Carrie always tweets great and true things

ellievsbear
wallacepolsom

#extradirty

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NASA

tannertan36
Fai_Ryy

roma★

shark vs the universe
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Show & Tell
ojovivo

titsay
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Love Begins
Xuebing Du
Today's Document
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🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Three Goblin Art
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@meerjay-blog
Carrie always tweets great and true things
he’s so stupid I love him
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bill gates, a real life hero
“mr gates how do you expect the world to deal with the rampant disease-carrying mosquito issue” “idfk shoot lasers at it”
Mother cat with kittens came to meet an old friend.
I can’t believe we’ve already found the best animal video of 2016.
That is too adorable. You can tell the mother cat actually does trust the dog just by her body language. Typically a mother will watch her kittens closely and be very protective of them, here she completely trusts the dog to play gentle with them. This is just too damn cute.
When he bops the kitten and looks up at Mom to make sure he didn’t overstep!
The dog is trying to make himself as non-threatening as possible!!
I’d like to thank my friend Avistew Teague for translating this!
PSA: CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR HAS TWO AFTER CREDIT SCENES
reblog to save a life
Shirt Neutrality by Wingfeather (on tees here)
“Man humans are lame why don’t we have like wings/horns/etc”
Humans can’t even handle having different skin colors how well do you really think that would go
#basically the plot of x-men
#literally the plot of x-men
“One fun fact I learned while on the air with Keith Olbermann was that humans on the Internet are scumbags. People say children are cruel, but I was never made fun of as a child or an adult. Suddenly, my disability on the world wide web is fair game. I would look at clips online and see comments like, “Yo, why’s she tweakin?” “Yo, is she retarded?” And my favorite, “Poor Gumby-mouth terrorist. What does she suffer from? We should really pray for her.” One commenter even suggested that I add my disability to my credits: screenwriter, comedian, palsy.“
Maysoon Zayid on TEDWomen (x)
Zombie apocalypses are curiously lacking a large array of common equipment that could neatly control the situation.
“But we can’t build walls to contain them!”
Moves by truck, train or boat. Ridiculously common. And see those holes on the bottom? Mobile by forklift. Also, HEAVY, even when empty they’re in the tons. If you had some warning you could string these things end to end for miles and human bodies can’t move them. Plus they’re nice and wide so you can comfortably walk on top of them for patrols.
“But we don’t have easy ways to kill them!”
Put the shotgun down you fucking idiot.
No tires to pop. Heavy and slow but inevitable. Climbing required to enter and thus, relatively zombie proof, especially if you spend like an hour to protect the glass.
A lot of large farming equipment can destroy cars.
Want to guess what it’d do to a decaying human body? It’s not pretty.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Merely flattening them with common construction equipment or farming gear isn’t enough.
How about a
tree trimmer that can mulch a tree top to bottom in nothing flat?
OM NOM NOM NOM.
“But we need ways to move a lot of people that zombies can’t stop!”
BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER. Deer don’t have a chance and neither does a zombie.
“But that’s not good enough!”
NOW it’s time to call our friend the military because this ride stops for no one.
Do I need to keep going or is it clear the movies are bullshit yet? Seriously a dozen prepared people with heavy equipment licenses could clear an entire street of zombies AND powerwash it after.
Country folk can survive
I’ve said this so many times. In the case of a zombie apocalypse, the proletariat will definitely survive.
the true american experience is wondering if you just heard firecrackers or gunshots
PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE
bonus points: both are illegal in your state and you still cannot tell
Bonus points: one is illegal in your state and it is not the gun
what the fuck is going on down there are you guys okay
Bonus round: was the scream after caused by fun or was it them getting shot
Challenge mode: it’s the 4th of July
bonus round: it’s New Year’s Eve and ppl are also drunk
The doctor I went to last week was looking over my history and he said “Endometriosis?” and I said yes. And he said “Is that just your speculation or have you actually been diagnosed?” and I was like “I have been cut open three times for it so I hope it isn’t just speculation.” and he just looked at me and said “Females tend to diagnose themselves” and without missing a beat I said “Well I hope you do your job so I don’t have to.”