shout out to Hashirama for not including his wife in the list of people he's willing to kill for the sake of the village
rip to Madara, Tobirama and his kid but Mito is allowed to be a threat to the society as much as she wants <3
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@meetbag
shout out to Hashirama for not including his wife in the list of people he's willing to kill for the sake of the village
rip to Madara, Tobirama and his kid but Mito is allowed to be a threat to the society as much as she wants <3
her ass is not listening
I drew so much MadaMito bait that i forgot the canon, ha
Elden ring au
Madara is tarnished, Tobirama is an Empyrean, one his half is the lunar princess and a witch and the other tries to bring Destined death back in the world
Tōka is a furry
Gai: They say diamonds are the hardest things in the world. But they haven't seen me when I'm around you, bro. Kakashi: Bro...
Celibacy gif except it's Hashirama stabbing Madara and Madara flopping on the ground
Some mito-centred miscs for her birthday :)
Hearthmen
Rating: Mature
Length: 13,500 (2/2)
Pairing: HashiMada
Tags: Night World (L. J. Smith), Urban Fantasy, 1990s, Japanese-American Characters, Witches, Vampires, Soulmates, Romance, Humor, Violence, Blood Drinking, Mild Gore, Mild Sexual Content
Excerpt:
This is when Hashirama glimpses chrome out of the corner of his eye and turns his head to watch a sleek black car surge down the barren street. It takes a hard serpentine left to pull into the parking lot and eases into a cruising rumble to prowl for a suitable spot to drop off its cargo of patient faces.
Hashirama stares at the driver: a young man with loose black hair billowing out of the convertible and large mirrored sunglasses that completely obscure the upper half of his dubiously handsome face. Leather driving gloves encase small dexterous hands nearly to the wrist, leaving a sliver of pale skin between the simple cuff and the cropped sleeve of a tailored riding jacket.
There is a cigarette hanging from his lips. The car – a goddamn Lincoln – idles a few spots away from Hashirama’s humble and nearly vintage Ford pick-up; the driver pinches the cigarette between two gloved fingers and takes a lazy drag, muttering something to his disembarking passengers.
What an asshole.
Hashirama, son of a witch, meets his soulmate a chainsmoking, smoky-eyed lamia outside Vegas. Vampire cat-and-mouse shenanigans ensue.
tobirama : ok we need a symbol for the village
hashirama : my wife :-)c….
tobirama: ok
I know in my heart Tobirama will performatively avoid Hashirama's hugs like the plague, only to show up at odd hours to snuggle like the lapdog equivalent of a Samoyed. He curls up with his limbs spilling over, head tucked snugly into any one of Hashirama's various planes. So snugly he cannot escape the kisses pressed to his temple and brow and nose.
And Hashirama will accommodate him without a word, without changing expression or energy, whether he's eating a big bowl of noodles or hunched over his desk experiencing a psychological crisis or mid-argument with someone, because Tobirama wants to be with him.
And one day, on a day that will seem ordinary, they will hug for the last time.
Something something Uchiha vs Senju have rival bands. Izuna is so dedicated to their rivalry that he never listens to Senju music recreationally, only for market research, which means he accidentally attends an indie concert in a dimly lit club and falls head over ass for the husky woman casually dominating the dark stage.
Unbeknownst to him, Hashirama and Tobirama's bassist has her own band for slow, dark, heavy songs where she alternates guitar, bass, percussion AND keys while singing.
He decides that She is the Senju Exception because she has Talent and has been Blessed, unlike those Stupid Fucking Hacks Senju Hashirama and Tobirama.
He literally begs to record the guitar parts for her next album and she eventually begrudgingly agrees because he is refusing payment and it will cut her studio time in half if she doesn't have to record the parts herself. They barely speak throughout the entire process, and this easy companionship unfortunately bonds her to him.
The album is completely obscure. Sells maybe five copies every live show, which is good because she only bought a hundred copies. Izuna eventually worms his way into performing with her, completely lowkey in casual clothing with a surgical mask on and his hair done differently to avoid detection in the smoggy clubs they book.
(The first time they scissor, Izuna puts on a playlist of her own music to set the scene and Tōka laughs so hard she nearly cries.)
Something something American prom AU where senior Tōka is forced to wear a full kimono in exchange for borrowing her grandfather's car. Going to prom had not even crossed her mind until (fellow senior) Mito casually shares that (junior) Hashirama had sweetly asked her to go, and Tōka henceforth gets roped into carpooling in exchange for cash, cigarettes and a free ticket to a concert they are planning to attend that same night.
When she arrives at Hashirama's house to pick everyone up, including Madara and Izuna who had hitch-hiked over, Hashirama takes one look at her and asks if she wants to borrow something from his mother.
She shrugs. "My grandfather expects pictures. I'll change into sweats after."
Izuna (snot-nosed eighth grader and tall for his age – if you ignore the fact that he henceforth stops growing) suggests in a first love daze that they should swap outfits. Tōka snorts and dismissively pats his head, given he is several inches and about fifty pounds smaller. Hashirama excitedly offers the same thing and she stops, thinks about it and agrees with a huge grin.
Izuna is deeply aggrieved and never forgives Senju Hashirama for interfering with His Woman. Tōka gives him her fan and he elects not to throw a tantrum, but he is Displeased and Never Forgets.
Prom goes as well as it could, Izuna gets to be in a group shot with His Woman and Tōka is smiling in her individual picture.
Grandpappy sighs when he sees the pictures, decides she fulfilled his wishes in the end and frames it.
Izuna finally gets his outfit swap kink fulfilled at a college house party.
The photographs given to Hashirama's parents show him in his regular kimono, so they each do a double-take when they find a framed photograph their eldest son dolled up in Tōka's "I Am an Unmarried Woman, Please Notice" outfit when they arrive at Cousin Granpappy's home for his wake.
Insert thinly veiled porn where Tōka goes undercover in a sex club and signs up for pole so she doesn't have to interact with anyone, but she refuses to shave so she's got a little leather outfit on with bush facing the world 🌍
Izuna getting his metaphorical and real balls busted by the masc stripper when...
Something something Tobirama being the most-least parasocial fan to ever fan. He becomes obsessed with performer Madara (music, stage and film) and runs a meticulous fan account online documenting projects, press releases and endless photographs and videos. He has intense, extremely detailed, practically novel-length sexual fantasies about this man and this man alone. He pays an artist to realistically recreate a low-res, darkly lit screencap of Madara undressing to a fundoshi in a samurai film and nails it to the wall directly opposite his bed so he can go to sleep every night to the pure art that is Uchiha Madara's muscular tits, hairy belly , and (likely padded) bulge.
Hashirama gets tickets to Madara's concert because he's literally the only musician Tobirama not only listens to but also owns the physical songs of and Tobirama is mildly interested. They have a good time drinking cheap beer (something Tobirama doesn't usually do) and dancing (also something Tobirama doesn't usually do).
When Tobirama somehow wins a random selection to join the meet-and-greet line, he declines. The assistant is bemused and tries to reassure him that it is all free, including the merch. Tobirama perks up at this and joins the queue. When it comes to his turn to "meet and greet", he walks up to the table and ignores Madara for a full five minutes while he carefully browses the merch on display for something he doesn't already own. Finally, he selects a special edition DVD. Madara uncaps his marker to sign it and Tobirama marches away without a word.
Madara, who utterly loathes meet and greets on the best of days, is downright baffled.
Hashirama is also baffled, but slightly less so. He warmly apologises for his brother's unsociable behaviour and assures Madara that they had absolutely loved the concert.
"Is your brother differently abled...?" Madara asks politely.
"My brother is disabled and also an asshole," Hashirama says brightly. "Would you sign this CD? My youngest brother is also a big fan of yours! He couldn't be here tonight because he's a nurse."
"Aa, here you go. Please tell him that he has made an extraordinary sacrifice for his country."
Mostly sarcastic, partly genuine. Tobirama rolls his eyes and studiously ignores Hashirama bantering back and forth with an arguably huge celebrity.
Finally they head out. Hashirama is clutching a sheet of paper with a big smile.
"Look here! Uchiha told me he'd upgrade my tickets next time for free so I can bring Itama to meet him. What a swell guy."
"He's just selling you shit, Elder Brother."
"Oh, hush. I thought you liked Uchiha!"
"I like his music and I like his acting." And his body, but that is none of Hashirama's business. "He's arrogant, pretentious and far too big for his average-sized boots."
"Ehh? How big are his feet?"
"Twenty-six and a half."
"And how do you know that?" Hashirama asks patiently.
Tobirama pretends to find his DVD fascinating.
hugs