Medicated and Motivated

The rantings of a New England nerd girl.

[medicated-motivated]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzKSljX6IIU)

[medicated-motivated]

Dad and I in Disney World circa 1999

[medicated-motivated]

letting go

After my dad died, I started having a sequential dream about the days leading up to his death. He still had cancer and there wasn’t anything left int he doctor’s arsenal to treat him. But instead of him dying within 24 hours of knowing we weren't going to win, we had time. 

The Dream:

The doctors called my family in and told us there was nothing else for them to do and that we only had a few months left. Not just a few months with an ambiguous ending, but a set death date. We planned and cherished all the last moments. And he didn’t look sick. He wasn’t 100 pounds and bald from radiation. He looked just as healthy as ever; just how I want to remember him. We planned a trip to Disney World and brought our dog and our extended family and friends were there with us for periods of time as well. We ate extravagantly at all our favorite restaurants and Dad taught us all about the wine pairings. We let him narrate every step of the trip, and I hung on to every word. We were staying in a hotel suite bigger than our house. 

This dream started in June, right after my dad passed away, Last night, this happened...

On the day he was “scheduled” to die, nothing seemed wrong. We were just talking and then he slipped away. It was just me and him in the room when he "left”, so I tried to cover it up. I quickly packed all of his things in his suitcase and brought it to the front desk and had his things shipped back home. 

*****************************************************************************************************

Then my alarm went off. Stupid 6am pure barre class. I’ve been left felling relieved and sad all day. Maybe, after all these months of trying to pretend that everything is ok, I’m starting to come to terms with loosing my dad.  And its terrifying. And heartbreaking. 

[medicated-motivated]

[lolmythesis]

My mice are stupid and I don't know why.

Biology, MPI

"Behavioral profiling of mice overexpressing a schizophrenia risk gene"

[thehuntresszildi]

[medicated-motivated]

#giantmicrobes

[medicated-motivated]

#tbt because I miss summers with this bitch

[medicated-motivated]

Zoom from the edge of the universe to the quantum foam of spacetime and learn about everything in between.

This is absolutely mind blowing. Perfect for wasting a good hour nerd-ing out

[medicated-motivated]

Love #starbucks #caffeine

[mycuriousintentions]

[medicated-motivated]

#mylife

[mydistractedheart]

[medicated-motivated]

Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.

[medicated-motivated]

[uglyfade-blog]

[calm-ah-blog]

[medicated-motivated]

My favorite biology professor is leaving because she was offered a tenure track job at another university. I had the privilege of doing research with her on HIV/AIDS and before she left she gave all of the students in her lab HIV giant microbes!