luomunäkki

melancholic/phlegmatic corvid appreciator

[tired-gay-deactivated20160526]

i wish there was more talk on tumblr about hypersexuality as a response to trauma, tbh. i see a lot of talk about asexuality and sex-repulsion due to trauma, but i rarely see people talk about the opposite. idk, its a difficult subject i suppose

[lilbittydragon-deactivated20241]

Hypersexuality as a result of trauma can happen because you start believing you’re not good for anything else but sex. Because you believe you can’t expect love without it. Because you believe sex is the only way anyone could possibly connect to others. Because sex is the only kind of intimacy you’re “any good at”. Because you don’t know how else to get attention. Because it’s easier to get sex than love. Because cuddling after sex is the only way you know how to get nonsexual physical touch. Because you’re high/drunk all the time. Because you have no libido/desire/attraction anymore and keep hoping that having sex will kickstart it. Because you’re good at sex and it’s the only way to get recognition and respect. Because you were told that you’re “bad at sex” and you feel ashamed and are trying to “get better at it.” Because you have flashbacks if you abstain from sex. Because you feel wordlessly desperate/scared/anxious if you don’t have sex for a certain period of time. Because you associate sex with danger and you don’t believe you’re allowed to be safe. Because you feel so bad so much of the time that sex/orgasm is the only way to calm down or feel good anymore. Because you’ve been re-targeted by other abusers/perpetrators who can tell you don’t know how to say no. Because you’re still with your abuser/rapist/perpetrator and the only way to prevent “worse” violence is to initiate sex. Because sex is physically or emotionally painful for you and you’re using sex to self-harm. 

Hypersexuality after trauma is way more common than anyone wants to believe, and it can happen for so, so many different reasons. These are just a few. 

[apostle-of-sapphos]

I’m a sex-repulsed/touch-repulsed CSA survivor and it’s always made me sick how my trauma was validated because of that and then to watch others be disparaged because they ended up with a hypersexuality as a result of their trauma.

There’s no such thing as a “worthy” victim, we shouldn’t have to prove ourselves to gain access to resources and compassion and I’m so sorry for anyone who has endured that.

[sircuitgirl-deactivated20230617]

Here’s another horrifying aspect of this phenomenon: women joining prostitution/porn/camming/kink after men abuse them. This is an abstract from one study:

 “A study of 200 juvenile and adult street prostitutes documented extremely high levels of sexual child abuse in their background. Sixty percent of the subjects were sexually exploited by an average of two people each, over an average period of 20 months. Two-thirds were sexually abused by father figures. The abuse had extremely negative emotional, physical, and attitudinal impacts. Seventy percent of the women reported that the sexual exploitation definitely affected their decision to become a prostitute. The others reflected the influence in their open-ended comments. Findings make a unique contribution to both the studies of the antecedents to prostitution, and the long-term impacts of sexual child abuse.”

 Source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0145213481900508

[left-reminders]

They still do exploit literal children in colonized countries

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

Neocolonialism is big cringe and more leftists in the imperial core should consider it in these discussions. The capitalist class NEVER stopped using slave labor, child labor, etc., it was simply outsourced...

[cripples-r-us]

Not to mention the kids under 18 trapped in our carceral system working for nothing or nearly nothing. Last year some of the prison labor used to fight the forest fires in california were as young as 16.

[antlerology-deactivated20260312]

Just a few of the stories my great aunt told me about women in the 60s:

1) A woman she worked with at the hospital who had a baby with one of the ambulance drivers. When work found out they fired her (he kept his job). She tried to self-abort with a knitting needle.

2) The sister of one of her neighbours who wasn’t able to rent a room because she was a ‘fallen woman’.

3) A girl who got sent to a convent house and scrubbed floors until the day she gave birth. Her baby was given up for adoption without her consent.

4) Girls who had babies with priests.

5) Women who were on their fifth, sixth, seventh child, who had been pregnant for the best part of a decade, begging for sterilisation because their husbands wouldn’t wear a condom.

Banning abortion has never ever stopped it from happening. It’s just meant more stigma, more prejudice, more risks and more deaths.

[daisydeadhead]

In 1962, my mother was going thru a divorce, got pregnant and knew this fact would be used to deny her divorce (they used to do that, in case you didn’t know).  

My mother was given a “shot”; she lived 3 blocks from the doctor.   He never told her what it was, likely an “overdose” of progesterone, which is how they used to “induce menstruation” in a hurry (i.e. abortion off the books).  She was about 7-8 weeks by her estimation.  He said, GO STRAIGHT HOME, go to bed and stay there.  She walked fast, but nearly collapsed at the curb and my grandmother went out to guide her into the house.  She went to bed, stayed there and bled steadily and heavily for 3-4 days.  She said it was like being very very sick, headaches, nausea, vomiting… and then, gone.  

She never let me forget this and took me to my first NARAL meeting when I was 15 yrs old.  And here I am today, in my 50s–and I still remember my grandmother’s scary account; my mother swaying, literally, at the curb, and nearly falling, under the strength of that one shot.  

How did she get the doctor to do it? She told him, “If you don’t, I will do it myself”–and if you knew my mother, you knew she meant it.  She would have.  After all, lots of women she knew had.  

This is what they want to take us all back to, the fucking middle ages.  Please remember.  

[morinover]

The cost of denying women abortions is women’s lives. Nothing “Pro life” about it.

[mrspankhurstsraspberryjam]

Men really do choose not to see how much they damage the women they brush past in life when then only see nice tits, a pert ass, a pretty face and fail to see her humanity. When a woman has what makes her special, that she's a brilliant artist or has an incisive wit or maybe is the smartest person they will ever meet ignored, overlooked, denied enough she starts to regard herself the way she is reflected back to her. A girl of 15 who really could in a literal way change the course of history begins to see herself as she is reflected back to herself, especially by the ones she most desperately wants to fall in love with her uniqueness, her soul. And she lies to herself a little, she says if I have the pert ass, the big tits with tiny pink nipples, if I have the face of an airbrushed actress or model face he will want me and then he will fall in love with who I really am. But more often than not he never does, and none of the hes to come will either and by that time she will have invested so heavily in the facade that her uniqueness, her soul, her light gets lost, it gets extinguished, it gets forgotten. And that only leaves the shellac and photoshop. Women get consumed. And I don't know how to stop it. Not for myself or the 11 year old goddaughter I love as my own.

[meadpeach]

why are 99% of tumblr so angry and unempathetic?

[meadpeach]

it's so fucking funny that usa dwellers use a petroleum byproduct to wank

[gentle-human]

They're right and they should say it

[transgenderjordanpeterson]

Are you shitting me

[opabiniawillreturn-deactivated2]

have these people ever read a history book? POWs would be ashamed

[celtyradfem]

This is a serious mental illness

The obsession with individualism is insane

[finnishrogue]

wait, ok so... just checking, does this person think it’s psychological warfare to not treat a 60-year-old grandpa like a 10-year-old girl if he identifies as such? or that it’s torture to acknowledge Rachel Dolezal’s whiteness?

if not addressing someone’s “individuality” is equivalent of torture, then surely... it applies to other things than gender too, right?????

[meadpeach]

misgendering isn't denying someone's individuality or humanity, calling a man a woman or vice versa isn't dehumanizing. it's something that happens on an individual level, and while it may be abusive, it's not a fucking war crime or whatever

[antiplondon]

My dad's a sex offender. Can people like him change? - BBC Three

Becky Southworth was 13 when her dad was arrested for sex offences against children. He spent 10 years in prison for his crimes - and part of his sentence was for crimes against Becky.

“If you’ve ever been affected by anything like sexual abuse, you know you don’t ever fully recover. And you would never want anybody to feel the way that you have.

“It wasn’t until my dad had done 10 years of his sentence that I realised he’d have to be released some day and I might see him again.”

Becky was told her dad completed a sex offenders’ treatment programme while in prison - the same one that was scrapped in 2017 because there were findings that said it actually led to more reoffending.

“When I found that out I had to ask, ‘should this person be released?’” she says.

“It’s terrifying. I don’t know if he’ll do it again.”

Becky’s dad is now out of prison but she doesn’t have a relationship with him. She says she didn’t feel as though she could speak to him but, in her documentary Can Sex Offenders Change?, she speaks to others who have committed similar crimes about why they did it and the treatment they’ve been through.

This comes as reports of child abuse images online have increased by almost 50% during lockdown, according to the Internet Watch Foundation.

In the documentary, Becky, 26, speaks to Andrew*, who is on the Sex Offender Register for 10 years for downloading indecent images of children.

He was convicted with almost 80,000 indecent images of children on his computer.

Like a lot of people who’ve been convicted of looking at sexual images of children he’s not been to prison.

Andrew agreed to meet Becky in a car in an isolated location where he could see who was approaching. He told her about a time recently when he accidentally walked past a children’s paddling pool party where some of the children were naked.

“I make sure that I don’t put myself in difficult situations,” he says. “But sometimes they find you.”

Andrew, who says he experienced some form of sexual abuse as a child, told Becky that pedophilia was “normal” to him.

“I lived every day with it and as such it was my normal life,” he says.

Becky admits it was a “surreal” experience to interview and get to know Andrew while making the documentary.

“I was very aware that the person in front of me had done this horrific thing.

“And the very first time I met Andrew, I just felt sick and wanted to get out of the car. My gut instinct was to hate him. It took so much for me to stay and listen.”

In the documentary, Becky reacts to Andrew’s explanation about his own childhood sexual abuse: “This idea that the abused becomes the abuser, I just can’t comprehend that. I can’t comprehend knowing the pain that I felt, why would you then want someone else to feel that way?

“I just can’t accept that as an excuse.”

It is five years since Andrew was caught with images of children being sexually abused and he’s been having therapy for 18 months.

He attends two sessions of psychotherapy per week with an organisation called StopSO.

His therapist, Michele, offers specialist trauma-based psychotherapy. He treats both perpetrators and victims of abuse.

“There are events in the life of everyone where something can trigger and you find yourself re-enacting what probably has been done to you,” the therapist says. “But through the work that we do, we try to do our best [to make sure] that doesn’t happen.

“Up to now, as far as I know, no clients have reoffended.”

In the documentary, Michele also discusses the link between porn addiction and viewing illegal child sexual abuse images.

“There are people that start with normal porn and then through becoming porn-addicted, because most of the time there is also porn addiction in place, they want to know more, they want to see more and then they find themselves in this situation.

“And so they start to develop other interests.”

Later, Becky met 22-year-old Kyle*. He was 19 when he was arrested for possession of indecent images of children. He was 13 when he started to look at images of children being sexually abused.

“I worked out that because I was so isolated I was feeling very depressed,” he says. “I was using imagery and harmful sexual thoughts to make myself feel good at the time.

“It was a build up. The original stuff I was looking at wasn’t effective any more. So I then moved onto the next step, to something slightly worse and worse until it reached that point because that was what was giving me the adrenaline rush.

"I knew it was wrong but when you’re in that moment you don’t think rationally.”

Continue reading here

[appropriately-inappropriate]

If victims were most inclined to reoffend, most paedophiles and child rapists the world over would be female.

They aren’t. Therefore, the root cause isn’t their victimization, it’s their socialization.

[godlessheathenhippie]

[diablosita-blog]

The Best Birth Control In The World Is For Men by Jon Clinkenbeard

If I were going to describe the perfect contraceptive, it would go something like this: no babies, no latex, no daily pill to remember, no hormones to interfere with mood or sex drive, no negative health effects whatsoever, and 100 percent effectiveness. The funny thing is, something like that currently exists.

The procedure called RISUG in India (reversible inhibition of sperm under guidance) takes about 15 minutes with a doctor, is effective after about three days, and lasts for 10 or more years…

Oh, and when you do decide you want those babies, it only takes one other injection of water and baking soda to flush out the gel, and within two to three months, you’ve got all your healthy sperm again.

The trouble is, most people don’t even know this exists. And if men only need one super-cheap shot every 10 years or more, that’s not something that gets big pharmaceutical companies all fired up, because they’ll make zero money on it (even if it might have the side benefit of, you know, destroying HIV).

[spacereblogsthings-deactivated2]

signal boost 

[beerinabox-deactivated20150120]

DUDE

[mustangheart]

dude

[gottawork-out-blog]

dude

[musingsandmurder]

DUDE

[cydie]

can this replace the normal contraception methods we have pls

[mx-zaftig]

This has existed for YEARS. They ran an article about it in WIRED magizine but I don’t think anyone read it .-.

[emilynstoryweb]

Maybe more reblogs then?  Up to a million at least.  We have this technology to get the word out and change the world.

[roaringstream]

the problem with this contraceptive is that its perfect. One shot every 10 years? A single injection costs way less than your average IUD? Thats a lot less money for other contraceptive companies to be losing over that time. Essentially its not super profitable unless someone picks it up and inflates the hell out of the price. At which point it wont be as accessible.

Basically capitalism sucks and I blame it for essentially hiding this for the past 3 decades

[greenwire]

The reason why you haven’t heard of it isn’t because of a conspiracy, it’s because clinical trials are still ongoing. Clinical trials take decades, especially if you’re trying to prove that your treatment is effective for a decade. It may be approved in India soon, but every country has (or should have) its own oversight body to approve medical treatments for the population.

A similar product was developed by US researchers after they purchased a patent for it in 2015 (that’s what the Vice article linked above is referring to) but it doesn’t last for years: scientists behind the R&D estimated that it would last about 14 months. And by the way, that was an animal study. From three years ago. The leap from animal to human study is not negligible nor something to be made rashly.

And patents don’t have to actually work to be filed. You can file a patent and list the things that your idea COULD do. There doesn’t have to be anything backing this up. The only thing that keeps patents somewhat realistic (in the scientific sense) that if your idea doesn’t work or can’t produce anything useful, it costs around six figures to file all your patents internationally and you’re wasting money if you can’t use the idea for anything.

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

Noah fence, but even if this comes out on the market and is accessible, if you think I’d trust men for a second to actually have had the procedure done, there is no fucking way. Men are liars, men are impatient, men would rather risk impregnating a woman when neither of them want kids than to have to wait more than a day to get his sperm back just in case he changes his mind.

Condoms and vasectomies already exist. Reversible, no hormones, 98-100% effective, and to my knowledge little chance of negative health effects. But men? Endless fucking whining about condoms making sex ever so slightly less pleasurable, and they just pretend vasectomies don’t exist. I’m supposed to trust they’d actually make use of something like this should it come out? I don’t. You know what they would do with it, though? They’d get the treatment, intentionally get into a relationship with a woman who’s stated she wants children, and when she can’t get pregnant, he just wouldn’t admit to having the procedure and let her think she was infertile. Some men already do that with vasectomies.

I’m not against a procedure like this existing for men, but for fuck’s sake make one for women too.

[meadpeach]

in utopia it'd be like a vaccine? every man has it regularly (not bc they're forced but bc it's obviously beneficial), unless he's decided with his partner to have kids, then a reversal shot. it all would be confirmed in your medical files.

or maybe that's too totalitarian.

but yeah, hoping the market forces won't ruin this one

[meadpeach]

meghan murphy's voice 😍😳💞✨

[meadpeach]

my comfort food is beans bc they were the base of my food pyramid while i was a vegetarian still living with my mom and recovering from a dep episode

[northw0man-deactivated20201019]

we talk about how god-awful being a female in patriarchal society is, what with having to live under a system of male violence and what not, but we don’t talk about how also nauseatingly, mind-numbingly, utterly boring it is. We need to talk about that more.

[northw0man-deactivated20201019]

work is boring, school is boring, degree programs are boring, shopping is boring, insipid self-policing girlfriends are boring, men more so, museums are boring, commuting is boring, cleaning is boring, the bank is boring, politics are boring, community involvement is boring, parties are boring, bars are boring, lectures are boring, weddings are boring, religions and church are boring, poverty is boring, wealth is boring, fashion is boring, TV is boring, movies are boring, bureaucracy is boring, talking is boring, silence is boring, music is boring, social media is boring, outside is boring, sports are boring, activism is almost always boring, volunteering is boring, the news are boring, dating is boring, sex is boring, cooking is boring, literally so many of these things don’t have to be boring but they are, and if you’re a woman with any amount of consciousness, you almost have to self-lobotomize to find any of it tolerable. I think part of the work of women’s liberation is to make living our lives interesting.

[radfem-moira]

“Depression is commonplace among women because housework is boring, sex is boring, cooking is boring, children are boring, and the woman resents being bored but cannot change it. Depression is commonplace among women because women are often angry at the conditions of their lives, at what they must do because they are women, at the way they are treated because they are women; and depression truly is anger turned inward. Depression is commonplace among women because a woman’s life is often a series of dead ends, joy in which is the measure of femininity.“

- Andrea Dworkin

[northw0man-deactivated20201019]

“Life in a ‘society’ made by and for creatures who, when they are not grim and depressing are utter bores, can only be, when not grim and depressing, an utter bore.”

- Valerie Solanas

[pothead-paisan]

“… a woman’s life is often a series of dead ends, joy in which is the measure of femininity.“

[meadpeach]

life in this society being, at most, an utter bore, and no aspect of society being at all relevant to women,

[peachcookie]

hot new tumblr discourse

put in the tags your opinions on wearing shoes in the house and why

[meadpeach]

recovering from disordered eating is so wacku like now i can eat sweets but i can't eat them before noon, close enough? i mean i don't want to start my day with an insulin spike! i eat breakfast but nooo i surely don't need BOTH a sandwich and muesli, i'm fine 😄

telling ed thoughts apart from common sense and reason is so impossible, and once you cut out one rule, another pops right up without you noticing

[eli-wray-deactivated20210322]

This is my new favorite book ever on gender studies. They're not exaggerating with the framing of it being groundbreaking/next wave shit. Quite accessible too, reading level-wise anyway. It is foundationally and fully outside identity politics framework fyi.

[trans-activists-are-mras]

Oh yes. Groundbreaking.

"Getting fucked makes you female because fucked is what a female is." - Andrea Long Chu

He goes on for paaaages about his "sissy porn" addiction so I won't post it here, it's vomit inducing. Some more quotes about us "females" :

The cosmetic miracle and walking advertisement he's talking about :

Of course a mediocre sexist pervert will not only get his mansplaining published but also be quoted by Netflix

and be invited to give pseudo intellectual lectures about his disgusting fetishes.

So if this trash is your favourite book I don't know what to tell you.

[meadpeach]

how dare he disrespect solanas by associating her name with this crap

[yooterus-deactivated20220126]

So yeah, men are fucking evil and she should divorce him and take every penny he has ❤️

[thatkindoffeminist]

People in the notes think that this man is trolling or lying. I miss when I had that much faith in men.

Men are more likely to leave their wife when she's ill. You really think that there isn't a man out there who would do this?

[yooterus-deactivated20220126]

Do you have the link to this post?

[thatkindoffeminist]

Link

[yooterus-deactivated20220126]

OhhhhOOHUOOo he better strap the fuck in

[the-sword-and-the-dagger-deacti]

Reminds me of all those stories of women with breast cancer coming home to an empty house. I try to see every human as having the same capacity for emotion but....I couldn’t imagine leaving my wife because she got sick, or abandoning her in her time of need or, gods forbid, valuing her specifically for her reproductive capabilities like this. 

[yooterus-deactivated20220126]

There are stories of women with breast cancer coming home to empty houses????? What the fuck, so their husbands just up and left and took everything with them?

[the-sword-and-the-dagger-deacti]

https://pinklotus.com/powerup/insidethejourney/divorced-due-to-breast-cancer/

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/30/the-men-who-give-up-on-their-spouses-when-they-have-cancer

https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/health/620834/we-survived-cancer-but-our-marriages-didnt/

Didn’t take stuff, only themselves. I wish I remembered where exactly I read the line came home to an empty house, I know it was in a feminist book, but I don’t remember which. 

[yooterus-deactivated20220126]

Oh my god

[iloveleslove]

From the second link:

“Hurd’s partner’s gripe came when she stopped wanting to have sex. He started to have tantrums that she wasn’t showing him enough affection after her mastectomy. He began to accuse her of cheating on him; berated her for neglecting his needs; even cut her off his health insurance at one point – arguing that she was “treating him like a housemate”. Hurd started taking painkillers and having sex with him which she says made her feel like a blow-up doll, but she didn’t feel she had another choice.”

Can you imagine cutting your spouse, who is literally battling cancer and recovering from a recent surgery, off from your healthcare plan, forcing a cancer patient to be without any kind of health insurance, because she isn’t having sex with you after going through an incredible invasive and traumatic surgery? I feel ill. What the absolute fuck.

Also, that article cited a study that showed in the cases of a someone leaving their spouse after a cancer diagnosis, men were 7 times more likely to leave than women. And even when it doesn’t end in divorce, the men still often expected their wives with cancer, undergoing chemo, to keep up on their housework. That health insurance one though just really got to me.

[yooterus-deactivated20220126]

Men are trash ❤️❤️

[finnishrogue]

My mom is no feminist but oh boy does she get pissed off every time she remembers her old female friend who got cancer. Her husband and father of several children immediately left her and got remarried with another woman within a year after the cancer diagnosis. That woman did die of the cancer eventually, but she survived for several more years and struggled that whole time completely alone, without her husband and without her kids. Because everyone in their immediate circle of friends were close to both the husband and the wife, they asked the husband why he had done it, and he simply said:

“She was no longer a woman.”

I have never heard any more details from the story, but I always remember my mom’s face as she told me the story. She is the kindest soul I have ever met in my life and the least violent person you could ever imagine, but I can bet she wanted to strangle that bastard every time she remembered him.

Not a woman anymore? Oh yes she was a woman. She was the same person, the same human being he had “fallen in love with” originally. But not the kind of woman men think women are: household slaves, baby-making machines, sexy objects to be fucked and bossed around. She immediately lost her “womanhood” in his eyes because she no longer could be her servant and sex slave.

Marriage to men really is the worst thing that could happen to women.

[meadpeach]

you know all those stories where the girl finds her true love / saves her lover/husband/father/brother(s) / becomes a princess or the good, respectable girl through self-sacrifice / enduring physical or mental pain? patriarchal propaganda.