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[prettytoasty]

What’s your favorite tea? ☕️

[cheaphalloweencostume]

fucking crying because i thought this instagram reel was cutting edge comedy gold only to realize it is 100% serious… damn maybe i’m being poisoned

[circlusion]

[re-homophobic]

I'm not british but "daft cunt" is such a funny insult but I couldn't say it without sounding like one myself

[killfridge]

It's a shame they aren't making music anymore

[set-the-table-hannibal]

People miss characterize Will so much. Dude is scary and unnerving, and in real life you'd think he's fuckin crazy.

[teathattast]

[starrynet]

[stonefemmesiren]

a lot of you really need to internalize that acting avoidant isn't cute at all and that it will cost you experiences and life outcomes if you don't change course

[riftclaw]

[pups-2-dust]

[kaijuno]

[headspace-hotel]

read one time that bonobos and humans are the only animals that mate face to face, which is false and the writer must have used an unnecessarily restrictive definition of "animals," because millipedes also mate face to face

How do I know this? well i turned over some leaves one time and mistakenly exposed a millipede couple in the throes of passion. was worried at first that they were eating each other or something but I looked it up and thats how they have sex

[organical-mechanical]

oh my god???

no one told me that millipede sex is cute??

[correctopinionhaver]

[epicsause-official]

"comparing apples and oranges" has always been funny to me as an expression because people's go to exampe of two things so radically different that they defy any useful comparison are apples. and oranges. like you would struggle to find a more comparable pair of objects than that. theyre literally sold right next to each other in most stores.

[epicsause-official]

wikipedia has a whole ass section dedicated to international variants of the idiom so let me quickly run through them

see this is even worse than oranges. pears and apples are like the most comparable things ever. france takes another L

ok so this is what i mean. these are measures of temperature and texture and are in fact not very comparable. молодцы ребята продолжаем в том же духе.

colombia wins most vivid image invoked hands down. would not want that to happen to me.

and i think we can all agree romania wins this hands down. everyone give a big round of applause to romania

[boltlightning]

I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT

[trekkiesagainstchastity]

(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store

[boltlightning]

i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me

[fiollaigean]

how to cover letter:

polite greeting (it's me, boy)

introduction (i'm the ps5)

establish credentials (speaking to you inside your brain)

establish purpose (leave the girl, we don't need her)

describe what you can bring to the organization (cowboy times in space)

[funny-tik-toks]

[oldshowbiz]