This sounds like the theme song to a sitcom in the 90s-00s. Super cute #bestoftiktok

tannertan36
KIROKAZE

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Cosmic Funnies
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Three Goblin Art
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

izzy's playlists!
YOU ARE THE REASON

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Show & Tell
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

Origami Around
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@guyuusha
This sounds like the theme song to a sitcom in the 90s-00s. Super cute #bestoftiktok
I don’t think there should be an upper limit to the size of toads
a 20 year old toad should be something I could ride
It would just eat you ?
I have kept pet toads they are not difficult to outsmart
i genuinely can't fucking deal with the larger internet anymore holy shit what the fuck are you people TALKING about. i am at my limit with this stupid bullshit. who the fuck cares if a man is hired to draw medical diagrams for young girls jesus christ we're pearl clutching about medical illustrations now? next you're gonna tell me male pediatricians shouldn't advise parents on their kids' vulva issues? male surgeons shouldn't be in the room when performing a procedure where a woman's breasts or vulva might be exposed? male researchers shouldn't conduct gynecological medical research? sure. better for men to live in ignorance and NEVER ally themselves with us to expand access to sexual education and reproductive healthcare i fucking guess. Twenty thousand likes. i hate it here KILL ME
THIS is the post that got me my first ever anon hate. i'd like to thank the academy tbh
also not related but can ppl on this post being like "yeah STOP being mean to men!!" pls stop cuz that's not the point of what i was saying 💀 i'm not mad bc someone was mean to a man i'm mad bc feminism is being hijacked by bioessentialist conservative Christian moralist bullshit where the goal seems to be the complete and total segregation of women from men instead of like, the material improvement of women's lives. i don't care if some intsta commenter is mean to men i care that feminism is culturally turning into Nu Conservatism
The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me
This is painfully American
Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem
The oldest living tree ever found was a pine named “Prometheus.” It had been alive since before the Egyptian pyramids were built. Some guy cut it down in 1964. Source
he was actually a forestry graduate student who was doing research on bristlecone pines (Pinus langaevea) and got his increment borer stuck in the tree. this tool costs almost $800, so he asked the forest service if he could cut down the tree to recover the tool. after cutting it down, it became apparent that the tree was actually the oldest living organism. ever. (around 8,000 years old). so, not just some asshole. the guy feels extremely guilty and has even broken down in tears during an interview about the accident
OH MY GOD SO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So after the grad student cut down the tree and discovered it was the oldest tree in the world he quit studying forestry and went to study salt flats (can’t cut down the oldest trees in the world on salt flats no siree none of that happening) and he was being interviewed about his research, but in the middle of the interview the reporter just stops and says “wait aren’t the guy that…”
And he just takes off running. Literally. Turns around and runs across the salt flats away from the interview and I feel so bad for him but I can’t help but start crying I’m laughing so hard about it imagine a guy high tailing it across salt flats away from a dude with a recorder
its so different to know it was an accident and that NO ONE was aware until after. its not like this was one ignorant guy cutting down a fucking relic.
its been 6 months and im still not over this. easily best and most hilarious play in baseball history
for those who dont really understand:
-the first baseman had no reason to chase Baéz, if he just stepped on the bag he was automatically out
-theres two outs, so if hes out, the inning is over. even if the runner on second base gets home, the run doesnt count. its not until hes safe at first that the run scores
-theres no specific rule in baseball about running backwards from first, just that you “cannot retreat to home base” meaning so long as if you dont touch the plate, its fine
-Baéz ran backwards to kill enough to get the run to score, and then stole and extra base on the base on the bad throw
-HE TOOK THE TIME TO UMPIRE HIS OWN PLAY AND CALL SAFE
what a fucking sport yall
@fractaldunes
Javier Baéz’s nickname according to those announcers is El Mago which is spanish for The Wizard
Well earned
love how the explanations do not help at all
Let me see if I can break this down a little more.
Javier Báez (the batter, a Chicago Cub, wearing blue) has just hit the ball. His job is now to run around the bases - 1st, 2nd, 3rd, back to where he started (“home”), at which point he will have scored a point. In practice, he will probably stop partway, wait for the next batter to get a hit, and try to make it home from there.
The Pittsburgh Pirates (in white) are fielding. Their job is to stop the Cubs from scoring by getting them out, by various combinations of catching the ball and tagging people or bases with it.
The scoreboard (top left) shows that one Cub has already made it to second base, so he will resume running now that Javy has a hit. It also shows that two Cubs are out. If a third Cub gets out, their turn to bat will be over, it will be the Pirates’ turn to bat, and the Cubs can’t score anymore (for now, but that’s not relevant).
The Pirate at first base (the first baseman) has the ball. All he needs to do is step on first base while holding it before Javy gets there, and Javy is out. This is probably the number one most common thing a first baseman has to do.
He does not do it.
For some reason he starts chasing Javy, presumably trying to tag him with the ball directly. This is a perfectly legitimate way of getting him out, but also completely unnecessary.
This has never happened to Javy before. Unsure what else to do, he just kind of… jogs backwards away from him.
Meanwhile, the Cub who was at second base (Contreras) has made it all the way back to home. Because the Pirates’ first baseman has helpfully walked the ball back home, he can easily toss it to the Pirate at home (the catcher) who will tag Contreras out.
The catcher doesn’t tag him in time.
The umpire signals that Contreras is safe (not out).
Javy also signals that Contreras is safe, just for fun. He’s never been nearby when a teammate makes it home before, and he’s enjoying himself.
Notice that the score has not changed, even though Contreras made it home. That’s because Javy is still technically running to first base. If he gets out before he reaches it, the Cubs’ turn to bat is over, and nothing else that’s happened since he hit the ball matters.
Javy remembers this, and heads back to first base. The catcher throws the ball to another Pirates fielder, who is frantically running to do the first baseman’s job.
He doesn’t catch it.
Javy is safe at first. Contreras scores (although the scoreboard won’t change for a second).
Javy notices how far away that ball landed, and decides he can make it to second base before anyone picks it up and tags him out.
An offscreen Pirate throws the ball to second base, where another Pirate is ready and waiting to catch it, tag Javy out, and end the Cubs’ turn to bat.
He doesn’t catch it.
Javy is safe at second. The video doesn’t show it, but he will go on to score as well.
This should have been a very easy out for the Pirates, but through two dropped catches and one truly bizarre decision from the first baseman, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and turned it into two points for the Cubs.
The Cubs won this game by two points.
getting my little goblin minions to punch and stab me in the middle of the grocery store to try and whittle me down to half health so i can assume my final boss form and reach the top shelf
i don’t trust them with that power…
You let your minions stack on each other's shoulders to reach high shelves, the next thing you know they're solving complicated logic puzzles involving the coordinated use of their idiosyncratic personal weapons and learning important lessons about teamwork under pressure, and we all know where that ends.
i find it funny when people put utena characters in tomodachi life . like girl No you’re putting them back into narratives and false worlds 😭
i had a twisted dream this morning when my alarm tried to wake me up where jeff goldblum said 'Actually if you sleep a bit Longer you'll have More time to get ready It's called the Goldblum's Law and it works just go back to sleep' and i believed him and i overslept
hey boss sorry im late. i got Goldblumed
Texts that aren't great to get from your mechanic
let's make a stone statue and beat it with chains
sponge bob square pants!
My gf loves playing with my dick in bed because it's "like a little fidget toy"
Normal sized fidget toy
here's a random word generator--whatever word it gives you is now the thing you are the deity of
I woke up early and Vice strongly believes this means he should get breakfast early also
Time for very ominous biscuits.
Vice has accepted that he is going to starve and just wants me to know that he's a very good boy. Very good.
Wait hang on oh my god it's actually breakfast time it's really really happening, nobody freak out
Belly full of kibbles.
uh mom you said this red string is attached to our soulmate. "Oh yes darling it's how I met your father." "Well then what does the blue and green strings mean?" "What their shouldn't be any other strings." "So by that I'm assuming I shouldn't have one on every finger in different colors."