kept biting up, gettn more grip. I knew I won't escape ths as it was gon do the roll with me.

Idk how but I might have pressed something or I don't know wht I did but I "reseted" everything before the attack cos I couldn't bear the stress and pain while the croc's jaws' were havn a vry tight grip now on my thigh. And I was scared tbh. Evn tho I knew I was in a dream it made me feel the negative feelings evn more.

I don't know how I made it stop but whn it did I felt a huge sense of loss and guilt tht I couldn't find a way to overcome it. Thn I woke up.

I tried gettn bck to tht dream but I couldn't and got myself into an apocalypse kind of dream which I will not focus onto tht much cos I think it was just from a movie tht I was tryn to watch ystrday but fell asleep.

Crocodile

The dream interpretation of a crocodile is dishonesty, wisdom and freedom. As the crocodile lives on both water and land and are amphibious

So, rn I'm tryin to figure out what my croc dream means and it says tht it should be goodluck whn it attack you. It also says, tht it's a symbol of freeing ur emotions.

I kept tryin to escape from it cos it pains and stresses me and I could literally feel my heart beating and my head was kinda sweating. I was tryn to come up with ways on how to be free from it but instead executing this said ways, I did something tht made everything stopped ultimately. And whn it did, I felt a void inside of me.

Maybe I didn't try to run away from it but tht thing tht I did tht made it go away, maybe I'm doing it in waking life. I may have a habit of gettn into something thn whn I feel a great sense of heat or passion I get scared and stop. Instead trying the things in my head, I turn into how I might fail thn end up doing nothing.

And as I write ths now, I'm beginning to realize tht I shouldn't be scared of failing. I should be more scared of doing nothing and wonder what might be.

Ths should be a reminder that whenever an opportunity come or people ask me to go, I shouldn't be mkn up some excuses and just go, see whatever happens.

[mclyondreams]

Also had a dream earlier tlkin to Fran..

[mclyondreams]

13th September 2020

Dreamt abt gettn a job at a big warehouse like place, gin work from 10-11 on the weekends with closing up the facility, steels barrels, ocean machinery, an orca and some seals.. Thn tried to run on water.. Met ths big black guy who was in charge, with staff tht has a homey vibe and was goofing arnd.. I woke up cos I ran on the side and was choking turns out I was rly choking on my saliva haha.. I'm wide awake now..

[mclyondreams]

Quick write and hope I'd rmmber later cos I'm just on data and away from WiFi.. I woke up from a dream my grandmother was gonna ride a plane, a scene where I was drawing a sunrise thn shading it with red, and can't seem to rmmber the rest..

[mclyondreams]

20th August 2020

Instances tht I woke up between last night, ths morning and now.

One was I was havn a kart race with my old friends tht ended up with us being in the helicopter. I don't see myself physically maybe I was a spectator? I can see their faces clearly, JB was hangin outside with an instructor I think with safety harness attchd to them, she was tkn selfies. Melissa closed the door I now can't remember who was there but I know I'm dreaming of my T-Rex friends..

One was in a hospital like or care home like set of doors. My room was numberd 207 and Daemy's was 504 just nxt to mine. I thought she was there but whn I entered the room it was empty. There was a microwave and I opened it, it blew up and pwhite powder was all over the place.

One was I was boarding a plane otw to Cebu. The plane went high the dove down and made the cars jump.

One was in a marhsland with a boat trying to blow the floaty thingies on the way. There was ths black lady who kept undoing wht the black man was trying to do. She was from a native tribe. Thn I saw a head of an alligator and we got trapped in one of the floating huts.

Twice I dreamt I was in the sky today. It was so vivid. I could feel the adrenaline rushin whn the plane suddenly dropped and swooped down. I remember tht Airport cos I've been there in one of my dreams before. Even the marshland was familiar. Like from tht dream I escaped with a horse and tht one where I was swinging from tree to tree and tht one where it kinda flooded and I was riding a white bus.

Everything was vivid. Whn I woke up I was a bit worn out but not drained. I was drooling hahaha

[mclyondreams]

19th August 2020

Twice I rmmber waking up from different dream. I was pickin Amelia up and she was with a friend. I had to drop them on the friend's house, whn I got there, some hs mates like Ian, Clark, Marc and T-Rex was there. Shai, Jules, Jeff, Carlo, Erik, Frances, Kira, JB, Mel, Daemy, Jessa.. Their faces were ever so clear.. Idk wht they were doin, meeting like tht and planning some sort of thing. They're so happy to see me, I got confused cos ths was England. Maybe I'm missin thm way too much.

2nd time I woke up was her. She was crying cos she confessed tht when we were on tht Sports Day and the event was kite flying, she got her dad an xtra kite for me but she couldn't give it to me. She was crying cos she regret tht I couldn't have it. She was so fragile crying on my lap. I kissed her forehead and told her "it's okay" and she stopped. Why am I dreaming of her again? My first love? I hope she's keeping well.

[mclyondreams]

It's been 3nights I've been hvn very clear dreams. And by tht I mean the people's faces.

18th Aug 2020

I refuse to write ths first one I got as it was people who aren't rly good to me, to us.. But Imma mention their names here cos as much as I hate hearing their names and sayin it I absolutely will not let them have power over me.. Naomi my father's mistress, her sister Sarah.. My father's siblings whom I askd for help whn worse comes to worst, they turned a blind eye on my father's doing and at our most vulnerable state, turn their backs on me and my sister and brother. Cecil and Rudolph and Alvin was there I guess.. I think I should have written it anyways cos I can't rmmber it now..

It was I'm Bath, the setting. Sarah's backyard and she was askn me for the key to her house idk wht happened nxt. But the thing is I was tryin too protect my mom from the lot of them but they still manage to show up or more like we can't outrun them.. I don't think my mom was scared in my dream nor angry, just hurt and wnted to get out of there.. I was searching for Dennis, my father but he wasn't there. I know he was somewhere arnd in his car but he wasn't on tht scene.. I rly can't rmmber specific details now and imma stop writing before I might put wrong stuff.. But wht is I know evn whn I'm tryin to protect my family I can't evade those bad people. So, I'll just stop and face thm head on. I've been doin tht but I still have tendency to try and run away. Cos it fuckn hurts. But yeah..

[mclyondreams]

15.08.2020

I was a lion. In ths dream I had a mate. I was catching mice. I laced it around a rope and shaped it like 'infinity' like symbol. The one got stunned and my mate ate it. The otherwas trying to escape it went inside me but thn I noticed I wasn't a lion anymore as it was in my bum. I can feel it squirming and quickly trying to escape but thn I caught it. It's a dark grey mouse. I was holding on to it in front of me but I couldn't it eat. So I gave it to my mate. Whn I gave it I was bck to being a lion. Thn I woke up 05:12

[mclyondreams]

I dreamt of snow today..

I don't evn rmmber wht it was. All I know is tht there was snow falling.

It kinda makes sense, both the positive negative meaning I'm experiencing it at the same time.. I think I'm starting to have my feelings with my Trouble evanescing.. I want to hold on to it and like to have a litte bit more time cos it's the first time I chatted her for a month since I startd to avoid tlkn to her. But yeah..

And I kept tellin myself tht I won't stop long as she let's me be. Long as she doesn't say it. But I don't think she'd say it. So, maybe I rly do need to find a way to stop by myself..

It seems like I'm the only one in ths "movie" I've made up in my mind tht kind of vibe. And to think I'm the only one feeling these things solely is not right. I've reached a point with my many realizations tht I have rly fallen for her. It kinda makes me scared cos I think she doesn't feel the same way.. And it's okay.. I might've told myself evn from before tht there's a chance ths won't work out but I still didn't stop.

[mclyondreams]

I dreamt of cutting my palms with a knife cos I wnted to make a blood pact with ths man and woman tht whn we see each other the nxt tym, we'll do sumtin crazy. They kinda looked like Katja (from RED) and Prince Oberyn.

Then also on a different note, there was old native Indian (navajo I guess) lady who I was saving my phone number into her phone on WhatsApp. She kept smudging her eyes cos she got much (mura) eye boogers. Also, the door was getting blown violently by the wind as there is a storm outside. I thought it's gon be along night. I kept locking it with a slide lock, but it keeps on being blown open.. I wasn't angry or frustrated. I'm just concerned tht rain will make the floors wet but it nver did. I think it was my home back in gensan.. The back door was so vivid. Thn I went to the front and straddled this person with frizzy curly hair and dark skinned lady while singing my plans with. I think she was a friend and was messing with her..

[mclyondreams]

26.07.2020 03:27

I had a scary dream

I was watching I think superman or heny cavill standing on a ledge, looking down on a very tall building, wanting to jump. I was so close I can see the sweat on his face. It was third person angle. Then it switch to first person. Now I'm the one trying to jump. Not committing suicide no, but just contemplating whether or not to jump. I know I won't die tho. Anyways, I don't think I did cos there were some suited men on the helipad behind me (like bodyguards) arrived earlier on a chopper tht I just notice they were there and took my away from the platform. Not forcibly. Or maybe I didn't fight them

Then the scenes change completely to some guys in a van. The other one took some pill and made him this soul eater idk, he ate his brother's soul. They were fighting. I'm not sure if I'm inside the moving van with them but I can see wht happened. Idk who's driving. I can't remember why he took tht pull but I think it was a Halloween setting. Then I turned into that older brother who took thee pill. I broke out the van while the soulless brother clung and tried to beg me to give his soul back but the the thing is I don't think I ate it. It got left behind some road or flew away as we turn on a curve on some cliff (looks like the road whn travelling to Davao or my Californian cliff home).

I rushed out the van. It was like playing a game, the visuals. I kept running and running trying to find an antidote cos I know I went savage. I'm still me and can control my thoughts but my body felt hyped up, hungry for locomotion and 10x more of everything. Stronger, faster, agile, aware of surroundings, kinda wild. I found a lime green light as I look down ths said cliff in a middle of a forest and tried to reach it. See if it's something tht could help. I ran on fours I think. Kinda like a werewolf idk.

I was climbing trees, jumping from one to another. I couldn't touch the ground. Idk why. I wasn't supposed to. As I get nearer to the light, jumped on to ths tree where tarsier-looking critters lived. They got babies hanging on their backs and got angry at me for disturbing them but they got scare as well so they avoided me. As I was hanging on this branch, there was this carnivore, dog-like creature whose skin is peeling off from inside out, drooling, sharp teeth, terrible eyes, waiting for me to fall so he can eat me. I'm scared to jump and reach the other tree cos it was far. I think wht I did was used its head as a way for me to bounce and reach given tht I'm not allowed on the ground cos it was sacred (idk I'm ramblin, it's weird too). I got so scared tht I might get caught but didn't and got high from adrenaline.

I can finally see the orb emitting tht green light. I was crawling then squatted on the branch. It was circled by a white low fog tht's how I knew the reason why I wasn't supposed to touch this forest's soil. Cos it's alien to me and I it. I was looking for a way to get to it

Then I woke up at 02:20. Tired. Exhausted. Heavy chest. My arms and legs are tiny bit numb. My hands and feet are sore. Massive headache. Parched. But, maybe it's bcos I got intoxicated then fell asleep earlier.

[mclyondreams]

24.07.2020

You appeared agn in my dream. Idk why tho, maybe bcos the other whose name similar to you kept seeing ystrday or whn u say ohdearme tht rhymes ur name is the reason.

I rummaged through the fridge and was searchin for the soy curd tht I made for you. U kept it as u recieved one from me and one from him (J).

We were sitting on the corner of the end classroom facing the door. I was in the right armchair and u in the left. I wasn't sitting properly, more like leaning my back against the arm rest and my leg was hunched on ur side while u were slouching with ur head resting on ur arm and face in ur hands trying to stay a wake with the lecture were havin. You were caught up and thn slightly dozed off while ur brother came to pick u up, waited outside, annoyingly trying to get ur attention. So, I nudged u with my left knee and u got a bit surprised and lookd at me, I motioned my head outside pointing my chin to ur brother. I was amused cos it was irritating wht he was doin, pressuring u to leave the class so I smiled on the side while u told him he must wait to ur car and u'll get there whn we fnishd. He left. Classmates were invested on the lecture so they didn't rly cared with ur drama.

I held ur right hand and told u to hold on to it so tht everytime u'd doze off I'll squeeze it. When I do, u'd squeeze bck. Class ended and we both hurriedly put our shoes on and went out hand in hand. I was gon carry u cos u were tired but u insisted to walk. So we perused on the hallways, not caring for anyone who'd see u dragging me in hand. I like staying back just a little bit while u walk ahead of me cos I love the idea of u pulling my hand in urs.

There were kids playing as we cross thm and we got into their game of leapfrog I think. We got delighted cos they were askn as to pay to "see the results". We walked further and whn we reached the washing area, I pulled u to a stop cos we're nearing the gates. I looked u in the eye and asked u to come with ok this secluded area near the office, you complied. Now I was ahead of u and u're following my lead. Whn we reached tht hallway, I boxed u against the wall and u didn't move an inch. U knew.

I put my forehead on urs while still holding ur left hand. Nose to nose. Then I gave u a light kiss and breathed in. Pulled away with my eyes closed and swallowed. Again I tried as u reciprocate, I held ur other hand and guided it around my neck. It was a kiss with intensity and longing tht I felt I was abt to give in and melt. I rmmbred tht ur fam's waiting outside and tht someone might see us here so I smiled mid-kiss and bit ur bottom lip teasin back and rested my head with urs. We breathed in. I told u not say anything and just leave it as we walk towards the gate and u bid goodbye.

Then I woke up past 5am to write ths and went bck to sleep..