I’ve been dating my boyfriend now for not quite a month. In fact, we met either November 15th or 16th. I cannot say just exactly how he has made everything better and makes me feel appreciated.
My ex always wanted me to pay for things, but wouldn’t pay himself at all ever. He still owes me money from what he’s borrowed from me. Unless he was getting something for himself, he didn’t really acknowledge my needs.
And not a week after I moved (planning for him to follow), he was getting together with a girl I later discovered to be his ex, that stalked and harassed me when we first got together.
I’m not even heartbroken. The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference, and for once, I actually understand why. When he first got back with her, I was simply pissed, as it seemed disrespectful. Now, I honestly don’t care. When I got with my boyfriend, he started messaging me more, and sharing how much “everyone loves” her and her kid. He’s telling me plans they’re making (which I know won’t happen unless she pays), and seems almost desperate for a bitter/heartbroken response. Apparently, he doesn’t get that I just don’t care. He had access to my Amazon account and made comments about things I was buying, and seemed bothered when I ignored the items he looked at and put in my cart.
I’m amused that he’s trying for a response that I cannot be bothered to give him. He isn’t worth it. I wouldn’t be typing this, except I literally got 5 messages from him before I came into work. Seriously.
My new boyfriend, however, has been nothing but nice and sweet and I’m literally holding back the “I love you” phrase because it hasn’t even been a month. But I’m falling. I’m gone. He occupies so many of my waking thoughts and I just smile when I see a text or email from him. I’ve already met his parents and step dad. His mere touch sends shivers down my spine, and I’m terrified of how I feel. “I Won’t Say I’m in Love” has been running through my head for over a week now. I want to wait until his touch becomes more common. Maybe it won’t make me feel the same. Maybe this is just the “Start of a new love” reaction. So I’ll wait. And in the mean time, I’ll probably fall some more.