I am laugh at my own joke kind of funny

Art and personal blog of contractsandsyringes 🌈17 - Lesbian 🌈Header by jaybunny on discord icon by astrolestial

[cloudgazingastronaut]

Snape is a big fucking mood

[supreme-harry-potter]

Merula: *pushes Rowan and me into the devil’s snare closet*

Devil’s Snare:

[gahdamnpunk]

Always breaks my heart reading about things like this. We must remember her name

[staywokejusticeequality]

Clara B. Williams

[billclintonsbeemilk]

Pedophiles don’t belong in the LGBT community. Go die in a fire. You are not welcome.

[beyondbeerus]

Actually we do because lgbt is about celebrating the weird/taboo so yeah

[modernwolfman-deactivated201811]

nope. nope. no it’s not. that’s incredible homophobic/transphobic. you don’t belong in the lgbt community.

[cuteiemonster]

Please unfollow me if you believe pedophilia counts as a group in the LGBT+ community

actually, if you’re a pedophile please unfollow me. I don’t want that shit any where near me

[lavidaextraordinaria]

What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us?

[frenchshower]

My science teacher said he thinks that’s true actually

[thepioden]

Yeah this is actually pretty much exactly what is going on. It’s why anti-oxidants are such a big deal. Bonus fact: oxygen oxidizes stuff in your cells or, in other words, it’s not toxic, just setting you on fire very very slowly.

[sarah-mcelroy-deactivated202601]

[femonologue]

What if there are aliens out there but they subsist on entirely different substances and they’re just scared as shit of us and our crazy ass hell planet? Once in a while some alien anthropologist type suggests checking out the people on this inhabited planet out towards the galaxy’s edge. The other aliens just look at the naive academic with horror. No!! We do not go to that world. That is where the DEATH BREATHERS live. They recreationally consume poisons and are more or less composed of biological fire. Their atmosphere is made of rocket fuel. We must leave the DEATH BREATHERS in peace. Do not go there. Do not.

[optimysticals]

I tend to always reblog posts about humans being terrifying weirdos to aliens.

[alessariel]

@brainsforbabyjesus

[brainsforbabyjesus]

okay but…that is actually what went down on earth about 2.5 billion years ago.

Earth was doing just fine with a mostly nitrogen/carbon dioxide atmosphere and everyone was happy to go on living in anaerobic bliss and then cyanobacteria suddenly hit the scene, altered the atmosphere composition so that there was a ton of oxygen gas and killed practically everything (97% or more of all species on earth).

We are literally descendants of the DEATH BREATHERS and cyanobacteria is our deadly mother.

[digitaldiscipline]

The cyanobacteria holocaust is so big, it doesn’t even have a cool name; it’s just called “The Great Oxygenation Event”; the *second* most apocalyptic extinction event in our planet’s history is the one that’s called THE GREAT DYING (the Permian-Triassic event, about 252 million years ago).

This shit makes like the rock-throwing that wiped out the dinosaurs look like kindergarten.

[violent-darts]

OH HOW I LOVE THIS POST. It makes me so much happier about being alive. I AM BURNING VERY SLOWLY. *hugs it*

[the-lanai]

[bifurpawzsfw]

THIS WILL ALWAYS BE FUNNY

[furlockhound-inactive-moved-dea]

Golden Girls is really deceptive because it’s downright savage and crude humor hidden in a show you think was a boring sitcom about old ladies.

I mean, there’s more sex jokes than some r-rated comedies. 

[fullten-deactivated20240430]

And they’re funny, well timed, perfectly delivered sex jokes

[256gb]

me: im done w/ romance!!!! im married to my work

my idiot lizard brain clocking me with a Shovel: NEED HOLD HAND

[diversemovies]

It’s literally called “Curmudgeons”

[x]

[phoukanamedpookie]

“It took me two hours to put this shit on!”

“Thanks for the fuckin’ flowers, you asshole.”

Life goals.

[jezi-belle]

I put off watching this so many times, but if you have fifteen minutes and need a good happy-cry, DO IT.

[tanukiham]

holy shit you were not wrong about the happy cry

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Danny Devito is a GIFT

[dungeons-and-dumbies]

Cave in a Fantasy Setting: *exists*

Giant Spiders:

[bertie-renard]

Ghosts, when they see a doll:

[captainmarvall]

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

[futureblackwakandan-deactivated]

@radicalmuscle if the movie isn’t EXACTLY like this then I’m demanding a refund

[queenbruv]

hypothesis: Zoe Murphy is a lesbian

evidence: no one wears this much plaid or denim and is still straight

conclusion: Zoe Murphy is a lesbian

[sluttyhozier]

[occupyfall-deactivated20181031]

i think we really need to add:

[baxterfilms]

A disabled local cartoonist who has worked on some of his industry’s most iconic characters — from Mighty Mouse and Betty Boop to Richie Rich and Felix the Cat — says his landlord is kicking him out and he now has no place to go. According to Milton Knight, 55, the conditions at his Altadena …

Animator/cartoonist/painter Milton Knight (Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Cool World, Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat) is a dear friend of mine and is in desperate need for financial help. Please consider helping him out via his GoFundMe page…

[naradreamscape]

This is THE guy who designed the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog Dr. Robotnik. The fact that an animation legend like this is being treated this badly is a massive shame. Please consider helping him if you’re able to.

[alienaficionados]

““When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day, when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first in his life. She told him that he would have to go outside himself and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.” All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy into her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because if violence begins in the nursery one can raise children into violence.””

— Astrid Lindgren, author of Pippi Longstocking, 1978 Peace Prize Acceptance Speech (via jillymomcraftypants)

[connnorkenway-old-deactivated20]

i literally cant fucking believe this

[verymaudlin]

my nebulously gay ass: i love [lesbians]! love to [be one] some day!