Note: I had a vision. While writing I noticed, I actually don’t have a vision😭 But I think it still turned out to be okay, despite it feels like a fever dream to me. Hope you enjoy!
Summary: Friends, feelings, misunderstandings and Megumi Fushiguro being emotionally constipated (as usual).
Content/Warnings: university-au, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, light spice (nothing to worry about)
Your shift felt ridiculously long, and it only got worse when you saw him walk into the café with Hana at his side.
Your heartbeat spiked, sudden and uncomfortably intense, and a wave of sadness, maybe even jealousy washed over you before you could stop it.
Ever since Fushiguro had defended you from those delinquents back in high school, you hadn’t been able to shake your stupid crush.
Too bad you never told anyone about it.
Too bad Hana now had the biggest crush on him and wasn’t even trying to hide it.
You didn’t know how she had managed to get him to hang out with her, but there was no way they were dating. She would’ve told you and Miwa. No. She would’ve told the whole world.
Your throat tightened as you watched them approach the counter. You hoped your coworker would serve them, but he was busy, leaving you with no excuse.
So you inhaled, plastered a smile onto your face, and greeted them.
Hana gave you a suggestive look, one you knew was meant to the man beside her. Not in the mood, you skipped small talk and asked for their order, forcing kindness into your voice.
“The usual” said Hana with a bright smile “and you?” she turned to Megumi, who was distracted by his phone and replied “Yeah, me too”.
By “Me too” he meant Hanas order, since he wasn’t interested in being here at all but when you came back with a matcha latte in one hand and a black coffee, just the way he liked, in the other, he felt dumb for being fascinated.
It wasn’t the first time you had served him. Since the café was close to his university, he came here often to clear his head or study when he didn’t feel like going to the library.
It wasn’t impossible for you to remember his order, but this place was filled with regulars and still you managed to remember his usual.
That was strangely… cute?
Especially after he took his first sip and tasted the aroma, somehow only you managed to get on a plain black coffee.
Megumi had always seen you as thoughtful. Quiet, but deeply kind. He noticed things others didn’t.
Like the way you placed your hand under the table when someone ducked, so they wouldn’t hit their head. The way you never took a seat someone else had just left. The way you scanned a group while walking, making sure no one fell behind. The way you spent breaks in high school with the lonely kids, ignoring the comments thrown your way. The way you remembered small details about your friends just to surprise them later. They were small gestures. But they mattered.
He admired that about you, how caring you were without expecting anything in return.
That was why he had defended you back then. He would have beaten up those delinquents anyway, but seeing them mock you, the quiet girl who would rather bleed in silence than burden anyone, had triggered something deep inside him.
You smiled softly and wished them an “Enjoy” then walked away.
Your smile didn’t reach your eyes the way it usually did. The spark he had grown used to was missing.
At the end of the day you were just his classmate. Nothing more.
That’s at least what he told himself.
It’s not like he was in love with you, more like an interest. But it was nothing serious. Just there. Quiet and sealed. Nothing he wanted to give attention to.
And yet it made itself known in moments like this and man did that annoy him.
Too lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t realized he was staring until Hana nudged his shoulder.
They were only here because Hana had been sick and insisted on working together in their free time. If it were up to him, they would have finished already, but Hana had demanded breaks and dragged him to the café, claiming she needed her “daily dose of fancy drinks” whatever that meant.
She was kind. Maybe flirty.
He wasn’t sure anymore, but he hoped he was just reading too much into it.
Hana eventually explained why she had been spending time with Megumi. You should have felt relieved, but the unease lingered.
Especially when she started sending him Reels and TikToks per WhatsApp, since he didn’t have social media.
He did. He just didn’t tell her.
And it was embarrassing how often his screen time was filled with highlights of you posted by Hana.
The universe seemed determined to mess with him.
It got worse when the three of you were assigned another project together.
That was how you ended up in the library. Laptops open, books and snacks scattered across the table.
It went better, than you expected. Hana flirted here and there, but Megumi didn’t seem particularly charmed.
When Hana excused herself to go to the bathroom, you braced yourself for the most uncomfortable five minutes of your life.
“You’re actually good at this” he said casually. “Are you interested in philosophy?”
Outwardly, he looked indifferent.
Inside, he was replaying his words over and over, cringing at himself for attempting conversation.
Surprised, you smiled faintly. “Yeah. I read a lot, actually”
Your heart raced, but you hoped he didn’t notice.
“What kind of books?” he asked.
And just like that, you were talking.
You discovered shared interests. He teased you gently when you admitted to reading fanfiction alongside non-fiction. You learned that he collected poems and noted lines that struck him as important.
It felt surreal. Megumi opening up like this.
He was impressed by himself, that he actually did approach you even though he didn’t plan on doing so.
And somehow, it felt easy with you.
Hana returned to see the two of you talking. It made sense, you were working. But she noticed the softness in Megumi’s expression. Subtle, but unmistakable.
Why wasn’t it this easy with her?
She brushed the feeling aside and rejoined the table.
You clutched the book in your hands, hesitating.
Beyond Good and Evil - Nietzsche
Megumi had mentioned it once in one of your regularly happening conversations. Since then, the book had felt heavy on your shelf, like a secret you weren’t allowed to keep.
Giving it to him felt too intimate. Too desperate. You felt like such an awkward creep for that. Yeah, no, you should head back.
You turned to leave, then froze. Hana stood beside him.
Guilt crashed over you all at once. You knew Hana liked him. And despite that, you had wanted to grow closer to him.
You couldn’t betray your morals for your feelings, even if it meant losing your chance with Megumi.
Megumi noticed you disappearing and felt a knot twist in his chest.
From that day on, you were distant.
You avoided him. Conversations stayed strictly about assignments. You didn’t laugh anymore. Didn’t look at him the same way. It made him go crazy.
He missed the way you smiled. The way you rolled your eyes at his sarcasm, especially when he mocked your fan fic passion. The way your conversations drifted from books to politics to nothing at all.
He loved knowing a piece of your mind.
If it was possible, he would like to know all of you. To read you like a book and know every single word by heart.
And it hit him. He was falling for you.
He hadn’t noticed when it started. Not when he replayed highlights of you. Not when his eyes searched for you in every crowd and followed every movement of yours. Not when he remembered your words better than his own thoughts and every little detail he came across. Not when he stopped by the café to get a glimpse of you. Not when he smirked thinking about you. Not when when his heart did that thing every time you smiled and laughed and not when he had that constant urge to talk as long and meaningful as possible to you.
It crept up on him quietly. And now you were pulling away.
Hana noticed it too. Megumi never did realise but she did.
The way Megumi looked at you. Soft and intent. The way his eyes traced your every movement. The way he talked more than necessary when you were around. And now, how he always glanced at you with a hint of frustration.
And worst of all? You didn’t even tried.
She knew that, at that point, she had to give up on Megumi. It didn’t make any sense to continue, but her ego wouldn’t stop daring her.
She intentionally “forgot” her book, asking Megumi if she could look into his while batting her eyelashes.
Megumi agreed, and just as she was about to sit close to him, he handed her his book and sat down next to you instead.
She wasn’t the only one who was more than surprised. You didn’t see that one coming either.
You thought he might hate you after you had grown cold toward him, despite him opening up to you more than he ever did to the average person.
And now, of all options, he decided to sit next to you. You felt painfully self-conscious, worrying if your uneven breathing was loud enough for him to hear.
Megumi, on the other hand, felt a confidence he hadn’t felt in a long time. He was sick of you acting this way, so he decided to take matters into his own hands even if it meant stepping out of his comfort zone.
At first, nothing happened. Then his shoulder brushed lightly against yours. Your fingers touched as you both moved to turn the page, and for both of you it felt like your skin was burning.
Hana, who witnessed all of these silent moments, felt like she had to do something. Even if it felt wrong, she couldn’t stop herself from forming the sentence:
“So, Y/n, what do you think about that friend of Mechamaru who told Miwa he wants to go on a date with you?”
She thought that might turn Megumi off. Instead, he was hit with an unfamiliar feeling, his jaw tightening and fists clenching.
Too proud to look directly at you, he studied your face as best as he could from his peripheral vision.
Meanwhile, you felt completely overwhelmed. First, you had gotten closer to Megumi than you ever had in your life. Then you had to throw all of that away for the sake of your friendship. You suffered what felt like the most pathetic heartbreak in history, only for him to make things even more complicated with his sudden behavior, which sent your feelings spiraling. And now Hana was asking you that question while the man you were in love with sat right beside you.
“I don’t know, but I just realised I have a shift in a few minutes. I’m sorry, guys,” you said, choosing to flee and finally free your head from that exhausting rollercoaster.
Not long after, Megumi excused himself as well, leaving Hana alone.
As she was about to leave, she spotted a familiar notebook lying on the floor.
Megumi went to the café after your abrupt departure, only to find out that you had lied.
So he texted you: Meet me at the park in 30 minutes. I know you’re not at work.
Reading his message, you felt genuine panic. Not because he had caught you lying but because your notebook, filled with your thoughts, scribbles, and everything you had poured onto those pages about Megumi over the years, was gone.
That couldn’t be a coincidence. This was it. He would reject you, and you would have to live with that embarrassment for the rest of your life and probably drown in pain for half of it.
When you reached the park, you saw Megumi… empty-handed? Now you were confused.
As you approached him, he got straight to the point “Why are you acting weird?”.
“What do you mean?” you asked.
“You’re avoiding me” he replied. His voice was dry, but his eyes carried hundreds of emotions.
He wasn’t in the mood for you playing oblivious. He needed answers. He was going crazy.
“I’m just a bit stressed about the upcoming exams, that’s all. Sorry if it seemed different” you lied again. It felt best to keep your true emotions hidden. You couldn’t make things more complicated than they already were. You were just tired.
“You’re lying” he said calmly. “You won’t look at me anymore. You leave every place where I am. Whenever I’m at the café, your coworker suddenly shows up after you whisper to him. I’m not oblivious, Y/n. You stopped talking to me like I mattered”
For a long time, words had never felt so heavy. You stopped talking to me like I mattered echoed relentlessly in your head.
Why did he have to sound like you weren’t the only one who felt that spark? Why did he have to mess with your mind while you were desperately trying to get your shit together?
At first, you thought he had the notebook. Now he clearly had no idea about your feelings or he was pretending not to and what he was saying sounded dangerously close to a confession.
“I-“ you didn’t know. What were you supposed to say? What was the right thing to do? You were so confused.
Megumi’s patience was slowly but surely fading. His heart raced after being that raw and honest.
It was just one small thing, but it felt heavy on his tongue, like it burned when he finally said it out loud.
“Y/n, say something. Anything. I’m losing my fucking mind. I’m going insane. First, you make me feel like you notice me, like you care, like what I say actually has value. Like I have value. Like I’m finally part of your world. Like I’m worth being included, the way everyone else is for you. You made me feel like I could open up. Like there was space for me and my thoughts and feelings in this world, just to shut me out from one day to the next. And now you’re trying to fool me into believing it’s just stress? What did I do wrong? Tell me, and I’ll fix it. Just don’t push me away. Not when it hurts this much to lose you.” Despite his effort to stay composed, his voice broke near the end.
You started trembling, fighting back tears. This wasn’t what you wanted. You never meant to hurt him. Hell, you didn’t even know it mattered to him. You thought you were just some random girl he had saved. Someone he barely acknowledged outside of assignments. And now he was laying all of this on you, as if you hadn’t been yearning since high school to mean something to him.
A thousand thoughts raced through your mind, your body flooded with adrenaline, and through tears you whispered, “Megumi, I can’t,” without even knowing what you were referring to.
Megumi felt like he was in crisis. He had said all of that, just to get nothing? Never in his life had he been this vulnerable. And when you turned to leave, panic took over and his instincts acted before his mind could stop him.
Fuck it. There was no way to be more vulnerable anyway.
He grabbed your cheeks, pulled you toward him, and crashed his lips against yours.
It wasn’t romantic. It was messy, desperate, filled with everything that had built up over the past few weeks.
Both of you felt unfamiliar sensations rushing through your bodies.
What started as an impulsive kiss turned into a full-blown make-out session, as if you were both trying to reach each other’s souls. He devoured your lips like his life depended on it, like you might slip from his grasp at any second.
And he wasn’t wrong. Even though you kissed him back just as desperately, an image of Hana flashed through your mind.
You pulled away abruptly. He chased your lips instinctively before you gently pushed him back.
Dazed, he stared at your swollen lips before lifting his gaze to your face, trying to understand what was happening.
What he didn’t expect were tears streaming down your cheeks.
You shook your head. “Megumi, we can’t. I can’t. Not like this. Not while—”
“Not while what?” he asked, irritation creeping into his voice.
“It’s Hana” you said quietly. “She likes you. She’s my friend. I can’t be the kind of person who gets what she wants by knowingly hurting someone else”
He stared at you coldly. “Then don’t”
Without another word, he turned and walked away.
He was hurt, no, shattered. He hated that you could just walk away. He hated that the reason you rejected him was to protect someone else, even though that was one of the things he loved most about you.
He understood you. Hell, if Itadori liked you, he would probably torture himself before daring to get close to you.
Even knowing your reasons, he felt betrayed. Instead of choosing him, you chose to flee. To follow what you thought was right instead of fighting for what could have been.
You loved each other. And still, you didn’t.
If it hadn’t been for you leaving, he would have fought. But now? Now he didn’t know what was left to fight for.
You had made your decision. And it wasn’t him.
Hana was furious. It wasn’t just the fact that you had harbored this long-time crush on Megumi without losing a single word about it or bothering to tell her, especially while she had been openly simping in front of you.
It was how deep it ran. How honest and genuine it was. This wasn’t just a crush. You loved him with every cell of your body.
It disturbed her. She hated it. What she hated even more was that she couldn’t deny the truth. It wasn’t just you, it was him too. He reciprocated. She had seen it with her own eyes. You were everything she wanted to be, and it made her so fucking angry.
So she waited for you to close the café and immediately grabbed your wrist, pulling you toward her car.
“Hana, what’s wrong? Why the hell are you pulling me?” you asked, but she ignored you.
Once inside the car, she stared silently out the front window.
It irritated you that she made such a dramatic move just to say nothing. You would have much preferred walking home with your headphones on, crying over your miserable life.
Still trying to collect yourself, you asked softly, “Is everything alright?”
At that moment, she grabbed something from the backseat, threw it onto your lap, and looked at you with an expression you had never seen before.
Looking down, you recognised your notebook.
Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you prepared yourself for one ugly conversation.
“You fucking lied to me. Every word of encouragement from you was a fucking lie. Do you know how stupid I feel? You watched me make a fool out of myself. Did you ever consider telling me? Or did you enjoy watching me openly flirt with a man who is fucking head over heels for you? Do you know how humiliating this is? Was I a joke to you? For what, huh? So you could later use me as some lame moral excuse to let him go? First you make me a clown, and then I’m the reason you don’t approach him?”
It broke her. It broke her how long this had been going on, how uncertain you were of yourself, and how you were always the one to put yourself last.
You didn’t choose him over her. You never chose yourself over anyone. And it made her sick, because she would never be that way. She always took what she wanted. She admired you, and it disgusted her at the same time.
You, on the other hand, just listened. Was she unfair to you? Of course. But you understood her. In some way, you had played with her feelings, even if it had never crossed your mind. So if she needed this, it was okay. You had messed things up. Maybe all of you had.
After an uncomfortable silence filled with Hana’s ragged breathing, she cut through it.
“You know, Megumi never looked at me the way he looks at you. I saw it. I saw how his features softened around you, how he would wait for me to leave just so he could talk to you. How he always searched for a way to be close to you, even if it meant just buying a coffee. But I ignored it. I wanted him. He wasn’t like the others, drooling over me with a snap of my fingers. At first, I didn’t think about it. But I came to realise he was already gone before I even started”
That might have been the moment Hana closed that chapter. She didn’t do it out of generosity or kindness. At the end of the day, she wasn’t you. She would never be you. She did it because there was no escaping the truth and she had to face it.
“I’m sorry, I-“ she stopped you with a raised hand. “I don’t want you to say anything. To be honest, I don’t want to hear you. I’m too mad to put up with this shit. Just… go to him. I’ll hate you if you waste this”
It hurt how indifferent she was toward you, how she didn’t even want to hear you out. But you didn’t want to fight.
Respecting her decision, you nodded and stepped out of her car.
Hana expected to see you and Megumi walking around campus hand in hand, as if the world belonged to just the two of you.
That day never came, though.
She waited for weeks, but nothing happened.
Instead, she noticed Megumi growing passive. He withdrew more than usual. He became colder, more uninterested, no longer himself. Just a robot going through his routine.
And you? You looked exhausted. Breaks you usually spent with her and Miwa turned into you disappearing and only returning for lessons.
Everything fell apart, and she had no explanation why. The doors were open. You loved him. He loved you. She had stepped aside. So what was the problem?
To find out, she told a worried Miwa everything. Miwa went to comfort you and came back with new information, about the confrontation between you and Megumi, and the fact that neither of you had dared to make a move afterward.
Hana was no longer the obstacle. Megumi was.
One hardship had been enough for him to run away and accept your rejection.
At first, she tried to ignore it. It was none of her business. You both could suffer, and she wouldn’t care.
But then… she did. Damn it, she did.
She hated seeing you suffer over something you didn’t have to. She hated how Megumi hid behind his pride. And she hated how all of you acted like there was nothing to fix, as if this had been some peaceful separation.
Maybe she lost. But she wouldn’t accept watching both of you destroy yourselves. She wasn’t that heartless.
So one fateful day, she messaged Megumi to meet her in the janitor’s room.
If it hadn’t been for her serious tone, he would have ignored her. Maybe it had something to do with you. Even if he forced himself to believe you didn’t matter anymore, there was nothing in his life he had failed at more than losing you.
As soon as he closed the door behind him, Hana started ranting. No hello. No small talk.
“I shouldn’t be the one doing this shit, but since you have issues manning up and your so-called moral lover won’t do it, I’ll give you a reality check.”
Frowning, offended, he snapped, “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You really want to know? I’m talking about how your ass let her go because it was easier than fighting. She did that to avoid hurting me, and you still act like she chose me over you, like she was playing some game. You don’t realize she left because she wanted you so fucking badly, do you? She owns a whole-ass notebook filled with poems, scribbles, and entries about you like some pathetic little girl. And now you’re both acting like cowards because neither of you has the guts to stay and fix your problems. You’re the most stupid people I’ve ever met. I didn’t want to interfere, and I’m still beyond mad at her, but if you let her walk away because it’s easier for you, you don’t deserve her. Do whatever you want with that.”
She spat the words without taking a breath and left, abandoning him with thoughts and feelings that refused to leave him alone.
Megumi didn’t act right away. At first, he tried to avoid it for as long as possible, but his sleepless nights only grew worse.
He couldn’t get you out of his mind. At night, he stared at his dark ceiling and saw you. Heard your laugh. Heard your voice.
He hated being attached, but with you, he couldn’t help it. He missed you. He needed you. He wanted to feel you and your lips against his again. He wanted to share his cold bed with you, hold you in his arms, and get lost in your scent.
And he finally admitted the truth.
He had been a scared coward, letting you go at the first inconvenience, accepting your excuses far too easily. He thought he was protecting himself, but he was just running.
Not anymore. He didn’t want to.
Thats how he ended up camping outside the café, waiting for you to close.
When you stepped out the back door, you saw him.
Just as you turned to go back inside, he noticed and stopped you.
“We need to talk” was all he said.
There was no way out. Despite your painfully fast heartbeat, you surrendered, leaning against the wall.
The silence was heavy. Too heavy. You refused to look at him, but you felt his burning gaze.
Gathering your courage, you finally looked at him.
He looked different. Dark circles under his eyes, slouched posture. Almost ashamed.
Not wanting to soften, you looked away again until he spoke.
“I was wrong for letting you go”.
You didn’t answer, waiting.
Sighing at your silence, he continued, “Even after you told me your reasons, I believed you chose to leave me. I didn’t fight because I was hurt, not because I didn’t care. I drowned in my own misery and blamed you for it”
You didn’t want to be angry. You knew he wasn’t evil, just hurt. But you couldn’t forget how cold he had been that day. How miserable he made you feel when the choice hadn’t been easy for you either. How guilty he made you feel every time you crossed paths.
Finding a bit of courage, he stepped closer, lifting your chin gently.
His touch was soft, as if you were porcelain.
On the verge of breaking, you whispered, “You don’t get to say this now”
He closed his eyes as if your words physically hurt. When he opened them, he cupped your cheeks, just like the day he kissed you.
“If you walk away again, I’ll follow. I don’t want to live as if there isn’t an ‘us.’ I won’t do that again. If I have to, I’ll travel to the end of the world to find a solution, but I won’t leave you, and I won’t let you leave me either”
As he spoke, he moved closer until his chest pressed against yours. You felt his racing heart, just as he felt yours.
You fought to keep your composure, but his closeness made it hard.
Slowly, his eyes drifted to your lips. And even though your pride resisted, your heart had already surrendered.
He lowered his head, searching your face for resistance. There was none.
So he kissed you, taking what he had dreamed about for so long.
At first, you barely responded, clinging to your pride. But it didn’t last once his hand tangled in your hair, deepening the kiss.
You gave in, hands sliding to his back, his neck, his hair.
He slipped his tongue in, tasting you fully, making your knees weak.
Pulling back for air, he whispered, “I won’t let anyone take you away from me anymore. Not even myself” before kissing you again, this time like a promise.
It was slow and sweet, romantic and full of love. He took his time, biting your lower lip, soothing it with his tongue, changing angles carefully.
When he finally pulled away, he buried his face in your neck, arms wrapped around your waist.
“I’ll make you happy the way you deserve” he murmured, lips grazing your skin.