m @mei-yi - Tumblr Blog

lately I've been seeing this idea pop up in the manosphere

being a real man means living a life of suffering but disregarding your negative feelings in order to achieve some goal

here it is in Louis Theroux's documentary:

here it is again in this Andrew Tate's crash out, in which he says that "masculine consciousness is constant anxiety and pain"

and "women sleep well at night! this is for girls! men don't!"

and I also heard it in an interview of Clavicular where he essentially says that he hates what he does every day, but that wanting to do what you feel like is "immature" (aka childlike aka feminine)

obviously the idea that women sleep well at night and cruise through their stressless and painless existence like carefree children is objectively fucking demented

but when you listen to those guys, you realize that it's simply not about facts, about who really has it harder in society, men or women

it's about identity: in order to be a real man, they have to interpret their life as a life of struggle, no matter what the facts are, or how self-inflicted those supposed struggles are

no matter what they live through, they will bend their interpretation of events to fit their struggle narrative, in order to perform masculinity

interestingly they do acknowledge that they hate their life, that it's sad and hard

they are aware of their negative feelings, but being a real man means dissociating from them, not listening to them, fighting them

so is it any wonder that they behave like sociopaths towards other people, they disregard others' negative feelings because they disregard their own

men who objectify themselves, who dissociate so much from their feelings that they turn themselves into objects to be controlled, will be rapists and scammers who treat others like objects to be controlled

maaarine

I Don’t Want to Talk about It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Terrence Real, 1997)

"Fagot found that parents gave significantly more favorable responses when their children conformed to “same-sex preferred” behavior and actively discouraged “cross-sex preferred” behavior.

Girls, for example, elicited negative responses from their parents when engaged in large motor activities—running, jumping, throwing—and positive responses when they asked for help.

Boys were encouraged to play by themselves and discouraged from staying close to the parent.

Boys were praised for independent accomplishments and tacitly dissuaded from helping the parents with chores.

One of the most interesting findings is that these parents, all of whom demonstrated significant force in shaping their children’s conformity saw themselves unequivocally as treating their sons and daughters alike.

The discrepancy between the parents’ own report of even-handed treatment of both sexes and the parents’ actual behavior was vast.

With remarkable understatement, Fagot concludes: “These data suggest that parents are not fully aware of the methods they use to socialize their young children.”

klapollo

You are a woman living in 2027. In an argument with a man in the middle of a city street, he gets flustered and reflexively shouts "grok, put her in a bikini" to no one in particular

maaarine

So the Epstein scandal is about politics? Silly me for thinking it’s about the mass abuse of women and girls (Marina Hyde, The Guardian, Feb 6 2026)

"But the frenzied and remorseless focus on political fallout – and not the male-on-female debasement that is the entire heart of this story, and always has been – is weird, isn’t it?

I had a mirthless laugh at the New Statesman’s cover this week, which characterised the Mandelson affair as “the scandal of the century”.

Guys, it’s not even the biggest scandal of the scandal.

Let me be clear. I think all the bits of the fallout we’re focusing on now are a mass displacement activity, driven subconsciously or consciously by men so we don’t have to reckon with the fact that we now have searchable records of the way some of the most powerful guys in the world, who have huge sway over our lives, talk and think about women.

And about girls. (…)

And years on from that investigation, we can see that the reaction to every file dump is born of the same look-the-wrong way impulse that allowed it all to happen.

From Noam Chomsky to Steve Bannon, from Bill Gates to the former Prince Andrew – this is nothing to do with left or right, or new money or old.

There will always be something more important than grappling the roots of misogyny – money, power, access, information, a political project, “how the world works”, whether you can use Mandelson to bring down Keir Starmer, “philanthropy”, realpolitik … .

A million other priorities.

The abused women and girls are nothing but a plot device, just like they always were.

It’s the pussy-grabbers’ world – we just live in it. The only difference is you can now see it laid out in black and white."

thoughtportal

antisocialxconstruct

man having your life even a little bit together will really make you realize how chronically sleep-deprived and poorly fed and under-enriched everyone is and then when they turn to you to implicitly agree that that's just the natural state of existing you feel like the asshole for being like "actually I think you might benefit from eating breakfast regularly and picking up a new hobby"

nunhauntology

RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF MEANS THAT YOU DON’T FALL FOR SHALLOW AND EASY SOLUTIONS

ADRIENNE RICH

aphel1on

"character doing a c+ job of breaking the cycle of abuse" is such a crunchy dynamic forever. what if i'm giving my all to give you a better life than i had and i'm succeeding but "better" just isn't quite enough. what if my blind spots and deeply ingrained trauma and inexperience mean that you will be indelibly scarred by me despite my best efforts. what if my abuser's influence still bleeds through at times because i know nothing else. what if i go so far in the opposite direction to avoid it that i hurt you in ways i couldn't have anticipated. what if my undeniable love and unforgivable shortcomings came part and parcel with each other. what if your love and gratitude and resentment and pain came part and parcel too. what if we both knew you deserved better but i was all you had. what if we had to move forward and reckon with that. what then

txttletale

sorry for [remembering a tumblr post about expressing gratitude instead of apologising to make the interaction more positive for the other person] i mean thank you for having a boyfriend who was so easy to run over withmy car and reverse over three times maybe four

creekfiend

I identify the most with the woman who has a green velvet ribbon around her neck and keeps being like "DONT untie my neck ribbon or something really bad will happen" and then her husband unties the ribbon and her head falls off. this is extremely real to me. spent my whole life like "please don't do this thing to me or really bad stuff will happen" and everyone around me being like "that sounds fake" and doing it anyway. and then my head fell off!