Wait but what about a fic where the JL all figure out somehow that the Malone crime family is just the Batfam.
But it’s like. Maybe they’re on the watchtower, maybe it’s a normal quarterly meeting between all the affiliated teams, so literally everyone is there. They’re mingling, because the actual meeting hasn’t started yet, and they’re still waiting on a couple stragglers. Including Nightwing. Who enters the room with a phone held between his shoulder and his ear as he waves his hands around.
Oh, and no one knows the batfam’s secret identities. No one knows they’re all actually a family, either.
So when Nightwing enters the room motioning for everyone to be quiet and then says in a loud, heavily Gotham-accented voice, “Pops, can you believe this clown? This clown, I called him! I tells him, you’re talking to Robbie, Matches’ oldest, his second-in-command, his right hand man, I can take care a’him, and you know what he tells me? He doesn’t care, he tells me! He only wants to talk to Matches!”
Batman’s face morphs just a bit, he looks just a tad offended, and he snatches the phone from Nightwing and says in an equally accented voice, “And who wants to talk to me so bad they have to insult my oldest boy, huh? Because if you want to work with Matches Malone, you better respect all a’his kids! So whaddaya want?”
Everyone else is in total shock, even as Nightwing is silently laughing so hysterically, hanging off of Robin, nearly toppling him to the floor. Robin looks annoyed with him tries to swat him away, but even he looks amused at what Batman is saying into the phone.
Then Batman motions with his free hand, and Nightwing straights up and instantly looks serious, even as he’s smiling.
“JACKIE!” he shouts. “Get over here, I need you to add something to the books!”
“Whaddaya want now?” Red Robin groans as he stomps over, and the two of them start bickering about who owes them money. Then they drop one of the bigger names from one of the other Gotham crime families, and Red Robin says with a cackle, “We need’a send Petey after ‘em, that’ll wake ‘em up!”
“Lemme go with him!” Robin adds.
“Look at lil Matches, he wants to join in the fun,” Nightwing says with glee, wrapping an arm around Robin’s neck. “Think pops will let him go? I bet he could bust a kneecap or two!”
Batman ends the call then, and all three boys start laughing loudly. Nightwing lifts Robin up and bounces him around, cackling.
“Look at lil Matches go!” Nightwing praises him, still keeping the heavy accent. “We’ll need to come up with a new name for you soon! Whaddaya think of Tommy?”
“Too close to Timmy,” Robin complains, turning to glare at Red Robin. Red Robin, in turn, sticks his tongue out at him. Robin returns the gesture.
“He doesn’t need a real name yet,” Batman says, calming them all down. “He can stay Junior for now.”
Everyone else is so beyond confused at what they’ve just witnessed.
“Are you guys actually the Malone family?” Hal blanches. “Like, the Malone crime family?”
“Yes,” Batman says simply.
Everyone else thinks the bats have just given away their identities. Just like that. After years of secrecy.
“They’re aliases,” Red Robin tells them slowly, like they’re all dumb. “The Malone family is a front. A way for us to keep up with what’s going on in the a Gotham Underworld.”
Idk I just like fics where they get to use the Malone personas lmao
gummygunk
dededos
annaxmalina
pixelskylines
titsay
