Today's Document
Discoholic đȘ©
ellievsbear
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
cherry valley forever
Jules of Nature
â
almost home
KIROKAZE
DEAR READER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
NASA
if i look back, i am lost
wallacepolsom
Sade Olutola
pixel skylines
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$LAYYYTER
@theartofmadeline
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from Malaysia
seen from France
seen from Indonesia
seen from Canada
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from China
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@meemsramblings
Life Update: Do You Really Need Closure To Heal?
Almost four months ago, I went through a very traumatic breakup. Sure, my relationship had its problems but I genuinely believed the fights were a result of miscommunication and just a man putting his foot in his mouth. But when I got hit with an unexpected breakup, I found out my ex had been lying to me and hiding things from me since our first date. And itâs taken me this long to realise thatâŠ
As an iPad adult, I refuse to raise an iPad kid. Sure, Iâm not a parent yet and itâs easy to be a good parent when you donât have any kids, but seeing the impact excessive screen time has, I donât want to pass that on.
I used to be able to read an entire novel in one sitting and now I canât even get through a movie without getting on my phone.
Someone please confiscate my phone đźâđš
Nothing prepares you for missing someone you know is a d ckhead. On the one hand, youâre really mad but on the other, you just seriously want to just hug them.
And I know thereâs plenty of fish in the sea and Iâll eventually find someone else. But right now, I donât even have a fish and it sucks.
If someone knows a shortcut for getting over someone, let me know. Because so far, Iâve found that I canât logic my way out of my emotions. And it is possible to simultaneously love and hate someone.
If the thought of it terrifies you, lean in
Cinderella: An Expertly Written Commentary On Bodily Autonomy
Cinderella has always been a special interest of mine. I have consumed every adaptation of this story that I could get my hands on. And despite reading / watching this story in a hundred different formats, my favourite version continues to be Disneyâs Cinderella (1950). Not only is it an exceptionally well written account of a woman surviving abuse while retaining her individuality and sense ofâŠ
I read Pride & Prejudice at least once a year but damn, Caroline Bingley is an even bigger b I t c h in The Other Bennet Sister.
The way that sheâs constantly giving Mary backhanded compliments. Every time I see her, I want to smack her across the face.
Honestly, as bad as some of the characters were in Pride & Prejudice, they seem worse in this show. But theyâre not caricatures of their book counterparts. Honestly, I could imagine this is how Mary Bennet felt within the story. She was always the overlooked sister and sure, she lacked social skills but her family were still quite mean to her. Even Lizzy could be quite cruel to her sisters.
Iâm midway through episode 5 and it feels like a very faithful spin off of the book. Itâs a different perspective but itâs within character. And I can truly imagine that as time passes, Mary would become more insecure and resigned to being plain and that Caroline, in turn, would become more desperate.
What does everyone else think?
Life Update: Three Months Post Breakup And Why You Should Never Repress Your Emotions
In the past year, Iâve gone through two soul crushing breakups. And if thereâs one thing Iâve learned, itâs the fact that you canât postpone grief. You donât get to ignore the pain of losing someone by getting into anotherâs arms. Around this time last year, I had just been broken up with mere weeks before my final exams. And you know what, Boy 1 was right. We were absolutely wrong for eachâŠ
Anastasia: The Musical Was An Experience I Won't Forget
So I recently went to the Lyric to watch Anastasia with my friend. I havenât seen the movie in years but Iâve been getting bombarded with ads for the musical. So when my friend told me there was a flash sale, of course I had to get tickets to a random showing on a Thursday night. And it completely blew my expectations out of the water. I enjoyed watching the movie years ago but the play reallyâŠ
Phoebe Buffay was not a good friend
When it comes to discussing how much Ross and Rachel suck, I have endless thoughts. But the more I watch Friends, the more I realise that they all sucked.
And Phoebe Buffay was no exception.
Now, as someone with a whole lot of childhood trauma of her own, I understand the propensity for trauma dumping. I understand that sometimes it just comes out.
But part of being an adult, and being someone worthy of their friends, involves focusing on other people. I cannot imagine telling someone they shouldnât be sad about what theyâre going through because I went through something worse.
And Phoebe did this all the time. You want to talk about your breakup? Well, Phoebe suddenly needs to talk about her mum committing suicide. She couldnât stand not being the centre of attention. And it sucks. You canât be friends with someone who constantly makes you feel like your emotions arenât valid because they went through something worse.
I understand she had a hard life but the way she acted was out of line. And most people wouldâve stopped associating with her.
Phoebe was constantly trying to make every situation about herself. Sure, Rachelâs the obvious one when it comes to trying to steal Monicaâs thunder but Phoebe did it too.
All she had to do was look after the engagement ring and she did anything but that. She made fun of Chandlerâs intense desire to get the original ring back. And when he finally managed to get the ring back, she kept trying to take it.
What kind of friend asks to have the engagement ring if the proposalâs rejected? Phoebe does!
And when they finally get engaged, she harasses them to perform at their wedding. And you know what, sheâs a terrible musician! No one else would ever hire her for their wedding and yet sheâs standing outside their door, harassing them for a deposit.
If I was Chandler, I wouldnât have stopped at taking her guitar, I wouldâve broken it.
All that is to say, even though I love the show, the friends make me so mad. Theyâre all so selfish, self absorbed and entitled.
The Only Mistake Emily Made Was Marrying Ross
Letâs get the obvious out of the way first, Ross and Emily were so beyond stupid for getting married after only knowing each other for six weeks. They shouldnât have even been a couple. Ross and Rachel were clearly not over each other at that point. And six weeks is nowhere near enough time to truly know another person.
However, once they got married, Emily was fully in the right to ditch Ross. And she was also in the right for wanting Ross to move to England.
This girl was humiliated in front of her entire family. Not to mention, that wedding wouldâve cost a fortune for everyone involved. She shouldâve just gotten an annulment or not signed the marriage certificate after the ceremony.
Instead, all she asked was for Ross to move to England so she wouldnât have to uproot her entire life, and leave her support system, for a man whoâd already humiliated her once.
And then, the very fact that she even agreed to move to America made her a saint. She was perfectly reasonable for wanting Ross to cut off Rachel. In fact, it was the bare minimum and something Ross shouldâve offered on his own.
And the fact that she wanted them to move into their own place was also reasonable. She moved countries and Ross canât even move uptown?
And the fact that Rossâ friends made her out to be the unreasonable one is beyond ridiculous. If anything, she gave in way too many concessions to Ross. If anyone was the villain in this story, it was Ross.
And donât even get me started on the pick me that is Rachel. After repeatedly breaking up with Ross, she has no right to show up to his wedding to break up his next relationship. And she especially has no right to confess her feelings to him WHEN HE IS MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE!
On my rewatch, Iâm honestly starting to hate her. Sheâs entitled, selfish and a train wreck. Iâm glad she wound up with Ross in the end. They can drive each other insane and leave everyone else alone. What a piece of work both of them are.
The River: A Thoroughly Unsettling And Confusing Play That Is Definitely Worth A Watch
I recently received a free ticket to watch The River, at the Opera House, courtesy of my friend working there. And while the initial description of the play outlined a relatively simplistic tale of a fisherman inviting a woman to his familyâs cabin, the reality of the story felt much more sinister. As a prior warning, I will go ahead and say that I definitely recommend this play to anyone whoâŠ
Rachel Green Was Such A Pick Me That I Think Ending Up With Ross Was Her Karma
I understand that breakups are messy. And while Rachel was fully in the right to break up with Ross, she wasnât in the right for all the shady things she did.
She thoroughly messed with Bonnie. Long before she pushed Bonnie to shave her head, this girl was actively hating on a woman whose only fault was that she was dating Ross. Rachel wasnât only flirting with another womanâs boyfriend, she was chasing him and curling up against him on the couch.
Now, Ross is the clear loser. He should be setting boundaries with his ex. In fact, they shouldnât even be hanging out together. You cannot get over someone while still maintaining such a high level of intimacy.
But Rachel is so wrong for everything she does in that episode. SHE chose to break up with Ross. And if she truly wanted him, she had every opportunity to get him back. Instead, she waited until he was with someone else to start messing with his relationship.
This girl is genuinely terrible. Getting pregnant with Rossâs baby and winding up with him in the end is what she deserves. At least this way, no other woman has the misfortune of being his partner.
Ross and Rachel are going to be miserable but at least theyâll stick to hurting each other.
The Break
I think most people will agree that Ross and Rachel shouldnât be together. Yes, he put her on a pedestal and seemed to adore her. But he didnât truly value her as a person.
And their breakup makes this painfully obvious.
If it wasnât already clear that Ross didnât respect Rachelâs job, him showing up while sheâs handling a crisis makes it painfully obvious.
He makes a grand, romantic gesture without taking her wants and needs into consideration. And then he belittles her work when she isnât appreciative of it. He is so beyond disrespectful.
We donât even have to get to him sleeping with another woman immediately after their fight, even the way he handled the fight shows he isnât the right man for Rachel.
When she was a waitress, he looked down on her for it. And when she was actually making something of herself in fashion, he allowed his jealousy to override everything else. Despite being repeatedly told Mark was just a colleague, he never let it go. The truth is, Ross was holding her back.
Iâm glad they broke up but I hate that they kept getting back together. They were truly terrible for each other. Despite their good moments, for the most part, they couldnât communicate.
Yes, Ross has a point that they should celebrate their anniversary. But Rachel is also at the beginning of her career. She needs to put her job first. They shouldnât have had that conversation while she was already stressed out from handling a crisis. They shouldâve been mature adults, sat down and had a conversation about their needs. But they shouldâve done it while both were calm so they could set effective boundaries.
Honestly, Iâd never put up with a Ross.
The One Where No Oneâs Ready: The One Time Ross Was Right
Now, I am usually a pretty strict hater of Ross. He obsessed over Rachel for years, only to treat her terribly once they were together. And whether or not they were on a break is irrelevant. Any man who could sleep with another woman immediately after breaking up with the âlove of his lifeâ is not worth keeping.
However, the one time he was fully in the right is when he lost his patience with Rachel in The One Where No Oneâs Ready.
Iâm sorry but the man spent almost 30 minutes trying to get people ready to go to an incredibly important benefit. He was very patient to begin with and was continuously disrespected. Sure, maybe he shouldâve been nicer and not snapped at Rachel but heâd already tried to get her ready, nicely, multiple times at this stage.
I think Iâd snap too if I was in his position.
So it makes me so angry that in the end, Rachel throws a hissy fit and he ends up having to apologise and beg and plead. If it was me, I wouldâve dumped all of them, then and there, and gone to the benefit by myself.
People who consistently disrespect you shouldnât be in your life. And they especially shouldnât be centred in your milestones.
To be honest, either way, Ross and Rachel shouldnât be together. Yes, Ross was a terrible boyfriend. But the more I watch Rachelâs behaviour towards Ross, the more I realise that the disrespect truly does go both ways.
Rachel repeatedly crossed lines and humiliated Ross. And the Friends didnât even seem to like Ross. The number of times they embarrassed him and took no accountability.
In fact, watching early seasons of Friends makes me wonder if they were all trashy enough to deserve each other. Damn, this episode makes me mad! đ
Being an author is funny because while I was in the happiest, longest relationship of my life, I was writing a fantasy murder mystery where half the main characters are killed off.
And now that Iâm freshly unemployed, and just gone through the most traumatic breakup of my life, Iâm writing a romance novel ⊠with a happy ending.
Life Update: 1.5 Months Post Breakup
For a while, I wanted to limit this blog to reviews. I didnât want to bring the personal into it. Because again, this is the internet and as someone who grew up on it, I know the dangers of oversharing. But Iâm a writer. Oversharing is a quality writers have possessed for all of human history. And I, in particular, have always felt that it isnât enough to simply live life if I cannot share myâŠ
Why We Keep Going Back To Friends
I finally committed to this show and bought the DVD box set of all 10 seasons. I've rewatched the show enough times to understand that paying around $40 for the entire box set was probably more economical than continuously paying for a streaming service just to watch one show.
And I started asking myself: why this show? Why did I go out of my way to buy the physical DVDs for this show, specifically, when I don't really even have a collection of DVDs.
And I think the reason is that this show is so comforting.
I'm currently in my mid 20s: unemployed and freshly single. I feel like I'm hitting rock bottom. And even though I know I'm not. After all, I'm educated and I have years of experience in the workforce. (So, if anything, I hit rock bottom when I was 18 and going through the same thing). Plus, I've learned so much from my last few breakups that my next relationship will probably be better for it.
But when I look around me, I am surrounded by people who are younger than me and yet, doing better in life than I am. And it can be so discouraging. No one wants to feel like they're behind.
And I think that's why this show works so well. You're following six people navigate life. And while mid 20s sounds like an adult, it's often the very beginning of your journey in life. And being an adult doesn't automatically mean you understand everything.
Friends works because of its simplicity. It isn't trying to sell you on a fantasy. It isn't even trying to sell you on a destination. The entire story doesn't revolve around an end goal because the journey is where the magic happens.
Season after season, you watch them make stupid mistakes and fall over and over again. And it's only through their journey that they become the people they are by the end.
And that is so comforting. Because it tells us that the journey is worth it. And no matter how bleak things may appear, we're eventually going to become the people we're meant to be. And one day, we will have it together. One day, we will write our last resume. One day, we will go on the last first date.
And that's worth the wait.
AN: I'm considering writing a review on Friends for my blog and this is my first draft of it. If you want to keep an eye out for it, or read my other reviews, check out my blog: Meem's Ramblings.