You guys… I’m going through a major crisis! OK, ok, that may be slightly dramatic, but nonetheless, society has labeled it as such. I believe I am having my quarter life crisis five years after it was supposed to happen. I’m four months away from the big 30, and quite frankly I’m terrified. Don’t get me wrong. A part of me is super stoked for my thirties! Word on the street is it’s an amazing time! But… I can’t help but to think I am nowhere near where I thought I would be at thirty years of life.
When I was a kid, people in their thirties, according to my fetus mind… had their shit together! Married, career, satisfied with who they were. I’m over here cutting out Petco coupons so my cats can eat! Where did I go wrong!? I know what you’re thinking, “Cats… as in plural? That’s where you went wrong bitch!” Yeah, well, no shame! I love my furbabies! I digress. Now, back to talking about me… I feel the sudden need to figure it all out in the next four months, and it’s making me feel some type of way.
Recently, I’ve labeled myself as a Megha-Boss, my “brand” if you will. I hustle hard, strive for the best, and give life my all! So if I’m a so-called “boss” why am I feeling so insecure about where I am in life? I believe even the most boss of bosses have to have these times of reflection in order to learn a BIG lesson and I’m happy to say I had a major breakthrough last night.
My amazing friend from college, Jill, invited me to an adorable “Women and Friendship” dinner party. My first thought… a group of women coming together… ugh, bring on the fake niceness! A pessimistic thought? Absolutely! But most likely an accurate thought? Absolutely! But to my surprise, it wasn’t an accurate thought at all. There were about nine of us all gathered together in this cute ass apartment in Silverlake. There was a cheese spread and wine and an amazingly decorated table placement. And the hostess was an adorable ball of energy making sure everyone’s wine glasses were full and that everyone was getting acquainted with each other. Some women were married, and some were mothers, others were single and childless. But for the most part, everyone was in some spectrum of their thirties. As we sat down for dinner, I thought, “Oh, this is the part where we all go around the table one by one and say our names, and where we’re from and our favorite charity.” But again… nothing like that. After my first bite of potato I heard nothing but laughter, loud talking, yelling even, and genuine conversation. I began to open up about my insecurity of turning thirty, and these wonderful women made me feel so ready to embrace the decade. They all had a glow and an air of confidence and independence like I’ve never seen before. But perhaps best of all an attitude and mindset of “I couldn’t even give a shit.” They all admitted they were terrified of their thirties too, but that something happens that is almost metamorphic when you turn 30, and you begin to truly understand who you are and what your purpose is. They told me your twenties are for learning and growing, and your thirties are for thriving and living.
These women were everything from producers, to graphic designers, to writers, but most importantly, they were all in such a good place mentally. I left that night feeling more empowered, and motivated than I could have ever imagined. So today, I woke up feeling ready. Ready for the unknown. Ready for the unplanned. My mind feels less clutter, and my body feels less pressure. I am not ready for the things I once thought I would have been ready for at 30. And that’s OK. The truth is, I’m excited to just be Meghan and be a Megha-Boss. I’m excited to finally not give a shit! I’m embracing the journey life has given me thus far, and I’m so ready to dominate 30 feeling sexier and more boss-like than ever before!
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